Some people believe that children should be taught financial management skills at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The importance of teaching financial management skills to children in school has been increasingly recognized in recent years. Some argue that equipping young people with financial literacy from an early age is crucial for their future success, while others believe that this responsibility should primarily rest with parents. I strongly agree that schools should play a significant role in teaching financial management, as this skill is essential for personal development and long-term financial stability.

One compelling reason to include financial education in the school curriculum is that it prepares children for real-world challenges. Understanding how to manage money, budget, and save equips students with the tools they need to make informed financial decisions throughout their lives. For example, lessons on saving, investing, and avoiding debt can help young people avoid common financial pitfalls such as excessive borrowing or impulsive spending. In a world where consumerism is pervasive and credit is easily accessible, financial literacy is not just a useful skill but a necessary one.

Furthermore, schools provide a structured environment where all students, regardless of their background, can receive the same level of financial education. While some parents may be knowledgeable and proactive in teaching their children about money, others may lack the skills or time to do so effectively. By integrating financial management into the school curriculum, educators can ensure that all students, regardless of socio-economic status, have access to essential financial knowledge. This can also help reduce future financial inequalities, as students from less privileged backgrounds gain the skills needed to manage their finances effectively.

However, it is also important to acknowledge that parents play a vital role in shaping their children’s financial habits. Teaching children about money at home, such as through practical experiences like saving for a toy or budgeting their allowance, reinforces what is learned in school. Nevertheless, schools have the resources and expertise to provide a more comprehensive and systematic approach to financial education, covering complex topics like taxes, loans, and investments that parents may not be equipped to teach.

In conclusion, I strongly agree that schools should take on the responsibility of teaching financial management skills. This approach not only ensures that all students have the opportunity to develop essential life skills but also helps create a more financially literate and responsible society. While parents should continue to model good financial behavior, formal education on this topic in schools is an invaluable investment in the future of young people.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"increasingly recognized" -> "increasingly recognized as important"
Explanation: Adding "as important" clarifies the nature of the recognition, specifying that it is the importance of teaching financial management skills that is being recognized, which enhances the precision of the statement.
"I strongly agree" -> "I firmly believe"
Explanation: "I firmly believe" is a more formal expression suitable for academic writing, replacing the more conversational "I strongly agree."
"play a significant role" -> "assume a pivotal role"
Explanation: "Assume a pivotal role" emphasizes the importance and centrality of schools in teaching financial management, which is more precise and impactful in an academic context.
"real-world challenges" -> "real-world realities"
Explanation: "Real-world realities" is a more formal and precise term that better fits the academic tone, suggesting a broader range of challenges beyond just "challenges."
"equips students with the tools" -> "equips students with the necessary tools"
Explanation: Adding "necessary" specifies that the tools provided are essential, enhancing the clarity and formality of the statement.
"avoid common financial pitfalls" -> "avoid common financial pitfalls such as excessive borrowing and impulsive spending"
Explanation: Providing specific examples of financial pitfalls enhances the clarity and specificity of the statement, making it more effective in academic writing.
"pervasive" -> "widespread"
Explanation: "Widespread" is a more neutral and academically appropriate term compared to "pervasive," which can carry a slightly negative connotation.
"necessary one" -> "essential one"
Explanation: "Essential" is a more formal synonym for "necessary," aligning better with the academic style.
"structured environment" -> "structured educational environment"
Explanation: Adding "educational" specifies the type of environment, enhancing the precision and relevance to the context of schools.
"lack the skills or time" -> "lack the necessary skills or sufficient time"
Explanation: "Necessary skills or sufficient time" provides a clearer and more formal expression, emphasizing the importance of both skills and time in teaching financial management.
"financial inequalities" -> "financial disparities"
Explanation: "Financial disparities" is a more precise and formal term, commonly used in academic discussions about economic and financial issues.
"vital role" -> "crucial role"
Explanation: "Crucial" is a stronger, more formal adjective that emphasizes the importance of parents’ roles in teaching financial management.
"practical experiences" -> "practical experiences such as saving for a toy or budgeting their allowance"
Explanation: Adding "such as" clarifies the types of practical experiences, making the statement more specific and detailed.
"more comprehensive and systematic approach" -> "more comprehensive and systematic approach"
Explanation: Removing "and" before "systematic" corrects a grammatical error, ensuring the phrase functions correctly as an adjective modifying "approach."
"helps create a more financially literate and responsible society" -> "contributes to a more financially literate and responsible society"
Explanation: "Contributes to" is a more precise verb that accurately describes the role of schools in enhancing societal financial literacy and responsibility, aligning better with academic style.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses the prompt by clearly stating the author’s position that schools should teach financial management skills. It acknowledges the opposing viewpoint—that parents should be responsible for this education—but ultimately reinforces the author’s agreement with the need for school-based financial education. The essay discusses the importance of financial literacy and presents arguments supporting the inclusion of financial management in the school curriculum, thus covering all parts of the question.
- How to improve: To enhance the response further, the essay could benefit from a more explicit acknowledgment of the extent of agreement. For instance, the author could clarify whether they believe financial education should be mandatory or simply a recommended addition to the curriculum. Including a brief discussion on the potential drawbacks of school-based financial education could also provide a more balanced view.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear and consistent position throughout, strongly advocating for the inclusion of financial management skills in schools. The author effectively uses phrases like "I strongly agree" and "this skill is essential," which reinforce their stance. Each paragraph supports this position with relevant arguments and examples, ensuring that the reader understands the author’s viewpoint.
- How to improve: While the position is clear, the author could enhance the essay by explicitly restating their main argument in the conclusion to reinforce their stance. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph begins with a topic sentence that reflects the main argument could further strengthen the clarity of the position.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several well-developed ideas, such as the necessity of financial literacy for real-world challenges and the equitable access to financial education through schools. The use of examples, such as avoiding debt and the structured environment of schools, effectively supports these ideas. The author also acknowledges the role of parents, which adds depth to the argument.
- How to improve: To further extend and support ideas, the author could incorporate more specific examples or statistics related to financial literacy outcomes. For instance, citing studies that show improved financial behavior among students who received formal education could strengthen the argument. Additionally, discussing potential methods for implementing financial education in schools could provide a more comprehensive view.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay remains focused on the topic of financial management education in schools and does not deviate from this central theme. Each paragraph contributes to the overall argument, and the author skillfully navigates between supporting their position and acknowledging the role of parents without straying off-topic.
- How to improve: While the essay is largely on topic, the author could ensure that every point made directly ties back to the main argument. For example, when discussing the role of parents, it could be framed more explicitly in relation to how this complements or contrasts with school-based education, reinforcing the essay’s focus on the importance of school involvement.

Overall, the essay is well-structured and presents a strong argument for the inclusion of financial management skills in school curricula. By addressing the suggestions for improvement, the author could elevate their score even further.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 8

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear and logical progression of ideas. The introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion, outlining the two opposing views and clearly stating the author’s position. Each paragraph builds on the previous one, with the first two paragraphs presenting arguments in favor of financial education in schools, while the third acknowledges the role of parents. For instance, the transition from discussing the benefits of financial education to the role of parents is smooth and maintains the overall flow of the essay.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization further, consider using more explicit transitional phrases between paragraphs. For example, at the beginning of the third paragraph, a phrase like "While the role of parents is significant, it is essential to recognize…" could strengthen the connection between the arguments.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate distinct ideas, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the argument. The first paragraph introduces the topic and the author’s stance, the second and third paragraphs provide supporting arguments, and the conclusion summarizes the main points. This clear structure aids readability and comprehension.
- How to improve: While the paragraphing is generally effective, consider ensuring that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that encapsulates the main idea. For instance, the second paragraph could start with a sentence like "One of the primary benefits of teaching financial management in schools is the preparation it provides for real-world challenges." This would immediately inform the reader of the paragraph’s focus.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good use of cohesive devices, such as "furthermore," "however," and "for example," which help to connect ideas and clarify relationships between them. These devices contribute to the overall coherence of the essay, making it easy for the reader to follow the argument.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, consider incorporating a wider range of linking phrases. For example, instead of repeatedly using "for example," you might use "for instance" or "such as" to introduce examples. Additionally, using more complex cohesive devices, like "in contrast" or "consequently," can enhance the sophistication of the writing.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong command of coherence and cohesion, effectively organizing ideas and using cohesive devices to guide the reader through the argument. By implementing the suggested improvements, the writer can further elevate the clarity and sophistication of their writing.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 8

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of vocabulary, effectively employing terms relevant to financial management and education. Phrases such as "financial literacy," "financial pitfalls," and "socio-economic status" illustrate a strong command of topic-specific language. The use of varied expressions like "compelling reason," "structured environment," and "comprehensive and systematic approach" further enhances the lexical diversity.
- How to improve: To elevate the lexical resource even further, consider incorporating more synonyms or less common phrases to avoid repetition. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "financial education," alternatives like "financial training" or "money management instruction" could be employed. Additionally, integrating idiomatic expressions or collocations related to finance could enrich the essay’s vocabulary.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary accurately, with terms like "budget," "investing," and "impulsive spending" being contextually appropriate. However, there are moments where precision could be improved, such as the phrase "financial inequalities," which could be more clearly articulated as "financial disparities" to enhance clarity.
- How to improve: Focus on refining word choices to ensure that each term conveys the intended meaning without ambiguity. For example, when discussing "common financial pitfalls," specifying what these pitfalls are (e.g., "poor investment choices" or "lack of savings") could provide greater clarity. Additionally, reviewing synonyms for frequently used words can help avoid redundancy and enhance precision.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a high level of spelling accuracy, with no noticeable errors. Words such as "recognize," "education," and "responsibility" are spelled correctly throughout the text, reflecting careful proofreading and a solid grasp of English spelling conventions.
- How to improve: To maintain and further improve spelling accuracy, consider implementing a routine of proofreading essays before submission. Additionally, engaging in spelling exercises or using spelling apps can help reinforce correct spelling habits. It may also be beneficial to familiarize oneself with commonly misspelled words in academic writing to avoid potential pitfalls.

In summary, the essay demonstrates a strong command of lexical resource, achieving a band score of 8 due to its wide range of vocabulary, precise usage, and correct spelling. By focusing on enhancing vocabulary diversity, refining word choices for precision, and maintaining spelling accuracy, the writer can aim for an even higher score in future essays.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures. For instance, the use of complex sentences is evident in phrases like "While some parents may be knowledgeable and proactive in teaching their children about money, others may lack the skills or time to do so effectively." This showcases the ability to connect ideas and present contrasting viewpoints. Additionally, the essay effectively employs conditional structures, as seen in "If schools integrate financial management into the curriculum, students will be better prepared for real-world challenges." The range of structures contributes to the clarity and sophistication of the argument.
- How to improve: To further diversify sentence structures, the writer could incorporate more varied introductory phrases and clauses. For example, using participial phrases or adverbial clauses could enhance the complexity of sentences. Additionally, varying the length of sentences more intentionally—mixing shorter, impactful sentences with longer, more detailed ones—could create a more dynamic reading experience.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay largely maintains high grammatical accuracy, with only minor errors. For instance, the phrase "financial literacy is not just a useful skill but a necessary one" is grammatically correct and punctuated properly. However, there is a slight inconsistency in the use of commas, such as in the sentence "This can also help reduce future financial inequalities, as students from less privileged backgrounds gain the skills needed to manage their finances effectively," where the comma before "as" could be omitted for a smoother flow. Overall, the punctuation effectively aids in clarity, but there are areas where it could be refined.
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, the writer should review comma usage rules, particularly regarding dependent clauses and conjunctions. Practicing with complex sentences and ensuring that punctuation complements the flow of ideas will help. Additionally, proofreading for minor grammatical slips, such as subject-verb agreement or tense consistency, can further elevate the overall quality of the writing.

In summary, the essay exhibits a strong command of grammatical range and accuracy, meriting a band score of 8. By focusing on diversifying sentence structures and refining punctuation use, the writer can aim for an even higher level of proficiency in future essays.

Bài sửa mẫu

The importance of teaching financial management skills to children in school has been increasingly recognized as important in recent years. Some argue that equipping young people with financial literacy from an early age is crucial for their future success, while others believe that this responsibility should primarily rest with parents. I firmly believe that schools should assume a pivotal role in teaching financial management, as this skill is essential for personal development and long-term financial stability.

One compelling reason to include financial education in the school curriculum is that it prepares children for real-world realities. Understanding how to manage money, budget, and save equips students with the necessary tools they need to make informed financial decisions throughout their lives. For example, lessons on saving, investing, and avoiding debt can help young people avoid common financial pitfalls such as excessive borrowing or impulsive spending. In a world where consumerism is widespread and credit is easily accessible, financial literacy is not just a useful skill but a necessary one.

Furthermore, schools provide a structured educational environment where all students, regardless of their background, can receive the same level of financial education. While some parents may be knowledgeable and proactive in teaching their children about money, others may lack the necessary skills or sufficient time to do so effectively. By integrating financial management into the school curriculum, educators can ensure that all students, regardless of socio-economic status, have access to essential financial knowledge. This can also help reduce future financial disparities, as students from less privileged backgrounds gain the skills needed to manage their finances effectively.

However, it is also important to acknowledge that parents play a crucial role in shaping their children’s financial habits. Teaching children about money at home, such as through practical experiences like saving for a toy or budgeting their allowance, reinforces what is learned in school. Nevertheless, schools have the resources and expertise to provide a more comprehensive and systematic approach to financial education, covering complex topics like taxes, loans, and investments that parents may not be equipped to teach.

In conclusion, I strongly agree that schools should take on the responsibility of teaching financial management skills. This approach not only ensures that all students have the opportunity to develop essential life skills but also contributes to a more financially literate and responsible society. While parents should continue to model good financial behavior, formal education on this topic in schools is an invaluable investment in the future of young people.