Some people believe that developments in the field of artificial intelligence will have a positive impact on our lives in the near future. Others, by contrast, are worried that we are not prepared for a world in which computers are more intelligent than humans. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that developments in the field of artificial intelligence will have a positive impact on our lives in the near future. Others, by contrast, are worried that we are not prepared for a world in which computers are more intelligent than humans. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In an era of technological advances, many advocates that machine learning reap various benefits to people's lives while the opponents posit that this development can bring along challenges in a world where devices are smarter than humans. This essay will explore both perspectives and present my stance on the topic.

On the one hand, the adoption of intelligent computers has increased productivity and performance in areas such as manufacturing and organization. Automating mundane and repetitive tasks freed up human resources of which assembly line, a clear example towards how smart algorithms have revolutionized the entire manufacturing firm. Starting with the first moving assembly line used by Henry Ford in the beginning of 20th century in order to speed up building a car, automobiles then have been constantly innovated. Until now, these systems are able to work continuously without breaks with a high accuracy and reliability, being spread in mass production worldwide. Besides, smart computers can serve as personal assistants, enabling organizations to manage office tasks, analyze data and anticipate business indexes. Obviously, these above applications of artificial intelligence shape the industry and the way people organize a business.

On the other hand, I suppose that a majority of people are not well-prepared in terms of labor skills to adapt with the digital technology revolution, which is likely to negatively impact sustainability careers. In fact, many countries saw mass layoffs in especially manufacturing companies due to the replacement’s smart robots towards manual work. Many experts who are well-equipped and have wide experiences, are seemingly unemployable in such an era of digital transition. Big tech companies, for example, have been cutting off their employees. This has been happening to those who are managers or senior specialists in such corporations since these companies had developed intelligent robots which can undertake their roles with a higher speed and accuracy. Furthermore, if people depend on computers with superior intelligence, the competence of creativity and critical thinking can gradually fade. For instance, Chat GPT, a breakthrough in completing flawlessly people’s requests such as writing a report or doing math, seems to hinder human’s development of essential skills such as research, independent thought or analyzing data.

In conclusion, artificial intelligence’s upsides are extremely undeniable for improving the efficiency of production or business management. However, I contend that the extended tendency of smart computers poses several threats to job security and diminishes creativity in some individuals.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

1. "many advocates that" -> "many advocates argue that"
   Explanation: Replacing "many advocates that" with "many advocates argue that" adds a more formal and precise tone, aligning with academic style and indicating a clear presentation of viewpoints.

2. "this development can bring along challenges" -> "this development can pose challenges"
   Explanation: Changing "bring along challenges" to "pose challenges" is a more concise and formal expression, maintaining clarity while eliminating unnecessary informality.

3. "smart algorithms have revolutionized the entire manufacturing firm" -> "smart algorithms have revolutionized manufacturing processes"
   Explanation: Substituting "the entire manufacturing firm" with "manufacturing processes" streamlines the sentence, making it more focused and academically precise.

4. "Starting with the first moving assembly line used by Henry Ford in the beginning of 20th century" -> "Commencing with Henry Ford’s implementation of the first moving assembly line in the early 20th century"
   Explanation: The revised sentence provides a more detailed and polished description, using proper attribution to Henry Ford and specifying the timeframe more precisely.

5. "smart computers can serve as personal assistants" -> "intelligent computers can function as personal assistants"
   Explanation: Replacing "smart computers" with "intelligent computers" enhances the formality of the sentence without sacrificing clarity, aligning with academic language expectations.

6. "these above applications of artificial intelligence shape the industry" -> "these applications of artificial intelligence shape industries"
   Explanation: Adjusting "these above applications" to "these applications" and changing "the industry" to "industries" results in a more concise and academically appropriate statement.

7. "I suppose that a majority of people" -> "I contend that a majority of people"
   Explanation: Substituting "I suppose that" with "I contend that" strengthens the author’s position and conveys a more assertive tone in presenting their perspective.

8. "well-prepared in terms of labor skills" -> "adequately equipped with labor skills"
   Explanation: Using "adequately equipped with labor skills" enhances the formality of the phrase while maintaining the intended meaning.

9. "which is likely to negatively impact sustainability careers" -> "potentially impacting careers in a detrimental manner"
   Explanation: The revised expression provides a more nuanced and academically appropriate description of the potential negative impact on careers.

10. "smart robots towards manual work" -> "smart robots in lieu of manual work"
    Explanation: Replacing "smart robots towards" with "smart robots in lieu of" improves the precision of the sentence, avoiding a less formal and more ambiguous expression.

11. "seemingly unemployable" -> "potentially unemployable"
    Explanation: Changing "seemingly unemployable" to "potentially unemployable" introduces a degree of uncertainty, aligning with a more cautious academic tone.

12. "if people depend on computers with superior intelligence" -> "if individuals rely on highly intelligent computers"
    Explanation: Substituting "people depend on" with "individuals rely on" and specifying "highly intelligent computers" contributes to a more formal and precise expression.

13. "the competence of creativity and critical thinking" -> "the development of creativity and critical thinking skills"
    Explanation: Reframing "the competence of creativity and critical thinking" as "the development of creativity and critical thinking skills" results in a more accurate and formal representation.

14. "such as research, independent thought or analyzing data" -> "such as research, independent thinking, and data analysis"
    Explanation: Adding "thinking" after "independent" and replacing "analyzing" with "data analysis" improves the parallel structure and clarity of the sentence.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

• Answer All Parts of the Question:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay adequately addresses both perspectives outlined in the prompt, discussing the positive impacts of artificial intelligence (AI) on productivity and efficiency, as well as expressing concerns about job security and diminishing creativity.
  • How to improve: While the essay covers both views, providing more depth in the discussion of potential challenges and benefits would enhance the comprehensiveness of the response.

• Present a Clear Position Throughout:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position throughout, expressing support for the positive impacts of AI while acknowledging potential downsides.
  • How to improve: To further enhance clarity, consider explicitly stating your position in the introduction or conclusion, ensuring the reader easily identifies your stance.

• Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively presents ideas with examples, such as the impact of AI on manufacturing and business management. However, some instances lack elaboration, such as the mention of layoffs.
  • How to improve: Develop each example further by providing additional details and explanations. This will strengthen your arguments and make your points more persuasive.

• Stay on Topic:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic but briefly touches on the idea of job security without delving deeply into the potential challenges, making it slightly less focused.
  • How to improve: Ensure that each point directly relates to the topic, and expand on the discussion of challenges associated with AI, offering more nuanced insights.

Overall Comments:

Your essay effectively addresses the prompt, discussing both positive and negative aspects of AI. To improve, consider providing more detailed and nuanced explanations for each perspective. Additionally, enhance the development of examples to strengthen your arguments. Remember to explicitly state your position for increased clarity, and ensure that all points directly contribute to the overall coherence of the essay. Overall, a well-structured and thoughtful response.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

• Organize Information Logically:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a generally logical organization of information. It begins with a clear introduction that presents the topic and the author’s stance. Each body paragraph explores a specific aspect of the argument, with examples and evidence to support the points. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and restates the author’s opinion.
  • How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider refining the transitions between paragraphs. Ensure that each paragraph logically connects to the previous one, creating a smooth progression of ideas. Additionally, maintaining a consistent level of detail and depth in each paragraph can contribute to a more cohesive structure.

• Use Paragraphs:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs appropriately to organize ideas. Each paragraph focuses on a specific point or example, contributing to the overall coherence of the essay. The introduction and conclusion are distinct, framing the body paragraphs effectively.
  • How to improve: While the essay generally uses paragraphs effectively, there could be slight improvements in paragraph transitions. Ensure that the first sentence of each paragraph serves as a clear transition from the previous one, guiding the reader through the essay seamlessly.

• Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay employs a range of cohesive devices, such as linking words and phrases ("On the one hand," "On the other hand," "Furthermore," "In conclusion"). These devices contribute to the overall coherence by signaling shifts between ideas and supporting the flow of the essay.
  • How to improve: Continue using cohesive devices, but be mindful of their placement and variety. Introduce a wider range of transitional expressions to add nuance to the connections between ideas. This can contribute to a more sophisticated and cohesive essay.

Overall, the essay effectively organizes information, uses paragraphs appropriately, and employs a range of cohesive devices. To improve coherence and cohesion further, focus on refining transitions between paragraphs and introducing a greater variety of cohesive devices. Additionally, maintaining a consistent level of detail in each paragraph will contribute to a more cohesive structure.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

• Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay displays a commendable range of vocabulary, incorporating terms like "advocates," "revolutionized," "sustainability," and "transition." However, there’s room to further enrich the vocabulary by integrating more nuanced or domain-specific terminology. For instance, elaborating on "digital technology revolution" with industry-specific terms or delving into the multifaceted nature of "creativity" could enhance lexical diversity.
  • How to improve: To broaden the vocabulary spectrum, consider incorporating industry-specific jargon related to automation or technological advancements. Furthermore, explore synonyms or more elaborate phrases for broader concepts like creativity and digital transitions to showcase a deeper lexical range.

• Use Vocabulary Precisely:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively utilizes vocabulary to convey ideas; however, there are instances where specific terminology could be used more precisely. For instance, the essay mentions "assembly line" but could elaborate on the intricacies of this process with technical terms specific to manufacturing and automation.
  • How to improve: To enhance precision, delve deeper into specific terms related to automation processes, such as "autonomous systems," "robotics integration," or "predictive algorithms." This precision would underscore a thorough understanding of the subject matter.

• Use Correct Spelling:

  • Detailed explanation: The spelling accuracy in the essay is generally sound, with few noticeable errors. However, there are minor spelling inaccuracies like "flawlessly" or "dependence."
  • How to improve: Proofreading attentively and utilizing tools like spell checkers or practicing through consistent writing could help improve spelling accuracy. Additionally, paying closer attention to common problem areas might enhance overall spelling precision.

The essay demonstrates a strong command of vocabulary, effectively conveying complex ideas. To further elevate the Lexical Resource score, aim for a more nuanced vocabulary by delving into specific industry terms and refining precision in expressing technical concepts. Attention to detail in spelling can also contribute to a more polished piece of writing.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

• Use a Wide Range of Structures:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonably varied range of sentence structures. There is an effective use of complex sentences, such as the one beginning with "On the one hand." However, the essay could benefit from more diversity, particularly in the use of sentence types (simple, compound, complex). This would enhance overall readability and engagement for the reader.
  • How to improve: To further enrich the essay, consider incorporating a wider array of sentence structures. Introduce more complex sentences where appropriate, and strive for a balance between sentence types to create a more dynamic writing style.

• Use Grammar Accurately:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay generally displays sound grammatical accuracy. However, there are a few instances where subject-verb agreement could be improved. For example, in the sentence, "Big tech companies, for example, have been cutting off their employees," the term "cutting off" may be revised to "laying off" for more precision.
  • How to improve: Pay closer attention to subject-verb agreement to ensure clarity. Review each sentence to confirm that subjects and verbs align correctly. In the aforementioned example, changing "cutting off" to "laying off" would enhance grammatical accuracy.

• Use Correct Punctuation:

  • Detailed explanation: Punctuation is generally used correctly throughout the essay. Commas, periods, and colons are appropriately employed. However, there are a few instances where the use of commas could be refined for better clarity. For instance, in the sentence, "In an era of technological advances, many advocates that machine learning reap various benefits to people’s lives," consider revising to "In an era of technological advances, many advocate that machine learning brings various benefits to people’s lives" for smoother flow.
  • How to improve: Review the use of commas for instances where they may create slight ambiguity or disrupt the flow. In the provided example, a slight adjustment improves the sentence’s clarity and readability. Strive for precision in your punctuation usage to enhance overall coherence.

Bài sửa mẫu

In an era of technological advances, many advocates argue that machine learning brings various benefits to people’s lives, while others posit that this development can pose challenges in a world where devices are smarter than humans. This essay will explore both perspectives and present my stance on the topic.

On the positive side, the adoption of intelligent computers has increased productivity and performance in areas such as manufacturing and organization. Automating mundane and repetitive tasks has freed up human resources, as seen in the assembly line—a clear example of how smart algorithms have revolutionized the entire manufacturing process. Commencing with Henry Ford’s implementation of the first moving assembly line in the early 20th century to speed up car production, automobiles have since undergone constant innovation. These systems can now work continuously without breaks, ensuring high accuracy and reliability in mass production worldwide. Additionally, smart computers can function as personal assistants, enabling organizations to manage office tasks, analyze data, and anticipate business trends. These applications of artificial intelligence significantly shape industries and the way businesses are organized.

On the flip side, I contend that a majority of people may not be adequately equipped with labor skills to adapt to the digital technology revolution, potentially impacting careers in a detrimental manner. In fact, many countries have witnessed mass layoffs, especially in manufacturing companies, due to the replacement of manual work by smart robots. Many experts who are well-equipped and have extensive experience seem potentially unemployable in this era of digital transition. Big tech companies, for example, have been cutting off employees, especially managers or senior specialists, as these companies develop intelligent robots capable of undertaking their roles with higher speed and accuracy. Furthermore, if individuals heavily rely on highly intelligent computers, the development of creativity and critical thinking skills, such as research, independent thinking, and data analysis, may gradually fade. For instance, breakthroughs like Chat GPT, which flawlessly completes people’s requests such as writing reports or solving math problems, seem to hinder the development of essential human skills.

In conclusion, the benefits of artificial intelligence for improving production efficiency and business management are undeniable. However, I contend that the widespread use of smart computers poses several threats to job security and may diminish creativity in some individuals. It is crucial to strike a balance between embracing technological advancements and ensuring that individuals are adequately prepared to navigate the evolving landscape of work.