Some people believe that it is better to live in a city, while others think that life in the countryside is more beneficial. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In recent years, choosing between a developed city and the countryside as accommodation has sparked intense debates. While some people are of the idea that living in a city is beneficial to their daily lives, others claim that life in the countryside is significantly better. This essay will discuss both sides and shed light on why I agree with the former viewpoint.

On the one hand, selecting a city as accommodation could provide individuals with a significant amount of amenities. Nowadays, the majority of shops and stores are located in developed cities. Therefore, looking for commercial goods in cities would be extremely easy for people. For instance, many shopping malls in Ha Noi, such as Aeon Mall, Big C, offer a vast number of global brands like Nike, Adidas, Zara. This would make the demand to purchase for items of citizens significantly simpler. Furthermore, educational quality of developed cities is remarkably fine. Due to the establishment of many schools and institutions in cities, parents could have more choices in choosing a good school for their children. The governments have also invested significantly in improving infrastructure and teachers’ quality in large cities. Thus, students are offer with sufficient facilities and superior education.

On the other hand, life in the countryside also confers some benefits upon residents. Choosing to live in the suburban areas could reduce the chance of facing air pollutions. In comparison with cities, the amount of carbon dioxide released from private vehicles in the countryside is trivial. Thus, this could lead to lower risk of facing some health issues related to lungs. Moreover, costs of amenities in the suburban areas are significantly lower compared with that of large cities. As the rental fees and taxes in the countryside are not as high as in developed cities, prices of goods and items in the countryside would be more affordable for most individuals. Consequently, life in the countryside might be more suitable with people with limited income resources.

To sum up, even though life in both cities and the countryside have their own merits, I still lean towards living in large cities. I think that the advantages of life in large cities outweigh benefits of life in the countryside as cities could provide citizens with pervasive amenities and also good education. Even though life in the countryside could be beneficial for people in reducing the risk of facing air pollutions and expensive price of goods, these advantages are infinitesimal to that of life in large cities.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"choosing between a developed city and the countryside" -> "selecting between urban and rural areas"
Explanation: "Selecting between urban and rural areas" is more precise and formal, avoiding the colloquial tone of "choosing between a developed city and the countryside."
"of the idea that" -> "that"
Explanation: Removing "of the idea that" simplifies the phrase and aligns it with academic style, which prefers direct expression over unnecessary prepositional phrases.
"is beneficial to their daily lives" -> "benefits their daily lives"
Explanation: Changing to "benefits their daily lives" streamlines the sentence and enhances the formal tone by removing the unnecessary preposition "to."
"could provide individuals with a significant amount of amenities" -> "offers numerous amenities"
Explanation: "Offers numerous amenities" is more direct and formal, avoiding the awkward construction of "could provide individuals with a significant amount of."
"extremely easy" -> "significantly easier"
Explanation: "Significantly easier" is more precise and formal than "extremely easy," which is somewhat colloquial.
"demand to purchase for items of citizens" -> "demand for consumer goods"
Explanation: "Demand for consumer goods" is a more precise and formal term than "demand to purchase for items of citizens."
"remarkably fine" -> "excellent"
Explanation: "Excellent" is a more straightforward and academically appropriate term than "remarkably fine," which is somewhat vague and informal.
"students are offer with sufficient facilities and superior education" -> "students are offered sufficient facilities and superior education"
Explanation: Correcting the grammatical error "are offer" to "are offered" and removing the unnecessary preposition "with" improves the sentence structure and clarity.
"Choosing to live in the suburban areas could reduce the chance of facing air pollutions" -> "Living in suburban areas reduces the risk of air pollution"
Explanation: "Living in suburban areas reduces the risk of air pollution" is more direct and formal, avoiding the awkward construction of "could reduce the chance of facing."
"the amount of carbon dioxide released from private vehicles in the countryside is trivial" -> "the amount of carbon dioxide emissions from private vehicles in the countryside is negligible"
Explanation: "Negligible" is a more precise and formal term than "trivial," which can imply a lack of importance rather than a quantifiable measure.
"prices of goods and items in the countryside would be more affordable" -> "prices of goods and services in the countryside are more affordable"
Explanation: Changing "would be" to "are" corrects the tense to match the present context, and "services" is a more comprehensive term than "items."
"life in the countryside might be more suitable with people with limited income resources" -> "life in the countryside may be more suitable for individuals with limited financial resources"
Explanation: "May be more suitable for individuals with limited financial resources" is more precise and formal, replacing "people with limited income resources" with "individuals with limited financial resources" for clarity and formality.
"life in both cities and the countryside have their own merits" -> "life in both cities and the countryside has its own merits"
Explanation: Correcting "have" to "has" for subject-verb agreement and using "its" instead of "their" for the singular "countryside" improves grammatical accuracy and formality.
"infinitesimal to that of life in large cities" -> "insignificant compared to the benefits of life in large cities"
Explanation: "Insignificant compared to the benefits of life in large cities" is clearer and more formal than "infinitesimal to that of life in large cities," which is awkward and unclear.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both views regarding living in a city versus the countryside. The first body paragraph presents the advantages of urban life, such as access to amenities and quality education, while the second body paragraph discusses the benefits of rural living, including lower pollution levels and reduced living costs. The author also clearly states their opinion in the introduction and conclusion, favoring city life. However, the discussion of the countryside could be expanded to include more specific benefits, which would provide a more balanced view.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the author could include additional points about the countryside, such as community ties, tranquility, and potential for outdoor activities. This would provide a more comprehensive exploration of both perspectives.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position favoring city life throughout. The author consistently supports this viewpoint with relevant examples and reasoning. The conclusion reiterates this stance effectively, summarizing the main arguments for urban living. However, the transition between discussing the two perspectives could be smoother, as the shift from one to the other feels somewhat abrupt.
- How to improve: To improve clarity and coherence, the author could use transitional phrases when moving between the two viewpoints. For example, phrases like "Conversely" or "On the other hand" can help signal shifts in perspective and maintain a logical flow.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents and supports ideas well, particularly in the discussion of urban advantages. The examples provided, such as specific shopping malls and educational institutions, effectively illustrate the points made. However, the support for the rural perspective is less robust, with fewer examples and less detailed reasoning.
- How to improve: The author should aim to provide more specific examples and elaboration when discussing the countryside. For instance, mentioning particular health benefits or community aspects could strengthen the argument for rural living and provide a more balanced comparison.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the benefits of both living environments. However, there are moments where the discussion could be more tightly aligned with the prompt. For instance, the phrase "life in the countryside might be more suitable with people with limited income resources" could be more clearly connected to the broader discussion of lifestyle choices.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the author should ensure that each point made directly relates back to the advantages or disadvantages of city versus countryside living. Additionally, ensuring that all examples and arguments clearly tie back to the main question will enhance the overall coherence of the essay.

Overall, this essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the task and presents a well-structured argument. With some adjustments to balance the discussion of both perspectives and improve transitions, it could achieve an even higher score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure, beginning with an introduction that outlines the topic and the author’s stance. The body paragraphs are organized to discuss the advantages of city living first, followed by the benefits of countryside living. This logical progression helps the reader understand the contrasting viewpoints. However, the transition between the two perspectives could be smoother, as the shift from discussing city benefits to countryside advantages feels somewhat abrupt.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using transitional phrases that signal a shift in perspective, such as "Conversely" or "On the other hand." Additionally, summarizing the key points at the end of each paragraph before transitioning to the next could reinforce the logical connections between ideas.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the discussion. The introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion are clearly delineated. However, the second body paragraph could benefit from clearer topic sentences that explicitly state the main idea of the paragraph.
- How to improve: Start each body paragraph with a strong topic sentence that encapsulates the main point. For example, in the second body paragraph, a sentence like "Living in the countryside offers several distinct advantages" would clarify the focus of the paragraph. This technique not only aids in organization but also helps the reader follow the argument more easily.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs a variety of cohesive devices, such as "On the one hand," "For instance," and "To sum up," which contribute to the overall coherence. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and there are instances where the connections between sentences could be strengthened. For example, the phrase "this could lead to lower risk of facing some health issues related to lungs" could be better connected to the previous sentence to enhance clarity.
- How to improve: To diversify and effectively use cohesive devices, incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases, such as "Furthermore," "Additionally," and "In contrast." Also, ensure that each sentence flows logically into the next by using phrases that clarify relationships, such as "As a result," or "Consequently." This will improve the overall fluidity of the essay and reinforce the connections between ideas.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of coherence and cohesion, there are areas for improvement in the logical flow, paragraph structure, and the use of cohesive devices. By implementing the suggested strategies, the writer can enhance the clarity and effectiveness of their argument, potentially raising their band score in this criterion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms like "amenities," "pollutions," and "superior education" being effectively employed. However, there are instances where the vocabulary could be more varied. For example, the repeated use of "beneficial" and "significantly" suggests a limited lexical range. Additionally, phrases such as "the majority of shops and stores" could be more concise, as "the majority of shops" suffices.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should incorporate synonyms and alternative expressions. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "beneficial," they could use "advantageous," "favorable," or "profitable." Exploring thesauruses or vocabulary lists related to urban and rural living could also help diversify word choice.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains some precise vocabulary, such as "educational quality" and "health issues related to lungs." However, there are instances of imprecise usage, particularly with the phrase "the demand to purchase for items of citizens," which is awkward and unclear. The phrase "the advantages of life in large cities outweigh benefits of life in the countryside" lacks clarity due to the missing article "the" before "benefits."
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on clarity and grammatical correctness. For example, rephrasing "the demand to purchase for items of citizens" to "the ease of purchasing goods for residents" would enhance clarity. Additionally, ensuring that articles are used correctly will improve overall precision.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good level of spelling accuracy, with most words spelled correctly. However, there is a notable error with the plural form "pollutions," which should be singular as "pollution." This indicates a misunderstanding of the noun’s usage in this context.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should proofread their work more carefully, focusing on commonly confused words and pluralization rules. Utilizing spell-check tools and reading the essay aloud can help identify and correct spelling mistakes before submission.

Overall, while the essay shows a solid understanding of the topic and presents arguments clearly, improvements in vocabulary range, precision, and spelling will help elevate the Lexical Resource score. Engaging with a wider variety of vocabulary and practicing precise language usage will be beneficial for future essays.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For example, the use of complex sentences such as "While some people are of the idea that living in a city is beneficial to their daily lives, others claim that life in the countryside is significantly better" effectively conveys contrasting viewpoints. However, there are instances of repetitive structure, particularly in the way ideas are introduced and expanded upon, which can detract from the overall variety.
- How to improve: To enhance the diversity of sentence structures, the writer could incorporate more varied introductory phrases and clauses. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "On the one hand" and "On the other hand," the writer could use alternatives like "Conversely" or "In contrast." Additionally, integrating more relative clauses or participial phrases could add complexity to the writing.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains a good level of grammatical accuracy, with most sentences being clear and correctly structured. However, there are some grammatical errors and awkward phrases that affect clarity. For example, the phrase "students are offer with sufficient facilities" should be corrected to "students are offered sufficient facilities." Additionally, the sentence "the advantages of life in large cities outweigh benefits of life in the countryside" is missing an article before "benefits," which should read "the benefits." Punctuation is mostly accurate, but there are instances where commas could enhance readability, such as before conjunctions in compound sentences.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on proofreading for common errors, particularly with verb forms and articles. Practicing sentence restructuring can also help in identifying awkward phrases. Furthermore, reviewing punctuation rules, especially regarding the use of commas in complex sentences, can enhance clarity and flow.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid command of grammatical range and accuracy, focusing on diversifying sentence structures and refining grammatical precision will help the writer achieve a higher band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

In recent years, choosing between a developed city and the countryside as accommodation has sparked intense debates. While some people believe that living in a city is beneficial to their daily lives, others claim that life in the countryside is significantly better. This essay will discuss both sides and shed light on why I agree with the former viewpoint.

On the one hand, selecting a city as accommodation could provide individuals with a significant amount of amenities. Nowadays, the majority of shops and stores are located in developed cities. Therefore, looking for consumer goods in cities would be extremely easy for people. For instance, many shopping malls in Ha Noi, such as Aeon Mall and Big C, offer a vast number of global brands like Nike, Adidas, and Zara. This makes the demand to purchase items for citizens significantly simpler. Furthermore, the educational quality of developed cities is remarkably excellent. Due to the establishment of many schools and institutions in cities, parents have more choices in selecting a good school for their children. The governments have also invested significantly in improving infrastructure and teachers’ quality in large cities. Thus, students are offered sufficient facilities and superior education.

On the other hand, life in the countryside also confers some benefits upon residents. Choosing to live in suburban areas could reduce the risk of facing air pollution. In comparison with cities, the amount of carbon dioxide released from private vehicles in the countryside is negligible. Thus, this could lead to a lower risk of facing some health issues related to the lungs. Moreover, the costs of amenities in suburban areas are significantly lower compared with those in large cities. As the rental fees and taxes in the countryside are not as high as in developed cities, the prices of goods and services in the countryside are more affordable for most individuals. Consequently, life in the countryside might be more suitable for individuals with limited financial resources.

To sum up, even though life in both cities and the countryside has its own merits, I still lean towards living in large cities. I think that the advantages of life in large cities outweigh the benefits of life in the countryside, as cities could provide citizens with numerous amenities and good education. Even though life in the countryside could be beneficial for people in reducing the risk of air pollution and the expensive prices of goods, these advantages are insignificant compared to the benefits of life in large cities.