Some people believe that schoolchildren should not be given homework by their teachers, whereas others argue that homework plays an important role in the education of children. Discuss both of these views and give your own opinion.

It is thought that teachers should not give homework to their schoolchildren. While others argue that homework is crucial to academic growth of children. This essay will explore both perspectives and present a conclusion with my own opinion.

On the one hand, some people encourage the idea of giving children homework believe that homework provides opportunities for student to consolidate their knowledge which is gained previously in class. By doing homework, students can revise and practice their lessons at their own pace. When students complete their assignments, they are allowed to deepen and reflect their understanding more thoroughly.
Additionally, homework also plays a significant role in helping students hone their self-discipline and developing sense of responsibility. They need to self-arrange their own schedule and ensure they meet the deadline without the supervision from teaching staff. By this process, students might be characterized by independence, gradually transforming students into learners.

On the other hand, some people take the opposite view and believe that homework should not be assigned to schoolchildren. Young children might have time to develop comprehensively in terms of intellectual, physical, and emotional growth. For instance, Finland has minimized homework by adopting a "less is more" philosophy. Instead of doing homework, students are encouraged to learn through playtime, socializing and extracurricular activities. This ensures the overall development and Finland's education system is ranked as one of the most efficient education systems.
In conclusion, while some advocate for homework's efficacy, I firmly believe that its value depends on its application and context. Although homework can have many drawbacks, I still believe that homework brings many essential benefits and plays an integral part in gaining in-depth knowledge.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"It is thought that" -> "It is believed that"
Explanation: "It is believed that" is a more formal and precise expression, enhancing the academic tone of the sentence.
"schoolchildren" -> "students"
Explanation: "Students" is a more commonly used and accepted term in academic writing, replacing the less formal "schoolchildren."
"While others argue that" -> "While some argue that"
Explanation: "Some" is more precise and less vague than "others," which can imply a broader, undefined group.
"crucial to academic growth of children" -> "essential for the academic development of children"
Explanation: "Essential for the academic development of children" is more specific and academically appropriate than "crucial to academic growth," which is somewhat vague and less formal.
"some people encourage the idea of giving children homework believe that" -> "some argue that giving children homework"
Explanation: Removing "the idea of" simplifies and clarifies the sentence, making it more direct and formal.
"student to consolidate their knowledge" -> "students to consolidate their knowledge"
Explanation: Correcting "student" to "students" addresses the grammatical error and maintains consistency in subject-verb agreement.
"which is gained previously in class" -> "gained previously in class"
Explanation: Removing "which is" simplifies the phrase and avoids redundancy, improving the flow of the sentence.
"By doing homework, students can revise and practice their lessons at their own pace." -> "By completing homework, students can revise and practice their lessons at their own pace."
Explanation: "Completing" is a more precise verb than "doing" in this context, emphasizing the completion of the task rather than the act of doing it.
"They need to self-arrange their own schedule" -> "They must self-arrange their own schedules"
Explanation: "Must" is more forceful and formal than "need," and "schedules" is plural to match the context of multiple assignments.
"By this process, students might be characterized by independence" -> "Through this process, students may develop independence"
Explanation: "May develop" is more precise and less absolute than "might be characterized by," which is vague and less formal. "Develop" also implies a more active and ongoing process.
"gradually transforming students into learners" -> "gradually transforming them into learners"
Explanation: Removing "students" avoids redundancy and maintains the formal tone by using the pronoun "them" instead of repeating "students."
"Young children might have time to develop comprehensively" -> "Young children may have time to develop comprehensively"
Explanation: "May" is more appropriate than "might" in formal academic writing, as it implies possibility without the negative connotation of "might."
"Finland has minimized homework" -> "Finland has reduced homework"
Explanation: "Reduced" is a more precise term than "minimized," which can imply a complete elimination, which is not the case in this context.
"Instead of doing homework, students are encouraged to learn through playtime, socializing and extracurricular activities" -> "Instead of doing homework, students are encouraged to learn through playtime, socializing, and extracurricular activities"
Explanation: Adding a comma after "socializing" corrects the punctuation and maintains the formal tone by separating items in a list.
"I firmly believe that its value depends on its application and context" -> "I firmly believe that its value depends on its application and context."
Explanation: Adding a period after "context" corrects the punctuation, ensuring proper sentence structure and clarity.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both views regarding the role of homework in education. The first body paragraph presents arguments in favor of homework, highlighting its benefits for knowledge consolidation and self-discipline. The second body paragraph counters this by discussing the perspective that homework can hinder overall development, using Finland as a relevant example. However, the essay could improve by explicitly stating the opposing view more clearly in the introduction and ensuring that both sides are equally represented in terms of depth and detail.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should ensure that each viewpoint is given equal weight and detail. This could involve providing more examples or elaboration on the arguments against homework, as the current essay leans slightly more towards the benefits of homework. Additionally, the introduction could be revised to clearly outline both perspectives before diving into the discussion.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear position in the conclusion, stating that the value of homework depends on its application and context. However, the position could be more consistently reinforced throughout the essay. The initial paragraphs present arguments for and against homework, but the writer’s own opinion is somewhat diluted until the conclusion, which may confuse readers about the writer’s stance.
- How to improve: The writer should integrate their opinion more explicitly throughout the essay. This could be achieved by including transitional phrases that signal their viewpoint, such as "In my opinion," or "I believe that," when discussing both sides. This would help maintain a clear and consistent position throughout the essay.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas related to the benefits of homework, such as knowledge consolidation and self-discipline, and supports them with logical reasoning. However, the arguments against homework are less developed, particularly in terms of supporting details and examples. The mention of Finland is a strong point, but it could be expanded to include more about how this approach benefits students.
- How to improve: To improve the support for ideas, the writer should aim to provide more detailed examples and explanations for both sides of the argument. For instance, when discussing the drawbacks of homework, the writer could explore potential negative impacts on mental health or family time. This would create a more balanced discussion and enhance the depth of analysis.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, addressing the prompt effectively. However, there are moments where the focus could be sharper, particularly in the second body paragraph, where the discussion of Finland’s education system, while relevant, could be more directly tied back to the argument against homework.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that every point made directly relates back to the central question of homework’s role in education. This could involve explicitly linking the benefits or drawbacks of homework to the overall argument about its necessity or impact on students’ development.

In summary, while the essay achieves a strong band score of 8 for Task Response, it can be further improved by ensuring a more balanced representation of both sides, reinforcing the writer’s position throughout, providing more detailed support for ideas, and maintaining a sharper focus on the topic.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure, with an introduction that outlines the topic and states the intention to discuss both perspectives. Each viewpoint is addressed in separate paragraphs, which helps in maintaining a logical flow. However, the transition between the two viewpoints could be smoother. For example, the phrase "On the one hand" is effectively used, but the subsequent transition to "On the other hand" could benefit from a more explicit connection that highlights the contrast between the two views.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using transitional phrases that not only indicate a shift in perspective but also summarize the previous point. For instance, you might say, "While those in favor of homework argue for its benefits, opponents highlight the importance of holistic development without the burden of assignments."
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs effectively, with each paragraph focusing on a distinct idea. The first paragraph discusses the benefits of homework, while the second presents the opposing view. However, the concluding paragraph could be more clearly defined as a separate section, as it currently feels somewhat tacked on to the previous arguments.
- How to improve: Ensure that the conclusion is distinctly separated from the body paragraphs, both in terms of content and structure. You could start the conclusion with a clear signal, such as "In conclusion," and then summarize the key points made in the body before stating your opinion. This will reinforce the structure and make it easier for the reader to follow your argument.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable use of cohesive devices, such as "On the one hand," "On the other hand," and "Additionally." These phrases help to connect ideas within and between paragraphs. However, the essay could benefit from a wider variety of cohesive devices to enhance the flow and clarity of arguments. For instance, the use of more specific linking words (e.g., "Furthermore," "Moreover," "Conversely") could improve the connections between sentences and ideas.
- How to improve: To diversify cohesive devices, practice incorporating a range of linking words and phrases that serve different functions. For example, use "Furthermore" to add information, "Conversely" to present an opposing idea, and "Consequently" to indicate results. This will not only improve the essay’s cohesion but also demonstrate a higher level of language proficiency.

In summary, while the essay achieves a solid Band 7 score for coherence and cohesion, there are areas for improvement, particularly in enhancing transitions, clearly defining paragraph boundaries, and diversifying cohesive devices. By focusing on these aspects, the overall clarity and effectiveness of the argument can be significantly improved.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary relevant to the topic of education and homework. Phrases such as "academic growth," "self-discipline," and "overall development" illustrate an ability to articulate complex ideas. However, there are instances where vocabulary could be more varied. For example, the repeated use of "homework" could be substituted with synonyms like "assignments" or "out-of-class work" to enhance lexical variety.
- How to improve: To improve, the writer should aim to incorporate more synonyms and varied expressions throughout the essay. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "homework," consider using "academic tasks" or "educational assignments." Additionally, exploring phrases that convey similar meanings can help to avoid redundancy and enrich the essay’s vocabulary.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary accurately, but there are moments of imprecision that could lead to confusion. For example, the phrase "characterized by independence" is awkwardly constructed; it would be clearer to say "students may become more independent." Similarly, the phrase "developing sense of responsibility" should be "develop a sense of responsibility" for grammatical accuracy.
- How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should focus on grammatical structures and ensure that phrases are correctly formed. Practicing sentence construction and reviewing common collocations in English can help. Additionally, using a thesaurus to find more precise words can aid in conveying ideas more clearly.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains a few spelling errors, such as "student" instead of "students" in the phrase "for student to consolidate their knowledge," and "self-arrange" which is not a standard phrase in English. These errors detract from the overall professionalism of the writing.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, the writer should proofread the essay carefully before submission. Utilizing spell-check tools and reading the essay aloud can help catch errors. Additionally, practicing commonly misspelled words and familiarizing oneself with standard educational vocabulary can further enhance spelling skills.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid command of vocabulary with a band score of 7, there are areas for improvement in lexical variety, precision, and spelling accuracy. By incorporating more synonyms, refining grammatical structures, and enhancing proofreading practices, the writer can elevate their lexical resource score in future essays.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable variety of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For example, the use of complex sentences is evident in phrases like "While others argue that homework is crucial to academic growth of children" and "By doing homework, students can revise and practice their lessons at their own pace." However, there are instances where the sentence structures could be more varied or sophisticated. For example, the phrase "some people encourage the idea of giving children homework" could be rephrased to incorporate more advanced structures, such as passive voice or conditional clauses.
- How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, consider incorporating more complex sentences that use subordinate clauses or varied conjunctions. For example, instead of saying "students can revise and practice their lessons at their own pace," you could say, "students can revise and practice their lessons at their own pace, which allows them to better grasp the material." Additionally, experimenting with different sentence openings, such as starting with adverbial phrases or using inversion, can add sophistication to the writing.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that detract from its overall clarity. For instance, the phrase "some people encourage the idea of giving children homework believe that homework provides opportunities" is missing a conjunction or punctuation to separate the two independent clauses. Additionally, "the academic growth of children" should include "the" before "academic growth." There are also instances of awkward phrasing, such as "self-arrange their own schedule," which could be more clearly expressed as "organize their own schedule." Punctuation is generally accurate, but there are a few missing commas that could improve readability, such as before "which is gained previously in class."
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, it is essential to proofread the essay for sentence structure and clarity. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement, especially in complex sentences, and ensure that all clauses are properly connected. Additionally, reviewing punctuation rules can help in placing commas correctly, particularly in compound sentences and before conjunctions. Practicing with grammar exercises focused on common errors can also be beneficial. Lastly, consider reading the essay aloud to identify awkward phrases and improve overall flow.

By addressing these areas for improvement, the essay can achieve a higher band score in the Grammatical Range and Accuracy criteria.

Bài sửa mẫu

It is believed that teachers should not assign homework to their schoolchildren, while others argue that homework plays an important role in the education of children. This essay will explore both perspectives and present a conclusion with my own opinion.

On the one hand, some people who support the idea of giving children homework believe that it provides opportunities for students to consolidate their knowledge gained previously in class. By completing homework, students can revise and practice their lessons at their own pace. When students finish their assignments, they are able to deepen and reflect on their understanding more thoroughly. Additionally, homework plays a significant role in helping students hone their self-discipline and develop a sense of responsibility. They must self-arrange their own schedules and ensure they meet deadlines without supervision from teaching staff. Through this process, students may develop independence, gradually transforming them into learners.

On the other hand, some people take the opposite view and believe that homework should not be assigned to schoolchildren. Young children may benefit from having time to develop comprehensively in terms of intellectual, physical, and emotional growth. For instance, Finland has reduced homework by adopting a “less is more” philosophy. Instead of doing homework, students are encouraged to learn through playtime, socializing, and extracurricular activities. This approach ensures overall development, and Finland’s education system is ranked as one of the most efficient in the world.

In conclusion, while some advocate for the efficacy of homework, I firmly believe that its value depends on its application and context. Although homework can have many drawbacks, I still believe that it brings essential benefits and plays an integral part in gaining in-depth knowledge.