Some people ‌ eating junk food believe it is a positive trend, while others do not agree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Whether the consumption of fast food has advantageous effects on health or brings detrimental issues is still a matter of debate. While I can understand the argument of some people that junk food is causing more health problems, it is my opinion that this type of food makes life easier and more convenient.

On the one hand, fast food provides various benefits in modern life. Its convenience, affordability, and wide range of flavors make it a great option for busy people looking for a quick meal. To exemplify, busy parents who have to juggle work and household chores often prefer junk food as a convenient alternative for lunch and dinner. In addition, junk food also offers a wide array of food choices, which can be tailored to a dinner’s tastes and preferences. Whether one is a fan of hamburgers or pizzas, there is almost certainly a fast food court nearby offering something to eat.

While it may seem that fast food is beneficial in some ways, there are many drawbacks associated with the consumption of this type of food. Firstly, ready-to-go food puts the health of humans in jeopardy. It is easy to understand that fast food contains huge amounts of preservatives, chemicals, and artificial colors that are unhealthy and can lead to long-term health issues. For instance, consuming convenient food frequently is likely to lead to high cholesterol, obesity, high blood pressure, heart disease, and stroke. Finally, ordering fast food instead of preparing home-made dishes can cause young children to develop unhealthy eating habits, and suffer severe problems when they grow up.

In conclusion, while some argue that overeating junk food can be ascribed to several health issues, my view is that it should be seen as a bargain commodity in the hustle pace of life, due to its convenient utilization and affordable price.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"Whether the consumption of fast food has advantageous effects on health or brings detrimental issues" -> "Whether the consumption of fast food has beneficial effects on health or poses detrimental issues"
Explanation: Replacing "advantageous effects" with "beneficial effects" and "brings" with "poses" refines the language to be more precise and formal, aligning better with academic style.
"it is my opinion that this type of food makes life easier and more convenient" -> "I contend that this type of food simplifies and facilitates life"
Explanation: "I contend" is a more formal expression than "it is my opinion," and "simplifies and facilitates" are more precise and academically appropriate than "makes life easier and more convenient."
"its convenience, affordability, and wide range of flavors" -> "its convenience, affordability, and diverse flavor options"
Explanation: "Diverse flavor options" is a more precise and formal way to describe the variety of flavors offered by fast food, enhancing the academic tone.
"a great option for busy people looking for a quick meal" -> "an attractive option for individuals seeking a rapid meal"
Explanation: "Attractive option" and "individuals seeking" are more formal and precise, fitting better in an academic context than "great option" and "busy people looking for."
"junk food also offers a wide array of food choices" -> "junk food also provides a broad range of culinary options"
Explanation: "Provides a broad range of culinary options" is more formal and specific than "offers a wide array of food choices," aligning better with academic language.
"Whether one is a fan of hamburgers or pizzas" -> "regardless of whether one prefers hamburgers or pizzas"
Explanation: "Regardless of whether" is a more formal and precise way to introduce a conditional statement, improving the academic tone.
"it is easy to understand that fast food contains huge amounts of preservatives, chemicals, and artificial colors" -> "it is evident that fast food contains substantial amounts of preservatives, chemicals, and artificial colors"
Explanation: "It is evident" is a more formal expression than "it is easy to understand," and "substantial" is a more precise adjective than "huge," which is somewhat informal and vague.
"consuming convenient food frequently is likely to lead to high cholesterol, obesity, high blood pressure, heart disease, and stroke" -> "frequent consumption of convenient food may lead to conditions such as high cholesterol, obesity, high blood pressure, heart disease, and stroke"
Explanation: "Frequent consumption of convenient food may lead to conditions such as" is more precise and formal, avoiding the listing of specific diseases without proper context.
"ordering fast food instead of preparing home-made dishes can cause young children to develop unhealthy eating habits" -> "opting for fast food over preparing home-cooked meals may lead young children to develop unhealthy eating habits"
Explanation: "Opting for" and "home-cooked meals" are more formal and precise than "ordering" and "home-made dishes," and "may lead" is a more cautious and academically appropriate modal verb than "can."
"due to its convenient utilization and affordable price" -> "owing to its convenient use and affordable pricing"
Explanation: "Owing to" is a more formal transitional phrase than "due to," and "affordable pricing" is a more precise and formal term than "affordable price."

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay adequately discusses both views on the consumption of junk food, presenting arguments for its perceived benefits and drawbacks. It acknowledges that some people view junk food as beneficial due to convenience and affordability, while others highlight health risks associated with its consumption.
- How to improve: To enhance completeness, the essay could provide a more nuanced discussion by exploring counterarguments in greater depth. For instance, elaborating on specific health risks or societal implications of widespread junk food consumption would strengthen the analysis.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear stance favoring the convenience and practicality of junk food despite acknowledging health risks. This position is consistently supported throughout the essay with examples such as busy parents preferring fast food for its time-saving benefits.
- How to improve: To further strengthen clarity, ensuring that the introductory and concluding paragraphs explicitly state the author’s opinion and reinforce how each argument supports this position would be beneficial.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively presents ideas with examples such as the convenience of fast food for busy parents and the health risks associated with its consumption. Each idea is developed with relevant examples and explanations, offering a balanced view.
- How to improve: To enhance idea extension, providing more detailed examples or statistics regarding health impacts or societal trends related to junk food consumption could enrich the essay’s depth and analysis.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay remains largely focused on discussing the advantages and disadvantages of junk food consumption, as prompted by the question. It maintains relevance throughout, addressing both perspectives without significant deviation.
- How to improve: To ensure continued relevance, reviewing each paragraph to confirm that arguments directly relate to the central theme of junk food’s pros and cons would help maintain coherence and clarity.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the task requirements by addressing both sides of the argument while presenting a clear opinion. To achieve a higher score, further depth in argumentation, clearer statement of opinions, and more specific examples could be incorporated.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable level of logical organization. It begins with a clear introduction that outlines the topic and the writer’s opinion. Each body paragraph discusses one side of the argument in detail, first presenting the benefits of junk food and then addressing its drawbacks. The conclusion summarizes the writer’s opinion effectively.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, ensure that each paragraph maintains a clear focus on its respective argument. Consider using transition phrases more consistently to guide the reader through the essay’s structure.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay is adequately structured into paragraphs, with each one focusing on a distinct aspect of the topic. There is a clear introduction, two body paragraphs discussing different viewpoints, and a concluding paragraph summarizing the writer’s opinion.
- How to improve: To strengthen paragraphing, ensure that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that directly relates to the essay prompt. Additionally, aim for a more balanced length among paragraphs to maintain consistency throughout the essay.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs cohesive devices such as pronouns ("it", "this type of food"), conjunctions ("while", "firstly"), and transition words ("on the one hand", "finally") to link ideas within and between paragraphs. These devices contribute to the overall coherence of the essay.
- How to improve: Expand the variety of cohesive devices used, incorporating more sophisticated linking words and phrases ("however", "nevertheless", "in contrast") to create smoother transitions between ideas. This will further enhance the essay’s coherence and cohesion.

Overall, while the essay effectively addresses the prompt and presents a coherent argument, there is room for improvement in enhancing the logical progression of ideas, refining paragraph structure for better topic clarity, and diversifying the use of cohesive devices. These adjustments can help elevate the coherence and cohesion of future essays to potentially achieve a higher band score.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary. It effectively uses words like "advantageous," "detrimental," "convenience," "affordability," "preservatives," and "obesity." However, there is limited variation in vocabulary, and some phrases are repetitive (e.g., "convenient," "fast food").
- How to improve: To enhance lexical resource, consider incorporating more synonyms and varied expressions. For example, instead of repeatedly using "convenient," explore alternatives such as "time-saving" or "effortless." This can enrich the essay and demonstrate a wider lexical repertoire.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary accurately, though there are a few instances where the word choice could be more precise. For instance, the phrase "ready-to-go food" could be replaced with "pre-packaged meals" for clarity and precision.
- How to improve: Aim for precision by selecting words that precisely convey your intended meaning. Avoid vague or general terms where a more specific word could enhance clarity. Review each word choice to ensure it accurately reflects your intended message and context.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: Spelling is generally accurate throughout the essay, with minor errors such as "junk food" written as "junkfood" and "home-made" written as "home made." These errors do not significantly detract from understanding.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, consider proofreading carefully or using spell-check tools to catch minor errors. Pay attention to compound words and hyphenation rules to ensure consistency and correctness.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid grasp of vocabulary appropriate for an IELTS Band 6 score. Enhancing lexical variety and precision while maintaining spelling accuracy will further strengthen the Lexical Resource criterion.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of sentence structures, including complex and compound sentences. For example, it uses relative clauses ("who have to juggle work and household chores"), conditional structures ("Whether one is a fan of hamburgers or pizzas"), and balanced sentence constructions ("Its convenience, affordability, and wide range of flavors make it a great option…"). These structures enhance clarity and engagement with the topic.
- How to improve: To further diversify structures, consider incorporating more advanced grammatical forms such as passive constructions ("It is understood that fast food contains…"), inversion for emphasis ("Not only does fast food offer convenience…"), and varied introductory phrases or clauses to add complexity and sophistication to your arguments.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay maintains a good level of grammatical accuracy. However, there are a few instances where article usage could be improved ("a dinner’s tastes" should be "a diner’s tastes"). Punctuation is generally correct, though some sentences could benefit from clearer use of commas to aid readability.
- How to improve: Pay closer attention to articles (a, an, the) and ensure they are used correctly before nouns. Additionally, review comma usage rules, particularly around introductory phrases and clauses, and aim for consistency to avoid potential ambiguity.

This essay effectively uses a variety of sentence structures to articulate ideas clearly and logically, contributing to its Band 7 score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy. With continued attention to article usage and punctuation, the clarity and precision of your writing can be further enhanced.

Bài sửa mẫu

Whether the consumption of fast food has beneficial effects on health or poses detrimental issues is a contentious issue. While some argue that junk food exacerbates health problems, I believe that this type of food simplifies and facilitates life.

On the one hand, fast food offers several advantages in today’s society. Its convenience, affordability, and diverse flavor options make it an attractive option for individuals seeking a rapid meal. For example, busy parents balancing work and household responsibilities often opt for junk food as a convenient choice for lunch and dinner. Additionally, junk food provides a broad range of culinary options tailored to different tastes and preferences, whether one prefers hamburgers or pizzas.

However, despite its apparent benefits, fast food comes with significant drawbacks. It is evident that fast food contains substantial amounts of preservatives, chemicals, and artificial colors, which can lead to various health issues if consumed frequently. Conditions such as high cholesterol, obesity, high blood pressure, heart disease, and stroke are linked to the regular consumption of convenient food. Moreover, opting for fast food over preparing home-cooked meals may lead young children to develop unhealthy eating habits, which can have long-term consequences.

In conclusion, while some advocate for the convenience of junk food, it cannot be ignored that its frequent consumption may lead to serious health concerns. Nevertheless, I contend that in the fast-paced modern world, fast food serves as a practical solution due to its convenient use and affordable pricing. Thus, while moderation and awareness of its health implications are crucial, the role of fast food in contemporary lifestyles should be acknowledged.