some people feel that the legal age at which people can marry should be at least 21. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many individuals advocate for setting the minimum legal age for marriage at 21, a stance with which I wholeheartedly agree. There are several compelling reasons to support this perspective.
Firstly, marrying at a young age can pose significant financial challenges. Young couples often lack the necessary experience and financial stability to make important decisions such as purchasing a home or managing taxes. This can result in economic dependence on parents, leading to a loss of autonomy and self-confidence.
Moreover, getting married before the age of 21 may hinder educational opportunities. In some regions, young individuals marry early and forego further education, limiting their job prospects. Many employers today require candidates to have a college degree, making it essential for individuals to secure stable employment before considering marriage.
In conclusion, I firmly believe that setting the minimum marriage age at 21 is beneficial for individuals. It allows them to gain financial independence, pursue higher education, and establish a solid foundation for their future. By delaying marriage until this age, individuals can make more informed decisions and set themselves up for long-term success

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"Many individuals advocate for" -> "Many scholars and experts advocate for"
Explanation: Replacing "individuals" with "scholars and experts" adds specificity and authority to the statement, aligning better with academic discourse.
"a stance with which I wholeheartedly agree" -> "a stance with which I strongly concur"
Explanation: "Concur" is a more formal synonym for "agree," and "strongly" enhances the academic tone without being overly emotional.
"compelling reasons" -> "persuasive arguments"
Explanation: "Persuasive arguments" is a more precise term in academic writing, emphasizing the strength of the reasoning rather than the emotional appeal of "compelling reasons."
"marrying at a young age" -> "entering into marriage at a young age"
Explanation: "Entering into marriage" is a more formal and precise phrase than "marrying," which is somewhat colloquial.
"lack the necessary experience and financial stability" -> "lack the requisite experience and financial stability"
Explanation: "Requisite" is a more formal synonym for "necessary," enhancing the academic tone.
"make important decisions such as purchasing a home" -> "make significant decisions such as acquiring a residence"
Explanation: "Acquiring a residence" is a more formal and precise term than "purchasing a home," which is somewhat informal.
"leading to a loss of autonomy and self-confidence" -> "resulting in diminished autonomy and self-confidence"
Explanation: "Resulting in" is a more formal transitional phrase than "leading to," and "diminished" is a more precise term than "loss."
"getting married before the age of 21" -> "entering into marriage before the age of 21"
Explanation: Similar to earlier, "entering into marriage" is more formal and precise than "getting married."
"forego further education" -> "forfeit further education"
Explanation: "Forfeit" is a more formal and precise term than "forego" in this context, indicating a deliberate choice to give up something.
"making it essential for individuals to secure stable employment" -> "rendering it crucial for individuals to secure stable employment"
Explanation: "Rendering it crucial" is a more formal expression than "making it essential," which is slightly less formal.
"setting the minimum marriage age at 21" -> "establishing a minimum marriage age of 21"
Explanation: "Establishing a minimum marriage age of 21" is more formal and precise, specifying the action and the number directly.
"allows them to gain financial independence" -> "enables them to achieve financial independence"
Explanation: "Enables" is a more formal synonym for "allows," and "achieve" is a more precise verb than "gain" in this context.
"pursue higher education" -> "pursue advanced education"
Explanation: "Advanced education" is a more formal term than "higher education," which is somewhat general.
"establish a solid foundation for their future" -> "lay a solid foundation for their future"
Explanation: "Lay" is a more formal verb than "establish" in this context, fitting better in academic writing.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Task Response: 5 – UNDER WORD

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing reasons why setting the minimum legal age for marriage at 21 is advantageous. It touches upon financial stability, educational opportunities, and overall maturity needed for marriage.
- How to improve: While the essay does cover the main aspects of the argument, it could benefit from expanding on potential counterarguments or alternative viewpoints to demonstrate a deeper engagement with the topic.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear stance throughout, stating unequivocally that the legal age for marriage should be 21 and supporting this with reasons in each paragraph.
- How to improve: To enhance clarity, ensure that each paragraph consistently reinforces and directly relates back to the central argument of delaying marriage until the age of 21. Avoid any ambiguous statements that may dilute the essay’s stance.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The ideas presented are generally well-developed, with each reason (financial challenges, educational opportunities, and long-term planning) elaborated upon in separate paragraphs. Examples such as economic dependence and educational limitations provide specific support.
- How to improve: To strengthen the essay, consider providing more detailed examples or hypothetical scenarios that illustrate the consequences of early marriage more vividly. This can further bolster the persuasive impact of each argument.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains focus on the topic throughout, discussing the implications of setting the legal marriage age at 21 without significant deviation.
- How to improve: To ensure complete relevance, double-check that each paragraph directly contributes to supporting the central thesis of delaying marriage until the age of 21. Avoid any tangential discussions that do not directly relate to the main argument.

Overall, while the essay effectively argues in favor of setting the minimum legal age for marriage at 21 and provides coherent reasoning supported by examples, there is room for improvement in expanding the depth of analysis, reinforcing clarity of position, and ensuring complete adherence to the prompt throughout the essay. These refinements will help elevate the essay to a higher band score by enhancing both the depth of argumentation and the coherence of its presentation.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 8

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a high level of logical organization. Each paragraph is clearly focused on supporting the stance that the legal age for marriage should be at least 21. The introduction sets the stage by clearly stating the writer’s position, followed by body paragraphs that each present a distinct reason with supporting details (financial challenges and hindering educational opportunities). The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points without introducing new ideas.
- How to improve: To further enhance logical flow, consider explicitly linking ideas between paragraphs. While each paragraph is cohesive within itself, stronger transitions could strengthen the overall coherence. For instance, using transitional phrases such as "Furthermore" or "In addition" can help connect the arguments more explicitly.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to structure its arguments. Each paragraph focuses on a single main idea: financial challenges of young marriage, hindering of educational opportunities, and benefits of delaying marriage until age 21. The topic sentences are clear, guiding the reader through the essay’s logical progression.
- How to improve: To improve paragraph effectiveness, ensure that each paragraph maintains unity and coherence. Consider varying sentence structure and length to maintain reader engagement. Additionally, reviewing the conclusion paragraph to ensure it succinctly reinforces the main points would further enhance paragraphing.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: Cohesive devices such as linking words (e.g., "Firstly", "Moreover", "In conclusion") and cohesive ties (e.g., "this", "these", "it") are effectively used throughout the essay. These devices help connect ideas within and between sentences, enhancing the overall coherence.
- How to improve: To broaden the range of cohesive devices, consider incorporating more complex devices such as adverbial phrases ("On the other hand", "Nevertheless") or using parallel structure to emphasize key points. This will further strengthen the essay’s coherence and cohesion.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a strong grasp of coherence and cohesion, focusing on explicit transitions between paragraphs and expanding the range of cohesive devices could elevate the organization and clarity of the arguments presented.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary relevant to the topic of marriage age and its implications. For instance, phrases like "economic dependence," "autonomy," "job prospects," and "financial independence" are effectively used to discuss various aspects of the issue.
- How to improve: To further enhance lexical resource, consider incorporating more specialized vocabulary or nuanced expressions. For example, instead of "financial challenges," using terms like "economic hurdles" or "financial obstacles" could add depth. Additionally, introducing idiomatic expressions or domain-specific terminology related to economics or sociology could enrich the vocabulary further.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary appropriately, although there are a few instances where more precise language could be employed. For example, the phrase "economic dependence" is apt, but specifying it further with terms like "financial reliance" or "dependency on parental support" could enhance clarity and precision.
- How to improve: Aim to use vocabulary that precisely conveys the intended meaning without ambiguity. Consider consulting a thesaurus to explore synonyms that offer exact shades of meaning. This approach can help avoid repetition and ensure each word contributes distinctly to the essay’s coherence and depth.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: Spelling accuracy in the essay is generally sound, with no glaring errors detracting from readability. Common words and terminology related to the topic are correctly spelled throughout.
- How to improve: To maintain this standard and further improve accuracy, continue practicing spelling through regular writing exercises and proofreading. Utilize spell-check tools effectively but also develop an eye for common pitfalls such as homophones (e.g., "their" vs. "there") and commonly misspelled words (e.g., "necessary," "opportunities").

In conclusion, while the essay effectively meets the criteria for a Band 6 score in Lexical Resource, further enriching vocabulary with nuanced expressions and ensuring precise usage can elevate the quality of expression and depth of analysis. Continued focus on spelling accuracy will also contribute to maintaining a professional and polished presentation.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures. It utilizes complex sentences (e.g., "Many individuals advocate for setting the minimum legal age for marriage at 21, a stance with which I wholeheartedly agree"), compound sentences ("This can result in economic dependence on parents, leading to a loss of autonomy and self-confidence"), and effectively integrates transitions ("Firstly," "Moreover," "In conclusion"). These structures enhance coherence and demonstrate a sophisticated command of sentence construction.
- How to improve: While the essay already employs a wide range of structures effectively, further diversity could be introduced by incorporating rhetorical questions, conditional sentences, or passive voice constructions where appropriate. This would add additional nuance and variety to the essay’s expression.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a high level of grammatical accuracy. Complex grammatical structures are handled proficiently, with minimal errors in subject-verb agreement, tense consistency, and sentence formation. For instance, "Young couples often lack the necessary experience and financial stability" showcases correct usage of verb tense and subject agreement. Punctuation is generally used appropriately to enhance clarity and readability.
- How to improve: To further enhance accuracy, attention can be paid to the correct usage of articles (a, an, the) and ensuring consistency in punctuation marks such as commas and semicolons. For example, ensuring that all series of items are punctuated consistently ("financial independence, pursue higher education, and establish a solid foundation for their future").

Overall, the essay effectively utilizes a diverse range of sentence structures to convey its argument clearly and cohesively. Grammatical accuracy is maintained at a high level throughout, contributing to the essay’s overall Band Score of 8.

Bài sửa mẫu

Many scholars and experts advocate for establishing a minimum legal marriage age of 21, a stance with which I strongly concur. There are persuasive arguments supporting this viewpoint.

Entering into marriage at a young age can bring about significant challenges, particularly concerning financial stability. Young couples often lack the requisite experience and financial means to make important decisions such as acquiring a residence or managing financial obligations like taxes. This can result in diminished autonomy and self-confidence, as they may become economically reliant on their parents.

Furthermore, marrying before the age of 21 can impact educational opportunities. In certain regions, young individuals who marry early may forfeit further education, which in turn limits their career prospects. Many employers nowadays require candidates to possess a college degree, underscoring the necessity for individuals to secure stable employment before contemplating marriage.

In conclusion, I firmly believe that establishing a minimum marriage age of 21 is crucial. It enables individuals to achieve financial independence, pursue advanced education, and lay a solid foundation for their future. By delaying marriage until this age, individuals can make more informed decisions that set them on a path toward long-term success.