Some people focus on news in their country, while others think it is more important to be aware of international news. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

People hold varied contentions as to whether they should be more cognizant of global news rather than national news. Despite some incontrovertible benefits of global news, I would argue that the focus on news in our nation can result in greater advantage at large.
Granted, catching up with the world news can broaden our horizons, given that individuals can take in the latest knowledge in the world. For example, reading international news provides readers with human rights, gender equity, poverty alleviation, and so on. This, therefore, motivates individuals to be more responsible, rendering the future of the world better. Furthermore, being well-equipped with global news will prevent people from promulgating misinformation and disinformation about global issues. Given the adequate information they have read before about the world, their critical thinking towards fake world news on social media is stronger. Thus, they will not believe or disseminate this distorted news carelessly.
On the other hand, reading news about our country is more practical than reading the international ones. This is because national news enables citizens to be aware of the contemporary issues in their areas. An illustration of this is the case of local COVID-19 updates in Vietnam during the pandemic. Thanks to this neighbor update, dwellers could know their possibilities of being infected and, consequently, stay in quarantine proactively. This example is a testament to the practicability of reading local news as it can be a warning for most people. Additionally, possessing enough information about our country can be a foundation for acquiring international news. The readers can connect and compare these pieces of information, and as a result, they can filter what kinds of global news are essential for them.
In conclusion, both the aforementioned types of news can bring about a positive impact on our lives. However, I am convinced that we should concentrate on the news in our country owing to its practicability and base for picking up international news.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

"varied contentions" -> "varied opinions"
Explanation: "Contentions" is not the most appropriate word choice here. "Opinions" is clearer and more commonly used in academic writing.
"cognizant" -> "aware"
Explanation: "Cognizant" is somewhat formal and could be replaced with a simpler synonym like "aware" for clearer communication in this context.
"incontrovertible benefits" -> "undeniable benefits"
Explanation: "Incontrovertible" is a more complex term. "Undeniable" is a suitable alternative that maintains the formal tone.
"result in greater advantage at large" -> "result in broader advantages"
Explanation: "Advantage at large" is an unusual phrase. "Broader advantages" is a clearer and more concise expression.
"take in the latest knowledge" -> "acquire the latest information"
Explanation: "Take in" is a colloquial expression. "Acquire" is a more suitable term for formal writing.
"This, therefore, motivates individuals to be more responsible, rendering the future of the world better." -> "This motivates individuals to be more responsible, thereby improving the future of the world."
Explanation: The sentence structure is clarified by removing the comma splice and reorganizing the sequence of ideas.
"promulgating misinformation and disinformation" -> "spreading misinformation and disinformation"
Explanation: "Promulgating" is a formal term that can be replaced with the more common "spreading" without losing the intended meaning.
"Given the adequate information they have read before about the world" -> "With the sufficient information they have acquired about global issues"
Explanation: The phrase is reworded for clarity and to avoid awkward phrasing.
"carelessly" -> "thoughtlessly"
Explanation: "Carelessly" can be replaced with a more precise synonym like "thoughtlessly" to maintain formality.
"is more practical than" -> "is more beneficial than"
Explanation: "Practical" can imply usefulness; "beneficial" is a stronger word for emphasizing advantages.
"An illustration of this is the case of local COVID-19 updates in Vietnam during the pandemic." -> "For instance, consider the local COVID-19 updates in Vietnam during the pandemic."
Explanation: This change enhances the transitional clarity and formal structure of the sentence.
"Thanks to this neighbor update" -> "Thanks to these local updates"
Explanation: "Neighbor update" is unclear and should be replaced with "local updates" for precision.
"dwellers" -> "residents"
Explanation: "Dwellers" is less formal; "residents" is a more appropriate term.
"stay in quarantine proactively" -> "proactively adhere to quarantine measures"
Explanation: This revision makes the statement more precise and suitable for formal writing.
"is a testament to the practicability of reading local news" -> "highlights the practicality of staying informed through local news"
Explanation: Rewording for clarity and to avoid repetition of "practicability."
"owing to its practicability and base for picking up international news" -> "due to its practicality and role as a foundation for understanding international news"
Explanation: This change clarifies the relationship between reading local news and accessing international news, using more precise language.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay adequately addresses both perspectives outlined in the prompt. It discusses the importance of being aware of global news for broadening perspectives and fostering responsible behavior, while also highlighting the practicality and relevance of focusing on national news. Specific examples, such as human rights issues and local COVID-19 updates, are provided to support these points.
- How to improve: While the essay covers both views, a more thorough exploration of the implications and advantages of each perspective could enhance the depth of analysis. Providing additional examples or discussing potential drawbacks of prioritizing one type of news over the other could further enrich the response.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position favoring the importance of focusing on news within one’s own country. This stance is consistently articulated throughout the essay, with the writer expressing a preference for national news due to its practicality and role as a foundation for understanding international news.
- How to improve: To strengthen clarity, the writer could reinforce their position by explicitly stating their opinion in the introduction and conclusion, thereby leaving no room for ambiguity regarding their stance.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively presents ideas and supports them with relevant examples and reasoning. The argument is well-developed, with each paragraph dedicated to discussing a specific aspect of the topic. Examples, such as the impact of global news on critical thinking and the practicality of local news during the pandemic, are used to illustrate key points.
- How to improve: To further extend ideas, the writer could explore potential counterarguments or alternative perspectives. This could involve anticipating and addressing potential objections to their argument, thereby demonstrating a more nuanced understanding of the topic.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay largely stays on topic, discussing the importance of both national and international news as outlined in the prompt. However, there are instances where the discussion slightly deviates, such as the emphasis on critical thinking skills in relation to global news.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that all points made directly relate to the topic of whether national or international news is more important. This may involve refraining from tangential discussions or clearly connecting them back to the central argument.

Overall, while the essay effectively addresses the prompt and presents a coherent argument, there is room for further refinement in terms of depth of analysis and staying closely aligned with the topic. Strengthening these aspects could lead to a more comprehensive and persuasive response.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable level of logical organization. It effectively introduces the topic, presents arguments supporting both views, and concludes with a clear opinion. Each paragraph focuses on a distinct aspect of the topic, enhancing clarity and coherence. For instance, the first body paragraph discusses the advantages of being aware of global news, followed by a paragraph highlighting the benefits of focusing on national news. This logical progression aids in the reader’s understanding of the author’s perspective.
- How to improve: While the essay maintains logical organization overall, there is room for improvement in transitions between paragraphs. Consider using transitional phrases or sentences to establish smoother connections between ideas and enhance the flow of the essay. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph’s topic sentence clearly introduces the main idea to guide the reader effectively.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively employs paragraphs to organize ideas and maintain coherence. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the topic, contributing to the overall structure of the essay. Additionally, the paragraphs exhibit unity and coherence, with clear topic sentences and supporting details. For example, the second body paragraph discusses the practicality of reading national news, providing a relevant example to support the argument.
- How to improve: To further enhance paragraphing, ensure that each paragraph contains a clear topic sentence that encapsulates the main idea. Additionally, strive for consistency in paragraph length to create a visually appealing and balanced essay structure. Consider breaking longer paragraphs into shorter ones to improve readability and emphasize key points effectively.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates effective use of cohesive devices to connect ideas and maintain coherence. Cohesive devices such as transition words (e.g., "furthermore," "on the other hand") and pronouns (e.g., "this," "these") are employed throughout the essay to link sentences and paragraphs. For instance, transitional phrases like "on the other hand" help to introduce contrasting viewpoints, facilitating smooth transitions between ideas. Additionally, the use of cohesive devices enhances the overall cohesion of the essay, ensuring that the reader can follow the author’s argumentation easily.
- How to improve: While the essay utilizes cohesive devices appropriately, expanding the variety of cohesive devices used can further improve cohesion. Incorporate a broader range of transition words and phrases to add nuance and sophistication to the essay’s structure. Additionally, pay attention to the consistent use of pronouns and other referencing devices to avoid ambiguity and strengthen coherence further.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable breadth of vocabulary, incorporating terms such as "cognizant," "incontrovertible," "equity," "alleviation," "promulgating," "disinformation," "distorted," "practicability," and "foundation," among others. These choices indicate an attempt to convey nuanced ideas and exhibit a diverse lexical repertoire.
- How to improve: While the essay showcases a solid range of vocabulary, there is room to incorporate more sophisticated and contextually fitting terminology. To enhance lexical diversity further, consider utilizing synonyms, idiomatic expressions, or domain-specific vocabulary where appropriate. Additionally, strive for precision in word choice to effectively convey nuanced meanings.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally employs vocabulary with reasonable precision, effectively communicating ideas. For instance, phrases like "focus on news in our nation," "broaden our horizons," and "contemporary issues" are used appropriately to convey specific meanings.
- How to improve: To refine precision in vocabulary usage, aim to avoid repetition of terms and explore alternative expressions to convey the same concept. Additionally, pay attention to subtle differences in meaning between synonyms and select the most suitable word for the intended context. Engaging with a variety of texts across different subjects can also aid in expanding and refining vocabulary usage.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a generally accurate level of spelling, with minimal errors observed throughout the text. Notable examples include correct spellings of words like "incontrovertible," "possibilities," and "practicability."
- How to improve: To maintain a high standard of spelling accuracy, consider employing spell-check tools or proofreading techniques to identify and rectify any spelling errors. Additionally, developing a habit of actively engaging with written materials and paying attention to spelling patterns can contribute to further improving spelling proficiency. Regular practice through writing exercises or quizzes focusing on commonly misspelled words may also be beneficial.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures. For instance, it employs complex sentences such as "Despite some incontrovertible benefits of global news, I would argue that the focus on news in our nation can result in greater advantage at large." This complexity enhances readability and engagement. Additionally, there is proficient use of conditional structures ("Given the adequate information they have read before about the world, their critical thinking towards fake world news on social media is stronger"), which adds depth to the argumentation.
- How to improve: While the essay showcases a diverse range of sentence structures, further incorporation of compound-complex sentences and varied introductory phrases could elevate the sophistication of expression. Experimenting with rhetorical devices such as parallelism and chiasmus could also enhance the rhetorical flair of the essay.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay demonstrates a high level of grammatical accuracy. However, there are a few instances where minor errors occur, such as missing articles ("…given that individuals can take in the latest knowledge in the world"). Additionally, some sentences could benefit from clearer punctuation for improved readability and flow.
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, it is advisable to review the use of articles in English sentences, ensuring that they are appropriately included where needed. Moreover, paying attention to punctuation, particularly the use of commas to separate clauses and phrases, can help refine the coherence and clarity of the essay. A thorough proofreading session focusing on these aspects can significantly elevate the overall polish of the writing.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a strong command of grammatical range and accuracy, refining sentence structures and ensuring meticulous attention to detail in punctuation and article usage can further enhance the clarity and sophistication of expression, potentially pushing the score towards the higher band.

Bài sửa mẫu

People have varied opinions regarding whether they should prioritize global news over national news. Despite the undeniable benefits of staying informed about global affairs, I believe that focusing on news within our own country can result in broader advantages overall.

Admittedly, keeping up with international news can expand our understanding of the world, allowing individuals to acquire the latest information on a range of topics. For instance, reading about global issues such as human rights, gender equality, and poverty alleviation can motivate individuals to be more responsible, thereby improving the future of the world. Moreover, staying informed about global news can help prevent the spread of misinformation and disinformation, as individuals who are well-informed are less likely to unknowingly propagate false information on social media platforms.

However, the practicality of being aware of news within our own country cannot be overlooked. For example, during the COVID-19 pandemic, staying updated on local developments in Vietnam allowed residents to proactively adhere to quarantine measures. This highlights the practical importance of staying informed through local news, as it directly impacts individuals’ daily lives and decisions. Additionally, having a solid understanding of national news serves as a foundation for understanding international news. By first gaining knowledge about local issues, readers can better connect and contextualize global events, enabling them to filter and prioritize the international news that is most relevant to them.

In conclusion, both global and national news have their merits and can positively impact our lives. However, I believe that focusing on news within our own country is more beneficial due to its practicality and role as a foundation for understanding international news. By staying informed about local issues, individuals can make more informed decisions and contribute to positive change on both a local and global scale.