Some people regard students should be allowed to use smartphone as a learning tool during the lesson. Others, however, believe that it is has a negative impact on student learning in the classroom. What is your opinion? To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people regard students should be allowed to use smartphone as a learning tool during the lesson. Others, however, believe that it is has a negative impact on student learning in the classroom. What is your opinion?
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Opinions are divided on whether school canals should completely prohibited students to use smart phone during the lesson. Others believe that advanced technology can facilitate the educating progress. I will analyse both viewpoints and high line the advantages of modern equipment.

One might argue that telephones should be banned in school environment. This is predicted on the assumption that it could drawbacks toward young students due to its detrimental pose a serious threat on school children’s concentration, leading to diminish in their academic performances. Online games and social media can distract them from subjects that the foundational of rotefication attract their attention. The reliance on smart phones enables to be more susceptible to psychological problems such as short-sighted eyes, boredom, fatigue and distress. For example, those who spend abundant energy playing games will be addictive and no longer favour to teaching subjects. The harness using phone also would loose close friendships and reduce the bond between teachers, resulting in lacking ambition and motivation, therefore, school should not allow students to use phone in site class.

However, it is difficult to address totally commenduns and requires a powerful policy to implement. By turning off apps notification, students may focus on studying. Despite the negatives mentioned above, the indisputable benefits of smart phone can yield the better studying methods. The model’s ability to brainstorming ideas, analysing details and providing significant information can allow young people to save time finishing missions. AI technology can also create many useful powerpoint slides and recommend various perspectives for teachers to educate effectively. This efficiency fosters their individual’s potential skills toward science such as coding, research skill and problem-solving skill. Furthermore, bringing A harness phone could help students adivin an emergency that they might telephone parent or agency when facing unexpected situations. Smartphones have positive impact on interpersonal development and boost raise living standards.

In conclusion, the fact that overuse smartphone has some disadvantages, otherwise, we still resolve by restricting. Have screen. The potentiality of AI such as chat GPT can promote, instead of fully prohibiting it. AI such as chatGPT can promote learners to boost high productivity and interest children’s attitude that traditional purposes unused to help.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

1. "school canals" -> "school authorities"
   Explanation: "School canals" is a typographical error and does not make sense in this context. "School authorities" is the correct term, referring to the administrators or decision-makers in a school setting.

2. "completely prohibited" -> "completely prohibit"
   Explanation: The verb "prohibit" should be in its base form to match the passive construction "should be prohibited," enhancing grammatical correctness and formal tone.

3. "advanced technology can facilitate the educating progress" -> "advanced technology can facilitate educational progress"
   Explanation: "Educating progress" is an awkward and incorrect term. "Educational progress" is the correct phrase, which refers to the advancement of education.

4. "high line the advantages" -> "highlight the advantages"
   Explanation: "High line" is incorrect and unclear. "Highlight" is the correct verb, which means to draw attention to or emphasize.

5. "telephones should be banned in school environment" -> "telephones should be banned from school environments"
   Explanation: "In school environment" is grammatically incorrect. "From school environments" is the correct prepositional phrase, indicating exclusion from a place or context.

6. "it could drawbacks toward young students" -> "it could have drawbacks for young students"
   Explanation: "Drawbacks toward" is grammatically incorrect. "Drawbacks for" is the correct prepositional phrase, indicating the impact on someone or something.

7. "detrimental pose a serious threat on school children’s concentration" -> "pose a serious threat to schoolchildren’s concentration"
   Explanation: "On" is incorrect in this context; "to" is the correct preposition. Additionally, "school children" should be "schoolchildren" for grammatical correctness.

8. "leading to diminish in their academic performances" -> "leading to a decline in their academic performance"
   Explanation: "Diminish" is not the correct term here; "decline" is more appropriate to describe a decrease in performance. Also, "performance" should be singular to match the singular subject "academic."

9. "Online games and social media can distract them from subjects that the foundational of rotefication attract their attention" -> "Online games and social media can distract them from the fundamental subjects that rotefication attracts their attention"
   Explanation: "The foundational of rotefication" is unclear and grammatically incorrect. "The fundamental subjects" is a clearer and more accurate phrase.

10. "The reliance on smart phones enables to be more susceptible" -> "The reliance on smartphones makes them more susceptible"
    Explanation: "Enables to be" is awkward and incorrect. "Makes them more susceptible" is grammatically correct and clearer.

11. "short-sighted eyes" -> "short-sightedness"
    Explanation: "Short-sighted eyes" is incorrect; "short-sightedness" is the correct term for a medical condition.

12. "harness using phone" -> "use of phones"
    Explanation: "Harness using phone" is awkward and unclear. "Use of phones" is a clearer and more formal expression.

13. "loose close friendships" -> "lose close friendships"
    Explanation: "Loose" is the wrong word; "lose" is the correct verb to indicate the loss of something.

14. "lack of ambition and motivation" -> "lack of ambition and motivation"
    Explanation: This is a typographical error; the word "lack" should not be repeated.

15. "commenduns" -> "comprehensive"
    Explanation: "Commenduns" is a typographical error; "comprehensive" is the correct term, meaning complete and thorough.

16. "turning off apps notification" -> "turning off app notifications"
    Explanation: "Apps notification" is grammatically incorrect; "app notifications" is the correct form.

17. "The model’s ability to brainstorming ideas" -> "The model’s ability to brainstorm ideas"
    Explanation: "Brainstorming" is a gerund and should not be followed by the possessive form "model’s."

18. "AI technology can also create many useful powerpoint slides" -> "AI technology can also create many useful PowerPoint slides"
    Explanation: "Powerpoint" should be capitalized as it refers to a specific software application, and "slides" should be in lowercase as it is a common noun.

19. "recommend various perspectives for teachers to educate effectively" -> "provide various perspectives for teachers to educate effectively"
    Explanation: "Recommend" is not the correct verb in this context; "provide" is more accurate for describing the action of giving or offering information.

20. "bring A harness phone" -> "bring a phone with a harness"
    Explanation: "A harness phone" is unclear and grammatically incorrect. "A phone with a harness" is clearer and grammatically correct.

21. "adivin an emergency" -> "advise in an emergency"
    Explanation: "Adivin" is a typographical error; "advise" is the correct verb.

22. "boost raise living standards" -> "boost living standards"
    Explanation: "Raise" is redundant when used with "boost," which already implies an increase. "Boost living standards" is sufficient and clearer.

23. "overuse smartphone has some disadvantages, otherwise, we still resolve by restricting" -> "overuse of smartphones has some disadvantages, but we can still resolve this by restricting"
    Explanation: "Otherwise" is incorrectly used; "but" is the correct conjunction for contrasting ideas. Also, "resolve by restricting" is awkward; "resolve this by restricting" is clearer and more formal.

24. "Have screen" -> "screen time"
    Explanation: "Have screen" is awkward and unclear; "screen time" is a standard term in the context of technology usage.

25. "AI such as chatGPT can promote learners to boost high productivity" -> "AI such as ChatGPT can promote high productivity among learners"
    Explanation: "Promote learners to boost high productivity" is awkward and grammatically incorrect. "Promote high productivity among learners" is clearer and more formal.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Task Response: 5

• Answer All Parts of the Question:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to address both sides of the argument regarding the use of smartphones in education. However, it does not fully engage with the prompt, particularly the requirement to state a clear opinion on the extent of agreement or disagreement. The phrase "I will analyse both viewpoints" suggests an intention to discuss rather than to take a definitive stance. The conclusion also lacks clarity regarding the writer’s position, making it difficult to ascertain their viewpoint.
  • How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should explicitly state their opinion in the introduction and reinforce it throughout the essay. A clear thesis statement indicating the extent of agreement or disagreement would provide a stronger foundation for the argument.

• Present a Clear Position Throughout:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents conflicting viewpoints but lacks a consistent position. The introduction hints at an analysis of both sides, but the conclusion does not clearly reflect the writer’s stance. Phrases like "the fact that overuse smartphone has some disadvantages" do not decisively convey agreement or disagreement.
  • How to improve: The writer should maintain a clear position throughout the essay. This can be achieved by consistently referring back to their initial stance in each paragraph and summarizing it in the conclusion. Using phrases like "I strongly believe" or "I partially agree" can help clarify their position.

• Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

  • Detailed explanation: While the essay presents some ideas, they are often underdeveloped and lack sufficient support. For example, the argument about the negative impact of smartphones on concentration is mentioned but not thoroughly explored. Additionally, the examples provided, such as addiction to games, are vague and do not convincingly support the claims made.
  • How to improve: To strengthen the essay, the writer should aim to elaborate on each point with specific examples and evidence. For instance, citing studies or statistics about smartphone use in education could bolster the argument. Each idea should be clearly linked to the thesis and expanded upon to demonstrate its significance.

• Stay on Topic:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay occasionally deviates from the main topic, particularly in the second paragraph where the discussion of psychological problems and social issues feels somewhat tangential. While these points relate to the negative aspects of smartphone use, they do not directly address the educational context as required by the prompt.
  • How to improve: The writer should ensure that all points made are directly relevant to the topic of smartphone use in education. Staying focused on how smartphones can either aid or hinder learning will help maintain relevance. Using a structured outline before writing can help keep the discussion on track.

In summary, to improve the essay and potentially raise the band score, the writer should clarify their position, develop their ideas with specific examples, and ensure that all content remains relevant to the prompt.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

• Organize Information Logically:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to present both sides of the argument regarding the use of smartphones in the classroom. The introduction outlines the intent to analyze both viewpoints and highlight the advantages of modern equipment. The body paragraphs are divided into arguments against and for the use of smartphones. However, the logical flow is somewhat disrupted by unclear transitions and occasional off-topic sentences. For instance, the sentence "However, it is difficult to address totally commenduns and requires a powerful policy to implement" in the second body paragraph does not logically follow from the preceding content and introduces a new idea without proper context.
  • How to improve: To enhance logical organization, ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea that directly supports the thesis. Use clear topic sentences and ensure that each sentence within a paragraph logically follows from the previous one. Avoid introducing new ideas abruptly and ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs.

• Use Paragraphs:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay is divided into paragraphs, each aiming to discuss a specific aspect of the argument. However, the paragraphing could be more effective. The first body paragraph is somewhat lengthy and contains multiple ideas that could be better separated for clarity. The conclusion is also fragmented and does not cohesively summarize the main points.
  • How to improve: Break down lengthy paragraphs into smaller, more focused ones. Each paragraph should contain a single main idea supported by relevant details. Ensure that the conclusion effectively summarizes the key points discussed in the essay and reinforces the thesis without introducing new information.

• Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices such as "One might argue," "However," and "In conclusion." However, the use of cohesive devices is inconsistent and sometimes awkward. For example, "This is predicted on the assumption that it could drawbacks toward young students" is not a clear or effective use of cohesion. Additionally, phrases like "the harness using phone" and "bringing A harness phone" are confusing and disrupt the flow.
  • How to improve: To improve the use of cohesive devices, focus on using a variety of linking words and phrases appropriately to connect ideas smoothly. Practice using conjunctions, adverbs, and transitional phrases to enhance the flow of the essay. Ensure that each cohesive device used is clear and contributes to the overall coherence of the text.

By addressing these areas, the essay can achieve a more coherent and cohesive structure, which is essential for a higher band score in the Coherence and Cohesion criterion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

• Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms such as "detrimental," "facilitate," and "interpersonal development." However, there are instances of repetition and limited variation. For example, the term "smartphone" is used frequently without synonyms or paraphrasing, which could enhance lexical diversity. Additionally, phrases like "positive impact" and "negative impact" are overused and could be replaced with more varied expressions.
  • How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, consider incorporating synonyms or related terms. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "smartphone," you might use "mobile device," "cell phone," or "digital technology." Additionally, explore alternative phrases for "positive impact" and "negative impact," such as "beneficial effects" or "adverse consequences."

• Use Vocabulary Precisely:

  • Detailed explanation: There are several instances of imprecise vocabulary usage that hinder clarity. For example, the phrase "could drawbacks toward young students" is awkward and unclear; it should be "could have drawbacks for young students." Similarly, "pose a serious threat on school children’s concentration" should be revised to "pose a serious threat to school children’s concentration." These inaccuracies can confuse readers and detract from the overall argument.
  • How to improve: Focus on using vocabulary that accurately conveys your intended meaning. Review sentences for clarity and ensure that the words chosen fit the context. Consider using a thesaurus to find more precise alternatives, but be cautious to ensure that the chosen words maintain the intended meaning.

• Use Correct Spelling:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "canals" instead of "cannots," "prohibited" instead of "prohibit," "diminish" instead of "diminution," "abundant" instead of "abundance," and "adivin" instead of "advise." These errors can distract the reader and undermine the credibility of the essay.
  • How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, consider implementing a proofreading strategy. After writing, take a break before reviewing your work to approach it with fresh eyes. Additionally, using spell-check tools or apps can help identify errors. Regular practice withspelling exercises and reading extensively can also enhance spelling skills over time.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a reasonable command of vocabulary, there are notable areas for improvement in range, precision, and spelling accuracy. By diversifying vocabulary, ensuring precise word choice, and enhancing spelling practices, the overall quality of the writing can be significantly improved.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5

• Use a Wide Range of Structures:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some variety in sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For instance, the use of phrases like "One might argue that" and "This is predicted on the assumption that" shows an attempt at complexity. However, the overall range is limited, and many sentences are either overly simplistic or awkwardly constructed, such as "the reliance on smart phones enables to be more susceptible to psychological problems." This lack of variety and awkward phrasing detracts from the overall effectiveness of the argument.
  • How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, consider incorporating more complex sentences that combine clauses effectively. For example, instead of saying "the reliance on smart phones enables to be more susceptible," you could say, "the reliance on smartphones not only increases susceptibility to psychological problems but also diminishes students’ attention spans." Practicing the use of conjunctions and relative clauses can help diversify sentence structures.

• Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that hinder clarity. For example, "school canals should completely prohibited" should be "schools should completely prohibit," and "it is has a negative impact" is incorrect. Punctuation errors, such as the lack of commas in complex sentences, also contribute to confusion. The phrase "the foundational of rotefication attract their attention" is particularly unclear and grammatically incorrect.
  • How to improve: Focus on subject-verb agreement and verb forms. Regular practice with grammar exercises can help solidify understanding. Additionally, reviewing punctuation rules, especially for complex sentences, can improve clarity. Reading academic essays can also provide insights into proper grammar and punctuation usage. Consider revising sentences like "the fact that overuse smartphone has some disadvantages, otherwise, we still resolve by restricting" to "Although the overuse of smartphones has some disadvantages, we can address these issues through restrictions."

In summary, to improve the essay’s grammatical range and accuracy, it is essential to diversify sentence structures and enhance grammatical precision. Regular practice and exposure to well-structured writing can significantly aid in achieving a higher band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

Opinions are divided on whether school authorities should completely prohibit students from using smartphones during lessons. Others believe that advanced technology can facilitate educational progress. I will analyze both viewpoints and highlight the advantages of modern equipment.

One might argue that telephones should be banned in school environments. This is based on the assumption that it could have drawbacks for young students due to its detrimental effects, posing a serious threat to schoolchildren’s concentration and leading to a decline in their academic performance. Online games and social media can distract them from the fundamental subjects that the process of rote learning attracts their attention. The reliance on smartphones makes them more susceptible to psychological problems such as short-sightedness, boredom, fatigue, and distress. For example, those who spend excessive time playing games may become addicted and no longer favor academic subjects. The use of phones could also lead to losing close friendships and reduce the bond between teachers and students, resulting in a lack of ambition and motivation. Therefore, schools should not allow students to use phones in class.

However, it is difficult to address this issue completely and requires a strong policy to implement. By turning off app notifications, students may focus better on studying. Despite the negatives mentioned above, the indisputable benefits of smartphones can yield better studying methods. The model’s ability to brainstorm ideas, analyze details, and provide significant information can allow young people to save time completing tasks. AI technology can also create many useful PowerPoint slides and provide various perspectives for teachers to educate effectively. This efficiency fosters individual potential skills in areas such as coding, research, and problem-solving. Furthermore, bringing a phone with a harness could help students in an emergency, allowing them to contact parents or authorities when facing unexpected situations. Smartphones have a positive impact on interpersonal development and can boost living standards.

In conclusion, while the overuse of smartphones has some disadvantages, we can still resolve this by restricting screen time. The potential of AI, such as ChatGPT, can promote high productivity among learners and improve children’s attitudes towards traditional learning methods.