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Some people say that economic growth is the only way to end world poverty and hunger. Others say that economic growth is damaging the environment and should stop.

Some people say that economic growth is the only way to end world poverty and hunger. Others say that economic growth is damaging the environment and should stop.

People have different views about economic growth. Some people say it is the sole means of eradicating hunger and poverty worldwide. The world while, others believe that damage to the environment and I confess, I agree with those think economic growth is helpful to end poverty and hunger.
These days, I come my is thing that the very much government of each countries focus to develop in order to enhance the position of our country further more, It also bring very much benefits, namely create jobs, increase productivity and reduce radio of poverty and hunger. It's proven they have had strong economic growth. It create jobs for some people who is home less and unemployed. For instance, nowadays more and more people falling in to unemployment and no job can create an increase in poverty. So that economic growth is a way to reduce or eliminate that situation.
On the other, it also damages to the environment. It does not divide it properly. Economic development is also present and habitual. It can lead to pollution and waste of our habitat destruction. Once the environment is polluted, it take better very much money's to restored it to the environment to our government. A prominent example is at many growth focused industries, such as agriculture and manufacturing, engage in practices that are unsustainable, leading to soil degradation, deforestation and water scarcity. consequently, the government ought to balance the economic growth and environment issues.
From what has been discussed above, it can be concluded that although the problems it bring for environment are explicit. In my body view, economic growth is necessary to reduce poverty or hunger in today.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

  1. "People have different views about economic growth." -> "Opinions on economic growth vary."
    Explanation: The phrase "Opinions on economic growth vary" is more concise and formal, fitting better in an academic context than the more casual "People have different views about."

  2. "The world while, others believe" -> "While others believe"
    Explanation: Removing "The world" corrects the grammatical error and simplifies the sentence structure, enhancing clarity and formality.

  3. "I confess, I agree with those think" -> "I acknowledge that I agree with those who believe"
    Explanation: "I acknowledge that I agree with those who believe" corrects the awkward and informal "I confess, I agree with those think" to a more formal and grammatically correct expression.

  4. "I come my is thing that the very much government of each countries focus" -> "It is my opinion that governments of each country focus"
    Explanation: This revision clarifies the sentence structure and removes the awkward and incorrect phrase "I come my is thing," replacing it with a more formal and clear expression.

  5. "further more" -> "furthermore"
    Explanation: "Furthermore" is the correct adverbial form, enhancing the formality and grammatical correctness of the sentence.

  6. "It also bring very much benefits" -> "It also brings numerous benefits"
    Explanation: "Brings" is the correct verb form, and "numerous" is a more precise and formal adjective than "very much," which is vague and informal.

  7. "reduce radio of poverty and hunger" -> "reduce the rate of poverty and hunger"
    Explanation: "The rate of" is the correct phrase, providing clarity and accuracy in describing the measure of poverty and hunger.

  8. "It create jobs" -> "It creates jobs"
    Explanation: "Creates" is the correct verb form to match the subject "It."

  9. "home less and unemployed" -> "homeless and unemployed"
    Explanation: "Homeless" is the correct adjective form, and the phrase is grammatically correct.

  10. "falling in to unemployment" -> "falling into unemployment"
    Explanation: "Into" is the correct preposition for this context, correcting the grammatical error.

  11. "no job can create an increase in poverty" -> "the lack of jobs can exacerbate poverty"
    Explanation: "Exacerbate" is a more precise and formal term than "increase," and the phrase is grammatically correct.

  12. "On the other, it also damages to the environment" -> "On the other hand, it also harms the environment"
    Explanation: "On the other hand" is the correct idiomatic expression, and "harms" is a more precise verb than "damages" in this context.

  13. "It does not divide it properly" -> "It does not manage it properly"
    Explanation: "Manage" is the correct verb to use in this context, replacing the vague and incorrect "divide."

  14. "It can lead to pollution and waste of our habitat destruction" -> "It can lead to pollution, habitat destruction, and waste"
    Explanation: This revision corrects the awkward and grammatically incorrect original phrase, improving clarity and formality.

  15. "take better very much money’s to restored it" -> "requires significant financial resources to restore it"
    Explanation: "Requires significant financial resources" is a more precise and formal expression than the awkward and incorrect "take better very much money’s to restored."

  16. "the government ought to balance the economic growth and environment issues" -> "governments should balance economic growth with environmental concerns"
    Explanation: "Governments should balance" is more formal and precise, and "with environmental concerns" is a clearer and more appropriate phrase than "and environment issues."

  17. "the problems it bring for environment" -> "the problems it poses for the environment"
    Explanation: "Poses" is the correct verb, and "the environment" should be preceded by "for" for grammatical correctness.

  18. "In my body view" -> "In my opinion"
    Explanation: "In my opinion" is the correct idiomatic expression, replacing the incorrect and awkward "In my body view."

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Task Response: 5

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to address both sides of the argument regarding economic growth and its impact on poverty and the environment. However, it lacks depth in discussing the opposing view. While the author states that economic growth can help reduce poverty and hunger, the counterargument about environmental damage is not sufficiently explored. For example, the mention of pollution and habitat destruction is brief and lacks specific examples or elaboration on how these issues impact society or the economy.
    • How to improve: To comprehensively address all elements of the question, the essay should provide a more balanced discussion. This can be achieved by dedicating more space to the environmental concerns, including specific examples of how economic growth has led to environmental degradation and how this, in turn, can affect poverty and hunger. Additionally, presenting potential solutions or compromises between economic growth and environmental protection would enhance the response.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay indicates a personal stance favoring economic growth as a means to combat poverty and hunger. However, the position is muddled by unclear phrasing and grammatical errors, which detract from the overall clarity. For instance, phrases like "I confess, I agree with those think economic growth is helpful" are confusing and undermine the author’s argument. The conclusion also introduces ambiguity with "In my body view," which is not a standard expression and detracts from the clarity of the position.
    • How to improve: To maintain a clear and consistent position, the author should use straightforward language and ensure that their stance is explicitly stated in the introduction and conclusion. Clear topic sentences for each paragraph can help reinforce the main argument. Additionally, proofreading for grammatical accuracy will enhance clarity.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents some ideas related to economic growth and its benefits, such as job creation and productivity increases. However, these ideas are not well-developed or supported with concrete examples. For instance, the statement about job creation lacks specific data or case studies that could strengthen the argument. The discussion on environmental damage is also underdeveloped and does not provide sufficient evidence to support the claims made.
    • How to improve: To effectively present, extend, and substantiate ideas, the author should aim to include specific examples, statistics, or case studies that illustrate their points. Each argument should be elaborated upon, explaining how it connects to the overall thesis. This could involve discussing specific countries or industries where economic growth has led to tangible benefits or environmental issues.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, discussing economic growth and its implications for poverty and the environment. However, there are moments where the focus shifts, particularly in the second paragraph, where the phrasing becomes convoluted and distracts from the main argument. The use of phrases like "it also damages to the environment" is vague and could lead readers to lose track of the main point.
    • How to improve: To maintain focus and relevance to the topic, the author should ensure that each paragraph directly relates back to the prompt. Using clear transitions between points and maintaining a logical flow will help keep the reader engaged and focused on the central argument. Additionally, avoiding overly complex or unclear phrasing will help maintain clarity and relevance throughout the essay.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 5

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the organization of ideas is often unclear and lacks a logical progression. For instance, the transition from discussing the benefits of economic growth to its environmental impacts is abrupt and does not provide a clear connection between the two viewpoints. The introduction also contains a confusing sentence structure that detracts from the clarity of the argument.
    • How to improve: To enhance logical flow, the writer should clearly outline the main points in the introduction and ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single idea. Using topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph can help guide the reader through the argument. Additionally, employing transitional phrases (e.g., "Firstly," "On the other hand," "In conclusion") can help signal shifts in the argument and improve overall coherence.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to use paragraphs, but they are not effectively structured. The first paragraph is overly long and combines multiple ideas without clear separation. The second paragraph also lacks focus, mixing the discussion of economic growth with its consequences on unemployment without a clear transition. The conclusion is vague and does not effectively summarize the main points.
    • How to improve: The writer should ensure that each paragraph has a clear focus and is dedicated to a single aspect of the argument. For example, one paragraph could discuss the benefits of economic growth, while another could address its environmental impacts. Each paragraph should start with a clear topic sentence, followed by supporting details and examples. This will not only improve readability but also strengthen the overall argument.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates limited use of cohesive devices, which affects the flow of ideas. Phrases like "On the other hand" are used, but there is a lack of variety and sophistication in the cohesive devices employed. Additionally, some sentences are poorly constructed, leading to confusion (e.g., "It does not divide it properly" lacks clarity).
    • How to improve: To diversify cohesive devices, the writer should incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases, such as "Furthermore," "However," "In contrast," and "As a result." Additionally, ensuring that sentences are clearly connected will enhance cohesion. For instance, instead of saying "It can lead to pollution and waste of our habitat destruction," the writer could clarify the relationship by saying, "This rapid economic growth can lead to pollution and the destruction of our habitats." Practicing the use of cohesive devices in varied contexts will help improve the overall coherence of the essay.

By addressing these areas for improvement, the writer can enhance the clarity, organization, and overall effectiveness of their argument, potentially raising their band score in Coherence and Cohesion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary, with some effective phrases such as "eradicating hunger and poverty" and "economic growth is necessary." However, the use of repetitive terms like "economic growth" and "poverty" indicates a lack of variety. Additionally, phrases like "very much government of each countries" and "create jobs for some people who is home less" show awkward constructions that detract from the overall fluency.
    • How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should incorporate synonyms and varied expressions. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "economic growth," alternatives like "economic development," "financial progress," or "economic advancement" could be employed. Additionally, the writer could explore phrases such as "job creation" or "employment opportunities" to avoid redundancy.
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: There are several instances of imprecise vocabulary usage. For example, the phrase "I confess, I agree with those think economic growth is helpful" is unclear and grammatically incorrect. The term "damages to the environment" should be "damage to the environment," and "it take better very much money’s to restored it" is confusing and incorrect.
    • How to improve: The writer should focus on clarity and grammatical accuracy. Using phrases like "I believe that economic growth can be beneficial" instead of "I confess, I agree with those think" would improve precision. Additionally, ensuring subject-verb agreement and proper verb forms will enhance clarity. For example, "it takes a lot of money to restore" is a more precise and grammatically correct expression.
  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "home less" (should be "homeless"), "bring very much benefits" (should be "bring many benefits"), and "to restored it" (should be "to restore it"). These errors can distract the reader and undermine the credibility of the argument.
    • How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, the writer should engage in regular practice, such as using spelling apps or tools that highlight errors. Additionally, proofreading the essay multiple times or reading it aloud can help catch mistakes. Creating a list of commonly misspelled words and reviewing them prior to writing could also be beneficial.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates some strengths in vocabulary usage, it requires improvement in range, precision, and spelling to achieve a higher band score. Focusing on these areas will enhance the overall quality and clarity of the writing.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some variety in sentence structures, such as simple, compound, and complex sentences. For example, the sentence "Some people say it is the sole means of eradicating hunger and poverty worldwide" is a clear complex structure. However, there are instances of awkward phrasing and incomplete thoughts, such as "The world while, others believe that damage to the environment and I confess, I agree with those think economic growth is helpful to end poverty and hunger." This sentence lacks clarity and coherence, which detracts from the overall effectiveness.
    • How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, the writer should practice using more complex sentences that clearly express relationships between ideas. For example, instead of "It create jobs for some people who is home less and unemployed," a more effective structure would be "Economic growth creates jobs for the homeless and unemployed, thereby helping to alleviate poverty." Additionally, incorporating transitional phrases can help improve the flow and coherence of ideas.
  • Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that hinder clarity. For instance, "I come my is thing that the very much government of each countries focus to develop" is grammatically incorrect and confusing. The incorrect use of articles, subject-verb agreement errors (e.g., "It create jobs" should be "It creates jobs"), and punctuation mistakes (e.g., missing commas and periods) are prevalent throughout the essay. The phrase "On the other, it also damages to the environment" is also incorrect; it should be "On the other hand, it also damages the environment."
    • How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on mastering subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles. Regular practice with grammar exercises and reviewing basic grammar rules can be beneficial. Additionally, proofreading the essay for punctuation errors and ensuring that each sentence is complete and coherent will enhance clarity. Utilizing tools like grammar checkers or seeking feedback from peers can also help identify and correct errors before submission.

In summary, while the essay presents some valid points, it requires significant improvement in both grammatical range and accuracy to achieve a higher band score. Focusing on sentence structure variety and grammatical correctness will greatly enhance the overall quality of the writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

People have different views about economic growth. While some believe it is the sole means of eradicating hunger and poverty worldwide, others argue that it is damaging to the environment and should be curtailed. I acknowledge that I agree with those who believe economic growth is essential for ending poverty and hunger.

These days, I think that the governments of each country should focus on development in order to enhance their positions further. Furthermore, economic growth brings numerous benefits, such as creating jobs, increasing productivity, and reducing the rates of poverty and hunger. It has been proven that countries with strong economic growth create job opportunities for many individuals who are homeless and unemployed. For instance, as more people fall into unemployment, the lack of jobs can exacerbate poverty. Therefore, economic growth is a viable way to reduce or eliminate this situation.

On the other hand, it also harms the environment if it is not managed properly. Economic development can lead to pollution, habitat destruction, and waste. Once the environment is damaged, it requires significant financial resources to restore it. A prominent example is that many growth-focused industries, such as agriculture and manufacturing, engage in unsustainable practices that result in soil degradation, deforestation, and water scarcity. Consequently, governments should balance economic growth with environmental concerns.

In conclusion, while the problems it poses for the environment are evident, I believe that economic growth is necessary to reduce poverty and hunger in today’s world.

Bài viết liên quan

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more accessible. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more…

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