Some people say that supermarkets and manufacturers have a responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging on products they sell. Others believe that it is the consumer’s responsibility to avoid buying products which have a lot of packaging. Discuss both views and give your opinions. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Some people say that supermarkets and manufacturers have a responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging on products they sell. Others believe that it is the consumer’s responsibility to avoid buying products which have a lot of packaging.
Discuss both views and give your opinions. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
With environmental issues being prevalent, most of which due to packaging waste, people are raising questions about responsibility. While some people contend manufacturers and distributors should be held accountable, others believe it is consumers’ who have to be responsible instead. In terms of resources, influence, and morality, I believe that corporations should be responsible for this duty.
On the one hand, one has to accept that manufacturers and distributors cannot be entirely burdened with reducing packaging waste since it is not technically in their job description, and this duty could be effectively shared between humans and conglomerates. In a sense, companies are, by standard, required only to create products meeting customers' demand while ensuring health safety. Sticking by these predetermined rules, then one cannot claim that reducing packaging waste is a duty for companies. From a wider aspect, this is a worldwide problem and should be a community responsibility. People need to be aware and cooperate to make packaging redundant. This can be done by raising personal awareness and countability. For instance, consumers could choose items requiring little to no packaging. Since productions are based on customers demands, this method will result in an inevitable reduction in packaging materials.
On the other hand, though companies cannot be completely held accountable for this duty, they have more influence and power than individuals and should therefore take more responsibility than individuals. From a financial perspective, companies’ resources far outweigh that of individuals. With adequate monetary funds, conglomerates should be given more responsibility. Moreover, an individual or organization’s influence is insignificant compared to the coverage of a conglomerate and its products. Therefore, a change in corporations towards reducing packaging waste can foster a much greater impact than what an individual or an organization could do. Additionally, although companies can claim reducing packaging waste is not in their job description, it is still a moral and ethical responsibility. This includes optimizing packaging materials to alleviate environmental issues. Ultimately, with greater resources, coverage, and a moral responsibility, manufacturers and distributors must be ready to prioritize eco-friendly measures, primarily in reducing packaging waste.
In conclusion, This responsibility should be shared between both consumers and conglomerates. However, since the latter have the capabilities to make large-scale changes, I believe more responsibility should be assigned to corporations. Measures should involve the combined efforts of both parties to achieve optimal results, working towards an eco-friendly world.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
-
"most of which due to" -> "largely due to"
Explanation: "Most of which due to" is grammatically incorrect and awkward. "Largely due to" is a more natural and precise phrase that improves the flow and clarity of the sentence. -
"people are raising questions about responsibility" -> "concerns are being raised about responsibility"
Explanation: "Concerns are being raised" is a more formal and precise way to express the ongoing nature of the issue, enhancing the academic tone. -
"it is consumers’ who have to be responsible" -> "it is consumers who must be held responsible"
Explanation: "It is consumers who must be held responsible" corrects the possessive error and uses "must be held responsible" to emphasize the obligation, which is more appropriate in an academic context. -
"one has to accept" -> "it is necessary to acknowledge"
Explanation: "It is necessary to acknowledge" is more formal and avoids the informal tone of "one has to accept," aligning better with academic writing standards. -
"companies are, by standard, required" -> "companies are, by standard, required to"
Explanation: Adding "to" after "required" corrects the grammatical structure, making the sentence grammatically correct and clearer. -
"Sticking by these predetermined rules" -> "adhering to these predetermined rules"
Explanation: "Adhering to" is a more formal synonym for "sticking by," which is more suitable for academic writing. -
"raising personal awareness and countability" -> "raising personal awareness and accountability"
Explanation: "Accountability" is the correct term, replacing the incorrect "countability," which is not a recognized term in this context. -
"Since productions are based on customers demands" -> "Since production is based on customer demand"
Explanation: "Production" should be singular when referring to the general concept, and "customer demand" should be singular to match the singular subject. -
"companies’ resources far outweigh that of individuals" -> "companies’ resources far exceed those of individuals"
Explanation: "Far exceed" is a more precise and formal way to express the comparison, and "those of" is grammatically correct. -
"an individual or organization’s influence is insignificant" -> "the influence of an individual or organization is negligible"
Explanation: "The influence of" is grammatically correct, and "negligible" is a more precise term than "insignificant" in this context, fitting better in academic writing. -
"a change in corporations towards reducing packaging waste" -> "corporate efforts to reduce packaging waste"
Explanation: "Corporate efforts" is a more specific and formal term than "a change in corporations," which is vague and less precise. -
"This responsibility should be shared" -> "This responsibility should be distributed"
Explanation: "Distributed" is a more precise term than "shared" in this context, implying a more formal and structured allocation of responsibility. -
"Measures should involve the combined efforts of both parties" -> "Measures should involve the collaborative efforts of both parties"
Explanation: "Collaborative efforts" explicitly conveys the idea of joint action, which is more specific and formal than "combined efforts."
These changes enhance the precision, formality, and clarity of the essay, aligning it more closely with academic writing standards.
Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8
Band Score for Task Response: 8
-
Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both views regarding the responsibility of reducing packaging waste. The author presents the argument that manufacturers and distributors should bear a significant portion of the responsibility while acknowledging that consumers also play a role. The discussion is balanced, with clear recognition of the complexities involved in the issue. For instance, the essay mentions the need for consumers to make conscious choices, which aligns with the prompt’s requirement to discuss both perspectives.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the essay could benefit from a more explicit acknowledgment of the opposing viewpoint in the conclusion. While both sides are discussed, reiterating the key points of the consumer’s responsibility in a more pronounced manner would provide a more rounded conclusion and reinforce the discussion.
-
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position that manufacturers and distributors should bear more responsibility, supported by logical reasoning and examples. The author consistently emphasizes the moral and financial obligations of corporations, which strengthens the argument. However, the phrase "this duty could be effectively shared" in the first paragraph could create some ambiguity regarding the author’s stance.
- How to improve: To improve clarity, the author should explicitly state their position in the introduction and consistently reinforce it throughout the essay. Phrasing such as "I firmly believe" or "It is my opinion that" can help clarify the author’s stance from the outset and maintain focus on their viewpoint.
-
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents well-structured arguments, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the discussion. The use of examples, such as consumer choices impacting packaging waste, effectively supports the points made. However, some ideas could be further developed. For instance, the mention of "raising personal awareness and countability" could be elaborated with specific examples of how this could be achieved in practice.
- How to improve: To strengthen the support for ideas, the author should include more detailed examples and explanations. For instance, discussing specific initiatives or successful case studies where companies have reduced packaging could provide concrete evidence for their claims. Additionally, expanding on how consumers can raise awareness would enhance the depth of the argument.
-
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay remains largely focused on the topic of responsibility for packaging waste. The author successfully navigates the complexities of the issue without deviating into unrelated areas. However, there are moments where the language could be more precise, such as the phrase "this is a worldwide problem and should be a community responsibility," which could be interpreted as slightly off-topic.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the author should ensure that all statements directly relate back to the central question of responsibility. Avoiding broad statements that could lead to tangential discussions will help keep the essay tightly aligned with the prompt. Additionally, ensuring that each point made ties back to the responsibilities of either consumers or corporations will enhance coherence.
Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the topic and presents a well-reasoned argument. With some refinements in clarity, depth of examples, and focus, it could achieve an even higher score.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8
Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 8
-
Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure, with an introduction that outlines the topic and states the writer’s opinion. The body paragraphs are organized to discuss both perspectives, starting with the argument that manufacturers should share responsibility and then transitioning to the viewpoint that they hold greater responsibility. Each paragraph logically builds on the previous one, maintaining a coherent flow of ideas. For example, the transition from discussing consumer responsibility to corporate responsibility is smooth and effectively highlights the contrast between the two views.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, the writer could consider using clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to explicitly state the main idea being discussed. Additionally, incorporating more transitional phrases could further guide the reader through the argument, ensuring that the connections between ideas are even more apparent.
-
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the argument. The introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion are clearly delineated, which aids in readability. However, the second body paragraph could be further divided into two distinct paragraphs: one focusing on the financial and resource-based arguments and another on the moral and ethical responsibilities of corporations.
- How to improve: To improve paragraphing, the writer should ensure that each paragraph contains a single main idea and supporting details. This could involve breaking down complex ideas into smaller, more digestible sections, which would help maintain clarity and focus throughout the essay.
-
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good use of cohesive devices, such as "On the one hand," "On the other hand," and "In conclusion," which help to signal shifts in the argument and summarize points effectively. However, the use of cohesive devices could be more varied. For instance, phrases like "For instance," and "Moreover," are used, but the essay could benefit from additional linking words and phrases to enhance the flow and connection between sentences and ideas.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, the writer should incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases, such as "Furthermore," "In addition," "Conversely," and "As a result." This will not only improve the essay’s cohesion but also demonstrate a greater command of language, which is essential for achieving a higher band score.
Overall, the essay is well-structured and presents a balanced discussion of the topic. By focusing on enhancing logical organization, refining paragraph structure, and diversifying cohesive devices, the writer can elevate the quality of their writing even further.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7
-
Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary relevant to the topic of environmental responsibility and packaging waste. Phrases such as "environmental issues," "packaging waste," "corporations," and "community responsibility" indicate a solid understanding of the subject matter. However, there are instances where vocabulary could be more varied or sophisticated. For example, the repeated use of "responsibility" and "companies" could be replaced with synonyms like "accountability" or "corporate entities" to enhance lexical diversity.
- How to improve: To improve, the writer should aim to incorporate a broader array of synonyms and expressions related to the topic. This could involve using a thesaurus to find alternative words or phrases that convey similar meanings but add variety to the text. Additionally, integrating more advanced vocabulary related to environmental issues, such as "sustainability," "ecological footprint," or "resource management," could elevate the essay further.
-
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary accurately, but there are moments of imprecision that could lead to confusion. For instance, the phrase "this duty could be effectively shared between humans and conglomerates" could be clearer if "humans" were replaced with "individuals" to specify the type of responsibility being discussed. Additionally, the term "countability" is not commonly used in this context and may confuse readers.
- How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should ensure that the terms used align closely with their intended meanings. It is advisable to double-check the definitions of less common words or phrases to ensure they fit the context. Moreover, using more straightforward language where appropriate can help clarify the message, making it more accessible to the reader.
-
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay displays a high level of spelling accuracy, with only minor errors present. However, there is a notable mistake in the phrase "countability," which should be "accountability." This error detracts from the overall professionalism of the writing.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, the writer should proofread the essay carefully before submission. Utilizing spell-check tools and reading the essay aloud can help catch errors that might be overlooked during the writing process. Additionally, familiarizing oneself with commonly misspelled words in academic writing can further enhance spelling proficiency.
Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid command of vocabulary, but there is room for improvement in terms of variety, precision, and spelling accuracy. By focusing on these areas, the writer can enhance the overall quality of their lexical resource in future essays.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8
Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8
-
Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures. For instance, the use of complex sentences is evident in phrases like "While some people contend manufacturers and distributors should be held accountable, others believe it is consumers’ who have to be responsible instead." This showcases the ability to convey nuanced ideas. Additionally, the essay employs conditional structures, as seen in "if reducing packaging waste is not in their job description," which adds depth to the argument. However, some sentences could be more varied in length and structure to enhance the overall flow and engagement of the essay.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures further, consider incorporating more compound-complex sentences and varying the placement of clauses. For example, instead of starting sentences with the subject, try beginning with adverbial phrases or subordinate clauses to create a more dynamic rhythm. Additionally, integrating rhetorical questions or exclamatory sentences could engage the reader more effectively.
-
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains a high level of grammatical accuracy, with few errors that do not impede understanding. For example, the phrase "this duty could be effectively shared between humans and conglomerates" is grammatically sound. However, there are minor issues, such as "it is consumers’ who have to be responsible instead," where "consumers’" should be "consumers" to avoid awkward possessive usage. Additionally, punctuation is mostly correct, but there are instances where commas could enhance clarity, such as after introductory phrases.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, pay close attention to possessive forms and ensure they are used correctly. Regularly reviewing common grammatical rules can help minimize such errors. For punctuation, practice using commas to separate clauses and enhance readability. For instance, in the sentence "In conclusion, This responsibility should be shared," the "This" should be lowercase, and a comma could be added before "should" to improve flow. Engaging in targeted grammar exercises can also solidify understanding and application of complex structures.
Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong command of grammatical range and accuracy, with room for improvement in diversifying sentence structures and refining grammatical precision.
Bài sửa mẫu
With environmental issues being prevalent, most of which are largely due to packaging waste, people are raising questions about responsibility. While some contend that manufacturers and distributors should be held accountable, others believe it is consumers who must be responsible instead. In terms of resources, influence, and morality, I believe that corporations should be responsible for this duty.
On the one hand, one must accept that manufacturers and distributors cannot be entirely burdened with reducing packaging waste since it is not technically in their job description, and this duty could be effectively shared between individuals and conglomerates. In a sense, companies are, by standard, required only to create products that meet customers’ demands while ensuring health and safety. Adhering to these predetermined rules, one cannot claim that reducing packaging waste is solely a duty for companies. From a wider perspective, this is a global problem and should be a community responsibility. People need to be aware and cooperate to make packaging redundant. This can be done by raising personal awareness and accountability. For instance, consumers could choose items requiring little to no packaging. Since production is based on customer demand, this method will result in an inevitable reduction in packaging materials.
On the other hand, although companies cannot be completely held accountable for this duty, they have more influence and power than individuals and should therefore take more responsibility. From a financial perspective, companies’ resources far exceed those of individuals. With adequate monetary funds, conglomerates should be given more responsibility. Moreover, the influence of an individual or organization is negligible compared to the coverage of a conglomerate and its products. Therefore, a change in corporations towards reducing packaging waste can foster a much greater impact than what an individual or an organization could do. Additionally, although companies can claim that reducing packaging waste is not in their job description, it is still a moral and ethical responsibility. This includes optimizing packaging materials to alleviate environmental issues. Ultimately, with greater resources, coverage, and a moral responsibility, manufacturers and distributors must be ready to prioritize eco-friendly measures, primarily in reducing packaging waste.
In conclusion, this responsibility should be distributed between both consumers and conglomerates. However, since the latter have the capabilities to make large-scale changes, I believe more responsibility should be assigned to corporations. Measures should involve the collaborative efforts of both parties to achieve optimal results, working towards an eco-friendly world.
