Some people say that when deciding taxes, government should prioritize health care. Others think that there are more important priorities for tax-payers’ money. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people say that when deciding taxes, government should prioritize health care. Others think that there are more important priorities for tax-payers’ money.

Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Tax is an indisposable task in the economic market, and most of all fields in social life have to charge a relevant tax level which relies on particular major. Some people say that government should decrease or dispose of tax in healthcare services and others recommend to put tax-payers' money first. Both viewpoints have their own rights and faults, and in my sight, tax should be decided equally in every fields. 

Firstly, healthcare is a must-have and practical service that expresses the humanitarian character. Therefore, some people suggest the idea of free-charge or prioritize tax for this field. On one side, healthcare helps patients come over their diseases, so it brings a healthy and safe life for human. Therefore, government should make a change of tax policy about healthcare service to encourage people care for their health more. In contrast, the fraud also appears from this concept while some people utilze victims' belief in doctors, frauders implement illegal actions to make money, which is extremely an evil in society.

Secondly, making money is not a simple activity as entertainment, and many people idealize the priority for tax-payers'money. Needless to say that the value money-makers devote themselves to earn is worth their efforts. Hence, this appreciation is valuable for them, and government should not put high tax in products to enhance people' efforts. However, people only care about their benefits but not for our society. Why do government decide tax for every fields? The answer is these money is used for the community plans which affects directly to residents' lives. Tax is really essential for a country's development.

Last but not least, in my viewpoint, tax should be put equally for any field because of its importance. Tax can help increase the social stability, tax can limit the risk of crime, and tax can maintain the social relationships. If government dispose of tax, our society will be converted.

In conclusion, tax is extremely crucial in our general development. Therefore, people should not complaint about high taxes to make our lives more modern.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

1. "indisposable" -> "indispensable"
   Explanation: "Indisposable" is not a word in English. The correct term is "indispensable," which means essential or necessary, fitting the context of discussing the importance of tax in the economic market.

2. "most of all fields in social life" -> "all aspects of social life"
   Explanation: "Most of all fields in social life" is awkward and unclear. "All aspects of social life" is more precise and natural, enhancing clarity and formality.

3. "charge a relevant tax level" -> "levy a suitable tax rate"
   Explanation: "Charge a relevant tax level" is somewhat informal and vague. "Levy a suitable tax rate" is more formal and specific, aligning better with academic language.

4. "particular major" -> "specific sector"
   Explanation: "Particular major" is incorrect as "major" typically refers to a field of study. "Specific sector" is the correct term for referring to a particular area of economic or social activity.

5. "have their own rights and faults" -> "have their own merits and drawbacks"
   Explanation: "Rights and faults" is an unusual and incorrect combination. "Merits and drawbacks" is the standard academic terminology for discussing the advantages and disadvantages of an argument.

6. "in my sight" -> "in my opinion"
   Explanation: "In my sight" is an uncommon and less formal expression. "In my opinion" is the standard phrase used in academic writing to express personal viewpoint.

7. "free-charge" -> "free of charge"
   Explanation: "Free-charge" is a nonstandard term. "Free of charge" is the correct phrase used in formal and academic contexts to indicate that something is provided without cost.

8. "utilze" -> "utilize"
   Explanation: "Utilze" is a typographical error. The correct spelling is "utilize," which is the standard form of the verb.

9. "frauders" -> "fraudsters"
   Explanation: "Frauders" is not a commonly used term. "Fraudsters" is the correct term for individuals who engage in fraudulent activities.

10. "extremely an evil" -> "extremely evil"
    Explanation: "Extremely an evil" is grammatically incorrect. "Extremely evil" is the correct form, emphasizing the severity of the issue.

11. "money-makers" -> "those who earn money"
    Explanation: "Money-makers" is informal and vague. "Those who earn money" is more precise and formal, suitable for academic writing.

12. "people only care about their benefits but not for our society" -> "individuals primarily consider their own interests rather than those of society"
    Explanation: The original phrase is awkward and informal. The suggested revision is more formal and clearly conveys the intended meaning.

13. "Why do government decide tax for every fields?" -> "Why does the government decide on taxes for all fields?"
    Explanation: "Why do government decide tax for every fields?" contains grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. The revised version corrects these issues and improves clarity and formality.

14. "tax can help increase the social stability" -> "taxation can contribute to social stability"
    Explanation: "Tax can help increase" is informal and vague. "Taxation can contribute to social stability" is more precise and formal, fitting the academic style better.

15. "tax can limit the risk of crime" -> "taxation can reduce crime rates"
    Explanation: "Tax can limit the risk of crime" is somewhat informal and imprecise. "Taxation can reduce crime rates" is more specific and formal, aligning with academic standards.

16. "If government dispose of tax" -> "If the government eliminates taxes"
    Explanation: "Dispose of tax" is incorrect and unclear. "Eliminates taxes" is the correct term and is more precise in the context of discussing the removal of taxes.

17. "people should not complaint about high taxes" -> "people should not complain about high taxes"
    Explanation: "Complaint" is a noun and should be used as such, not as a verb. "Complain" is the correct verb form, and the article "a" should be removed before "high taxes" as it is not necessary.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

• Answer All Parts of the Question:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay addresses both views regarding tax priorities, discussing the importance of healthcare and the perspective that other areas may require more funding. The first paragraph introduces the topic, while the subsequent paragraphs explore the arguments for prioritizing healthcare and the counter-argument for focusing on other areas. However, the essay could have more explicitly stated the two sides of the debate in the introduction, making it clearer that both views would be discussed.
  • How to improve: To enhance the response to the prompt, the introduction should clearly outline the two perspectives and indicate that both will be discussed. Additionally, a more balanced treatment of both views would strengthen the response, ensuring that each side is given equal weight before presenting a personal opinion.

• Present a Clear Position Throughout:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay does present a personal opinion that tax should be distributed equally across all fields. However, this position is somewhat muddled by the discussion of both views, particularly in the conclusion, which lacks a strong reiteration of the author’s stance. The phrase "in my sight" is vague and could be more assertively stated.
  • How to improve: To maintain a clear position, the author should explicitly restate their opinion in the conclusion and ensure that it aligns with the arguments presented in the body paragraphs. Using phrases like "I believe" or "In my opinion" can help clarify the author’s stance.

• Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas, such as the importance of healthcare and the value of taxpayers’ contributions. However, the support for these ideas is often weak or unclear. For example, the mention of fraud in the healthcare system is relevant but lacks depth and connection to the main argument. The idea that tax contributes to social stability is introduced but not sufficiently elaborated upon.
  • How to improve: To improve the development of ideas, the author should provide more specific examples and evidence to support their claims. Expanding on key points with data, anecdotes, or further explanation would strengthen the arguments. Each idea should be clearly linked back to the main thesis to ensure coherence.

• Stay on Topic:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, discussing the roles of taxes in healthcare and other sectors. However, there are moments where the focus shifts, such as the mention of fraud, which, while relevant, detracts from the main argument about tax priorities. Additionally, the phrase "money-makers devote themselves to earn" could be seen as slightly off-topic, as it does not directly relate to the tax discussion.
  • How to improve: To maintain focus, the author should ensure that all points made directly relate to the prompt. If a point seems tangential, it may be better to omit it or reframe it to tie it back to the central argument. A clear outline before writing can help in staying on topic.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a good understanding of the task and presents relevant arguments, it would benefit from clearer structure, stronger support for ideas, and a more consistent presentation of the author’s position.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

• Organize Information Logically:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing both viewpoints, and a conclusion. However, the logical flow could be improved. For instance, the transition from discussing healthcare to the importance of tax for money-makers feels abrupt. The argument about healthcare and its societal implications is somewhat muddled, as it introduces the concept of fraud without a clear connection to the main argument about healthcare funding.
  • How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to outline the main idea. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. For example, after discussing healthcare, a sentence that explicitly connects the importance of healthcare funding to the broader implications for society would help maintain coherence.

• Use Paragraphs:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay employs paragraphs effectively, with each paragraph focusing on a distinct aspect of the discussion. However, the paragraph discussing the importance of tax for money-makers lacks a clear connection to the overall argument and could benefit from more focused development. The final paragraph attempts to summarize the author’s opinion but does not effectively tie back to the previous arguments made.
  • How to improve: Strengthen paragraphing by ensuring that each paragraph has a clear main idea that directly relates to the essay prompt. Consider using the final paragraph to synthesize the arguments presented in the body, reiterating how they support the conclusion that tax should be distributed equally across fields. This will create a more cohesive argument throughout the essay.

• Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay uses some cohesive devices, such as "Firstly," "Secondly," and "Last but not least," which help to structure the argument. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and there are instances where the connections between ideas could be clearer. For example, phrases like "In contrast" and "However" are used, but they do not always effectively clarify the relationships between the points being made.
  • How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases that indicate contrast, addition, and cause-effect relationships. For example, instead of repeating "However," consider using alternatives like "On the other hand" or "Nevertheless." Additionally, using phrases that summarize or clarify points, such as "This suggests that" or "Consequently," can help improve the flow and clarity of the argument.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and presents a coherent argument, focusing on improving logical organization, refining paragraph structure, and expanding the range of cohesive devices will enhance clarity and cohesion, potentially raising the band score further.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

• Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates an attempt to use a variety of vocabulary related to the topic of taxation and healthcare. Phrases such as "indisposable task," "humanitarian character," and "social stability" indicate some range. However, there are instances of repetitive vocabulary, such as the frequent use of "tax" and "healthcare," which limits the overall lexical variety. Additionally, some phrases, like "dispose of tax," are not commonly used in English, which can detract from the essay’s effectiveness.
  • How to improve: To enhance lexical range, the writer should incorporate synonyms and related terms. For example, instead of repeating "tax," they could use "levy," "duty," or "financial contribution." Similarly, varying phrases like "healthcare services" with "medical services" or "health provisions" would enrich the vocabulary and make the writing more engaging.

• Use Vocabulary Precisely:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several instances of imprecise vocabulary usage. For example, the phrase "dispose of tax" is misleading; it should be "reduce taxes" or "eliminate taxes." The term "frauders" is also informal and not widely accepted in academic writing; "fraudsters" would be a more appropriate choice. Additionally, the phrase "come over their diseases" is awkward and unclear; "overcome their illnesses" would be more precise.
  • How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on using vocabulary that accurately conveys their intended meaning. This can be achieved by revising sentences for clarity and selecting words that are commonly accepted in formal writing. Utilizing a thesaurus to find more appropriate synonyms can also aid in this process.

• Use Correct Spelling:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors that affect the overall clarity and professionalism of the writing. For instance, "indisposable" should be "indispensable," and "utilze" is a misspelling of "utilize." Additionally, "complaint" should be "complain," and "frauders" is incorrectly spelled; the correct term is "fraudsters." These errors can distract the reader and undermine the writer’s credibility.
  • How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should proofread their work carefully, possibly using spell-check tools or apps. Additionally, practicing spelling commonly used academic vocabulary can help solidify correct spelling in future essays. Reading more academic texts can also expose the writer to correct spelling in context, aiding retention.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a basic understanding of the topic and attempts to engage with various viewpoints, improvements in vocabulary range, precision, and spelling are necessary to achieve a higher band score in the Lexical Resource category.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5

• Use a Wide Range of Structures:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some variety in sentence structures, such as simple sentences ("Tax is an indisposable task in the economic market") and compound sentences ("Some people say that government should decrease or dispose of tax in healthcare services and others recommend to put tax-payers’ money first"). However, the range is limited, and many sentences are either overly simplistic or awkwardly constructed. For example, phrases like "the fraud also appears from this concept" and "the answer is these money is used for the community plans" show a lack of complexity and fluency.
  • How to improve: To enhance the range of structures, the writer should incorporate more complex sentences, such as those that use subordinate clauses or varied conjunctions. For instance, instead of saying "healthcare helps patients come over their diseases," the writer could say, "While healthcare helps patients overcome their diseases, it also raises questions about the allocation of tax funds." Practicing combining ideas and using varied sentence openings can significantly improve the overall fluency and coherence of the writing.

• Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that detract from clarity. For example, the phrase "dispose of tax in healthcare services" is awkward; the correct term would be "eliminate" or "reduce." Additionally, there are punctuation errors, such as missing commas in complex sentences and incorrect apostrophe usage in "tax-payers’money" (which should be "taxpayers’ money"). The phrase "frauders implement illegal actions" uses an incorrect term; "fraudsters" is the appropriate word. These errors contribute to a lack of clarity and coherence in the argument.
  • How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on proofreading for common errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement and punctuation. Utilizing grammar-checking tools can help identify mistakes. Furthermore, practicing writing complex sentences and ensuring proper punctuation, especially with conjunctions and clauses, will enhance the overall quality. Engaging in exercises that focus on the correct use of apostrophes and plural forms can also be beneficial.

In summary, to achieve a higher band score, the writer should work on diversifying sentence structures and improving grammatical accuracy. Regular practice, feedback, and revision will be key to making these improvements.

Bài sửa mẫu

Taxation is an indispensable aspect of the economic market, and all aspects of social life must levy a suitable tax rate based on specific sectors. Some people argue that the government should decrease or eliminate taxes in healthcare services, while others believe that there are more important priorities for taxpayers’ money. Both viewpoints have their own merits and drawbacks, and in my opinion, tax should be allocated equally across all fields.

Firstly, healthcare is an essential and practical service that reflects our humanitarian values. Therefore, some people advocate for free healthcare or prioritizing tax for this sector. On one hand, healthcare helps patients overcome their illnesses, leading to a healthier and safer society. Consequently, the government should revise tax policies regarding healthcare services to encourage individuals to prioritize their health. However, this perspective also opens the door for fraud; some individuals exploit the trust that victims place in healthcare professionals. These fraudsters engage in illegal activities to profit, which is extremely harmful to society.

Secondly, earning money is not a simple task, and many people emphasize the importance of prioritizing taxpayers’ money. It is undeniable that the value individuals create through their hard work is significant. Therefore, this recognition is important, and the government should avoid imposing excessively high taxes on products to support people’s efforts. However, it is also true that individuals often prioritize their own interests rather than those of society. Why does the government decide on taxes for all fields? The answer is that this money is used for community projects that directly impact residents’ lives. Taxation can contribute to social stability and is vital for a country’s development.

In conclusion, I believe that tax should be distributed equally across all sectors due to its importance. Taxation can help enhance social stability, reduce crime rates, and maintain social relationships. If the government eliminates taxes, our society would face significant challenges.

In summary, taxation is extremely crucial for our overall development. Therefore, people should not complain about high taxes, as they play a vital role in making our lives better.