Some people think hosting major international sporting event brings a lot of advantages to a country, while others believe that there are more disadvantages. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

There has been a growing belief about the impact of hosting a large-scale sport competition. While some individuals argue that there are huge benefits for a country to hold this honor, others believe that the opposite is true. Although both views hold merit, I agree more with the latter perspective
On the one hand, there are some reasons why it is believed that there are significant potential benefits to hosting international sporting events. First, hosting such events can lead to a significant influx of tourism, which can boost local businesses, create jobs, and increase revenue through tourism-related activities.For instance, the preparation for and execution of major events creates temporary jobs in construction, hospitality, security, and event management, providing income opportunities for many. Second, successful hosting can foster a sense of national pride and unity, bringing people together in celebration and enhancing social cohesion. Sporting events provide an opportunity for a country to showcase its culture, history, and achievements on a global stage, instilling a sense of pride among citizens.
On the other hand, I strongly opine that holding a major international sporting event would bring adverse aspects. First, due to the backward development of some countries, they don’t have enough conditions and qualities to organize a big event. For example, Lao is one of the nations that has a low increasing rate and when an Asian cup is held in that country, they can’t afford the athlete's living costs, leading many cities to face financial difficulties long after the events have ended. Second, when a country hosts that position, there are huge people all around the world coming. As a consequence, those people would increase from the rate of pollution to habitat destruction due to the amount of waste used. Building sports facilities and related infrastructure often requires large areas of land, which can lead to the destruction of natural habitats, impacting local flora and fauna.
In conclusion,while there are valid arguments on both sides of the debate regarding the relevance to the impact of hosting an international sporting event, I firmly believe that it brings disadvantage aspects to a nation among the economic condition and environmental problems

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"There has been a growing belief about" -> "There is a growing belief that"
Explanation: The phrase "There has been a growing belief about" is somewhat awkward and passive. Using "There is a growing belief that" simplifies and clarifies the sentence structure, making it more direct and formal.
"huge benefits for a country to hold this honor" -> "substantial benefits for a country to host this event"
Explanation: "Huge" is somewhat informal and vague; "substantial" is more precise and appropriate for academic writing. Also, "hold this honor" is unclear; "host this event" is more specific and contextually accurate.
"the opposite is true" -> "the opposite is also true"
Explanation: Adding "also" clarifies that the opposing viewpoint is not only valid but also acknowledged, which is more precise in academic discourse.
"significant potential benefits" -> "significant potential advantages"
Explanation: "Advantages" is more specific and academically appropriate than "benefits" in this context, as it implies a more detailed analysis of the positive outcomes.
"boost local businesses, create jobs, and increase revenue" -> "enhance local businesses, generate employment opportunities, and increase revenue"
Explanation: "Enhance" and "generate employment opportunities" are more precise and formal than "boost" and "create jobs," respectively, fitting better in an academic context.
"foster a sense of national pride and unity" -> "promote national pride and unity"
Explanation: "Promote" is a more formal and precise verb than "foster" in this context, aligning better with academic style.
"I strongly opine" -> "I firmly believe"
Explanation: "Opine" is somewhat archaic and less commonly used in modern academic writing. "Believe" is straightforward and maintains a formal tone while being more accessible.
"don’t have enough conditions and qualities" -> "lack the necessary conditions and capabilities"
Explanation: "Lack" is more formal and precise than "don’t have," and "capabilities" is more specific than "qualities," enhancing the academic tone.
"Lao is one of the nations" -> "Laos is one of the countries"
Explanation: "Lao" is the adjective form of the country’s name, whereas "Laos" is the noun form. Also, "countries" is more appropriate than "nations" in this context.
"low increasing rate" -> "low economic growth rate"
Explanation: "Low increasing rate" is unclear and grammatically awkward. "Low economic growth rate" is a standard term in economic discussions and is more precise.
"can’t afford the athlete’s living costs" -> "cannot afford the costs of accommodating athletes"
Explanation: "Cannot afford the costs of accommodating athletes" is more formal and specific, avoiding the contraction "can’t" and clarifying the meaning.
"huge people all around the world coming" -> "large numbers of people from around the world"
Explanation: "Huge people" is incorrect and unclear. "Large numbers of people" is grammatically correct and clearer, enhancing readability and formality.
"increase from the rate of pollution to habitat destruction" -> "increase the rates of pollution and habitat destruction"
Explanation: "Increase from the rate of" is grammatically incorrect. "Increase the rates of" corrects this and clarifies the meaning.
"disadvantage aspects" -> "disadvantages"
Explanation: "Disadvantage aspects" is awkward and unclear. "Disadvantages" is the correct term, providing a clear and concise expression of the negative impacts.
"economic condition and environmental problems" -> "economic conditions and environmental issues"
Explanation: "Condition" is singular and less formal; "conditions" is plural and more appropriate for discussing multiple aspects of economics. "Issues" is also more formal than "problems" in academic writing.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both sides of the argument regarding the advantages and disadvantages of hosting international sporting events. The first paragraph outlines the benefits, such as tourism and national pride, while the second paragraph discusses the drawbacks, including financial difficulties and environmental concerns. However, the essay could have more explicitly stated the advantages before transitioning to the disadvantages, as this would provide a clearer structure and balance.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should ensure that both perspectives are equally developed. This could involve adding a few more specific examples or elaborating on the advantages to create a more balanced discussion. Additionally, clearly stating the advantages in the introduction would set a better foundation for the argument.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The writer presents a clear position in favor of the disadvantages of hosting international sporting events, stating, “I agree more with the latter perspective.” However, the position could be reinforced throughout the essay by consistently linking back to this viewpoint after discussing the advantages. The conclusion reiterates the stance but could be more emphatic in summarizing the reasons behind it.
- How to improve: To maintain a clear position, the writer should consistently refer back to their opinion after presenting each point. For example, after discussing the benefits, the writer could add a sentence that contrasts these benefits with the disadvantages they will later discuss. This would help to remind the reader of the writer’s stance throughout the essay.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas related to both the advantages and disadvantages of hosting international sporting events. However, some points lack depth. For instance, while the essay mentions tourism boosting local businesses, it does not provide specific statistics or examples of countries that have benefited in this way. Similarly, the environmental concerns could be elaborated upon with more specific examples of the impact on local ecosystems.
- How to improve: To strengthen the support for ideas, the writer should include more detailed examples and possibly statistics that illustrate the points made. This could involve mentioning specific successful events and their economic impacts or citing studies on environmental degradation caused by such events. Providing a more thorough exploration of each point will enhance the overall argument.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, discussing the impact of hosting international sporting events. However, the phrase "due to the backward development of some countries" could be seen as a deviation from the main topic, as it introduces a potentially controversial viewpoint without adequate context or sensitivity. Additionally, the term "backward development" could be perceived as pejorative.
- How to improve: To maintain focus and relevance, the writer should ensure that all language used is neutral and respectful. Avoiding potentially controversial terms will help keep the discussion centered on the topic without introducing unnecessary bias. Furthermore, the writer should ensure that all points made directly relate back to the advantages and disadvantages of hosting events, avoiding any tangential discussions.

By addressing these areas for improvement, the essay could achieve a higher band score in the Task Response criteria.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure, beginning with an introduction that outlines the two opposing views and the writer’s stance. The body paragraphs are organized into two distinct sections: one discussing the advantages and the other addressing the disadvantages of hosting international sporting events. However, the transition between the two views could be smoother. For instance, the phrase "On the other hand" effectively signals a shift, but the connection between the two paragraphs could be strengthened by briefly summarizing the previous point before introducing the counterargument.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using transitional phrases that explicitly link the two perspectives. For example, after discussing the benefits, you might add a sentence that acknowledges the potential drawbacks before introducing the opposing view. This would create a more cohesive argument and help the reader follow the progression of ideas more easily.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively employs paragraphs to separate different ideas, which is crucial for clarity. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the argument, and the introduction and conclusion are clearly delineated. However, the second body paragraph could benefit from clearer topic sentences that directly relate to the main argument of the paragraph. For example, the first sentence could explicitly state that the disadvantages of hosting events are significant and should not be overlooked.
- How to improve: Strengthenthe topic sentences in each paragraph to clearly reflect the main idea. For instance, in the paragraph discussing disadvantages, you could start with a sentence like, "Despite the potential benefits, hosting international sporting events can lead to significant economic and environmental challenges." This would provide a clearer focus for the reader and enhance the overall coherence of the essay.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs several cohesive devices, such as "first," "second," and "on the one hand," which help to structure the argument. However, the range of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and there are instances where the connections between ideas could be more explicit. For example, the phrase "as a consequence" is used effectively, but the essay could benefit from additional devices like "furthermore," "in addition," or "however" to indicate relationships between ideas more clearly.
- How to improve: Diversify the use of cohesive devices throughout the essay. Incorporate a mix of conjunctions and transitional phrases to enhance the flow of ideas. For example, when transitioning from the advantages to the disadvantages, you could use "Nevertheless" or "Conversely" to signal the shift in perspective. Additionally, consider using pronouns or synonyms to refer back to previously mentioned concepts, which can help reduce repetition and improve cohesion.

By addressing these areas, the essay can achieve a higher level of coherence and cohesion, potentially raising the band score in this criterion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms such as "influx," "significant," and "national pride." However, the repetition of certain phrases, such as "hosting international sporting events," indicates a limited variety in expression. Additionally, phrases like "huge benefits" and "adverse aspects" could be expanded with synonyms to enhance lexical diversity.
- How to improve: To improve, the writer should aim to incorporate synonyms and varied expressions. For example, instead of repeatedly using "hosting," alternatives like "organizing" or "conducting" could be employed. Additionally, using more descriptive adjectives or adverbs could enrich the vocabulary, such as "substantial" instead of "huge" or "detrimental" instead of "adverse."
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains instances of imprecise vocabulary usage. For example, the phrase "backward development" is vague and could be interpreted in various ways. Additionally, "huge people" is awkward and should be replaced with "large numbers of people" or "many individuals." The expression "disadvantage aspects" is also incorrect; it should be "disadvantageous aspects" or "disadvantages."
- How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should focus on using more specific terms that convey the intended meaning clearly. For instance, instead of "backward development," consider "underdeveloped infrastructure" or "limited resources." Furthermore, reviewing common collocations and ensuring that phrases are grammatically correct will help in achieving greater precision.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally demonstrates a good level of spelling accuracy; however, there are a few errors that detract from the overall quality. For instance, "Lao" should be "Laos," and "the athlete’s living costs" should be "athletes’ living costs" to reflect the plural form correctly. Additionally, "increasing rate" should be "growth rate."
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, the writer should engage in regular proofreading practices. Utilizing tools such as spell checkers or grammar checkers can help identify errors before submission. Additionally, maintaining a list of commonly misspelled words and practicing them can enhance overall spelling skills.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a competent use of vocabulary, there are areas for improvement in range, precision, and spelling. By diversifying vocabulary, ensuring precise usage, and enhancing spelling accuracy, the writer can work towards achieving a higher band score in the Lexical Resource criterion.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures, including complex sentences and conditional clauses. For example, phrases like "Although both views hold merit" and "First, hosting such events can lead to a significant influx of tourism" showcase an ability to use varied grammatical forms effectively. However, there are instances of repetitive structures, particularly in the way arguments are introduced (e.g., "First," "Second," "On the one hand," "On the other hand"). This can make the writing feel formulaic.
- How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, consider using more diverse transition phrases and varying the way points are introduced. Instead of consistently using "First" and "Second," try alternatives like "To begin with," "Additionally," or "Conversely." Incorporating more relative clauses or participial phrases could also add complexity to your sentences.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains good grammatical accuracy, but there are notable errors that detract from clarity. For instance, the phrase "due to the backward development of some countries" could be more clearly expressed as "due to the underdeveloped infrastructure in some countries." Additionally, punctuation issues, such as the lack of a space after commas (e.g., "in conclusion,while"), can disrupt the flow of reading. The use of "adverse aspects" instead of "disadvantages" is somewhat awkward and may confuse readers.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, focus on refining sentence clarity and ensuring proper punctuation. Review the essay for run-on sentences or comma splices, and ensure that each sentence clearly conveys its intended meaning. Additionally, consider using simpler language where appropriate to avoid awkward phrasing. Regular practice with grammar exercises and reading high-quality essays can also help reinforce correct usage.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid command of grammatical range and accuracy, attention to sentence variety and grammatical precision will elevate the writing to a higher level.

Bài sửa mẫu

There is a growing belief about the impact of hosting a large-scale sporting competition. While some individuals argue that there are substantial benefits for a country to hold this honor, others believe that the opposite is also true. Although both views hold merit, I agree more with the latter perspective.

On the one hand, there are several reasons why it is believed that hosting international sporting events can bring significant potential advantages. First, hosting such events can lead to a considerable influx of tourism, which can enhance local businesses, generate employment opportunities, and increase revenue through tourism-related activities. For instance, the preparation for and execution of major events creates temporary jobs in construction, hospitality, security, and event management, providing income opportunities for many. Second, successful hosting can promote national pride and unity, bringing people together in celebration and enhancing social cohesion. Sporting events provide an opportunity for a country to showcase its culture, history, and achievements on a global stage, instilling a sense of pride among citizens.

On the other hand, I firmly believe that holding a major international sporting event can bring several disadvantages. First, due to the lack of necessary conditions and capabilities in some countries, they may struggle to organize a large event effectively. For example, Laos is one of the countries with a low economic growth rate, and when an Asian Cup is held there, they cannot afford the costs of accommodating athletes, leading many cities to face financial difficulties long after the events have ended. Second, when a country hosts such an event, large numbers of people from around the world arrive. As a consequence, this influx can increase the rates of pollution and habitat destruction due to the amount of waste generated. Building sports facilities and related infrastructure often requires large areas of land, which can lead to the destruction of natural habitats, impacting local flora and fauna.

In conclusion, while there are valid arguments on both sides of the debate regarding the impact of hosting an international sporting event, I firmly believe that it brings more disadvantages to a nation, particularly concerning economic conditions and environmental issues.