Some people think it is a good thing for senior managers to have much higher salaries than the other workers in a company

In contemporary society, there is a prevailing belief that senior executives should receive substantially higher salaries compared to other employees within a company. I am inclined to agree with this viewpoint, as senior management roles entail greater responsibilities and contributions to organizational success.

To begin with, senior personnel bear considerable accountability for the performance and reputation of an organization. They are entrusted with decision-making authority and are expected to navigate complex challenges while ensuring the company's prosperity. This often entails taking calculated risks and shouldering significant pressure to meet strategic objectives. For instance, CEOs and senior managers are tasked with setting the direction of the company and driving growth, responsibilities that necessitate sound judgment and decisive action. Consequently, their leadership roles justify the higher salaries they command.

Furthermore, the experience and expertise of senior staff members justify their higher compensation. Senior executives typically possess a wealth of industry knowledge and have honed their skills through years of dedicated service. Their insights and strategic acumen are invaluable assets in steering the company through competitive markets and economic uncertainties. Moreover, their educational qualifications and professional achievements underscore their commitment to continuous learning and advancement. This combination of experience and education sets them apart from other employees and justifies the disparity in salaries.

In conclusion, the practice of rewarding senior managers with higher salaries is justified by the scope of their responsibilities, depth of expertise, and role in driving organizational success. While disparities in salaries may initially seem inequitable, they reflect the unique contributions and leadership qualities of senior executives. Therefore, I contend that it is appropriate for senior managers to receive substantially higher salaries compared to other workers in a company.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"In contemporary society" -> "In the contemporary context"
Explanation: "In the contemporary context" offers a more precise and academic framing of the discussion, emphasizing the relevance of the issue to current societal conditions.
"I am inclined to agree" -> "This essay supports"
Explanation: Shifting from "I am inclined to agree" to "This essay supports" removes the first-person perspective, aligning with the objective tone expected in academic writing.
"senior personnel" -> "senior executives"
Explanation: Consistency in terminology is crucial in academic writing. Using "senior executives" throughout the essay maintains clarity and specificity.
"bear considerable accountability" -> "are significantly accountable"
Explanation: "Are significantly accountable" is more direct and academically appropriate, conveying the extent of responsibility without the informality of "bear."
"They are entrusted with" -> "They are endowed with"
Explanation: "Endowed with" elevates the language by replacing a common phrase with a term that conveys a sense of authority and responsibility, fitting the academic style.
"ensuring the company’s prosperity" -> "ensuring the organization’s prosperity"
Explanation: Maintaining consistent terminology ("organization" instead of switching between "organization" and "company") enhances the formal tone and clarity of the essay.
"taking calculated risks" -> "undertaking calculated risks"
Explanation: "Undertaking" is a more formal verb that fits the academic context better than "taking," which can be considered too simplistic for this setting.
"shouldering significant pressure" -> "bearing significant pressure"
Explanation: "Bearing" is more academically appropriate in this context, aligning with the formal tone of discussing responsibilities.
"driving growth" -> "fostering growth"
Explanation: "Fostering growth" is a more precise term that conveys a strategic and nurturing role, which is more suitable for the academic tone of the essay.
"sound judgment" -> "astute judgment"
Explanation: "Astute judgment" elevates the language by implying a high level of intelligence and discernment, which is more fitting for the academic context.
"educational qualifications" -> "academic credentials"
Explanation: "Academic credentials" is a more formal and specific term that better conveys the professional achievements in an academic setting.
"disparities in salaries" -> "disparities in compensation"
Explanation: "Disparities in compensation" is a broader term that encompasses not only salaries but also other forms of remuneration, making it more appropriate for a formal academic discussion.
"inequitable" -> "inequitable conditions"
Explanation: Adding "conditions" provides clarity and specificity, emphasizing that the discussion pertains to the conditions of salary disparities, which enhances the academic tone.
"I contend" -> "It is contended"
Explanation: Changing "I contend" to "It is contended" removes the first-person narrative, aligning with the objective and formal tone expected in academic writing.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses all aspects of the prompt. It discusses the belief that senior managers should have higher salaries than other workers, provides reasons supporting this viewpoint, and concludes with a clear stance.
- How to improve: To enhance comprehensiveness, consider anticipating potential counterarguments and addressing them within the essay to demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear and consistent position supporting the idea of senior managers receiving higher salaries. Each paragraph reinforces this stance through well-structured arguments and examples.
- How to improve: To further strengthen clarity, ensure that each paragraph begins with a topic sentence explicitly stating the essay’s position, facilitating a smoother flow of ideas.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively presents, extends, and supports its ideas. It elaborates on the responsibilities of senior managers, their experience and expertise, and how these factors justify higher salaries. Specific examples and logical reasoning are employed to bolster arguments.
- How to improve: To enhance idea development, consider providing more diverse examples or case studies to illustrate the points made, adding depth and richness to the analysis.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay remains focused on the topic throughout, discussing the justification for senior managers’ higher salaries without veering off into unrelated areas.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, ensure that each paragraph directly relates to the central argument and avoid introducing tangential ideas that distract from the main discussion.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates strong task response, clarity, idea development, and relevance to the topic, there is always room for refinement. By anticipating counterarguments, explicitly stating the position in each paragraph, enriching examples, and maintaining strict relevance, the essay can further elevate its coherence and persuasiveness.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a strong logical organization by effectively introducing the topic, presenting clear arguments in support of the viewpoint, and concluding with a summary. Each paragraph builds upon the previous one, leading the reader through a coherent line of reasoning. For example, the essay begins by introducing the topic and the author’s stance, followed by paragraphs that elaborate on the reasons supporting this viewpoint, and ends with a succinct conclusion that reinforces the argument.
- How to improve: While the logical organization is generally effective, ensuring that each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next could further enhance coherence. Using transitional phrases or sentences between paragraphs can help to maintain the flow of ideas and guide the reader through the essay seamlessly.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively utilizes paragraphs to structure its content. Each paragraph focuses on a distinct aspect of the argument, such as the responsibilities of senior managers or their expertise, allowing for clarity and coherence in the presentation of ideas. Additionally, the paragraphs are of appropriate length, neither overly long nor too short, contributing to the overall readability of the essay.
- How to improve: While the paragraphing is generally well-executed, ensuring that each paragraph contains a clear topic sentence could further strengthen the structure of the essay. A topic sentence at the beginning of each paragraph acts as a roadmap, guiding the reader and providing clarity about the main idea being discussed.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively employs a range of cohesive devices to connect ideas and enhance coherence. Examples include the use of transition words and phrases such as "to begin with," "furthermore," and "in conclusion," which help to signal shifts between different parts of the essay. Additionally, pronouns and cohesive referencing are used appropriately to maintain coherence within sentences and paragraphs.
- How to improve: While the essay demonstrates competency in using cohesive devices, incorporating a greater variety of transitions and synonyms could further enrich the text. Experimenting with different cohesive devices can prevent repetition and add nuance to the connections between ideas, thereby enhancing the overall coherence of the essay. Additionally, ensuring consistent and precise use of pronouns and referencing throughout the essay can help to avoid confusion and maintain clarity for the reader.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of vocabulary, employing diverse lexical choices to articulate ideas effectively. For instance, phrases like "prevailing belief," "considerable accountability," "strategic acumen," and "economic uncertainties" enrich the essay by offering nuanced expressions to convey complex concepts.
- How to improve: While the essay showcases a strong vocabulary, incorporating specialized terminology relevant to organizational management or economic theory could enhance precision and sophistication further. For instance, using terms like "fiduciary responsibility," "market dynamics," or "strategic foresight" could elevate the discourse, demonstrating a deeper understanding of the topic.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally employs vocabulary precisely, effectively conveying ideas with clarity. However, in some instances, there is room for improvement. For example, the phrase "This often entails taking calculated risks" could be made more precise by specifying the nature of these risks (e.g., financial risks, strategic risks) to provide a clearer picture of the challenges senior managers face.
- How to improve: To enhance precision, consider using more specific terms that accurately capture the intended meaning. For instance, instead of "significant pressure," you could opt for "intense scrutiny" or "heightened expectations," depending on the context. Additionally, strive to avoid vague or ambiguous language to ensure clarity and coherence throughout the essay.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a high level of spelling accuracy, with no apparent errors detracting from readability or comprehension. Proper spelling enhances the professionalism and credibility of the writing, contributing to a polished presentation.
- How to improve: Maintaining a rigorous approach to proofreading and utilizing spelling checkers can help uphold the standard of spelling accuracy exhibited in the essay. Additionally, consciously reviewing commonly misspelled words or areas of personal difficulty can further mitigate the risk of spelling errors creeping into the writing. Overall, continuing to prioritize accuracy in spelling will reinforce the overall effectiveness of written communication.

Overall, while the essay exhibits a strong command of vocabulary and spelling accuracy, refining precision through more specific lexical choices and incorporating specialized terminology could elevate the sophistication of the discourse. Moreover, maintaining a vigilant approach to spelling accuracy and embracing opportunities for continuous improvement will contribute to further enhancing the quality of written expression.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures. It employs complex sentences alongside simpler ones, utilizing phrases, clauses, and transitions effectively. For instance, it employs introductory phrases ("To begin with", "Furthermore", "In conclusion") to structure paragraphs, complex sentences ("Their insights and strategic acumen are invaluable assets in steering the company through competitive markets and economic uncertainties"), and compound sentences ("This often entails taking calculated risks and shouldering significant pressure to meet strategic objectives"). These structures enhance coherence and readability.
- How to improve: While the essay already showcases a diverse range of sentence structures, further enriching it with occasional use of rhetorical devices like parallelism, rhetorical questions, or varied sentence lengths could elevate the sophistication of expression. For instance, incorporating occasional rhetorical questions could engage the reader more deeply, encouraging critical reflection on the points presented.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a high level of grammatical accuracy overall. Sentence structures are generally well-formed, with correct subject-verb agreement and appropriate use of verb tenses. Punctuation is used effectively to delineate clauses and phrases, aiding comprehension. For example, commas are appropriately used to set off introductory phrases ("To begin with", "Furthermore") and to separate items in a series. Additionally, the essay maintains consistency in pronoun usage and avoids major grammatical errors.
- How to improve: While the essay maintains a strong level of grammatical accuracy, attention to minor issues such as consistency in tense usage and variation in sentence structures could further enhance clarity and sophistication. For instance, ensuring consistent tense usage throughout the essay can prevent confusion and maintain coherence. Additionally, varying the lengths and structures of sentences slightly more could add further dynamism to the writing, making it even more engaging for the reader.

Bài sửa mẫu

In the contemporary context, there is a prevailing belief that senior executives should receive substantially higher salaries compared to other employees within a company. This essay supports this viewpoint, as senior management roles entail greater responsibilities and contributions to organizational success.

To begin with, senior personnel are significantly accountable for the performance and reputation of an organization. They are endowed with decision-making authority and are expected to navigate complex challenges while ensuring the organization’s prosperity. This often involves undertaking calculated risks and bearing significant pressure to meet strategic objectives. For instance, CEOs and senior managers are tasked with setting the direction of the company and fostering growth, responsibilities that necessitate astute judgment and decisive action. Consequently, their leadership roles justify the higher salaries they command.

Furthermore, the experience and expertise of senior staff members justify their higher compensation. Senior executives typically possess a wealth of industry knowledge and have honed their skills through years of dedicated service. Their insights and strategic acumen are invaluable assets in steering the company through competitive markets and economic uncertainties. Moreover, their academic credentials and professional achievements underscore their commitment to continuous learning and advancement. This combination of experience and education sets them apart from other employees and justifies the disparities in compensation.

In conclusion, it is contended that the practice of rewarding senior managers with higher salaries is justified by the scope of their responsibilities, depth of expertise, and role in driving organizational success. While disparities in compensation may seem inequitable at first glance, they reflect the unique contributions and leadership qualities of senior executives. Therefore, it is appropriate for senior managers to receive substantially higher salaries compared to other workers in a company.