Some people think that employers should not care about the way their employees dress, because what matters is the quality of their work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In workplaces, the question of whether bosses should interfere in their employees’ clothes is a topic that receives diverse opinions and considerations. While some argue that it is more important to focus on the quality of work, others believe that appearance plays a crucial role in various aspects of work life. This essay will discuss both sides and give a personal opinion.
People who support free clothes claim that what the employees wear does not have a bad impact on work quality and it can also increase creativity. The quality of work should be the primary concern for employers. The way their staff dress can not affect their performance at work so we should not care about it. In addition, wearing fabulous clothes or unusual ones can improve the assignment’s quality because it brings workers creative ideas and new inspirations.
Others argue that the difference in clothes can distract other coworkers and worsen the image of the company. First, the way employees present themselves can influence the successful percentage as it plays an important role in the customer’s first impression. For example, if the businessman's appearance is elegant and formal, he will be more trustworthy and more likely to sell the products. Second, in the office, there can be people wearing vests or luxurious dresses as well as people wearing pajamas. This will establish inequality between cooperates, which distracts people from their main duties. They may devote more time to preparing the clothes instead of planning today's timetable.
In conclusion, after considering both perspectives, I believe that employers should encourage their workers to wear formal clothes as a personal choice. They should create a workplace that is both professional and comfortable to form a better working environment for every worker.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

"interfere in" -> "regulate"
Explanation: "Regulate" is more precise and formal than "interfere in," which can carry a negative connotation and is less specific in the context of workplace dress codes.
"free clothes" -> "a relaxed dress code"
Explanation: The term "free clothes" is vague and informal. "A relaxed dress code" is a clearer and more formal way to describe a policy that allows employees to choose their attire.
"does not have a bad impact on" -> "does not negatively impact"
Explanation: "Does not have a bad impact on" is awkward and informal. "Does not negatively impact" is more concise and formal.
"fabulous clothes or unusual ones" -> "distinctive or unconventional attire"
Explanation: "Fabulous clothes or unusual ones" is informal and lacks precision. "Distinctive or unconventional attire" is more formal and accurately describes clothing that stands out or deviates from the norm.
"can not" -> "cannot"
Explanation: "Cannot" is the standard spelling in formal writing, whereas "can not" is less common and may be considered less formal.
"so we should not care about it" -> "thus, it should not be a concern"
Explanation: "So we should not care about it" is informal and uses the first-person plural, which is less appropriate in academic writing. "Thus, it should not be a concern" maintains an objective tone and is more formal.
"wearing fabulous clothes or unusual ones can improve the assignment’s quality" -> "donning distinctive or unconventional attire may enhance the quality of work"
Explanation: The original phrase is informal and lacks clarity. The suggested revision is more formal and precise, replacing "fabulous clothes or unusual ones" with "distinctive or unconventional attire" and "improve the assignment’s quality" with "enhance the quality of work."
"the difference in clothes" -> "variations in attire"
Explanation: "The difference in clothes" is vague and informal. "Variations in attire" is more specific and formal.
"worsen the image of the company" -> "detract from the company’s image"
Explanation: "Worsen the image of the company" is less formal and slightly awkward. "Detract from the company’s image" is more formal and flows better in academic writing.
"successful percentage" -> "likelihood of success"
Explanation: "Successful percentage" is unclear and not a standard phrase. "Likelihood of success" is more precise and appropriate for academic writing.
"businessman’s appearance" -> "business professional’s appearance"
Explanation: "Businessman" is gender-specific and somewhat informal. "Business professional" is gender-neutral and more formal.
"vests or luxurious dresses" -> "vests or formal attire"
Explanation: "Luxurious dresses" is overly specific and slightly informal. "Formal attire" is more inclusive and maintains a formal tone.
"inequality between cooperates" -> "inequality among employees"
Explanation: "Cooperates" is incorrect in this context and unclear. "Employees" is the correct term and ensures clarity and formality.
"preparing the clothes" -> "selecting their attire"
Explanation: "Preparing the clothes" is informal and vague. "Selecting their attire" is more precise and formal.
"planning today’s timetable" -> "focusing on their daily tasks"
Explanation: "Planning today’s timetable" is a bit informal and specific to time management. "Focusing on their daily tasks" is broader and more appropriate for discussing work priorities in a formal context.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Task Response: 6

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay adequately addresses both sides of the argument regarding whether employers should dictate their employees’ attire. It acknowledges the viewpoint that employers should prioritize work quality over attire and presents arguments supporting this stance. Additionally, it considers the opposing perspective, highlighting concerns about the impact of attire on workplace dynamics and company image.
- How to improve: While the essay covers both perspectives, it could strengthen its analysis by providing more nuanced reasoning and evidence. For instance, delving deeper into the potential psychological effects of attire on productivity or citing studies on workplace dress codes could enhance the discussion.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position that employers should allow their employees to choose their attire, advocating for a balance between professionalism and individual comfort. This stance is evident throughout the essay, particularly in the concluding paragraph.
- How to improve: To further reinforce the clarity of the position, the essay could explicitly state the stance in the introduction and reiterate it in the topic sentences of each body paragraph. This would ensure consistency and coherence in conveying the argument.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas on both sides of the argument and supports them with reasoning and examples. It discusses how attire may or may not impact work quality and workplace dynamics, providing relevant examples to illustrate each point.
- How to improve: To extend and strengthen the ideas presented, the essay could include additional evidence such as statistics, case studies, or expert opinions. This would add depth to the analysis and make the arguments more compelling to the reader.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay largely stays on topic by addressing the issue of whether employers should regulate employee attire. However, there are some instances where the discussion slightly deviates, such as when mentioning the impact of attire on creativity.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the essay should ensure that all points made directly relate to the central question posed in the prompt. This may involve refraining from introducing tangential ideas or, if relevant, explicitly connecting them back to the main argument.

Overall, while the essay effectively addresses the prompt and presents a coherent argument, there is room for improvement in providing more in-depth analysis, reinforcing the clarity of the position, strengthening the supporting evidence, and maintaining strict relevance to the topic.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a generally logical organization by presenting both sides of the argument in separate paragraphs. The introduction sets up the debate effectively, followed by body paragraphs that each address a different viewpoint. The conclusion neatly summarizes the discussion and presents a balanced personal opinion. However, within paragraphs, there are instances where ideas could be more clearly connected. For instance, the transition between discussing the impact of clothes on work quality and the potential distraction they pose to coworkers could be smoother.
- How to improve: To enhance logical coherence, consider using transition words and phrases more consistently to guide the reader through the essay’s progression. For example, using transitional phrases like "Furthermore" or "On the other hand" can help signal shifts between different arguments and maintain clarity in the essay’s structure.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively employs paragraphs to organize ideas, with each paragraph focusing on a distinct aspect of the argument. However, there is room for improvement in paragraph structure and coherence. Some paragraphs contain multiple ideas without clear delineation, leading to a slight lack of cohesion within them. Additionally, the conclusion could be strengthened by summarizing key points from the body paragraphs more explicitly.
- How to improve: Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that introduces the main idea, followed by supporting sentences that elaborate on that idea. Aim for unity within paragraphs by focusing on one central theme or argument per paragraph. In the conclusion, reiterate the main arguments presented in the body paragraphs to reinforce the essay’s coherence and leave a lasting impression on the reader.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay utilizes cohesive devices to connect ideas within and between sentences, albeit somewhat sparingly. Examples include transitional phrases like "while," "first," and "second," which help signal shifts between different arguments. However, there is room for improvement in diversifying the range of cohesive devices used. Additionally, some transitions could be more seamless to enhance the overall flow of the essay.
- How to improve: Introduce a wider variety of cohesive devices, such as pronouns ("this," "these"), conjunctions ("moreover," "nevertheless"), and transitional adverbs ("consequently," "subsequently"). Experiment with different sentence structures to create smoother transitions between ideas, ensuring that the progression of arguments feels natural and logical to the reader. Additionally, consider revisiting the essay to refine existing transitions and eliminate any instances of abrupt shifts between ideas.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of vocabulary, incorporating varied expressions such as "diverse opinions," "crucial role," "fabulous clothes," "inequality," and "professional and comfortable." However, there’s room for enhancement in terms of sophistication and nuance. For instance, instead of using common phrases like "plays an important role," the essay could employ more refined language choices to elevate the lexical richness further.
- How to improve: To enhance the lexical resource, strive for more sophisticated synonyms and idiomatic expressions. Consider phrases like "exerts a pivotal influence" or "fosters disparity," which can add depth to your vocabulary arsenal. Additionally, incorporating domain-specific terminology related to workplace dynamics and attire can elevate the lexical range, making the essay more polished and authoritative.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally employs vocabulary with moderate precision. However, there are instances where certain terms could be more accurately chosen for clarity and impact. For example, the phrase "difference in clothes" could be refined to "attire disparity," offering a more precise depiction of the issue at hand. Likewise, using "cooperates" instead of "colleagues" may lead to ambiguity, as "cooperates" typically refers to business entities rather than individuals within an organization.
- How to improve: Aim for greater precision by selecting words that precisely convey your intended meaning. Consider the context and connotations of each term to ensure clarity and effectiveness. Utilize a thesaurus or context-specific dictionaries to explore alternative word choices that align more precisely with your intended message. Additionally, proofreading and revising the essay attentively can help identify and rectify any instances of imprecise vocabulary usage.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay demonstrates a satisfactory level of spelling accuracy, with minimal instances of misspelled words. However, there are a few errors such as "cooperates" instead of "colleagues" and "worsen" instead of "worse," which slightly detract from the overall coherence and professionalism of the essay.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, consider employing spell-checking tools during the writing process to identify and rectify any spelling errors promptly. Additionally, allocate sufficient time for proofreading and editing to ensure that all words are spelled correctly. Developing a habit of reviewing written work meticulously can significantly contribute to improving spelling proficiency over time.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a satisfactory range of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For instance, the author employs simple sentences for clarity and conciseness ("The quality of work should be the primary concern for employers."), compound sentences to connect related ideas ("Others argue that the difference in clothes can distract other coworkers and worsen the image of the company."), and complex sentences to present nuanced arguments ("For example, if the businessman’s appearance is elegant and formal, he will be more trustworthy and more likely to sell the products.").
- How to improve: To enhance variety further, consider incorporating more complex sentence structures such as conditional sentences or sentences with introductory phrases/clauses. Additionally, aim to vary sentence lengths to maintain reader engagement and improve the overall flow of the essay.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay demonstrates fairly accurate grammar and punctuation usage. However, there are several instances where errors occur. For example, there are occasional issues with subject-verb agreement ("The way their staff dress can not affect their performance at work so we should not care about it."), punctuation errors such as missing commas or incorrect usage ("Second, in the office, there can be people wearing vests or luxurious dresses as well as people wearing pajamas."), and awkward phrasing ("This will establish inequality between cooperates, which distracts people from their main duties." should be "This will establish inequality among colleagues, which may distract them from their primary responsibilities.").
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, focus on practicing subject-verb agreement rules, particularly in complex sentences. Review the use of punctuation marks, especially commas for clarity and to avoid run-on sentences. Additionally, consider restructuring awkward sentences for smoother readability. Regular proofreading and seeking feedback from peers or instructors can help in identifying and correcting such errors.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates competency in grammatical range and accuracy, there is room for refinement, particularly in enhancing sentence structure variety and ensuring consistent grammar and punctuation usage. Engaging in targeted practice and seeking feedback can assist in achieving a higher band score in this criterion.

Bài sửa mẫu

In workplaces, the debate over whether employers should intervene in their employees’ attire garners various viewpoints and considerations. While some argue that emphasizing the quality of work is paramount, others contend that appearance holds significance in different facets of work life. This essay will explore both stances and offer a personal perspective.

Advocates for casual attire posit that employees’ clothing choices do not adversely affect work quality and may even spur creativity. They assert that employers should prioritize work quality, as attire does not negatively impact job performance. Therefore, it should not be a concern. Moreover, donning distinctive or unconventional attire may enhance the quality of work by fostering creative ideas and fresh inspirations.

Conversely, opponents argue that attire disparities can detract from the company’s image and disrupt workplace harmony. Firstly, employees’ presentation can sway the likelihood of success, significantly influencing customers’ initial impressions. For instance, a professionally attired businessperson exudes trustworthiness, increasing the likelihood of successful transactions. Secondly, within the office, varying attire—from vests to pajamas—can breed inequality among employees, diverting attention from core responsibilities. This divergence may lead to excessive time spent on attire selection rather than focusing on daily tasks.

In conclusion, after weighing both perspectives, I advocate for a balanced approach where employers encourage their workers to select attire that aligns with a relaxed dress code, allowing for personal choice. This approach fosters a professional yet comfortable workplace environment conducive to enhanced productivity for all employees.