Some people think that environmental problems are too big for individuals to solve. Others, however, believe that the problems cannot be solved if individuals do not take actions. Discuss both views and give your own opinion
Some people think that environmental problems are too big for individuals to solve. Others, however, believe that the problems cannot be solved if individuals do not take actions. Discuss both views and give your own opinion
It is believed by some people that the environmental issues are too vast for individuals to deal with, therefore it should be solved by the government, while others suppose that the problems can only be tackled with individual actions. This essay will present both of these ideas and prove the important roles that both parties play.
On the one hand, there are some areas of authority that ordinary people cannot control. Firstly, citizens have no ability to interfere with the laws of a nation. Only the government can impose strict punishments on individuals and organizations that seriously damage the environment. For instance, lawmakers can introduce laws to establish limits on air pollution from factories in order to minimize carbon dioxide footprints. Additionally, the government is capable of launching educational campaigns in the media and schools in order to raise awareness among the public about the benefits of protecting the ecosystem.
On the other hand, individuals play a vital role in solving environmental problems. First of all, each individual should eliminate habits that lead to environmental harm. For instance, the widespread adoption of sustainable practices, such as using reusable bags and minimizing water consumption, can significantly reduce waste and water pollution. Moreover, individuals can advocate for environmental protection through community activism, raising awareness about environmental issues, and engaging in political campaigns to push for stronger environmental policies.
To sum up, it is obvious that individuals alone cannot resolve environmental issues; however, they can still contribute meaningfully by following government laws and adopting environmentally-friendly habits.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
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"It is believed by some people" -> "It is widely believed"
Explanation: "It is widely believed" is a more concise and formal way to express a general opinion, enhancing the academic tone of the sentence. -
"the environmental issues are too vast" -> "the environmental issues are too complex"
Explanation: "Complex" is a more precise term than "vast" in this context, as it accurately describes the intricacies and multifaceted nature of environmental issues. -
"should be solved by the government" -> "should be addressed by the government"
Explanation: "Addressed" is a more formal and precise term than "solved," which is somewhat simplistic and less specific in this context. -
"suppose" -> "believe"
Explanation: "Believe" is more direct and formal than "suppose," which can imply a less certain or speculative opinion. -
"the important roles that both parties play" -> "the crucial roles that both parties assume"
Explanation: "Assume" is more formal and precise than "play," and "crucial" emphasizes the significance of the roles more effectively in an academic context. -
"have no ability to interfere" -> "lack the authority to intervene"
Explanation: "Lack the authority to intervene" is more specific and formal, emphasizing the legal and regulatory aspects of government actions. -
"Only the government can impose" -> "Only governments have the authority to impose"
Explanation: "Governments have the authority to impose" is more precise and formal, clarifying that it is not just the government in general but governments in their capacity as authorities. -
"introduce laws to establish limits" -> "enact legislation to impose limits"
Explanation: "Enact legislation" is a more formal and precise term than "introduce laws," and "impose limits" is more direct than "establish limits." -
"launch educational campaigns" -> "initiate educational campaigns"
Explanation: "Initiate" is a more formal synonym for "launch," fitting better in an academic context. -
"raise awareness among the public" -> "raise public awareness"
Explanation: "Raise public awareness" is a more concise and formal expression, commonly used in academic and professional writing. -
"each individual should eliminate" -> "each individual should eliminate"
Explanation: This is a typographical error, correcting it to maintain the integrity of the text. -
"widespread adoption of sustainable practices" -> "widespread adoption of sustainable practices"
Explanation: This is a typographical error, correcting it to maintain the integrity of the text. -
"can significantly reduce" -> "can substantially reduce"
Explanation: "Substantially" is a more formal and precise term than "significantly," enhancing the academic tone. -
"advocate for environmental protection" -> "advocate environmental protection"
Explanation: Removing "for" after "advocate" corrects the grammatical structure, making the phrase more direct and formal. -
"engaging in political campaigns" -> "engaging in political activism"
Explanation: "Activism" is a more specific and formal term than "campaigns," which is somewhat vague and less precise in this context. -
"it is obvious that individuals alone cannot resolve" -> "it is evident that individuals alone cannot address"
Explanation: "Evident" is a more formal synonym for "obvious," and "address" is a more precise term than "resolve" in this context, fitting better with the discussion of environmental issues.
Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8
Band Score for Task Response: 8
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Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both views presented in the prompt. The first paragraph outlines the perspective that environmental problems are too significant for individuals to tackle, citing the government’s role in enforcing laws and raising awareness. The second paragraph presents the opposing view, emphasizing the importance of individual actions in combating environmental issues. This balanced discussion demonstrates a thorough understanding of the prompt.
- How to improve: To enhance this aspect, the essay could benefit from a more explicit acknowledgment of the nuances within each perspective. For instance, providing specific examples of successful individual initiatives or government policies could strengthen the argument. Additionally, a more detailed conclusion that synthesizes both views before stating a personal opinion would provide a clearer resolution to the discussion.
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Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position that both the government and individuals have important roles in addressing environmental issues. However, the personal opinion is somewhat understated, appearing more as a summary rather than a definitive stance. The phrase "it is obvious that individuals alone cannot resolve environmental issues" suggests a leaning towards the government’s role but lacks a strong assertion of the author’s viewpoint.
- How to improve: To improve clarity of position, the author should explicitly state their opinion in the introduction and reiterate it in the conclusion. This could involve a sentence that clearly articulates which side they lean towards or how they believe the roles should be balanced, thus reinforcing their stance throughout the essay.
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Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents relevant ideas and supports them with examples, such as the role of government in enforcing laws and the impact of individual actions like using reusable bags. However, the development of these ideas could be more robust. For example, while the essay mentions educational campaigns, it does not elaborate on how these campaigns have led to tangible changes in behavior or policy.
- How to improve: To enhance the presentation and support of ideas, the author should aim to provide more detailed examples and statistics where possible. For instance, citing specific studies or successful case studies of environmental initiatives could provide stronger evidence for their claims. Additionally, expanding on the implications of individual actions could deepen the discussion.
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Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay remains focused on the topic throughout, discussing both the roles of individuals and governments in addressing environmental issues. There are no significant deviations from the topic, and the content is relevant to the prompt.
- How to improve: While the essay is on topic, the author could ensure that every point made directly ties back to the central question of individual versus governmental responsibility. This could involve explicitly linking each example back to the overarching theme of the discussion, reinforcing the relevance of each point made.
In summary, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the task and presents a balanced discussion. To achieve an even higher band score, the author should focus on enhancing the clarity of their personal position, providing more detailed examples and evidence, and ensuring that all points made are tightly linked to the prompt.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8
Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 8
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Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure, with an introduction that outlines the two opposing views and a conclusion that summarizes the discussion. Each paragraph addresses a distinct aspect of the argument, with the first paragraph focusing on the government’s role and the second on individual actions. This logical organization allows the reader to follow the argument easily. For example, the transition from discussing government authority to individual responsibility is smooth and maintains a coherent flow of ideas.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using more explicit linking phrases between paragraphs. For instance, at the beginning of the second paragraph, a phrase like "Conversely" or "In contrast" could strengthen the connection between the two viewpoints. Additionally, integrating a brief summary of the previous paragraph’s main point before introducing the next could further clarify the progression of ideas.
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Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the argument. The introduction sets the stage, while the body paragraphs delve into the roles of government and individuals, respectively. This clear paragraphing aids in readability and comprehension.
- How to improve: While the paragraphing is generally effective, consider expanding the conclusion to reinforce the main arguments presented in the body. A more developed conclusion could summarize the key points discussed in each paragraph, thereby reinforcing the overall argument and providing a stronger closure to the essay.
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Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs several cohesive devices, such as "firstly," "additionally," and "for instance," which help to connect ideas within and between sentences. These devices contribute to the clarity of the argument and guide the reader through the discussion. However, the range of cohesive devices used is somewhat limited, primarily relying on basic linking words.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, consider incorporating a wider variety of transitional phrases and conjunctions. For example, using phrases like "on the contrary," "in addition," or "furthermore" can enhance the sophistication of the writing. Additionally, employing more complex cohesive devices, such as referencing back to ideas mentioned earlier (e.g., "As previously mentioned") or using synonyms to avoid repetition, can improve the overall cohesion of the essay.
Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong command of coherence and cohesion, effectively organizing ideas and using paragraphs and cohesive devices to guide the reader. With some minor adjustments, particularly in enhancing transitions and expanding the conclusion, the essay could achieve an even higher level of coherence and cohesion.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6
Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6
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Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms such as "environmental issues," "sustainable practices," and "community activism." However, the vocabulary usage tends to be somewhat repetitive, particularly with phrases like "environmental problems" and "individual actions," which appear multiple times without variation. This limits the lexical diversity that could enhance the overall quality of the essay.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer could incorporate synonyms or related terms. For example, instead of repeatedly using "environmental issues," alternatives like "ecological challenges," "environmental crises," or "sustainability concerns" could be employed. Additionally, using more varied adjectives and adverbs would enrich the descriptions and arguments presented.
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Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary accurately, but there are instances of imprecision. For example, the phrase "the environmental issues are too vast for individuals to deal with" could be interpreted as overly broad. The term "vast" might not convey the specific challenges individuals face, which could be better articulated with terms like "overwhelming" or "complex."
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should aim to choose words that convey their intended meaning more clearly. For instance, instead of saying "ordinary people cannot control," it could be more precise to say "individuals have limited influence over." This not only clarifies the statement but also enhances the overall argument’s effectiveness.
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Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good level of spelling accuracy, with no major spelling errors present. Terms like "government," "punishments," and "pollution" are correctly spelled, contributing positively to the readability of the essay.
- How to improve: While spelling is generally accurate, it is beneficial for the writer to remain vigilant about common pitfalls. Regular practice with spelling exercises, using tools like spell checkers, and reading extensively can help reinforce correct spelling habits. Additionally, the writer should consider proofreading their work to catch any minor errors that might occur under time pressure.
In summary, while the essay achieves a Band 6 for Lexical Resource, there is room for improvement in vocabulary range, precision, and maintaining spelling accuracy. By diversifying vocabulary, choosing words more carefully, and continuing to practice spelling, the writer can enhance their lexical resource and potentially achieve a higher band score in future essays.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7
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Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures, including complex sentences and conditional phrases. For example, the use of "It is believed by some people that…" introduces a passive construction effectively, while "On the one hand…" and "On the other hand…" are used to structure contrasting views clearly. However, there are moments where the sentence variety could be enhanced; for instance, the essay predominantly uses simple and compound sentences, which may limit the overall complexity and sophistication of the writing.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, consider incorporating more complex grammatical forms, such as relative clauses (e.g., "which can lead to…") and participial phrases (e.g., "Having considered both perspectives, it is clear that…"). Additionally, varying the length and rhythm of sentences can create a more engaging flow. Practicing the use of different conjunctions and transition phrases can also help in achieving a more varied sentence structure.
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Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains a good level of grammatical accuracy, with only minor errors present. For instance, the phrase "the environmental issues are too vast for individuals to deal with" is grammatically correct, but the use of "therefore it should be solved by the government" could be clearer if rephrased to "therefore, it should be the government’s responsibility to solve them." Punctuation is mostly accurate, though there are instances where commas could enhance clarity, such as before "however" in the concluding sentence.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, it is essential to proofread for common errors, such as subject-verb agreement and article usage. For example, "the environmental issues" could be simplified to "environmental issues" to avoid unnecessary definiteness. Additionally, focusing on punctuation rules, especially regarding the use of commas in complex sentences, can enhance clarity. Practicing with grammar exercises that target these specific areas can also be beneficial.
Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid command of grammatical range and accuracy, focusing on diversifying sentence structures and refining grammatical precision will help in achieving a higher band score.
Bài sửa mẫu
It is widely believed by some people that environmental issues are too vast for individuals to deal with; therefore, they should be addressed by the government. However, others suppose that these problems cannot be solved if individuals do not take action. This essay will present both of these ideas and prove the crucial roles that both parties assume.
On the one hand, there are some areas of authority that ordinary people cannot control. Firstly, citizens lack the authority to interfere with the laws of a nation. Only the government has the authority to impose strict punishments on individuals and organizations that seriously damage the environment. For instance, lawmakers can enact legislation to impose limits on air pollution from factories in order to minimize carbon dioxide footprints. Additionally, the government is capable of initiating educational campaigns in the media and schools to raise public awareness about the benefits of protecting the ecosystem.
On the other hand, individuals play a vital role in solving environmental problems. First of all, each individual should eliminate habits that lead to environmental harm. For instance, the widespread adoption of sustainable practices, such as using reusable bags and minimizing water consumption, can substantially reduce waste and water pollution. Moreover, individuals can advocate for environmental protection through community activism, raising awareness about environmental issues, and engaging in political activism to push for stronger environmental policies.
To sum up, it is evident that individuals alone cannot address environmental issues; however, they can still contribute meaningfully by following government laws and adopting environmentally friendly habits.