Some people think that environmental problems are too big for individuals to solve. Others, however, believe that these problems cannot be solved if individuals do not take actions. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Some people think that environmental problems are too big for individuals to solve. Others, however, believe that these problems cannot be solved if individuals do not take actions. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
In recent years, it has been considered by some that citizens cannot tackle environmental issues owing to its detrimental effects. Meanwhile, others think that each person should be accountable for coping with this problem. This essay is going to examine both views and argue why the latter is far more compelling.
On the one hand, it is discernible that inhabitants impossibly solve the environmental concerns. To begin with, it can be observed that the environmental problems not just include erosion or air pollution but also global warming and climate change so the cooperation between government, enterprises and citizens is essential. This is mainly because solely the authority can guide and motivate their individuals to carry out the potential solutions, minimizing the frequency of environmental issues. As an illustration, the government can implement regulations and laws to reinforce their residents and companies to change harmful behaviors such as littering and excessive consumption of emissions. Consequently, the citizens could be more responsible in conservation.
Notwithstanding the argument above, residents believe that their role in preservation is insignificant due to the considerable impact of environmental issues. They, however, do not acknowledge that their small contribution can also tackle these difficulties. Alternatively, their involvement in public area clean-up and utilization of renewable energy could dramatically affect the environmental problems. As a result, day by day, the quality of the environment might be improved substantially.
In conclusion, despite the fact that only authority could incentivise the individuals to take actions in protecting the environment, individuals need to recognize their part in preservation. It is recommended that individuals and the government should work together for mitigation of environmental issues.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
-
"it has been considered by some" -> "it is widely regarded"
Explanation: "It is widely regarded" is more precise and formal, enhancing the academic tone by implying a broader consensus among experts or scholars. -
"cannot tackle" -> "are unable to address"
Explanation: "Are unable to address" is more formal and precise, fitting better in an academic context than the more colloquial "cannot tackle." -
"owing to its detrimental effects" -> "due to its adverse effects"
Explanation: "Due to its adverse effects" is more formal and academically appropriate, replacing the less formal "owing to its detrimental effects." -
"each person should be accountable for coping with this problem" -> "each individual should be responsible for addressing this issue"
Explanation: "Each individual should be responsible for addressing this issue" uses more formal vocabulary and a more precise term ("responsible" instead of "accountable") and "addressing" instead of "coping with," which is more specific and formal. -
"This essay is going to examine" -> "This essay will examine"
Explanation: "Will examine" is more direct and formal than "is going to examine," which is slightly less formal and more conversational. -
"inhabitants impossibly solve" -> "residents are unable to resolve"
Explanation: "Residents are unable to resolve" corrects the awkward and incorrect "inhabitants impossibly solve," using more precise and grammatically correct language. -
"not just include" -> "not only include"
Explanation: "Not only include" is the correct idiomatic expression for emphasizing exclusivity, whereas "just" is informal and less precise. -
"solely the authority can guide and motivate" -> "only the authorities can guide and motivate"
Explanation: "Authorities" is the correct plural form when referring to government agencies, and "only" is more formal than "solely." -
"reinforce their individuals" -> "encourage their citizens"
Explanation: "Encourage their citizens" is more specific and appropriate in this context, replacing the awkward and unclear "reinforce their individuals." -
"to change harmful behaviors" -> "to modify harmful behaviors"
Explanation: "Modify" is a more precise and formal term than "change," which is somewhat vague and informal. -
"could be more responsible in conservation" -> "could become more proactive in conservation"
Explanation: "Become more proactive" is a more precise and formal way to describe the change in behavior, enhancing the academic tone. -
"residents believe that their role in preservation is insignificant" -> "residents contend that their role in conservation is negligible"
Explanation: "Contend" is more formal than "believe," and "negligible" is a more precise term than "insignificant" in this context. -
"do not acknowledge that their small contribution can also tackle these difficulties" -> "fail to recognize that their small contributions can also address these challenges"
Explanation: "Fail to recognize" is more formal than "do not acknowledge," and "address" is more specific than "tackle," and "challenges" is more formal than "difficulties." -
"day by day, the quality of the environment might be improved substantially" -> "daily, the quality of the environment could significantly improve"
Explanation: "Daily" is more formal than "day by day," and "could significantly improve" is a more formal and precise expression than "might be improved substantially." -
"only authority could incentivise the individuals to take actions" -> "only authorities can incentivize individuals to take action"
Explanation: "Authorities" is the correct plural form, and "can incentivize" is more formal than "could incentivise," and "action" is more appropriate than "actions" in this context. -
"individuals need to recognize their part in preservation" -> "individuals must acknowledge their role in conservation"
Explanation: "Must acknowledge" is more forceful and formal than "need to recognize," and "role" is more specific than "part," and "conservation" is more precise than "preservation."
Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8
Band Score for Task Response: 8
-
Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both views regarding the role of individuals in solving environmental problems. The first paragraph introduces the two perspectives clearly, and the body paragraphs delve into each viewpoint. The author discusses the limitations of individual action and emphasizes the necessity of government intervention, while also acknowledging the potential impact of individual efforts. This balanced approach demonstrates a comprehensive understanding of the prompt.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the essay could benefit from more explicit examples or case studies that illustrate both viewpoints. For instance, citing specific initiatives where individual actions have led to significant environmental improvements would strengthen the argument for individual responsibility. Additionally, a more detailed exploration of how government policies can effectively mobilize individual actions would provide a deeper analysis.
-
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position that emphasizes the importance of individual action in conjunction with government efforts. The author states that the latter view is more compelling, which is consistently supported throughout the essay. However, the conclusion could be clearer in reiterating this stance, as it somewhat dilutes the emphasis on individual responsibility by suggesting a more collaborative approach without a strong endorsement of either side.
- How to improve: To improve clarity of position, the author should reinforce their opinion in the conclusion by explicitly stating that while government action is crucial, individual efforts are equally vital. A more decisive statement could help solidify the author’s stance and provide a stronger closure to the argument.
-
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas effectively, particularly in the discussion of governmental roles in addressing environmental issues. The author extends their arguments by discussing the necessity of cooperation between different societal sectors. However, the support for individual actions is less robust, with fewer examples provided to illustrate how individual efforts can lead to significant change.
- How to improve: To enhance the development and support of ideas, the author should include specific examples of successful individual initiatives or movements that have positively impacted the environment. For instance, mentioning community-led recycling programs or grassroots movements for renewable energy could provide concrete evidence of the effectiveness of individual contributions.
-
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay largely stays on topic, addressing the prompt’s requirements without significant deviations. The focus on environmental issues and the roles of individuals and governments is consistent throughout the essay. However, there are moments where the language could be clearer, such as the phrase "the environmental problems not just include erosion or air pollution but also global warming and climate change," which could be more succinctly stated.
- How to improve: To maintain focus and clarity, the author should strive for more concise language and avoid overly complex sentence structures. Simplifying some sentences and ensuring that each point directly relates back to the central argument will help keep the essay tightly focused on the topic. Additionally, ensuring that transitions between ideas are smooth will enhance overall coherence.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7
-
Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing both views, and a conclusion. The argument is logically organized, with the first body paragraph addressing the viewpoint that individuals cannot solve environmental issues, followed by a counterargument that emphasizes the importance of individual actions. However, the transitions between ideas could be smoother. For instance, the shift from discussing governmental responsibility to individual actions feels abrupt and could benefit from clearer linking phrases.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using transitional phrases that guide the reader through the argument more effectively. For example, after discussing the government’s role, you could introduce the next paragraph with a phrase like "Conversely, it is also important to consider the significant impact individuals can have." This would create a more seamless transition between contrasting viewpoints.
-
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, which aids in readability. Each paragraph has a clear main idea, and the use of topic sentences is evident. However, the second body paragraph could be further developed to ensure that it fully explores the individual’s role in environmental preservation. The ideas presented are somewhat underexplored, which can leave the reader wanting more depth.
- How to improve: To strengthen paragraph structure, ensure that each paragraph not only presents a main idea but also includes supporting details and examples. For instance, in the second body paragraph, you could elaborate on specific actions individuals can take, such as recycling or participating in local environmental initiatives, to provide a more robust argument.
-
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "on the one hand" and "notwithstanding," which help to clarify the relationship between ideas. However, the range of cohesive devices used is somewhat limited, and there are instances where the connections between sentences could be clearer. For example, the phrase "they, however, do not acknowledge" could be replaced with a more straightforward connector to enhance clarity.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a wider variety of linking words and phrases. For instance, consider using "furthermore," "in addition," or "on the contrary" to connect ideas more fluidly. Additionally, ensure that pronouns and references are clear to avoid ambiguity, which can disrupt the flow of the essay.
Overall, while the essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and presents a coherent argument, improvements in transitions, paragraph development, and the use of cohesive devices will enhance clarity and coherence, potentially raising the band score.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6
Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6
-
Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms such as "detrimental effects," "accountable," "cooperation," and "preservation." However, the use of vocabulary is somewhat limited and repetitive. For instance, the term "environmental problems" is used multiple times without variation, which detracts from the overall lexical diversity.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, consider using synonyms or related phrases. For example, instead of repeatedly using "environmental problems," alternatives like "ecological issues," "environmental challenges," or "sustainability concerns" could be employed. Additionally, incorporating more advanced vocabulary related to the topic, such as "biodiversity," "sustainability," or "carbon footprint," could elevate the essay’s lexical sophistication.
-
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains instances of imprecise vocabulary usage. For example, the phrase "the environmental problems not just include erosion or air pollution but also global warming and climate change" could be more clearly articulated. The term "impossibly" in "inhabitants impossibly solve the environmental concerns" is also awkward and does not convey the intended meaning effectively.
- How to improve: Aim for clarity and precision in vocabulary choices. Instead of "impossibly," consider using "are unable to" or "cannot." Rephrasing the earlier example to "the environmental issues encompass not only erosion and air pollution but also global warming and climate change" would improve clarity. Regularly reviewing vocabulary in context can help ensure that word choices accurately reflect the intended meaning.
-
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good level of spelling accuracy, with only a few minor errors. However, the word "authority" is used in a context that suggests a misunderstanding of its plural form, as it should refer to "authorities" when discussing multiple governing bodies. Additionally, "utilization" is a correct spelling but may be considered overly formal in some contexts.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, it is advisable to proofread the essay carefully. Utilizing spell-check tools or apps can help identify errors. Moreover, practicing writing with a focus on commonly misspelled words and their correct forms can be beneficial. Engaging in vocabulary exercises that include spelling can also reinforce correct usage.
Overall, while the essay demonstrates a competent use of vocabulary, there is room for improvement in terms of range, precision, and spelling accuracy. By diversifying vocabulary, ensuring precise word choices, and maintaining spelling correctness, the essay can achieve a higher band score in Lexical Resource.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7
-
Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures, including complex and compound sentences. For example, the use of phrases like "it has been considered by some that" and "this is mainly because solely the authority can guide and motivate their individuals" indicates an attempt to incorporate more sophisticated grammatical forms. However, there are instances of awkward phrasing and redundancy, such as "the environmental problems not just include" which could be more effectively expressed as "the environmental problems include not only." This indicates a need for more fluidity and naturalness in sentence construction.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures further, the writer could incorporate more varied introductory phrases and transition words to enhance coherence. For instance, using participial phrases or conditional clauses could add depth. Additionally, practicing sentence combining techniques could help in creating more complex sentences that flow better.
-
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains a good level of grammatical accuracy, but there are notable errors that detract from clarity. For example, the phrase "its detrimental effects" should be "their detrimental effects" to correctly refer to "environmental issues," which is plural. Additionally, the sentence "the cooperation between government, enterprises and citizens is essential" lacks a definite article before "government" and "enterprises," making it sound somewhat incomplete. Punctuation is mostly accurate, but there are instances where commas could enhance readability, particularly in longer sentences.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles. Regular practice with grammar exercises, particularly those focusing on plural nouns and article usage, could be beneficial. Furthermore, reading extensively can help the writer internalize correct grammatical structures and punctuation usage, thereby improving their writing style.
Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid command of grammatical range and accuracy, focusing on refining sentence structures and ensuring grammatical precision will help elevate the score further.
Bài sửa mẫu
In recent years, it has been considered by some that citizens are unable to tackle environmental issues due to their adverse effects. Meanwhile, others think that each individual should be responsible for addressing this problem. This essay will examine both views and argue why the latter is far more compelling.
On the one hand, it is discernible that inhabitants are unable to solve environmental concerns. To begin with, it can be observed that environmental problems not only include erosion or air pollution but also global warming and climate change, so cooperation between the government, enterprises, and citizens is essential. This is mainly because only the authorities can guide and motivate their citizens to carry out potential solutions, minimizing the frequency of environmental issues. As an illustration, the government can implement regulations and laws to encourage their residents and companies to modify harmful behaviors such as littering and excessive emissions. Consequently, citizens could become more responsible in conservation.
Notwithstanding the argument above, residents contend that their role in conservation is negligible due to the considerable impact of environmental issues. They, however, fail to recognize that their small contributions can also address these challenges. Alternatively, their involvement in public area clean-ups and the utilization of renewable energy could dramatically affect environmental problems. As a result, daily, the quality of the environment could significantly improve.
In conclusion, despite the fact that only authorities can incentivize individuals to take action in protecting the environment, individuals must acknowledge their role in conservation. It is recommended that individuals and the government should work together for the mitigation of environmental issues.