Some people think that hosting an international sports event is good for the country, while some people think it is bad. Discuss both views and state your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people think that hosting an international sports event is good for the country, while some people think it is bad. Discuss both views and state your opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Stepping into the international period, countries face the dilemma of whether to host major events that represent whole areas or not. While there are some drawbacks leading to the inconvenience of the host country, I believe this phenomenon still brings tremendous benefits through various aspects.
To begin with, primarily, there is merit to the argument that having huge international events related to the sporting field in own country easily causes downsides views. Firstly, this is a big event that requires the amount of money in order to set up. In this way, host areas have to get ready for numerous sectors, ranging from rental spots to advertisements compassing famous artists, performances, and so on. Therefore, this adverse circumstance can make the budget of countries rapidly plummet, especially for many underprivileged zones in the case they want to handle sporting competitions in a perfect way. Otherwise, they have to confront with some arguments from the public. For example, in the Olympic games hold in Paris in the year 2024, the beginning performance faced a lot of contract opinions, which then is compared to the China ones in the past due to the lack of investment in the personality visual design. Additionally, besides event organizers, the residents are also affected badly throughout this period. In other words, they may suffer from many problems in daily life, such as noise pollution or congestion in other to make way for international sports events.
On the other hand, I believe that it is more beneficial to countries to play a role in these events. It is not only potential opportunities for countries to make their image more well-renowned via social media or television, but it is also a chance for each area's athletes to show their sport spirit confidently with the overall purpose of building the beautiful identity. Moreover, the tourism industry in each host country can also become more and more popular, which receives the increasingly number of visitors who are ready to pay money to engage this event. As a result, thanks to a large number of people traveling to places that hold international sports competition, host countries will easily gain more profit, which can reach break-even point for visual design. Prominently, they also enhance their image whether it is positive or not by relieving a memorable landmark in the history.
For the reasons mentioned above, my firm conviction is that hosting international events in the sporting field can bring more advantages in various sectors for the whole nation. Despite affecting citizen's daily in somehow inconvenience, if the method of allocating this sporting events can be excellent, the host areas easily gain more benefits rather than drawbacks.

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Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

1. "Stepping into the international period" -> "Entering the international era"
   Explanation: "Stepping into" is somewhat informal and vague. "Entering the international era" is more precise and formal, fitting the academic style better.

2. "countries face the dilemma" -> "countries confront the dilemma"
   Explanation: "Confront" is more formal and precise than "face," which can be too casual for academic writing.

3. "whole areas" -> "entire regions"
   Explanation: "Whole areas" is vague and informal. "Entire regions" is more specific and formal.

4. "huge international events" -> "major international events"
   Explanation: "Huge" is an informal adjective; "major" is more appropriate for formal academic writing.

5. "easily causes downsides views" -> "easily leads to negative views"
   Explanation: "Downsides views" is incorrect and unclear. "Negative views" is the correct term and is more formal.

6. "in order to set up" -> "to set up"
   Explanation: "In order to" is redundant in this context; "to" is sufficient and more concise.

7. "advertisements compassing" -> "advertisements encompassing"
   Explanation: "Compassing" is incorrect; "encompassing" is the correct word for describing the inclusion of various elements.

8. "rapidly plummet" -> "rapidly decline"
   Explanation: "Plummet" typically implies a sudden, steep fall, which might not be the intended meaning here. "Decline" is more neutral and appropriate.

9. "handle sporting competitions in a perfect way" -> "organize sporting competitions effectively"
   Explanation: "Handle" is too informal and vague; "organize" is more precise and formal, and "effectively" is a more academic term than "perfectly."

10. "confront with some arguments" -> "face criticism"
    Explanation: "Confront with some arguments" is awkward and informal. "Face criticism" is more direct and formal.

11. "the beginning performance faced a lot of contract opinions" -> "the opening ceremony received widespread criticism"
    Explanation: "Contract opinions" is unclear and incorrect. "Received widespread criticism" is clear and appropriate for formal writing.

12. "the lack of investment in the personality visual design" -> "insufficient investment in visual design"
    Explanation: "Personality visual design" is unclear and awkward. "Visual design" is the correct term, and "insufficient investment" is more precise.

13. "badly throughout this period" -> "adversely during this period"
    Explanation: "Badly" is too informal and vague; "adversely" is more precise and formal.

14. "make their image more well-renowned" -> "enhance their international reputation"
    Explanation: "Make their image more well-renowned" is awkward and redundant. "Enhance their international reputation" is concise and formal.

15. "the increasingly number of visitors" -> "an increasing number of visitors"
    Explanation: "The increasingly number" is grammatically incorrect. "An increasing number" is grammatically correct and more formal.

16. "reach break-even point for visual design" -> "achieve financial break-even"
    Explanation: "Reach break-even point for visual design" is awkward and unclear. "Achieve financial break-even" is clear and appropriate for financial discussions.

17. "relieving a memorable landmark in the history" -> "creating a memorable landmark in history"
    Explanation: "Relieving" is incorrect; "creating" is the correct verb for describing the establishment of something.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

• Answer All Parts of the Question:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay addresses both views regarding hosting international sports events, presenting arguments for both the drawbacks and benefits. The first paragraph discusses the negative aspects, such as financial burdens and inconveniences for residents, while the second paragraph emphasizes the positive impacts, including enhanced national image and tourism benefits. However, the discussion of the negative aspects could be more developed, as it lacks depth and specific examples. The mention of the Paris 2024 Olympics is relevant but could be elaborated further to strengthen the argument.
  • How to improve: To comprehensively address all elements of the question, the writer should provide more detailed examples and statistics to support both sides of the argument. Additionally, ensuring that each viewpoint is given balanced attention will enhance the overall response.

• Present a Clear Position Throughout:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay articulates a clear position in favor of hosting international sports events, particularly in the concluding paragraph. However, the transition between discussing the drawbacks and the benefits could be smoother. The phrase "On the other hand" indicates a shift in perspective, but the preceding paragraph could better set up this transition to maintain clarity.
  • How to improve: To maintain a clear and consistent position, the writer should use transitional phrases effectively and ensure that the argument for their opinion is consistently reinforced throughout the essay. A brief summary of the main points before stating their opinion could also help clarify their stance.

• Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas, such as the financial implications of hosting events and the potential boost to tourism. However, some ideas are not fully extended or supported. For instance, the mention of "the overall purpose of building the beautiful identity" is vague and lacks concrete examples or explanations. The argument about tourism could also benefit from specific data or case studies to illustrate the potential economic impact.
  • How to improve: To effectively present, elaborate, and substantiate ideas, the writer should aim to provide specific examples, statistics, or anecdotes that reinforce their arguments. Each point should be developed with sufficient detail to demonstrate its relevance and importance.

• Stay on Topic:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, discussing the pros and cons of hosting international sports events. However, some sentences are convoluted and may distract from the main argument, such as "if the method of allocating this sporting events can be excellent." This phrase is unclear and could confuse readers about its relevance to the topic.
  • How to improve: To maintain focus and relevance, the writer should ensure that each sentence directly contributes to the main argument. Simplifying complex sentences and avoiding vague language will help keep the discussion clear and on topic. Regularly revisiting the prompt can also help ensure that all points made are pertinent to the question asked.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

• Organize Information Logically:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure by discussing both views regarding the hosting of international sports events. The introduction outlines the dilemma and states the writer’s opinion, which is a strong start. Each paragraph addresses a specific viewpoint, with the first focusing on the drawbacks and the second on the benefits. However, the logical flow could be improved. For example, the transition from discussing the negative aspects to the positive aspects could be smoother. The use of phrases like "On the other hand" is effective, but the connection between the two paragraphs could be more explicitly stated to enhance the overall coherence.
  • How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using transitional phrases that not only signal a shift in viewpoint but also summarize the previous point. For instance, after discussing the drawbacks, a sentence like "Despite these challenges, the potential benefits of hosting such events cannot be overlooked" would create a clearer connection between the two sides of the argument.

• Use Paragraphs:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, which is crucial for clarity. Each paragraph has a clear main idea, and supporting details are provided. However, some paragraphs are overly lengthy, which can make it difficult for the reader to follow the argument. For instance, the first paragraph contains multiple ideas about financial implications and public opinion without clear separation, making it somewhat convoluted.
  • How to improve: Aim for more concise paragraphs that focus on a single main idea. Each paragraph could start with a topic sentence that clearly states the main point, followed by supporting sentences. For example, the first paragraph could be split into two: one focusing on financial implications and another on public sentiment, allowing for clearer development of each idea.

• Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable use of cohesive devices, such as "Firstly," "Moreover," and "For example." These devices help to guide the reader through the argument. However, there is a tendency to rely on a limited range of cohesive devices, which can make the writing feel repetitive. For instance, the phrase "in other words" is used, but there are few alternatives to connect ideas smoothly.
  • How to improve: To diversify cohesive devices, consider incorporating a wider variety of linking words and phrases. For example, instead of repeatedly using "Firstly" or "Moreover," you could use "Additionally," "Furthermore," or "Conversely" to introduce new points. Additionally, using pronouns or synonyms can help maintain cohesion without redundancy. For instance, instead of repeating "the host country," you could refer to it as "the nation" or simply "it" in subsequent mentions.

By addressing these areas, the essay can achieve a higher level of coherence and cohesion, ultimately enhancing the overall clarity and persuasiveness of the argument.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

• Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary, with some effective word choices such as "dilemma," "tremendous benefits," and "congestion." However, there are instances of repetition and a lack of variation in word forms. For example, the phrase "international sports events" is used multiple times without synonyms or paraphrasing, which could enhance the lexical diversity.
  • How to improve: To improve vocabulary range, the writer should incorporate synonyms and varied expressions. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "international sports events," alternatives like "global athletic competitions" or "worldwide sporting occasions" could be utilized. Additionally, using more advanced vocabulary related to economics and tourism could elevate the essay’s lexical sophistication.

• Use Vocabulary Precisely:

  • Detailed explanation: While some vocabulary is used correctly, there are notable instances of imprecise usage. For example, the phrase "the amount of money in order to set up" could be more accurately expressed as "significant financial investment required for setup." Additionally, the term "contract opinions" is unclear and does not effectively convey the intended meaning.
  • How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should focus on using words that accurately reflect their intended meaning. For example, instead of "contract opinions," the writer could clarify by stating "conflicting opinions regarding contracts." Encouraging the use of contextually appropriate phrases will help convey ideas more clearly.

• Use Correct Spelling:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors that detract from its overall quality. For instance, "compassing" should be "comprising," and "the Olympic games hold in Paris" should be "the Olympic Games held in Paris." Such errors can confuse readers and undermine the writer’s credibility.
  • How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, the writer should engage in regular proofreading and utilize spell-check tools. Additionally, practicing writing with a focus on commonly misspelled words can help reinforce correct spelling. Reading extensively can also aid in familiarizing oneself with proper spelling and usage.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents a clear argument, enhancing vocabulary range, precision, and spelling accuracy will significantly improve the Lexical Resource score.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6

• Use a Wide Range of Structures:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of sentence structures. For instance, it employs simple sentences ("This is a big event that requires the amount of money in order to set up.") alongside more complex constructions ("While there are some drawbacks leading to the inconvenience of the host country, I believe this phenomenon still brings tremendous benefits through various aspects."). However, the use of structures is somewhat repetitive, particularly in the second paragraph where similar sentence beginnings are employed.
  • How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, the writer should aim to incorporate more complex and compound sentences, as well as varying the sentence openings. For example, instead of starting multiple sentences with "it is," the writer could use introductory phrases or clauses to add complexity and interest. Additionally, using passive voice where appropriate could diversify the sentence structure further.

• Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that detract from clarity. For example, phrases like "the amount of money in order to set up" are awkwardly constructed and could be more clearly expressed as "a significant amount of money to set up the event." There are also issues with subject-verb agreement, as seen in "the beginning performance faced a lot of contract opinions," which is unclear and could be rewritten for clarity. Punctuation errors, such as missing commas, also appear, particularly in complex sentences, which can lead to run-on sentences and confusion.
  • How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on proofreading for common errors, such as subject-verb agreement and sentence clarity. Practicing sentence restructuring can help avoid awkward phrases. Additionally, reviewing punctuation rules, especially for complex sentences, will aid in improving overall clarity. For instance, ensuring that clauses are properly separated with commas can prevent run-on sentences and enhance readability.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a reasonable attempt at using varied sentence structures and grammatical forms, it requires more diversity in structure and greater accuracy in grammar and punctuation to achieve a higher band score. Regular practice, focused feedback, and careful proofreading will significantly aid in these areas.

Bài sửa mẫu

Stepping into the international era, countries confront the dilemma of whether to host major events that represent entire regions. While there are some drawbacks leading to inconveniences for the host country, I believe this phenomenon still brings tremendous benefits across various aspects.

To begin with, there is merit to the argument that hosting large international sporting events can easily lead to negative views. Firstly, these events require a significant amount of money to set up. Consequently, host areas must prepare for numerous sectors, ranging from rental spaces to advertisements encompassing famous artists and performances. Therefore, this adverse circumstance can cause the budgets of countries to rapidly decline, especially for many underprivileged zones that wish to organize sporting competitions effectively. Otherwise, they may face criticism from the public. For example, during the Olympic Games held in Paris in 2024, the opening ceremony received widespread criticism, which was compared unfavorably to previous events in China due to insufficient investment in visual design. Additionally, besides event organizers, residents are also adversely affected during this period. In other words, they may suffer from various problems in their daily lives, such as noise pollution or congestion, in order to accommodate international sports events.

On the other hand, I believe that it is more beneficial for countries to participate in these events. It presents potential opportunities for nations to enhance their international reputation through social media and television, while also allowing local athletes to showcase their sporting spirit confidently, with the overall aim of building a positive identity. Moreover, the tourism industry in each host country can become increasingly popular, attracting an increasing number of visitors who are willing to spend money to engage in these events. As a result, thanks to the influx of people traveling to locations hosting international sports competitions, host countries can easily achieve financial break-even. Prominently, they also enhance their image, whether positively or negatively, by creating a memorable landmark in history.

For the reasons mentioned above, my firm conviction is that hosting international sporting events can bring more advantages across various sectors for the entire nation. Despite causing some inconvenience to citizens’ daily lives, if the organization of these sporting events is executed excellently, host areas can easily gain more benefits than drawbacks.