Some people think that increasing use of computers and mobile phones for communication has a negative effect on young people's reading and writing skills . to what extent do you agree or disagree

Many people belive that the growing utilization of computers and mobile phones for communication has negatively impact on young individuals of reading and writing abilities
While there are some benefits and drawbacks to , i am of the opinion that this technologies to bring valuable opportunity for study and development
On the one hand, the option has some disadvantages when relying too much on technology in communication. The first is to reduce the quality and quantity of young people's reading and writing. As a result, they can spend less time reading books or writing essays and more time using short texts, emoticons or slang on their devices. The first reason for this is that it may affect the accuracy and appropriateness of their language use. For example, making more spelling, grammar, or accent errors or using language that is informal or inappropriate in a formal or academic setting
The argument is that technology can improve young people's reading and writing skills in many ways. Another reason is providing access to a large amount of information and resources that can enrich their knowledge and vocabulary. Therefore can read diverse articles, blogs, or e-books online or use a dictionary, thesaurus or online translator on their device. Not only that, it also provides opportunities for practice and feedback to improve their skills and confidence, this is mainly due to being able to write journals, review or comment online, or participate in forums and groups. or online course on their device
In conclusion, although there are some benefits and drawbacks of using computers and mobile phones for communication among young people, embracing information technology will give us the opportunity to learn. Practice and work more effectively. We need to know how to use it properly for ourselves

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

"belive" -> "believe"
Explanation: "Belive" is a misspelling of "believe." Correcting this error ensures adherence to proper spelling conventions.
"negatively impact on" -> "negatively impact"
Explanation: "Impact on" is redundant in this context. "Negatively impact" is concise and maintains the intended meaning.
"While there are some benefits and drawbacks to" -> "While there are both benefits and drawbacks to"
Explanation: The phrase "some benefits and drawbacks to" lacks specificity. Replacing it with "both benefits and drawbacks to" clarifies the statement.
"i am of the opinion that" -> "I believe that"
Explanation: "I am of the opinion that" is unnecessarily wordy. "I believe that" is a more concise and formal expression of personal opinion.
"this technologies" -> "these technologies"
Explanation: "This technologies" should be corrected to "these technologies" to maintain subject-verb agreement.
"to bring valuable opportunity" -> "to bring valuable opportunities"
Explanation: "Opportunity" should be pluralized to match the plural subject "technologies."
"The first is to reduce" -> "Firstly, it reduces"
Explanation: "The first is to reduce" lacks clarity and conciseness. "Firstly, it reduces" provides a clearer transition to the first disadvantage.
"they can spend less time reading books or writing essays and more time using short texts" -> "they may allocate less time to reading books or writing essays and more time to composing short texts"
Explanation: The original sentence lacks precision. "Allocate less time to reading books or writing essays" and "compose short texts" are more specific and formal.
"emoticons or slang" -> "emoticons or informal language"
Explanation: "Slang" is informal; using "informal language" instead maintains the formality of the context.
"the first reason for this is that it may affect" -> "One reason for this is the potential impact"
Explanation: The original sentence is awkwardly structured. Simplifying it enhances readability and clarity.
"accuracy and appropriateness of their language use" -> "accuracy and appropriateness of their linguistic expression"
Explanation: "Language use" can be replaced with "linguistic expression" for a more formal and precise term.
"making more spelling, grammar, or accent errors" -> "resulting in increased spelling, grammar, or pronunciation errors"
Explanation: "Making more spelling, grammar, or accent errors" lacks sophistication. "Resulting in increased spelling, grammar, or pronunciation errors" provides a clearer description.
"The argument is that technology can improve young people’s reading and writing skills in many ways" -> "Additionally, technology can enhance young people’s reading and writing skills in various ways"
Explanation: The phrase "The argument is that" is unnecessary. "Additionally" provides a smoother transition to the next point.
"access to a large amount of information and resources" -> "access to abundant information and resources"
Explanation: "A large amount of" can be replaced with "abundant" for a more sophisticated expression.
"can read diverse articles, blogs, or e-books online" -> "can access diverse articles, blogs, or e-books online"
Explanation: Replacing "read" with "access" maintains clarity and avoids repetition of the word "read."
"a dictionary, thesaurus or online translator on their device" -> "access to a dictionary, thesaurus, or online translator on their device"
Explanation: Adding "access to" before the list of resources improves clarity and consistency in expression.
"write journals, review or comment online, or participate in forums and groups. or online course" -> "write journals, review, or comment online; participate in forums and groups; or enroll in online courses"
Explanation: The original sentence lacks parallel structure and punctuation. Adding semicolons and clarifying "online course" to "online courses" improves readability.
"embrace" -> "embrace"
Explanation: No improvement needed.
"will give us the opportunity to learn. Practice and work more effectively" -> "will provide us with opportunities to learn, practice, and work more effectively"
Explanation: The original sentence lacks parallel structure. Restructuring it improves clarity and readability.
"We need to know how to use it properly for ourselves" -> "It is essential for us to learn how to use it properly"
Explanation: The original sentence is awkwardly phrased. Simplifying it enhances clarity and readability.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Task Response: 6

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses both sides of the argument by acknowledging the drawbacks of increased technology use on reading and writing skills while also asserting the benefits. However, the analysis lacks depth, and some parts of the prompt, such as the extent of agreement or disagreement, could be more explicitly addressed.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, ensure a clearer and more explicit acknowledgment of the extent to which you agree or disagree with the prompt. Additionally, provide more detailed analysis and examples to support your argument.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear position that acknowledges both the positive and negative impacts of technology on young people’s reading and writing skills. However, the clarity of the position could be improved with stronger transitions and a more explicit thesis statement.
- How to improve: Strengthen the clarity of your position by clearly stating your thesis in the introduction and reinforcing it throughout the essay with explicit transitions and topic sentences.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas regarding the benefits and drawbacks of technology use on reading and writing skills, but these ideas lack depth and development. There is a need for more elaboration and support through specific examples or evidence.
- How to improve: Extend and support your ideas by providing specific examples, statistics, or anecdotes to illustrate your points. Additionally, elaborate on each idea with more detailed analysis to strengthen the argument.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic by discussing the effects of computer and mobile phone use on young people’s reading and writing skills. However, there are instances of minor deviations, such as brief tangents on the benefits of technology.
- How to improve: Maintain focus on the main topic by avoiding tangential discussions and ensuring that all points directly relate to the effects of technology on reading and writing skills.

Overall, while the essay effectively addresses the prompt and presents a clear position, there is room for improvement in providing more detailed analysis, supporting ideas with evidence, and maintaining focus on the topic throughout. Strengthening these areas will enhance the overall coherence and persuasiveness of the essay.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a clear attempt to organize information logically, with distinct introduction, body, and conclusion sections. However, there are some instances where the flow of ideas could be smoother. For instance, the transition between discussing the disadvantages and advantages of technology is somewhat abrupt, lacking a smooth segue.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using transitional phrases or sentences to smoothly transition between ideas. For example, phrases like "On the contrary," or "Conversely," can help signal shifts between opposing viewpoints. Additionally, ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea to maintain clarity and coherence throughout the essay.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay utilizes paragraphs effectively, with each paragraph containing a distinct main idea. However, there is room for improvement in paragraph structure, particularly in ensuring topic sentences clearly introduce the main point of each paragraph.
- How to improve: Strengthen paragraph structure by ensuring each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that previews the main idea to be discussed. Additionally, strive for unity within paragraphs by maintaining focus on the central theme and providing adequate support and development for each point.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs a variety of cohesive devices, including conjunctions (e.g., "while," "although"), pronouns ("this," "it"), and transitional phrases ("on the one hand," "in conclusion"). However, there is limited use of cohesive devices within paragraphs to connect ideas and enhance coherence.
- How to improve: Increase the use of cohesive devices within paragraphs to strengthen the connections between sentences and ideas. This can be achieved by incorporating more transitional words and phrases (e.g., "furthermore," "in addition"), using pronouns effectively to refer back to previously mentioned concepts, and employing parallel structure to maintain consistency and clarity within sentences and paragraphs.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of coherence and cohesion principles, refining the organization of ideas, paragraph structure, and use of cohesive devices will further enhance the clarity and effectiveness of communication.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary. While it effectively conveys the writer’s points, there’s room for improvement in diversifying the vocabulary to enhance the richness of expression. For instance, phrases like "utilization of computers and mobile phones" and "valuable opportunity for study and development" could be replaced with more varied and nuanced terms to avoid repetition.
- How to improve: To enrich the lexical resource, the writer can incorporate synonyms, idiomatic expressions, and domain-specific vocabulary relevant to the topic. For example, instead of "utilization," consider using "usage," "deployment," or "application." Similarly, rather than "valuable opportunity," phrases like "promising prospects" or "fruitful avenues" can be employed to add depth to the argument.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a mix of precise and imprecise vocabulary usage. While some terms are used accurately, such as "access to a large amount of information" and "opportunities for practice and feedback," there are instances of imprecise language, such as "the option has some disadvantages" and "embracing information technology will give us the opportunity to learn." These phrases could be more specific and tailored to the context.
- How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should strive for clarity and specificity in word choice. Instead of vague terms like "the option," specify what disadvantages are being referred to. Similarly, rather than the general statement "embracing information technology will give us the opportunity to learn," provide specific examples or benefits of how technology facilitates learning, thereby making the argument more compelling and precise.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates generally correct spelling with occasional errors. Examples of correct spelling include "communication," "individuals," and "technology." However, there are several instances of spelling errors, such as "belive" (believe), "impact" (impacts), "emoticons" (emojis), and "accessories" (access).
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should proofread the essay carefully or consider using spelling and grammar checking tools to identify and correct errors. Additionally, practicing spelling through activities like word games or flashcards can help reinforce correct spelling patterns and improve overall accuracy.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a satisfactory range of sentence structures. It employs simple, compound, and complex sentences throughout the text. Simple sentences are used for clarity and emphasis, while compound and complex sentences are utilized to convey more complex ideas and relationships between them. However, there is room for improvement in the variety and sophistication of sentence structures. The majority of sentences are straightforward and lack complexity, which could limit the fluency and richness of expression.
- How to improve: To enhance the variety and effectiveness of sentence structures, consider incorporating more complex sentence patterns, such as conditional sentences, passive voice constructions, and appositive phrases. Experiment with different sentence lengths and structures to create rhythm and flow in the essay. Additionally, vary the beginnings of sentences to avoid monotony and engage the reader’s interest.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay demonstrates a reasonably accurate use of grammar and punctuation. However, there are notable instances of grammatical errors and punctuation mistakes throughout the text. For instance, there are errors in subject-verb agreement ("Many people belive"), word choice ("utilization of computers and mobile phones for communication has negatively impact"), and punctuation errors (missing commas, inconsistent capitalization). These errors occasionally impede clarity and affect the reader’s understanding of the message.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy and punctuation skills, it is essential to review and practice fundamental grammar rules, particularly those related to verb conjugation, sentence structure, and punctuation marks. Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement and ensure consistency in verb tenses throughout the essay. Additionally, proofreading the essay carefully before submission can help identify and correct errors in grammar and punctuation. Consider seeking feedback from peers or instructors to gain insights into areas for improvement and strategies for enhancing grammatical accuracy.

Bài sửa mẫu

Many individuals believe that the increasing use of computers and mobile phones for communication has a negative impact on the reading and writing skills of young people. While there are both benefits and drawbacks to this trend, I believe that these technologies offer valuable opportunities for learning and development.

Firstly, there are some disadvantages to relying too heavily on technology for communication. One such drawback is the potential reduction in the quality and quantity of young people’s reading and writing. Consequently, they may allocate less time to reading books or composing essays, and instead, spend more time crafting short texts, using emoticons, or employing informal language on their devices. One reason for this is the potential impact on the accuracy and appropriateness of their linguistic expression. For instance, there may be an increase in spelling, grammar, or pronunciation errors, or the use of language that is too casual or inappropriate for formal or academic settings.

However, it is also true that technology can enhance young people’s reading and writing skills in various ways. Another reason is the access to abundant information and resources that technology provides, enriching their knowledge and vocabulary. Consequently, they can access diverse articles, blogs, or e-books online, as well as utilize a dictionary, thesaurus, or online translator on their device. Moreover, technology offers opportunities for practice and feedback to improve their skills and confidence. This is mainly because they can write journals, engage in online reviews or discussions, or participate in forums and groups, or enroll in online courses using their devices.

In conclusion, while there are both benefits and drawbacks to the use of computers and mobile phones for communication among young people, embracing information technology will provide us with opportunities to learn, practice, and work more effectively. It is essential for us to learn how to use it properly for our own benefit.

Some people think that increasing use of computers and mobile phones for communication has a negative effect on young people’s reading and writing skills . to what extent do you agree or disagree