Some people think that it is best to live in a vertical city (people work and live in high buildings), while others think a horizontal city is better. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

People have differing views about whether or not it is better for people to live in a vertical city rather than a horizontal city. While some people believe that there are benefits to residents who settle in a horizontal city, I would argue that cities with skyscrapers and high-rise buildings offer more advantages.
On the one hand, it is beneficial for residents to live in a horizontal city based on a few private space and security reasons. Firstly, it is safer to live in a horizontal building than a vertical one. In other words, it would be much easier to evacuate people from a low-rise building in emergency situations such as an earthquake or a fire. For example, it would take 5 or 10 minutes to get everyone out of a 2-storey house; however, it might take several hours to evacuate people from a skyscraper due to its population density and vertical distances. Furthermore, a high-rise building offers no space for exercise or other leisure activities, whereas a single-storey or two-storey house usually has a backyard or playground where people can do physical activities or just relax.
On the other hand, it seems to me that living in a vertical city is the best choice. To begin with, it is more straightforward to purchase an apartment in a high-rise block due to its cheaper price compared to a private house. For instance, in Vietnam, buying a three-storey house in a city might cost around 5 billion dong, while a person could buy a flat with just around 2 billion dong. These apartments are suitable for those who have low or middle income or young couples so that they can have their own house, thereby having household registration in the city and making it convenient for their children to go to school. Moreover, there are lots of amenities such as supermarkets, banks, gym clubs and other many facilities around high-rise residential buildings, facilitating for their inhabitants who easily access to a wide range of commodities and services.
In conclusion, it seems evident that both a vertical city and a horizontal city each have its own unique advantages, I am more inclined to believe that living in a vertical city brings more benefits.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"People have differing views" -> "Opinions vary"
Explanation: "Opinions vary" is a more concise and formal way to express the diversity of views, fitting better in an academic context.
"it is beneficial for residents to live in a horizontal city" -> "residents in horizontal cities may benefit"
Explanation: Changing to "residents in horizontal cities may benefit" shifts the focus from a general statement to a more specific and conditional one, which is more appropriate for academic writing.
"a few private space and security reasons" -> "a few reasons related to privacy and security"
Explanation: "a few reasons related to privacy and security" clarifies the type of reasons being discussed, enhancing the precision of the statement.
"it would be much easier" -> "it would be significantly easier"
Explanation: "significantly" adds a level of formality and specificity to the comparison, enhancing the academic tone.
"it might take several hours to evacuate people" -> "it could take several hours to evacuate occupants"
Explanation: "occupants" is a more formal term than "people," and "could" is a more academically appropriate modal verb than "might" in this context.
"a high-rise building offers no space" -> "high-rise buildings often lack space"
Explanation: "often lack" is a more precise and formal way to express the general tendency, and "buildings" is plural to match the generalization.
"a single-storey or two-storey house usually has a backyard or playground" -> "single- or two-storey houses typically have backyards or playgrounds"
Explanation: "typically" is more formal than "usually," and "houses" is plural to match the generalization, improving the grammatical accuracy and formality.
"it seems to me that living in a vertical city is the best choice" -> "it appears that residing in a vertical city is preferable"
Explanation: "appears" is more formal than "seems," and "preferable" is a more academic term than "best choice."
"it is more straightforward to purchase an apartment" -> "it is more straightforward to acquire an apartment"
Explanation: "acquire" is a more formal synonym for "purchase," fitting better in an academic context.
"due to its cheaper price" -> "owing to its lower cost"
Explanation: "owing to its lower cost" is a more formal and precise phrase, suitable for academic writing.
"a person could buy a flat with just around 2 billion dong" -> "one could purchase a flat for approximately 2 billion dong"
Explanation: "one could purchase" is more formal and precise than "a person could buy," and "approximately" is more formal than "just."
"facilitating for their inhabitants" -> "facilitating access for their residents"
Explanation: "facilitating access" is a more precise and formal expression, and "residents" is more appropriate than "inhabitants" in this context.
"and other many facilities" -> "and numerous facilities"
Explanation: "numerous" is more formal and precise than "many," and it avoids the redundancy of "other many."
"I am more inclined to believe" -> "I am more persuaded that"
Explanation: "I am more persuaded that" is a more formal and academically appropriate way to express personal conviction.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Task Response: 6

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay adequately addresses both perspectives of living in vertical and horizontal cities. It discusses benefits of horizontal living such as safety and access to space, and advantages of vertical living such as affordability and convenience.
- How to improve: To improve, ensure that each viewpoint is more thoroughly developed with specific examples and perhaps explore potential drawbacks of each city type to provide a balanced analysis.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position favoring vertical cities throughout the essay. The stance is clearly stated in the introduction and reinforced in the conclusion.
- How to improve: While the position is clear, ensure that every paragraph directly supports this position with strong arguments and evidence. This could involve deeper analysis or contrasting the benefits against potential drawbacks of vertical cities.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: Ideas are presented with some development, such as safety in horizontal cities and affordability in vertical cities. However, some points lack depth and could benefit from further elaboration or examples.
- How to improve: To strengthen, expand upon each idea with specific examples or statistics. This would enhance the credibility and persuasiveness of the arguments presented.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic by discussing the merits of vertical versus horizontal cities. However, there are moments where the connection to the topic could be more direct, especially when discussing affordability and amenities.
- How to improve: Ensure that every point directly ties back to the comparison between vertical and horizontal cities. Avoid tangents that do not contribute to this central comparison.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a good understanding of the task and effectively presents arguments supporting a preference for vertical cities. To improve, focus on deeper analysis and more specific examples to strengthen the discussion of both viewpoints and enhance coherence throughout the essay.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a clear attempt to organize information logically. It begins with an introduction that presents both views on living in vertical versus horizontal cities. Each viewpoint is developed in separate body paragraphs, discussing safety and space in horizontal cities versus affordability and amenities in vertical cities. The concluding paragraph summarizes these points effectively.
- How to improve: To further enhance logical organization, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and transitions smoothly to the next. Consider using linking words more consistently to clarify relationships between ideas (e.g., "however," "furthermore," "in conclusion").
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs effectively to structure its arguments. Each body paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of living in either vertical or horizontal cities, discussing safety and space in one paragraph and affordability and amenities in another. The introduction and conclusion are distinct paragraphs that appropriately introduce the topic and summarize the main points.
- How to improve: Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that states the main idea. In some instances, paragraphs could be more cohesive by using clearer transitions or by reorganizing sentences to enhance coherence within paragraphs.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs a variety of cohesive devices to link ideas within and between sentences. Examples include transition words ("while," "firstly," "moreover," "in conclusion") and cohesive phrases ("on the one hand," "on the other hand"). These devices help maintain coherence and guide the reader through the argumentative structure.
- How to improve: To strengthen cohesion, consider using a wider range of cohesive devices such as pronouns ("these," "those"), synonyms, and parallel structures. Ensure that each cohesive device is used appropriately and consistently throughout the essay to improve flow and coherence.

Overall, the essay effectively addresses the essay prompt and demonstrates a strong level of coherence and cohesion. To potentially increase the band score to an 8, focus on refining the logical organization by strengthening topic sentences and ensuring seamless transitions between paragraphs. Additionally, diversify the range of cohesive devices used to enhance the clarity and flow of ideas further.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary, covering aspects of safety, affordability, convenience, and amenities in both vertical and horizontal cities. Examples include terms like "skyscrapers," "high-rise buildings," "private space," "evacuate," "population density," "household registration," and "commodities." However, the vocabulary lacks depth and sophistication in some areas, occasionally repeating basic terms such as "house" or "building" without exploring more nuanced alternatives.
- How to improve: To enhance your lexical resource, consider incorporating more specialized vocabulary and synonyms to avoid repetition. For instance, instead of frequently using "house" or "building," vary with terms like "residence," "structure," "dwelling," or "property." Additionally, aim to include domain-specific vocabulary related to urban planning or residential architecture to enrich your descriptions.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary appropriately, though there are instances where precise terminology could have been employed more effectively. For example, while discussing the advantages of low-rise buildings, the phrase "a few private space" could be more precisely stated as "greater personal privacy." On the other hand, terms like "evacuate," "population density," and "amenities" are used correctly to convey specific meanings.
- How to improve: Focus on using vocabulary that precisely conveys your intended meaning without ambiguity. Review your essay to identify areas where a more specific word choice could enhance clarity and depth. For example, instead of "a few private space," consider alternatives like "personal seclusion" or "individual privacy," depending on the context of your argument.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: Spelling is generally accurate throughout the essay, with minor errors like "suitable" instead of "suitably" or "amenities" instead of "facilities." These errors do not significantly detract from the overall coherence and readability of the essay.
- How to improve: To further improve spelling accuracy, consider utilizing spell-check tools during drafting and revision phases. Additionally, proofreading your work carefully for common typographical errors or homophones can help minimize mistakes. Developing a habit of reviewing specific spelling rules or challenging words can also contribute to overall spelling proficiency.

Overall, while your essay demonstrates a solid grasp of vocabulary and spelling, enhancing the range and precision of your vocabulary usage could elevate your writing to a higher band score. By incorporating more varied and nuanced vocabulary, as well as ensuring meticulous spelling accuracy, you can further strengthen your ability to communicate effectively in written English.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable variety of sentence structures. It includes simple, compound, and complex sentences. For example, simple sentences like "Some people think" are used alongside more complex structures such as "On the other hand, it seems to me that…" This variety helps maintain reader engagement and clarity throughout the essay.
- How to improve: To further enhance variety, consider integrating more complex sentence structures, such as sentences with embedded clauses or varying the length of sentences more deliberately. This can elevate the sophistication of the writing and demonstrate a higher level of syntactic control.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains accurate grammar and punctuation. However, there are instances where errors affect clarity or coherence. For instance, "based on a few private space and security reasons" should be corrected to "due to privacy and security reasons." Additionally, there are minor punctuation errors, such as missing commas or incorrect usage (e.g., "it is safer to live in a horizontal building than a vertical one. In other words, it would be…").
- How to improve: Pay closer attention to subject-verb agreement (e.g., "a few private space"), correct preposition usage (e.g., "for exercise or other leisure activities"), and ensure consistent punctuation, especially around complex sentences. Reviewing these aspects during proofreading can significantly enhance grammatical accuracy and overall coherence.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid command of sentence structures and generally accurate grammar and punctuation, focusing on these areas of improvement can help elevate the essay to a more consistent and polished level, potentially reaching a higher band score in future assessments.

Bài sửa mẫu

People hold differing opinions on whether living in a vertical city is preferable to residing in a horizontal one. While some argue for the benefits of horizontal cities, I contend that cities dominated by skyscrapers offer greater advantages.

On one hand, living in a horizontal city has a few advantages related to privacy and security. Firstly, safety concerns are lessened in low-rise buildings compared to high-rise ones. For instance, evacuating residents from a two-storey house during emergencies like earthquakes or fires can be accomplished in 5 to 10 minutes, whereas evacuating occupants from a skyscraper could take several hours due to its dense population and vertical structure. Additionally, horizontal dwellings such as single or two-storey houses typically include spaces like backyards or playgrounds, which provide areas for exercise and relaxation that are often absent in high-rise buildings.

On the other hand, it appears that residing in a vertical city has its own merits. Firstly, it is more straightforward to acquire an apartment in a high-rise building due to its lower cost compared to purchasing a private house. For instance, in Vietnam, one could purchase a flat for approximately 2 billion dong, whereas a three-storey house might cost around 5 billion dong. This affordability makes apartments more accessible to individuals with lower or middle incomes, enabling them to establish residency in urban areas and ensuring convenient access to educational institutions for their children. Furthermore, high-rise residential areas often boast numerous facilities such as supermarkets, banks, and gyms, enhancing convenience for their residents by providing access to a wide range of services and commodities.

In conclusion, both vertical and horizontal cities offer unique advantages. However, considering the affordability and amenities available, I am more persuaded that living in a vertical city is preferable.