Some people think that it is good for a country’s culture to import foreign movies and TV programs. Others think that it is better to produce these locally. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Today, follow the development in people desire in entertainment, many producer consider to produce film and make it become globalization. In this stage and with the perform of many director, many people believe that film just need no be locally. In drawback. Lots of people also think that it play a paramount role for producer to make their film popular in foreign country.
First, people do not support for the film which has made globalization they comment that it make their country lose the culture cause the film follow the global trend. They believe in traditional values and desire to keep it along with the development of their country. Besides that, the different in culture make them hard to accept the global film because off the values director want to transmission is opposite with their traditional values.
On the other hand, there is the people who believe in the trend, they think that the global film bring the film industry in their country to the higher level. They believe that the receptive of different culture is hole a key. Beside, some people always want to learn about history, geography of other country. So they strongly believe and accept the global film in their country.
In terms of produce film, film maker always consider and produce film by following the desire of domestic viewer, so that their opinion always have a huge impact on what producer make.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

"Today, follow the development in people desire in entertainment, many producer consider to produce film and make it become globalization."
-> "Today, in response to the evolving desires of audiences for entertainment, many producers consider producing films for global audiences."
Explanation: The original sentence lacks clarity and uses awkward phrasing. Revising it provides a clearer statement while maintaining a formal tone.
"In this stage and with the perform of many director, many people believe that film just need no be locally."
-> "At this stage, with the contributions of numerous directors, many people believe that films need not be confined to local audiences."
Explanation: The original sentence lacks coherence and uses awkward grammar. The suggested revision clarifies the idea and improves readability.
"In drawback."
-> "However, there are drawbacks."
Explanation: "In drawback" is not a correct phrase. Using "However, there are drawbacks" provides a smoother transition and maintains formality.
"Lots of people also think that it play a paramount role for producer to make their film popular in foreign country."
-> "Many individuals also believe that it plays a paramount role for producers to make their films popular in foreign countries."
Explanation: The original sentence lacks grammatical accuracy and uses informal language. The revised version is grammatically correct and more formal.
"First, people do not support for the film which has made globalization they comment that it make their country lose the culture cause the film follow the global trend."
-> "Firstly, individuals do not support films that have undergone globalization; they argue that it leads to cultural loss in their country as these films follow global trends."
Explanation: The original sentence is convoluted and lacks clarity. The suggested revision simplifies the expression while maintaining formal language and clarity.
"Besides that, the different in culture make them hard to accept the global film because off the values director want to transmission is opposite with their traditional values."
-> "Additionally, cultural differences make it difficult for them to accept global films because the values directors seek to transmit often conflict with their traditional values."
Explanation: The original sentence contains grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. The revised version corrects these issues and enhances clarity.
"On the other hand, there is the people who believe in the trend, they think that the global film bring the film industry in their country to the higher level."
-> "On the other hand, there are those who believe in the trend; they argue that global films elevate the film industry in their country."
Explanation: The original sentence lacks clarity and contains grammatical errors. The suggested revision improves readability and maintains a formal tone.
"They believe that the receptive of different culture is hole a key."
-> "They believe that receptiveness to different cultures is essential."
Explanation: The original sentence contains grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. The revised version corrects these issues and maintains clarity.
"Beside, some people always want to learn about history, geography of other country."
-> "Moreover, some people are keen to learn about the history and geography of other countries."
Explanation: The original sentence contains grammatical errors and lacks clarity. The suggested revision improves readability and maintains formal language.
"In terms of produce film, film maker always consider and produce film by following the desire of domestic viewer, so that their opinion always have a huge impact on what producer make."
-> "Regarding film production, filmmakers always consider the preferences of domestic viewers, which greatly influences their creative decisions."
Explanation: The original sentence is fragmented and contains grammatical errors. The suggested revision consolidates the idea and improves clarity while maintaining formality.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Task Response: 5 – UNDER WORD

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to discuss both perspectives on whether it is beneficial for a country to import foreign movies and TV programs or to produce them locally. However, the response lacks coherence and clarity in addressing each aspect of the prompt. While it briefly mentions the opposing views, it fails to thoroughly analyze them or provide specific examples to support the discussion.
- How to improve: To improve, ensure each viewpoint is clearly presented and supported with relevant examples or arguments. Consider structuring the essay with distinct paragraphs for each perspective, providing in-depth analysis and evidence for each.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay’s position on the issue is not explicitly stated or consistently maintained throughout the response. While it briefly touches on the advantages and disadvantages of both importing foreign content and producing locally, it lacks a clear stance or argumentative thesis.
- How to improve: To enhance clarity, articulate a clear position in the introduction and maintain it throughout the essay. Develop a thesis statement that reflects the writer’s opinion on whether importing foreign entertainment is advantageous or if local production is preferable. Ensure all subsequent arguments and examples support this stance.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas but lacks coherence and development. It offers brief assertions without sufficient elaboration or support. For example, while it mentions cultural preservation concerns and the potential benefits of global films, these points are not adequately expanded upon or connected to the overall argument.
- How to improve: To strengthen the essay, provide detailed explanations, examples, and evidence to support each idea presented. Consider exploring the cultural, economic, and social implications of importing foreign entertainment versus producing locally, and extend arguments to provide a more nuanced analysis.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay partially addresses the topic but deviates at times, particularly in terms of coherence and relevance. While it discusses the pros and cons of importing foreign films versus local production, the lack of clarity and organization hinders the overall focus.
- How to improve: Focus on maintaining a clear and organized structure throughout the essay, ensuring each paragraph directly relates to the topic and contributes to the overall argument. Avoid tangential discussions and maintain relevance to the prompt to strengthen coherence and coherence.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 5

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a basic attempt at organizing information, but there are significant issues with coherence and cohesion. The introduction lacks clarity and coherence, making it challenging for the reader to understand the main points of the essay. Additionally, the body paragraphs lack clear transitions between ideas, resulting in a disjointed flow of information. For instance, the sudden shift from discussing people’s opinions on globalized films to the role of domestic viewers in film production is abrupt and does not follow a logical progression.
- How to improve: To enhance the logical organization of the essay, it’s essential to start with a clear and concise introduction that outlines the main points to be discussed in the essay. Each body paragraph should focus on one main idea, with smooth transitions between paragraphs to maintain coherence. Consider using topic sentences to clearly introduce the main point of each paragraph and providing supporting details and examples to strengthen the argument.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to use paragraphs, but the structure and effectiveness are inconsistent. While there is an attempt to separate ideas into paragraphs, the lack of coherence within each paragraph hinders the effectiveness of paragraphing. For example, the second paragraph attempts to discuss both sides of the argument but lacks clear topic sentences or transitions between points.
- How to improve: Focus on structuring each paragraph around a single main idea or argument. Start each paragraph with a clear topic sentence that introduces the main point, followed by supporting details or examples. Ensure that there is a logical flow of ideas within each paragraph and use transitions to connect ideas between paragraphs.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay lacks a variety of cohesive devices, resulting in a lack of coherence and cohesion. There are few cohesive devices such as conjunctions and transition words used to link ideas within sentences and paragraphs. As a result, the essay feels disjointed and difficult to follow.
- How to improve: Incorporate a wider range of cohesive devices to improve the flow and coherence of the essay. Use conjunctions such as "however," "furthermore," and "on the other hand" to connect contrasting ideas. Additionally, employ transition words and phrases like "for example," "in addition," and "therefore" to indicate relationships between ideas and create a smoother flow of information. Ensure that cohesive devices are used consistently throughout the essay to maintain coherence.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 5

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary with some attempts at varied expression. However, there are instances of repetition ("film" and "global" are frequently repeated) which limit the diversity of vocabulary. For instance, "globalization" is used multiple times without variation, diminishing the richness of expression.
- How to improve: To enhance the lexical resource, aim to incorporate synonyms and varied expressions. Instead of repetitive phrases like "make it become globalization," consider alternatives such as "facilitate globalization" or "contribute to global integration." Additionally, explore a wider range of vocabulary to convey ideas more precisely and vividly.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay displays imprecise vocabulary usage in several instances. For example, "the different in culture make them hard to accept the global film" lacks precision. The phrase "the different in culture" is grammatically incorrect and vague. Additionally, "hole a key" is an inaccurate expression; it seems a typographical error meant to convey "hold a key."
- How to improve: To improve precision, ensure each word is used accurately and effectively. Replace vague phrases with specific terms, and proofread carefully to catch typographical errors. For instance, revise "the different in culture" to "cultural differences," and correct "hole a key" to "hold the key."
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits numerous spelling errors, such as "follow the development in people desire," "perform of many director," "hole a key," and "receptive of different culture." These errors detract from the overall coherence and readability of the essay.
- How to improve: Enhance spelling accuracy by employing spelling and grammar check tools, reviewing the essay carefully before submission, and practicing spelling through consistent writing exercises. Additionally, consider seeking feedback from peers or instructors to identify and correct spelling errors effectively.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 4

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 4

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates an attempt to vary sentence structures, though the range is limited. Simple and compound sentences dominate the essay, with occasional complex structures. For example, "Today, follow the development in people desire in entertainment, many producer consider to produce film and make it become globalization" shows an attempt at a complex sentence, but it lacks clarity and coherence. Similarly, "In this stage and with the perform of many director, many people believe that film just need no be locally" attempts a complex structure but suffers from grammatical errors and awkward phrasing.
- How to improve: To improve, the writer should focus on diversifying sentence structures further. Incorporating a mix of simple, compound, complex, and compound-complex sentences can enhance the essay’s readability and coherence. Additionally, paying attention to sentence clarity and grammatical accuracy will strengthen the overall impact of the essay.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some grammatical inaccuracies and punctuation errors throughout. For instance, "follow the development in people desire in entertainment" should be "following the development in people’s desire for entertainment." Additionally, there are issues with subject-verb agreement ("they comment that it make their country lose the culture") and article usage ("the different in culture" should be "the difference in culture"). Punctuation errors, such as missing commas and periods, further detract from the clarity of the essay.
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy and punctuation skills, the writer should focus on reviewing fundamental grammar rules, particularly those related to subject-verb agreement, article usage, and sentence structure. Proofreading carefully for punctuation errors and ensuring proper placement of commas, periods, and other punctuation marks will help improve the overall coherence and readability of the essay. Additionally, seeking feedback from peers or instructors on specific grammatical issues can be beneficial for targeted improvement.

Bài sửa mẫu

Today, in response to the evolving desires of audiences for entertainment, many producers consider producing films for global audiences. At this stage, with the contributions of numerous directors, many people believe that films need not be confined to local audiences. However, there are drawbacks. Many individuals also believe that it plays a paramount role for producers to make their films popular in foreign countries.

Firstly, individuals do not support films that have undergone globalization; they argue that it leads to cultural loss in their country as these films follow global trends. They believe in traditional values and desire to keep them intact alongside the development of their country. Besides that, the differences in culture make it hard for them to accept global films because the values directors seek to transmit often conflict with their traditional values.

On the other hand, there are those who believe in the trend; they argue that global films elevate the film industry in their country. They believe that receptiveness to different cultures is essential. Moreover, some people are keen to learn about the history and geography of other countries. Regarding film production, filmmakers always consider the preferences of domestic viewers, which greatly influences their creative decisions.