Some people think that students should be required to do unpaid work helping the needy in the community. Do you agree or disagree with this view? Write a paragraph (about 180-200 words) to express your opinion.

Requiring students to do unpaid work helping the needy in the community can have crucial educational and social advantages. Here are some key reasons: Firstly, volunteering builds compassion and social awareness. Volunteering helps students develop sympathy by engaging with people facing challenges. It exposes them to diverse perspectives and realistic struggles, fostering a sense of responsibility towards their community. Secondly, voluntary works can intensify civic engagement, since students can learn the value of contributing to society. It encourages a sense of civic duty and promotes lifelong participation in community service, which strengthens the social fabric. Besides, students will have chance to learn practical life skills. Community service offers practical experience outside the classroom. Students can develop vital skills like teamwork, leadership, communication, and problem-solving, which are essential for individual and professional growth. Finally, volunteering improves mental and emotional well-being. Helping others can increase self-esteem and provide a sense of purpose. For many students, seeing the impact and results of their work can improve mental health and offer a meaningful break from academic stresses. Overall, unpaid community service benefits both students and society, cultivating future generations who are compassionate, skilled, and engaged citizens.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"Requiring students to do unpaid work" -> "Requiring students to engage in unpaid community service"
Explanation: The phrase "engage in unpaid community service" is more specific and formal, aligning better with academic language by clearly indicating the type of activity and its context.
"helping the needy" -> "assisting those in need"
Explanation: "Assisting those in need" is a more formal and precise term that avoids the colloquial tone of "the needy," which can be seen as somewhat informal and vague.
"crucial educational and social advantages" -> "significant educational and social benefits"
Explanation: "Significant" is a more academically appropriate term than "crucial," which can imply a level of importance that might be overstated. "Benefits" is also a more formal synonym for "advantages."
"volunteering builds compassion and social awareness" -> "volunteering fosters compassion and social awareness"
Explanation: "Fosters" is a more precise verb than "builds" in this context, as it implies a nurturing or developing process, which is more accurate for describing the growth of compassion and social awareness through volunteering.
"engaging with people facing challenges" -> "interacting with individuals facing challenges"
Explanation: "Interacting" is a more formal and precise term than "engaging," which can be somewhat vague and informal in this context.
"realistic struggles" -> "real-life challenges"
Explanation: "Real-life challenges" is a more specific and formal phrase that better captures the idea of actual difficulties faced by individuals, enhancing the academic tone.
"voluntary works" -> "volunteer work"
Explanation: "Volunteer work" is the correct term, as "works" is grammatically incorrect and less formal.
"students can learn the value of contributing to society" -> "students can gain an appreciation for contributing to society"
Explanation: "Gain an appreciation for" is a more precise and formal way to describe the process of learning the value of contributing to society.
"students will have chance to learn" -> "students will have the opportunity to learn"
Explanation: "Have the opportunity to" is a more formal and precise expression than "have chance to," which is less formal and slightly awkward.
"practical life skills" -> "practical skills"
Explanation: "Practical skills" is a more concise and formal term that avoids the redundancy of "life" in "practical life skills."
"volunteering improves mental and emotional well-being" -> "volunteering enhances mental and emotional well-being"
Explanation: "Enhances" is a more precise and formal verb than "improves," which is slightly less specific and formal in this context.
"increase self-esteem" -> "boost self-esteem"
Explanation: "Boost" is a more precise and commonly accepted term in academic writing than "increase" when referring to the enhancement of self-esteem.
"seeing the impact and results of their work" -> "observing the impact and outcomes of their work"
Explanation: "Observing" and "outcomes" are more formal and precise terms than "seeing" and "results," aligning better with academic style.

These changes refine the vocabulary to better suit an academic context, enhancing precision, formality, and clarity.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Task Response: 5 – UNDER WORD

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses the prompt by discussing the benefits of requiring students to engage in unpaid work, which aligns with the view that some people hold. However, it does not explicitly state whether the author agrees or disagrees with this viewpoint, which is a critical component of the task. The lack of a clear stance makes it difficult to assess the position taken.
- How to improve: To improve, the writer should clearly state their position at the beginning of the essay. A sentence such as, "I strongly agree that students should be required to do unpaid work," would clarify the author’s stance. Additionally, the conclusion should reiterate this position to reinforce it.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: While the essay outlines several advantages of volunteering, it fails to maintain a clear and consistent position throughout. The absence of a definitive agreement or disagreement with the prompt leads to ambiguity regarding the author’s viewpoint.
- How to improve: To present a clear position, the writer should consistently refer back to their initial statement of agreement or disagreement throughout the essay. Using phrases like "This is why I believe…" or "In support of my view…" can help anchor the discussion to the stated opinion.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several valid points regarding the benefits of volunteering, such as building compassion and social awareness, enhancing civic engagement, and improving mental well-being. However, the ideas could be better extended and supported with specific examples or anecdotes that illustrate these benefits in a more tangible way.
- How to improve: To enhance the development of ideas, the writer should include specific examples or case studies that demonstrate the positive impact of volunteering on students. For instance, mentioning a specific program where students gained leadership skills through community service would provide concrete support for the claims made.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the advantages of unpaid work for students. However, it could benefit from a more direct connection to the prompt, which asks for a personal opinion rather than a general discussion of benefits.
- How to improve: To maintain focus on the topic, the writer should consistently relate their points back to the question of whether students should be required to volunteer. This can be achieved by framing each benefit in the context of why such a requirement would be beneficial, thereby ensuring that all content is relevant to the prompt.

Overall, the essay presents a range of relevant ideas but lacks clarity in position and specific examples to support its claims. Addressing these areas will enhance the overall effectiveness and coherence of the response.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear argument in favor of requiring students to engage in unpaid work, structured around several key points. Each reason is introduced with transitional phrases such as "Firstly," "Secondly," and "Finally," which helps guide the reader through the argument. However, while the points are relevant, the logical progression could be enhanced. For instance, the transition from discussing social awareness to civic engagement feels somewhat abrupt, as the connection between these two ideas isn’t explicitly stated.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using more explicit linking phrases that clarify the relationship between points. For example, after discussing social awareness, you could add a sentence that connects how this awareness naturally leads to increased civic engagement. Additionally, ensuring that each point builds on the previous one can create a more cohesive argument.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay is structured in a single paragraph, which limits its effectiveness. While the points are clearly delineated, the lack of paragraph breaks makes it more challenging for the reader to digest the information. Each reason could benefit from being developed in its own paragraph, allowing for a more thorough exploration of each point.
- How to improve: Break the essay into multiple paragraphs, with each paragraph dedicated to one main idea. For example, the first paragraph could focus on the benefits of building compassion and social awareness, the second on civic engagement, the third on practical life skills, and the fourth on mental well-being. This structure not only improves readability but also allows for deeper analysis of each point.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs several cohesive devices effectively, such as "Firstly," "Secondly," and "Finally," which help to organize the points. However, the range of cohesive devices is somewhat limited. The essay primarily relies on these basic transitional phrases without incorporating more varied devices that could enhance the flow and connection between ideas. For example, the use of pronouns or synonyms to refer back to previously mentioned concepts could improve cohesion.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, consider incorporating a wider range of linking words and phrases, such as "In addition," "Moreover," or "Consequently," to create smoother transitions between points. Additionally, using phrases like "This means that" or "As a result" can help clarify the implications of each point, making the argument more cohesive overall.

By addressing these areas, the essay can achieve a higher level of coherence and cohesion, potentially raising the band score in this criterion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 8

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of vocabulary. Terms such as "compassion," "civic engagement," "social fabric," and "practical life skills" illustrate a strong command of language. The use of phrases like "engaging with people facing challenges" and "fostering a sense of responsibility" further highlights the writer’s ability to convey complex ideas effectively.
- How to improve: To elevate the lexical resource even further, the writer could incorporate more varied synonyms and expressions. For instance, instead of repeating "volunteering," alternatives like "community service" or "charitable work" could be used to enhance variety. Additionally, integrating more advanced vocabulary related to social issues could enrich the essay.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The vocabulary used in the essay is largely precise and appropriate for the context. For example, "intensify civic engagement" accurately conveys the idea of increasing participation in community activities. However, the phrase "voluntary works" is slightly awkward; "voluntary work" or "volunteering" would be more standard.
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should review word choices for standard usage. For example, replacing "voluntary works" with "volunteering" would enhance clarity. Additionally, ensuring that all phrases are idiomatic will further strengthen the essay’s overall impact.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The spelling in the essay is accurate, with no noticeable errors. Words like "compassion," "responsibility," and "engagement" are all spelled correctly, reflecting a strong grasp of standard English spelling conventions.
- How to improve: Although spelling is correct, the writer should continue to practice spelling, particularly for more complex or less common words. Regular reading and writing exercises can help reinforce correct spelling habits. Additionally, using tools like spell check can be beneficial, especially during the editing phase.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong command of lexical resource, meriting a band score of 8. By focusing on vocabulary variety, precision, and maintaining spelling accuracy, the writer can further enhance their writing skills.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures. For instance, it effectively employs complex sentences such as "Volunteering helps students develop sympathy by engaging with people facing challenges," which showcases the use of subordinate clauses. Additionally, the use of transitional phrases like "Firstly," "Secondly," and "Finally" helps to organize the ideas clearly. However, while the range is generally strong, there are instances of repetitive sentence beginnings, such as starting several sentences with "Volunteering" or "Students." This could limit the perceived variety in structure.
- How to improve: To enhance the diversity of sentence structures, consider varying the sentence openings and incorporating more compound and complex sentences. For example, instead of starting multiple sentences with "Students," you could rephrase to include introductory phrases or clauses, such as "By participating in community service, students not only…" or "Through their involvement, students can…"
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a high level of grammatical accuracy, with only minor errors. For example, the phrase "voluntary works can intensify civic engagement" could be improved by using "voluntary work" as "work" is typically uncountable in this context. Punctuation is generally well-handled, with appropriate use of commas and periods. However, the phrase "students will have chance to learn" is missing an article, which should read "students will have the chance to learn."
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, pay attention to article usage and ensure that nouns are used correctly (e.g., "work" instead of "works"). Additionally, proofreading for minor errors can help catch these small but impactful mistakes. Consider revising sentences to ensure clarity and correctness, such as changing "students will have chance" to "students will have the opportunity" for improved fluency and precision.

Overall, the essay is well-structured and effectively communicates the argument. By focusing on diversifying sentence structures and refining grammatical accuracy, you can further enhance the quality of your writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

Requiring students to engage in unpaid community service can offer significant educational and social benefits. Here are some key reasons: Firstly, volunteering fosters compassion and social awareness. By assisting those in need, students develop empathy through interacting with individuals facing real-life challenges. This exposure helps them appreciate diverse perspectives and cultivates a sense of responsibility towards their community. Secondly, volunteer work can enhance civic engagement, as students learn the value of contributing to society. It encourages a sense of civic duty and promotes lifelong participation in community service, ultimately strengthening the social fabric. Additionally, students will have the opportunity to learn practical skills. Community service provides hands-on experience outside the classroom, allowing students to develop essential skills such as teamwork, leadership, communication, and problem-solving, which are crucial for personal and professional growth. Finally, volunteering enhances mental and emotional well-being. Helping others can boost self-esteem and instill a sense of purpose. For many students, observing the impact and outcomes of their work can improve mental health and provide a meaningful respite from academic pressures. Overall, unpaid community service benefits both students and society, nurturing future generations who are compassionate, skilled, and engaged citizens.