Some people think that studying from the past teaches us nothing about today’s life. Others argue that history is a valuable source of information. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that studying from the past teaches us nothing about today’s life. Others argue that history is a valuable source of information. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

There is an aspect argue that lesson learned from the past did not help us in today’s situation. Whereas some surpose that it is important to understand from the past. The writer will discuss both view prespectively before concluding that humans ought to know about what happends occurred from the past.
Many critisim surpose that studying from the past help we develop our patriotism. From that we can understand more about how our ancestor fighted and sacrified their best to protect the independence of our nation and improve our sense of identity and culture. Moreover, history make us to get a deeper understanding of our cultural and traditional vules. Therefore we have to make evey possible effect to develop our country.
However, the past and modern life did not have the connection because the world gradually change and there are improvements in technology, science and the way of livings also become different. Because of that, learning from history may not help in today’ life
In my point of view it is important and valuable to get to know more about our history. Since we learn more about the financial, global economics that our ancenstor got over, we can earn experience, avoid repeating mistakes and make better descisions.
To conclude, while there are argue about learning history did not teach us nothing about today’ situation, history still offer valuable information and provide experience for modern society.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

  1. "There is an aspect argue" -> "There is an argument"
    Explanation: "Aspect argue" is grammatically incorrect. The correct phrase should be "an argument," which is the noun form of "argue," indicating a point of discussion.

  2. "lesson learned from the past did not help us in today’s situation" -> "lessons learned from the past do not help us in today’s situations"
    Explanation: "Lesson" should be pluralized to "lessons" to match the plural context of "today’s situations," and "did not help" should be "do not help" for grammatical correctness and consistency in tense.

  3. "surpose" -> "suppose"
    Explanation: "Surpose" is a typographical error and should be corrected to "suppose," which is the correct spelling of the word.

  4. "both view prespectively" -> "both views respectively"
    Explanation: "View prespectively" is incorrect. The correct phrase should be "views respectively," which is the correct adverbial form for discussing multiple views.

  5. "happends occurred" -> "events occurred"
    Explanation: "Happends" is not a word; "events" is the correct term to use when referring to occurrences in history.

  6. "critisim surpose" -> "critics suppose"
    Explanation: "Critisim" is a typographical error and should be corrected to "critics." "Surpose" is also incorrect; "suppose" is the correct verb form.

  7. "help we develop our patriotism" -> "help us develop our patriotism"
    Explanation: "Help we" is grammatically incorrect. The correct form should be "help us," which is the correct subject-verb agreement.

  8. "how our ancestor fighted" -> "how our ancestors fought"
    Explanation: "Fighted" is a misspelling and grammatical error. The correct form is "fought," and "ancestor" should be pluralized to "ancestors" for grammatical agreement.

  9. "sacrified" -> "sacrificed"
    Explanation: "Sacrified" is a typographical error and should be corrected to "sacrificed."

  10. "make evey possible effect" -> "make every possible effort"
    Explanation: "Evey" is a typographical error and should be corrected to "every." "Effect" is also incorrectly used; "effort" is the correct noun needed here.

  11. "the past and modern life did not have the connection" -> "the past and modern life are not connected"
    Explanation: "Did not have the connection" is awkward and unclear. "Are not connected" is a more direct and clear expression.

  12. "the world gradually change" -> "the world is gradually changing"
    Explanation: "Change" should be "changing" to maintain the present continuous tense, which is necessary for describing ongoing processes.

  13. "the way of livings also become different" -> "ways of living also become different"
    Explanation: "The way of livings" is grammatically incorrect. "Ways of living" is the correct plural form needed here.

  14. "learning from history may not help in today’ life" -> "learning from history may not help in today’s life"
    Explanation: "Today’" is a typographical error and should be corrected to "today’s" for possessive form.

  15. "there are argue about" -> "there are arguments about"
    Explanation: "Argue" is a verb and should be replaced with "arguments," which is the noun form needed here.

  16. "learning history did not teach us nothing about today’ situation" -> "learning from history does not teach us anything about today’s situations"
    Explanation: "Did not teach us nothing" is grammatically incorrect and awkward. "Does not teach us anything" is grammatically correct and more formal. "Today’" should be "today’s" for possessive form.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Task Response: 5 – UNDER WORD

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to address both views regarding the value of studying history. However, the discussion is somewhat superficial. For instance, the first paragraph mentions that some believe history does not help us today but lacks a detailed exploration of this perspective. The second paragraph provides a limited argument for the value of history, primarily focusing on patriotism and cultural identity without adequately addressing the broader implications of historical knowledge. The conclusion reiterates the importance of history but does not effectively synthesize the arguments presented.
    • How to improve: To better address all parts of the question, the writer should ensure that each viewpoint is explored in more depth. This could involve providing specific examples or evidence for both sides of the argument. Additionally, a clearer structure that separates the discussion of each view before presenting a personal opinion would enhance clarity.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a personal opinion in the final paragraph, stating that history is valuable. However, the position is not consistently clear throughout the essay. The initial paragraphs present arguments for both sides but do not strongly advocate for the writer’s viewpoint until the conclusion. This can create confusion for the reader regarding the writer’s stance.
    • How to improve: To maintain a clear position, the writer should explicitly state their opinion earlier in the essay, perhaps in the introduction. This would allow the reader to understand the writer’s perspective from the outset. Additionally, reinforcing this position in each paragraph would help to create a cohesive argument.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents some ideas, such as the development of patriotism and cultural identity through history. However, these ideas are not well-developed or supported with sufficient detail or examples. For instance, the mention of ancestors fighting for independence lacks specific historical references that could strengthen the argument. The discussion of modern life lacking connection to the past is also vague and could benefit from more elaboration.
    • How to improve: To effectively present and support ideas, the writer should include specific examples or anecdotes that illustrate their points. This could involve referencing particular historical events or figures that demonstrate the relevance of history to contemporary issues. Additionally, expanding on each idea with explanations and implications would provide a more robust argument.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, discussing the relevance of history to modern life. However, there are moments where the focus shifts, particularly when discussing patriotism and cultural identity, which may not directly relate to the broader question of history’s value. Phrases like "improve our sense of identity and culture" could be seen as tangential to the main argument.
    • How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that all points made directly relate back to the prompt. Each paragraph should clearly connect to the central question of whether studying history is beneficial for understanding today’s life. Using topic sentences that reflect the main argument of each paragraph can help keep the discussion on track.

Overall, to improve the essay, the writer should aim for greater depth in exploring both sides of the argument, maintain a clear and consistent position throughout, provide specific examples to support their ideas, and ensure that all content remains relevant to the prompt. Additionally, addressing the word count issue by expanding on ideas and providing more detailed arguments would likely enhance the overall score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure, beginning with an introduction that outlines the two perspectives on the value of studying history. The body paragraphs are divided into arguments for and against the relevance of history, which helps in organizing the information logically. However, the transition between ideas could be smoother. For instance, the shift from discussing the benefits of studying history to the counterargument about its irrelevance feels abrupt.
    • How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to signal the main idea. Additionally, integrating transitional phrases (e.g., "On the other hand," "Conversely") can help guide the reader through the argument more fluidly.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, which is crucial for clarity. Each paragraph addresses a distinct aspect of the discussion, which is a strength. However, some paragraphs could be better developed. For example, the paragraph discussing the benefits of studying history could include more specific examples or evidence to support the claims made.
    • How to improve: To improve paragraph effectiveness, ensure that each paragraph contains a clear main idea followed by supporting details. Consider expanding on the examples provided, such as elaborating on specific historical events that illustrate the benefits of learning from the past. This will strengthen the argument and provide a more comprehensive view.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "Moreover" and "However," to connect ideas. However, the range of cohesive devices used is somewhat limited, and there are instances where the connections between sentences and ideas could be clearer. For example, the phrase "Because of that" is somewhat informal and could be replaced with a more formal cohesive device.
    • How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a variety of linking words and phrases, such as "Furthermore," "In addition," "Consequently," and "As a result." This will enhance the overall coherence of the essay. Additionally, ensure that cohesive devices are used appropriately to connect ideas logically and maintain the flow of the argument.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and presents a coherent argument, improvements in logical organization, paragraph development, and the use of cohesive devices will help elevate the score in Coherence and Cohesion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable attempt to use a variety of vocabulary, but it often falls short of showcasing a wide range. For instance, phrases like "lesson learned from the past" and "understand from the past" are somewhat repetitive and lack sophistication. The use of "patriotism," "sacrificed," and "cultural values" indicates some level of vocabulary variety, but the overall range is limited, particularly in expressing nuanced ideas.
    • How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should incorporate synonyms and more complex phrases. For example, instead of repeating "understand from the past," alternatives like "gain insights from historical events" or "draw lessons from history" could be used. Additionally, exploring academic or topic-specific vocabulary related to history and its relevance could enrich the essay.
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: There are instances of imprecise vocabulary usage that detract from the clarity of the argument. For example, the phrase "the past and modern life did not have the connection" could be more effectively expressed as "there is a disconnect between historical events and contemporary life." Similarly, "humans ought to know about what happens occurred from the past" is awkwardly phrased and lacks clarity.
    • How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on using vocabulary that accurately conveys their intended meaning. This can be achieved by revising sentences for clarity and ensuring that word choices align with standard usage. For instance, instead of "help we develop our patriotism," a more precise phrase would be "help us cultivate a sense of patriotism."
  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "surpose" (suppose), "critisim" (criticism), "fighted" (fought), "sacrified" (sacrificed), "vules" (values), "evey" (every), "happends" (happened), "ancestors" (ancestors), and "descisions" (decisions). These errors can hinder comprehension and detract from the overall quality of the writing.
    • How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should implement a proofreading strategy. This could involve reading the essay aloud to catch errors or using spell-check tools. Additionally, practicing spelling through writing exercises focused on frequently misspelled words can help reinforce correct spelling in future essays.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a basic understanding of the topic and attempts to engage with the prompt, improvements in vocabulary range, precision, and spelling are essential for achieving a higher band score in the Lexical Resource criterion.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of sentence structures. For instance, simple sentences are predominant, such as "The writer will discuss both view prespectively before concluding that humans ought to know about what happends occurred from the past." While there are some attempts at complex sentences, they often lack clarity and grammatical correctness, which detracts from their effectiveness. Phrases like "the past and modern life did not have the connection" indicate a basic attempt at complexity but are awkwardly constructed.
    • How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, the writer should practice using a mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences. For example, instead of saying, "the past and modern life did not have the connection," a more effective structure could be, "Although there are connections between the past and modern life, significant differences exist due to technological advancements." Additionally, incorporating more varied sentence beginnings and using subordinating conjunctions can help create more complex sentences.
  • Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that hinder clarity. For example, "There is an aspect argue that lesson learned from the past did not help us in today’s situation" should be corrected to "There is an argument that lessons learned from the past do not help us in today’s situations." The misuse of verb forms (e.g., "surpose" instead of "suppose," "fighted" instead of "fought") and pluralization issues (e.g., "view prespectively" should be "views prospectively") contribute to the overall grammatical inaccuracies. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with commas and apostrophes, as seen in "today’ life" instead of "today’s life."
    • How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on reviewing verb forms and subject-verb agreement. Regular practice with grammar exercises, particularly those focusing on common errors, can be beneficial. Additionally, proofreading for punctuation errors can help; using tools like grammar checkers or seeking feedback from peers can assist in identifying mistakes. Reading more academic texts can also provide insight into proper grammar and punctuation usage.

In summary, while the essay presents a relevant discussion on the topic, significant improvements in grammatical range and accuracy are necessary to achieve a higher band score. By diversifying sentence structures and enhancing grammatical and punctuation accuracy, the writer can strengthen their writing and better convey their ideas.

Bài sửa mẫu

There is an argument that lessons learned from the past do not help us in today’s situations, whereas some suppose that it is important to learn from history. The writer will discuss both views respectively before concluding that humans ought to know about the events that occurred in the past.

Many critics suppose that studying history helps us develop our patriotism. From this perspective, we can gain a deeper understanding of how our ancestors fought and sacrificed their best to protect the independence of our nation, which in turn enhances our sense of identity and culture. Moreover, history allows us to gain a deeper understanding of our cultural and traditional values. Therefore, we must make every possible effort to develop our country.

However, some argue that the past and modern life are not connected because the world is gradually changing, and there are improvements in technology and science, which have altered our ways of living. Because of this, learning from history may not help in today’s life.

In my point of view, it is important and valuable to know more about our history. By learning about the financial and global economic challenges that our ancestors faced, we can gain experience, avoid repeating mistakes, and make better decisions.

To conclude, while there are arguments that learning from history does not teach us anything about today’s situations, history still offers valuable information and provides experience for modern society.

Bài viết liên quan

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more accessible. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more…

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