Some people think that the best way to increase road safety is to increase the minimum legal age for driving cars or riding motorbikes. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the current epoch of technological advancements, there is continuing discourse on the effectiveness of raising the minimum legal age for driving cars or riding motorbikes as a preemptive measure to enhance road safety. I argue that road safety is a multifaceted issue, and a comprehensive approach involving education, law enforcement, and infrastructure improvements is imperative.

Advocates assert that increasing the minimum legal driving age is a proactive step to address the lack of maturity and experience among younger drivers, contributing to safer navigation of complex traffic scenarios. Furthermore, they posit that a higher age requirement would result in more responsible and skilled drivers, ultimately reducing accidents involving younger individuals. However, it is imperative to acknowledge that age in isolation does not determine a driver's competence or responsibility.

Instead of solely depending on age restrictions, a comprehensive strategy involves robust driver education programs, rigorous licensing requirements, and persistent law enforcement to ensure adherence to traffic rules. Education can instill responsible driving habits, and effective law enforcement can deter risky behaviors irrespective of age.

Enhancing road infrastructure and integrating cutting-edge safety features play integral roles in preventing accidents. Investments in well-maintained roads, clear signage, and technological advancements, such as collision-avoidance systems, significantly contribute to the enhancement of the transportation system. Through addressing the multifaceted aspects of road safety, societies can strive to create environments where drivers of all ages can navigate the roads responsibly and safely.

In conclusion, while advocates argue for raising the minimum legal driving age as a preemptive measure for road safety, it is essential to recognize that it is not a standalone solution. A comprehensive strategy, encompassing education and infrastructure improvements, is crucial for establishing a safer and more efficient traffic environment. By addressing the multifaceted nature of road safety, societies can work towards creating environments where drivers of all ages can navigate the roads responsibly and safely.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

"epoch" -> "era"
Explanation: Replacing "epoch" with "era" maintains a formal tone while using a more commonly accepted term in academic writing.
"continuing discourse" -> "ongoing debate"
Explanation: Substituting "continuing discourse" with "ongoing debate" simplifies the expression without compromising formality, providing a more straightforward description of the discussion.
"I argue" -> "I contend"
Explanation: Replacing "I argue" with "I contend" introduces a slightly more formal and assertive tone, enhancing the author’s position in the academic context.
"motorbikes" -> "motorcycles"
Explanation: The term "motorcycles" is a more formal and widely accepted term than "motorbikes" in academic writing.
"proactive step" -> "preemptive measure"
Explanation: Substituting "proactive step" with "preemptive measure" maintains formality while offering a more precise expression for the intended meaning.
"posit" -> "assert"
Explanation: The term "assert" is more academically formal than "posit," providing a stronger and more confident expression of the advocated viewpoint.
"imperative" -> "essential"
Explanation: While "imperative" is acceptable, replacing it with "essential" maintains formality while offering a synonymous term for variety.
"is imperative" -> "is crucial"
Explanation: The term "crucial" is used as a more varied and equally formal alternative to "imperative" in this context.
"acknowledge" -> "recognize"
Explanation: Replacing "acknowledge" with "recognize" maintains formality while offering a synonym that fits well in the academic context.
"robust" -> "comprehensive"
Explanation: Substituting "robust" with "comprehensive" provides a more precise term for describing the driver education programs in a formal manner.
"persistent" -> "consistent"
Explanation: The term "consistent" is used as a slightly more formal and suitable alternative to "persistent" in the context of law enforcement.
"instill" -> "cultivate"
Explanation: While "instill" is acceptable, replacing it with "cultivate" introduces a more sophisticated term without sacrificing clarity.
"cutting-edge" -> "advanced"
Explanation: Substituting "cutting-edge" with "advanced" maintains formality while offering a more straightforward term in the context of safety features.
"significantly contribute to" -> "substantially contribute to"
Explanation: The addition of "substantially" provides a nuanced and more emphatic expression of the contribution of investments to the enhancement of the transportation system.
"strive to" -> "aim to"
Explanation: Replacing "strive to" with "aim to" maintains formality while offering a synonym that aligns well with academic writing conventions.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Quoted text: "Advocates assert that increasing the minimum legal driving age is a proactive step to address the lack of maturity and experience among younger drivers, contributing to safer navigation of complex traffic scenarios."
- Explanation and Improvement Suggestion: This point effectively outlines the argument in favor of raising the minimum driving age, but it lacks specific examples or instances to bolster the argument. To strengthen this, you could incorporate real-life scenarios or anecdotes illustrating how the lack of maturity and experience among younger drivers leads to challenges in navigating complex traffic situations.
- Improved example: "Advocates assert that increasing the minimum legal driving age is crucial due to the evident lack of maturity and experience among younger drivers. For instance, statistics reveal that a significant number of accidents involving teenage drivers occur due to their inexperience in handling sudden road hazards, such as heavy traffic or adverse weather conditions."
Quoted text: "Furthermore, they posit that a higher age requirement would result in more responsible and skilled drivers, ultimately reducing accidents involving younger individuals."

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8

Band Score: 8.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a commendable level of coherence and cohesion, placing it within Band 8. The ideas are logically sequenced, and there is a clear progression throughout the essay. The introduction sets the stage effectively, presenting the topic in the context of technological advancements. Each paragraph unfolds logically, building on the previous one, and the essay maintains a clear focus on the multifaceted nature of road safety.

The writer skillfully uses cohesive devices to connect ideas, contributing to the overall flow of the essay. The transition between paragraphs is smooth, creating a cohesive narrative. Additionally, the essay effectively addresses the complexity of the topic, discussing both sides of the argument and providing a nuanced perspective.

Paragraphing is well-managed, with each paragraph presenting a clear central topic. The essay’s structure enhances the reader’s understanding of the arguments presented. The language used is precise, contributing to the overall coherence of the essay.

How to improve:
To further enhance coherence and cohesion, consider refining the use of cohesive devices for even smoother transitions between sentences and paragraphs. While the essay effectively presents a comprehensive argument, there could be opportunities to strengthen the logical progression within paragraphs by ensuring that each sentence contributes seamlessly to the overall flow.

Overall, the essay is well-structured, logically organized, and effectively uses cohesive devices. With minor refinements, it has the potential to reach an even higher band score.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary, allowing for flexibility and precision in conveying ideas. There is effective use of less common lexical items with some awareness of style and collocation. The writer maintains a generally accurate choice of words, although there are occasional errors in word choice, such as "epoch" and "persistent" in the context. Overall, the vocabulary contributes to a clear and coherent expression of ideas.

How to improve: To further enhance the lexical resource, the writer should strive for more precision in word choice and collocation. Careful proofreading can help eliminate occasional errors and ensure a more consistent and accurate use of vocabulary. Additionally, incorporating a few more advanced and varied lexical items could elevate the overall richness of the language.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score: 8.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a commendable grasp of grammar and sentence structures. There’s a diverse use of sentence forms and structures, showcasing a strong command of the language. The majority of sentences are error-free, with occasional minor errors that do not hinder comprehension or communication. The essay maintains a consistent level of grammatical accuracy and complexity throughout, reflecting a wide range of structures.

How to Improve:
To elevate the score closer to a Band 9, focus on refining the minor errors that occasionally appear. Review sentence structures thoroughly to minimize any slips or minor inaccuracies. Additionally, strive for even greater flexibility in the use of complex structures to further enhance the essay’s overall fluency and sophistication.

Bài sửa mẫu

In the ongoing debate about how best to enhance road safety, there is a suggestion to increase the minimum legal age for driving cars or riding motorcycles as a preemptive measure. I contend that road safety is a complex issue requiring a comprehensive approach involving education, law enforcement, and infrastructure improvements.

Supporters assert that raising the minimum legal driving age is crucial to address the lack of maturity and experience among younger drivers, aiming to create safer navigation in challenging traffic situations. They argue that a higher age requirement would lead to more responsible and skilled drivers, ultimately reducing accidents involving younger individuals. However, it is crucial to recognize that age alone does not determine a driver’s competence or responsibility.

Rather than relying solely on age restrictions, a comprehensive strategy involves robust driver education programs, stringent licensing requirements, and consistent law enforcement to ensure adherence to traffic rules. Education can cultivate responsible driving habits, while effective law enforcement can deter risky behaviors regardless of age.

Improving road infrastructure and integrating advanced safety features play essential roles in preventing accidents. Investments in well-maintained roads, clear signage, and advanced technologies, such as collision-avoidance systems, substantially contribute to enhancing the transportation system. By addressing the multifaceted aspects of road safety, societies can work towards creating environments where drivers of all ages can navigate the roads responsibly and safely.

In conclusion, while advocates argue for raising the minimum legal driving age as a preemptive measure for road safety, it is essential to recognize that it is not a standalone solution. A comprehensive strategy, encompassing education and infrastructure improvements, is crucial for establishing a safer and more efficient traffic environment. By addressing the multifaceted nature of road safety, societies can aim to create environments where drivers of all ages can navigate the roads responsibly and safely.

Some people think that the best way to increase road safety is to increase the minimum legal age for driving cars or riding motorbikes. To what extent do you agree or disagree?