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some people think that the best way to preserve cultural heritage is to have strict laws and regulations that limit the development and use of historical sites and buildings. Others, however, think that the best way to preserve cultural heritage is to have more public participation and education that raises awareness and appreciation of historical sites and buildings. Discuss both views and give your opinions.

some people think that the best way to preserve cultural heritage is to have strict laws and regulations that limit the development and use of historical sites and buildings. Others, however, think that the best way to preserve cultural heritage is to have more public participation and education that raises awareness and appreciation of historical sites and buildings. Discuss both views and give your opinions.

Individuals hold divergent views about whether the authorities should enact rigid laws to minimize the devastation of historical relics or heighten public awareness of preserving cultural sites. This essay discusses both opinions and reasons for my support for the latter perspective.
To begin with, legislation is believed to be the most effective way to keep the ancient buildings in their authentic state. At first, managers of these prehistoric structures usually need to restore the relics in a very short period to accommodate commercialization and end up losing their initial looks. Therefore, in such instances, laws and regulations play a pivotal role in preventing the workers from totally rebuilding these architectures into new constructions. Moreover, strict laws and heavy fines would be efficient in limiting the irresponsible behavior of tourists, such as littering haphazardly or even stealing relics for home, which directly influence the study of archeologists.
In terms of another viewpoint, I strongly advocate that education and asking for public participation are the superior methods for preserving ancient sites and buildings. By putting old structures on public display, the governments heighten people’s awareness of preserving these architectures. Furthermore, if the antique constructions are utilized as sources of teaching, children could understand thoroughly how their ancestors lived, we also ensure that they are interested in their heritage and take pride in their identity. In addition, the revenue from tourism could be used for the preservation of the buildings. To cite Hue City as an example, the total income from travel is spent on the recovery of the Nguyen’s citadel and kings’ monuments.
In conclusion, it seems to me that even though laws and regulations have proved certain benefits in maintaining old buildings, the option of teaching citizens about their value and encouraging communal involvement is ultimately more.


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Errors and Improvements:

  1. "devastation of historical relics" -> "deterioration of historical artifacts"
    Explanation: Replacing "devastation of historical relics" with "deterioration of historical artifacts" provides a more precise and formal term, aligning with academic language and emphasizing the gradual decline of cultural items.

  2. "legislation is believed to be" -> "legislation is considered to be"
    Explanation: Replacing "believed to be" with "considered to be" adds a more formal tone, indicating a thoughtful and reasoned perspective on the effectiveness of legislation.

  3. "ancient buildings in their authentic state" -> "historic structures in their original state"
    Explanation: Substituting "ancient buildings in their authentic state" with "historic structures in their original state" maintains clarity while employing a more precise and sophisticated description.

  4. "managers of these prehistoric structures" -> "caretakers of these historical structures"
    Explanation: Changing "managers of these prehistoric structures" to "caretakers of these historical structures" introduces a more refined term, emphasizing the responsible role of those overseeing the preservation efforts.

  5. "littering haphazardly" -> "disposing of waste indiscriminately"
    Explanation: Replacing "littering haphazardly" with "disposing of waste indiscriminately" enhances formality and specificity, providing a more accurate description of undesirable tourist behavior.

  6. "antique constructions" -> "historic structures"
    Explanation: Substituting "antique constructions" with "historic structures" maintains clarity while using a more standard and formal term.

  7. "Hue City" -> "The city of Hue"
    Explanation: Adding "The city of" before "Hue" follows a more formal convention when referring to a specific location in academic writing.

  8. "even though laws and regulations have proved certain benefits" -> "while laws and regulations have demonstrated some advantages"
    Explanation: Changing "even though laws and regulations have proved certain benefits" to "while laws and regulations have demonstrated some advantages" adds a more formal and nuanced expression to convey the idea of effectiveness.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed Explanation: The essay effectively addresses both perspectives presented in the prompt. It discusses the idea of implementing strict laws and regulations as well as promoting public participation and education for the preservation of cultural heritage. The views are clearly presented, and the writer expresses support for the latter perspective.
    • How to Improve: While the essay does well in addressing all parts of the question, providing a more nuanced discussion by considering potential drawbacks or counterarguments to the chosen perspective could enhance the depth of the analysis.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed Explanation: The essay maintains a clear and consistent stance in favor of public participation and education as the superior method for preserving cultural heritage. The writer’s position is evident from the introduction to the conclusion.
    • How to Improve: To further strengthen the clarity of the position, consider incorporating a clear thesis statement in the introduction that explicitly states the writer’s perspective on the issue.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed Explanation: The essay presents, extends, and supports ideas adequately. It provides reasons for both perspectives and supports the chosen viewpoint with examples, such as the potential negative impact of commercialization and the positive outcomes of using tourism revenue for preservation.
    • How to Improve: To enhance the development of ideas, consider expanding on the potential counterarguments to the chosen perspective, providing a more thorough analysis of opposing views.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed Explanation: The essay generally stays on topic by discussing the preservation of cultural heritage through laws and regulations versus public participation and education. However, there are moments where the discussion could be more focused and directly related to the prompt.
    • How to Improve: Ensure that each point made directly connects to the prompt and contributes to the overall discussion. Avoid introducing tangential ideas that may distract from the central theme.

Overall, this essay effectively addresses the prompt, maintains a clear stance, develops and supports ideas, and mostly stays on topic. To further improve, consider providing a more nuanced discussion, explicitly stating the thesis in the introduction, and maintaining a laser-like focus on the central theme throughout the essay.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a generally logical organization. It starts with a clear introduction, addresses both perspectives in separate body paragraphs, and concludes with a concise summary. However, the essay could enhance its logical flow by providing smoother transitions between paragraphs. For instance, a more explicit transition sentence at the end of the first body paragraph could guide the reader into the second viewpoint more seamlessly.
    • How to improve: Introduce each paragraph with a clear topic sentence that relates to the overall argument. Use transition sentences between paragraphs to establish a more fluid connection between ideas. This will enhance the coherence of the essay.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay employs paragraphs to organize ideas, with distinct sections for the introduction, each viewpoint, and the conclusion. However, there’s room for improvement in paragraph development. The second paragraph, discussing the benefits of legislation, could be more focused, with separate points explored in individual sentences for clarity.
    • How to improve: Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea, and support it with specific examples or explanations. Break down complex ideas into separate sentences to enhance readability and coherence. This will contribute to a more effective use of paragraphs.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay utilizes cohesive devices reasonably well, with appropriate use of linking words (e.g., "To begin with," "Moreover," "In terms of another viewpoint," "Furthermore," "In addition," "In conclusion"). However, there is room for diversification in sentence structures and the introduction of more sophisticated cohesive devices.
    • How to improve: Experiment with a variety of cohesive devices such as pronouns ("this," "these"), synonyms, and parallel structures. Vary sentence structures to create a more engaging and coherent narrative. This will add depth to the essay’s cohesion and contribute to a higher level of language proficiency.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid coherence and cohesion level but could benefit from refinements in paragraph development, transitions, and the introduction of more diverse cohesive devices to elevate its overall quality.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary. There is a reasonable variety of words used throughout the essay, but some repetition is noticeable, and certain terms are employed rather generically. For instance, phrases like "ancient buildings" and "historic structures" are repeated without offering specific descriptors or alternatives.
    • How to improve: To enhance your score, strive for more diversity in your vocabulary. Consider using specific terms to describe historical sites and buildings, and avoid overly general expressions. For example, instead of repeatedly using "ancient buildings," you could employ descriptors like "time-honored monuments" or "archaic edifices" to add nuance.
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay occasionally lacks precision in vocabulary use. For instance, the term "restore" is used broadly, and it would be beneficial to specify whether the restoration involves preservation or reconstruction. Additionally, some terms, such as "commercialization," could be more precisely replaced with words that capture the specific aspect of economic exploitation.
    • How to improve: Work on honing the precision of your vocabulary. Clearly differentiate between terms like preservation and reconstruction when discussing restoration. Choose words that precisely convey the intended meaning. For instance, instead of "commercialization," you might use "exploitation" or "monetization" depending on the specific context.
  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally exhibits a satisfactory level of spelling accuracy. However, there are instances where errors, such as "recover" instead of "recovery" and "communal" instead of "community," are present. These errors do not significantly impede understanding, but addressing them would contribute to a polished piece.
    • How to improve: Pay closer attention to spelling details. Review your work carefully to catch such errors. Consider utilizing spelling and grammar check tools during the proofreading process to identify and rectify minor spelling inaccuracies. Developing a habit of proofreading systematically can enhance the overall accuracy of your written work.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a decent range of sentence structures, including complex and compound sentences. There is evidence of the use of introductory phrases and clauses to vary sentence beginnings. However, some sentences are repetitive, and a more diverse use of complex structures, such as relative clauses or conditional sentences, could enhance the essay’s sophistication.
    • How to improve: To elevate the variety of sentence structures, consider incorporating more complex grammatical constructions. Introduce relative clauses, employ conditional sentences, and experiment with different sentence lengths to add nuance and depth to your writing.
  • Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay demonstrates a reasonably high level of grammatical accuracy. However, there are instances of minor grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ("the authorities should enact" could be "the authorities should enact"), and some awkward phrasing ("managers of these prehistoric structures usually need to restore the relics" could be "those responsible for managing historical sites often find themselves needing to restore the relics").
    • How to improve: Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement and sentence structure. Proofread carefully to identify and rectify any awkward phrasing. Additionally, consider seeking feedback from peers or utilizing grammar-check tools to catch subtle grammatical errors.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid command of grammar and a commendable range of sentence structures. To enhance your score further, focus on diversifying sentence structures and addressing minor grammatical errors. Keep refining your writing skills through practice and attention to detail.

Bài sửa mẫu

Divergent opinions exist regarding whether authorities should establish stringent laws to minimize the deterioration of historical artifacts or emphasize public awareness for preserving cultural sites. This essay explores both perspectives, and I lean towards supporting the latter.

To commence, legislation is considered to be an effective approach to maintain ancient structures in their original state. Often, caretakers of these historical structures face pressure to swiftly restore relics for commercial purposes, leading to the loss of their authentic appearance. Therefore, laws play a crucial role in preventing complete reconstruction, ensuring the preservation of these architectures. Additionally, imposing strict laws and substantial fines can deter irresponsible tourist behavior, such as indiscriminate littering or theft of relics, which directly impacts archaeological studies.

On the other hand, I firmly believe that education and encouraging public participation are superior methods for safeguarding ancient sites and buildings. Displaying historical structures publicly raises awareness about the importance of preserving these architectures. Moreover, integrating antique constructions into educational initiatives allows children to gain a comprehensive understanding of their ancestors’ lives, fostering a sense of pride in their heritage. The revenue generated from tourism can also be allocated to the conservation of these buildings. For instance, in the city of Hue, the entire income from tourism is dedicated to the restoration of the Nguyen’s citadel and kings’ monuments.

In conclusion, while laws and regulations offer certain advantages in maintaining historical buildings, I believe that educating citizens about the value of cultural heritage and promoting community involvement ultimately holds more significance.

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