some people think that the government should provide free education to students in university. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
some people think that the government should provide free education to students in university. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
While some individuals argue that providing free–of–charge university education should be done by the government, others claim that students should bear the costs by themselves. From my point of view, I partly agree with this idea based on some reasons that are explained in this essay.
On the one hand, it is a fact that numerous students who have the prerequisite for higher education admission fail to make the university entry because of their poor family background. Thus, subsidizing tuition-free education would help those students access to academic knowledge which means utilizing the potential laboratory and also promoting an equitable society. Education plays a vital role in the development of a country when it provides skilled workforce to contribute to the nation’s economy and other fields. Therefore, the government should bear the costs for all citizens to increase accessibility to higher education for disadvantaged demographic groups to improve general society’s ability.
On the other hand, in spite of some possible advantages that offering free tuition at universities could bring about, it could pose some challenges. Firstly, the budget may not be able to take on the fees for all students due to the fact that there is a variety of urgent problems that require resolution such as environmental pollution and healthcare. Therefore, it might place significant pressure on the government to provide totally free higher education. Moreover, not all students have limited financial resources for education, so it would be a waste of money if we did not carefully select and consider the students’ family background.
In conclusion, making universities free for the whole citizens may help promote equitable access for students with poor economic backgrounds to utilize the potential laboratory. However, it may also lead to money waste when those subsidies may not only be used for disadvantaged students but also those who have enough ability to pay the tuition fees. Therefore, it would be more advantageous for the government to subsidize after taking into deep consideration based on certain standards such as the students’ parents’ income.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
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"free–of–charge" -> "complimentary"
Explanation: The term "complimentary" is more precise and formal, fitting better in an academic context than the hyphenated "free–of–charge," which can appear awkward and informal. -
"bear the costs by themselves" -> "cover the costs themselves"
Explanation: "Cover the costs" is a more direct and formal expression than "bear the costs," which is slightly less common in academic writing. -
"From my point of view" -> "In my opinion"
Explanation: "In my opinion" is a more standard and formal phrase in academic writing, replacing the more conversational "From my point of view." -
"some reasons that are explained in this essay" -> "the reasons discussed in this essay"
Explanation: "The reasons discussed in this essay" is more precise and formal, avoiding the vagueness of "some reasons." -
"it is a fact that" -> "it is evident that"
Explanation: "It is evident that" is a more academically appropriate phrase, suggesting a clear and established truth rather than the less formal "it is a fact that." -
"access to academic knowledge" -> "access to academic education"
Explanation: "Access to academic education" is more specific and appropriate in the context of discussing university education, compared to the broader term "academic knowledge." -
"utilizing the potential laboratory" -> "utilizing the potential of the laboratory"
Explanation: Adding "of the" clarifies that the potential refers to the capabilities of the laboratory, enhancing the sentence’s clarity and formality. -
"promoting an equitable society" -> "advancing social equity"
Explanation: "Advancing social equity" is a more precise and formal way to describe the promotion of fairness and equality in society. -
"the government should bear the costs for all citizens" -> "the government should assume the costs for all citizens"
Explanation: "Assume the costs" is a more formal and precise term than "bear the costs," which is somewhat colloquial. -
"in spite of some possible advantages" -> "despite some potential advantages"
Explanation: "Despite" is more formal than "in spite of," and "potential" is more precise than "possible" in this context. -
"the budget may not be able to take on the fees" -> "the budget may not be able to absorb the fees"
Explanation: "Absorb" is a more precise term in this context, indicating the ability to handle or manage financial burdens. -
"it might place significant pressure" -> "it could impose significant pressure"
Explanation: "Impose" is a more formal and precise verb than "place" in this context, suggesting a direct application of pressure. -
"making universities free for the whole citizens" -> "making university education free for all citizens"
Explanation: "University education" is a more specific and formal term than "universities," and "all citizens" is more inclusive and formal than "the whole citizens." -
"it may also lead to money waste" -> "it may also result in financial waste"
Explanation: "Financial waste" is a more precise and formal term than "money waste," which is colloquial and vague. -
"taking into deep consideration" -> "carefully considering"
Explanation: "Carefully considering" is a more concise and formal expression than "taking into deep consideration," which is redundant and less commonly used in academic writing.
Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Task Response: 7
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Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both sides of the argument regarding whether the government should provide free university education. The author acknowledges the benefits of free education for disadvantaged students and the potential challenges it poses for government budgets. However, the response could be more explicit in stating the extent of agreement or disagreement with the idea, which is a key aspect of the prompt.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should clearly articulate their position on the extent of their agreement or disagreement at the beginning and reinforce it throughout the essay. A more definitive statement in the introduction and a summary of the extent of agreement in the conclusion would clarify the author’s stance.
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Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a position that is somewhat clear but lacks consistency. The phrase "I partly agree" suggests a nuanced view, yet the essay oscillates between supporting free education and highlighting its drawbacks without a strong guiding thread. This can lead to confusion about the author’s ultimate stance.
- How to improve: The writer should maintain a clear position by consistently linking back to their initial claim throughout the essay. Using transitional phrases that reinforce their viewpoint (e.g., "While I acknowledge the challenges, I believe…") can help maintain clarity and coherence.
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Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents relevant ideas, such as the benefits of equitable access to education and the financial challenges of free tuition. However, some points could be further developed. For instance, the discussion on the economic impact of education is a strong point but lacks specific examples or data to substantiate it.
- How to improve: To strengthen the essay, the author should provide more detailed examples or statistics to support their claims. For instance, mentioning specific countries that have successfully implemented free education or studies showing the economic benefits of an educated workforce would enhance the argument.
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Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, addressing the prompt regarding government-funded education. However, there are moments where the discussion becomes slightly tangential, such as when mentioning urgent problems like environmental pollution and healthcare without directly linking them back to the main argument about education funding.
- How to improve: The writer should ensure that all points made directly relate back to the central argument of free university education. This can be achieved by explicitly connecting each point to the main thesis and avoiding unrelated issues unless they directly support the argument being made.
Overall, while the essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and presents relevant arguments, it could benefit from clearer articulation of the author’s position, more detailed support for ideas, and tighter focus on the prompt throughout.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7
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Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear argument structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The first body paragraph effectively discusses the benefits of free university education, while the second addresses potential drawbacks. However, the transition between these two points could be smoother. For instance, the phrase "On the other hand" is used to introduce the second paragraph, but a more explicit connection to the previous paragraph could enhance the logical flow.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using transitional phrases that not only indicate a shift in perspective but also summarize the previous point. For example, you could start the second paragraph with a sentence that briefly acknowledges the importance of free education before introducing the challenges, such as: "While the benefits of free university education are significant, there are also considerable challenges that must be addressed."
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Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs effectively, with each paragraph focusing on a distinct aspect of the argument. The first paragraph discusses the advantages of free education, while the second addresses the potential issues. However, the conclusion could be more effectively structured to summarize the main points and reinforce the writer’s stance.
- How to improve: To improve paragraphing, ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that encapsulates its main idea. Additionally, the conclusion should not only restate the main points but also provide a definitive stance. For instance, you could revise the conclusion to clearly state your position: "In conclusion, while free university education can promote equity, it is essential for the government to implement a targeted subsidy system that prioritizes those in genuine need."
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Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "On the one hand" and "On the other hand," which help to delineate contrasting ideas. However, the range of cohesive devices used is somewhat limited, and there are instances where the connections between sentences could be strengthened. For example, the phrase "it could pose some challenges" could be better linked to the previous sentence to clarify the relationship between the ideas.
- How to improve: To diversify and effectively use cohesive devices, incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases. For example, use "Furthermore" or "In addition" to introduce supporting points, and "Consequently" or "As a result" to indicate the implications of a statement. Additionally, ensure that pronouns and synonyms are used to refer back to previously mentioned ideas, enhancing the overall coherence of the essay. For instance, instead of repeating "the government," you could use "it" or "this approach" in subsequent sentences to maintain cohesion.
By addressing these areas for improvement, the essay can achieve a higher level of coherence and cohesion, ultimately enhancing the overall clarity and effectiveness of the argument presented.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7
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Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with terms like "subsidizing," "equitable society," "disadvantaged demographic groups," and "potential laboratory." These choices show an ability to articulate complex ideas related to the topic. However, there are instances where the vocabulary could be more varied or sophisticated. For example, the phrase "poor family background" is repeated, which could be replaced with synonyms such as "financially disadvantaged" or "low-income families" to enhance lexical diversity.
- How to improve: To improve, the writer should aim to incorporate a broader range of synonyms and phrases. Practicing with vocabulary lists related to education and economics could help. Additionally, reading more academic articles or essays could expose the writer to varied expressions and contexts.
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Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary accurately, but there are moments where precision could be improved. For instance, the phrase "utilizing the potential laboratory" is somewhat unclear. It seems to imply using educational resources, but the wording is vague and could confuse readers. Furthermore, the term "money waste" is informal; a more precise term would be "inefficient allocation of funds."
- How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should focus on clarity and specificity in word choice. Revising sentences to ensure that each term accurately conveys the intended meaning is crucial. Engaging in exercises that focus on collocations and context-specific vocabulary can also aid in this area.
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Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The spelling in the essay is largely accurate, with no glaring errors that detract from the overall readability. Words like "subsidizing," "education," and "government" are spelled correctly, demonstrating a solid grasp of English spelling conventions. However, the phrase "the whole citizens" is awkward; it would be more appropriate to say "all citizens" or "the entire population."
- How to improve: To further improve spelling accuracy, the writer should engage in regular proofreading practices, perhaps reading the essay aloud to catch any awkward phrases or errors. Utilizing spell-check tools and practicing commonly misspelled words can also be beneficial.
Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid command of vocabulary, but there is room for improvement in terms of variety, precision, and clarity. By focusing on these areas, the writer can enhance their lexical resource and potentially achieve a higher band score in future essays.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7
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Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures, including complex sentences and conditional clauses. For instance, phrases like "it is a fact that numerous students who have the prerequisite for higher education admission fail to make the university entry" showcase the use of relative clauses and complex structures effectively. However, there are instances of repetitive sentence beginnings and a reliance on similar structures, such as "the government should" and "it could," which can limit the overall range.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, consider varying the sentence openings and incorporating more compound-complex sentences. For example, instead of starting multiple sentences with "the government should," try rephrasing or using introductory phrases. Additionally, using more varied conjunctions and transitions can help create a smoother flow and enhance the complexity of the writing.
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Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains a good level of grammatical accuracy, with only a few minor errors. For instance, the phrase "access to academic knowledge which means utilizing the potential laboratory" could be improved for clarity and grammatical correctness; it would be clearer as "access to academic knowledge, which means utilizing the potential of laboratories." Punctuation is mostly accurate, but there are some areas where commas could improve readability, such as before "and also promoting an equitable society" to separate ideas more clearly.
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, pay close attention to sentence clarity and punctuation usage. Reviewing comma rules, especially in complex sentences, can help. Additionally, proofreading for minor errors or awkward phrasing can improve overall coherence. Consider practicing with exercises focused on common grammatical pitfalls, such as subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles, to further solidify your skills.
Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid grasp of grammatical range and accuracy, focusing on diversifying sentence structures and refining grammatical precision will help elevate the writing to a higher band score.
Bài sửa mẫu
While some individuals argue that the government should provide complimentary university education, others contend that students should cover the costs themselves. In my opinion, I partly agree with this idea based on several reasons that are discussed in this essay.
On the one hand, it is evident that numerous students who possess the qualifications for higher education often fail to gain admission due to their poor family background. Thus, subsidizing tuition-free education would help these students gain access to academic education, which means utilizing the potential of the laboratory and promoting social equity. Education plays a vital role in the development of a country by providing a skilled workforce that contributes to the nation’s economy and other sectors. Therefore, the government should assume the costs for all citizens to enhance accessibility to higher education for disadvantaged demographic groups, ultimately improving society’s overall capabilities.
On the other hand, despite some potential advantages that offering free tuition at universities could bring, it could also impose significant challenges. Firstly, the budget may not be able to absorb the fees for all students, especially given the variety of urgent issues that require attention, such as environmental pollution and healthcare. Consequently, it could place considerable pressure on the government to provide completely free higher education. Moreover, not all students have limited financial resources, so it may result in financial waste if we do not carefully consider the students’ family backgrounds.
In conclusion, making university education free for all citizens may help promote equitable access for students from economically disadvantaged backgrounds to utilize the potential of the laboratory. However, it may also lead to financial waste if these subsidies are not exclusively directed toward those who truly need them. Therefore, it would be more advantageous for the government to provide support after carefully considering specific criteria, such as the students’ parents’ income.