Some people think that the main benefit of international cooperation is in the protection of the environment, while others believe that the main interest is in the world of business.Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

While some people believe that the main objective of global cooperation is either environmental protection or business interests, I think that the main benefits of international partnerships are not limited to just these two areas. In fact, different countries cooperate with one another to gain mutual benefits, developing their own countries in terms of business, environment, politics, and many other aspects.

On the one hand, some argue that the principal advantage of international cooperation is the protection of the environment. In many countries, changes in nature have caused mass destruction to properties, loss of life, and damage to the ecosystem. For example, natural disasters, such as the annual flooding in southern Vietnam and the bush fires in Australia have killed thousands of people and animals, causing massive destruction to not both human and natural habitats. Therefore, if countries were to work together, they could share technologies, knowledge, and resources to find effective solutions to tackle these problems. Preserving the environment not only protects people and their properties but also maintain the balance of our ecosystem. Consequently, it is reasonable to view environmental protection as the primary goal of international partnerships.

However, some also believe that the most crucial aim of international cooperation lies within the business domain. It is noticeble that many companies have already established businesses around the world, not just within their home countries. Products like the iPhone or KFC chicken are sold globally, increasing business profits compared to local wholesale and retail. These are examples of the economic benefits gained when countries allow the integration of foreign businesses.

Despite these arguments, I believe international cooperation has a broader purpose. It is not restricted to either environmental protection or business advantages but extends to many aspects, including politics. Countries need to work together to maintain diplomacy and solve international problems. For instance, during the pandemic, many countries joined forces and supported one another by providing vaccines and food supplies, which in turn reduced casualties to some extent. Additionally, Additionally, Vietnam’s efforts to maintain strong ties with both the United States and Russia have enhanced its business opportunities, international support, and tourism. All of this demonstrates that partnering with other nations can generate several benefits for a country, making the foremost aim of cooperation quite complex.

In conclusion, some argue that the primary goal of global cooperation is either to protect the environment or to further business interests. However, I believe that international partnerships offer benefits beyond these two areas. In reality, countries collaborate to achieve mutual advantages, enhancing their development in various sectors such as business, environment, politics, and more.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"While some people believe" -> "While some individuals contend"
Explanation: Replacing "people believe" with "individuals contend" elevates the formality and specificity of the statement, aligning better with academic writing standards.
"the main benefits of international partnerships are not limited to just these two areas" -> "the primary advantages of international partnerships extend beyond these two domains"
Explanation: "Primary advantages" and "domains" are more precise and formal terms, enhancing the academic tone of the sentence.
"developing their own countries" -> "enhancing their national development"
Explanation: "Enhancing their national development" is a more precise and formal way to describe the improvement of a country’s overall condition.
"mass destruction to properties" -> "widespread destruction of properties"
Explanation: "Widespread destruction" is a more accurate and formal term than "mass destruction," which can be seen as colloquial.
"not both human and natural habitats" -> "both human and natural habitats"
Explanation: The original phrase is awkward and unclear. The correction clarifies that both human and natural habitats are affected.
"Preserving the environment not only protects people and their properties but also maintain the balance of our ecosystem" -> "Preserving the environment not only safeguards human lives and properties but also maintains the ecological balance"
Explanation: "Safeguards" and "maintains" are more precise and formal than "protects" and "maintain," and "ecological balance" is a more specific term than "balance of our ecosystem."
"It is noticeble" -> "It is noticeable"
Explanation: Corrects a spelling error for grammatical accuracy.
"Products like the iPhone or KFC chicken are sold globally" -> "Products such as the iPhone or KFC chicken are globally marketed"
Explanation: "Globally marketed" is a more precise term than "sold globally," which is redundant.
"increasing business profits compared to local wholesale and retail" -> "enhancing business profitability compared to local wholesale and retail"
Explanation: "Enhancing business profitability" is a more formal and precise term than "increasing business profits."
"It is not restricted to either environmental protection or business advantages but extends to many aspects" -> "It is not limited to either environmental protection or business advantages but encompasses numerous aspects"
Explanation: "Encompasses" is a more formal synonym for "extends," and "numerous" is more precise than "many."
"Additionally, Additionally," -> "Furthermore,"
Explanation: Removing the duplicate "Additionally" corrects the grammatical error and maintains the formal tone.
"All of this demonstrates that partnering with other nations can generate several benefits for a country" -> "This illustrates that collaborating with other nations can yield numerous benefits for a country"
Explanation: "Illustrates" and "yield" are more formal and precise than "demonstrates" and "generate," and "numerous" is preferred over "several" in formal writing.

These changes enhance the academic tone and precision of the essay, aligning it more closely with formal writing standards.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both sides of the argument regarding the main benefits of international cooperation. The first body paragraph discusses environmental protection as a key benefit, providing relevant examples such as natural disasters in Vietnam and Australia. The second body paragraph presents the business perspective, citing global brands like the iPhone and KFC to illustrate the economic advantages of international cooperation. The essay concludes with a personal opinion that acknowledges the complexity of international cooperation, which is a strong response to the prompt.
- How to improve: To enhance the response further, the author could provide more specific examples or data to support the claims made about environmental and business benefits. Additionally, a clearer distinction between the two views in the conclusion could strengthen the overall argument, ensuring that each perspective is given equal weight before presenting the author’s opinion.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position that international cooperation extends beyond just environmental protection and business interests. The author articulates this stance effectively in the introduction and reinforces it in the conclusion. However, there are moments where the transition between discussing the two perspectives could be smoother, particularly in the shift from environmental to business arguments.
- How to improve: To improve clarity, the author could use transitional phrases that explicitly connect the two perspectives, emphasizing how they relate to the broader view of international cooperation. This would help maintain a consistent narrative throughout the essay.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: Ideas are presented clearly, and the author provides sufficient support for each argument. The environmental section includes examples of natural disasters and their impacts, while the business section discusses the global reach of companies. The author also extends the argument by discussing the political aspect of international cooperation, which adds depth to the analysis.
- How to improve: While the essay does well in supporting its ideas, it could benefit from more detailed examples or statistics, particularly in the business section. For instance, including data on the economic impact of international trade or specific case studies of successful international partnerships would strengthen the arguments.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay remains focused on the topic throughout, discussing both views and the author’s opinion without straying into unrelated areas. Each paragraph contributes to the overall argument regarding the benefits of international cooperation, and the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the author should ensure that each example directly relates to the main argument. For instance, while discussing the pandemic response, it would be beneficial to tie this back to how such cooperation impacts both environmental and business interests, reinforcing the complexity of the issue.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the task requirements and presents a well-structured argument. With a few adjustments to enhance clarity and support, it could achieve an even higher score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 8

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay is well-organized, with a clear introduction that outlines the topic and presents the writer’s stance. Each paragraph addresses a specific viewpoint, with the first discussing environmental protection and the second focusing on business interests. The final paragraph effectively summarizes the arguments and reiterates the writer’s opinion. However, while the ideas are logically sequenced, the transition between the discussion of environmental protection and business interests could be smoother to enhance the overall flow.
- How to improve: To improve logical organization, consider using transitional phrases that explicitly connect the ideas between paragraphs. For example, after discussing environmental protection, a sentence like "In contrast to this perspective, others emphasize the significance of business interests" could serve as a clearer bridge to the next point.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs a clear paragraph structure, with each paragraph dedicated to a specific aspect of the discussion. The introduction sets the stage, the body paragraphs explore different viewpoints, and the conclusion summarizes the arguments. However, the second body paragraph could benefit from more detailed examples and a clearer topic sentence to enhance its effectiveness.
- How to improve: To strengthen paragraphing, ensure that each paragraph begins with a strong topic sentence that encapsulates the main idea. For instance, the second body paragraph could start with "Many proponents of international cooperation argue that its primary aim is to foster business growth and economic integration." Additionally, providing more specific examples or data could enhance the depth of the argument.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good use of cohesive devices, such as "on the one hand," "however," and "despite these arguments," which help to guide the reader through the different viewpoints. However, there are instances of repetition, particularly with the phrase "Additionally," which appears twice in quick succession, indicating a need for greater variety in cohesive devices.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, consider incorporating synonyms or alternative phrases. Instead of repeating "Additionally," you could use "Furthermore" or "Moreover" to introduce new information. Additionally, using more complex cohesive devices, such as "In light of this," or "As a result," can enhance the sophistication of the writing and improve the overall cohesion of the essay.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong command of coherence and cohesion, achieving a high band score. By focusing on smoother transitions, enhancing paragraph structure, and diversifying cohesive devices, the writer can further elevate the clarity and effectiveness of their arguments.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary relevant to the topic of international cooperation. Phrases such as "mutual benefits," "mass destruction," and "economic benefits" effectively convey the writer’s ideas. However, the vocabulary could be more varied; for instance, the repeated use of "business" and "cooperation" could be substituted with synonyms or related terms to enhance lexical diversity.
- How to improve: To improve, consider incorporating synonyms and more varied expressions. For example, instead of repeatedly using "business," you might use terms like "commerce," "trade," or "enterprise." Additionally, explore phrases like "collaborative efforts" or "joint initiatives" instead of "international cooperation" to avoid redundancy.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary with a reasonable degree of precision. However, there are instances of imprecise usage, such as "noticeble" which should be spelled "noticeable." Furthermore, the phrase "not both human and natural habitats" is awkward and could be more clearly articulated. The intended meaning may be lost on the reader due to these inaccuracies.
- How to improve: To enhance precision, ensure that all vocabulary is used correctly and contextually. Double-check spelling and meaning, particularly for key terms. For example, revise "not both human and natural habitats" to "both human and natural habitats." Additionally, consider using more precise verbs, such as "devastated" instead of "caused mass destruction," to convey stronger imagery.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains a few spelling errors, notably "noticeble," which detracts from the overall quality. Such mistakes can undermine the reader’s confidence in the writer’s language proficiency and attention to detail.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, implement a proofreading strategy before submission. This could involve reading the essay aloud, using spell-check tools, or asking a peer to review the work. Additionally, creating a list of commonly misspelled words and practicing them can help reinforce correct spelling in future writing tasks.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of lexical resource, but there is room for improvement in vocabulary range, precision, and spelling accuracy. By focusing on these areas, the writer can enhance their overall performance in this criterion.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures, effectively utilizing both simple and complex sentences. For instance, the writer employs conditional structures ("if countries were to work together") and relative clauses ("which in turn reduced casualties to some extent"). The use of varied sentence beginnings, such as "On the one hand" and "However," helps to clearly delineate different viewpoints. This variety contributes to the overall coherence and flow of the essay.
- How to improve: To further enhance the range of structures, the writer could incorporate more advanced grammatical forms, such as participle clauses (e.g., "Having collaborated on environmental issues, countries can…") or inversion for emphasis (e.g., "Rarely do countries cooperate solely for business"). Additionally, varying the length and complexity of sentences can create a more engaging rhythm in the writing.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains a high level of grammatical accuracy, with only minor errors present. For example, in the phrase "not both human and natural habitats," the intended meaning may be clearer if rephrased to "both human and natural habitats." Additionally, the sentence "Additionally, Additionally, Vietnam’s efforts…" contains a typographical error with the repetition of "Additionally." Punctuation is mostly accurate, although there are instances where commas could enhance clarity, such as before "which in turn reduced casualties to some extent."
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should carefully proofread the essay to catch typographical errors and ensure clarity in phrasing. Practicing common grammatical structures and their correct usage can also help, particularly in distinguishing between similar phrases that may lead to confusion. Furthermore, reviewing punctuation rules, especially regarding the use of commas in complex sentences, can enhance the overall clarity of the writing.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a strong command of grammatical range and accuracy, focusing on diversifying sentence structures and refining grammatical precision will help elevate the writing to an even higher level.

Bài sửa mẫu

On the one hand, some argue that the principal advantage of international cooperation is the protection of the environment. In many countries, changes in nature have caused mass destruction of properties, loss of life, and damage to the ecosystem. For example, natural disasters, such as the annual flooding in southern Vietnam and the bushfires in Australia, have killed thousands of people and animals, causing massive destruction to both human and natural habitats. Therefore, if countries were to work together, they could share technologies, knowledge, and resources to find effective solutions to tackle these problems. Preserving the environment not only safeguards human lives and properties but also maintains the ecological balance. Consequently, it is reasonable to view environmental protection as the primary goal of international partnerships.

However, some also believe that the most crucial aim of international cooperation lies within the business domain. It is noticeable that many companies have already established businesses around the world, not just within their home countries. Products such as the iPhone or KFC chicken are globally marketed, enhancing business profitability compared to local wholesale and retail. These are examples of the economic benefits gained when countries allow the integration of foreign businesses.

Despite these arguments, I believe international cooperation has a broader purpose. It is not restricted to either environmental protection or business advantages but extends to many aspects, including politics. Countries need to work together to maintain diplomacy and solve international problems. For instance, during the pandemic, many countries joined forces and supported one another by providing vaccines and food supplies, which in turn reduced casualties to some extent. Additionally, Vietnam’s efforts to maintain strong ties with both the United States and Russia have enhanced its business opportunities, international support, and tourism. All of this illustrates that collaborating with other nations can yield numerous benefits for a country, making the foremost aim of cooperation quite complex.