Some say that the Internet is making the world smaller by bringing people together. To what extent do to you agree that the Internet is making it easier for people to communicate with one another?

The internet connects people across the globe, turning the world into a smaller, more interconnected place. I partly agree with the stance that the internet has allowed for effortless communication among individuals.
• On the one hand, online network could compromise the quality of interaction between individuals. In fact, facilitating the uninhibited expression of viewpoints and emotions through facial gestures/non-verbal cues without being interrupted has become a typical trait/ hallmark of Traditional face-to-face communication, but this is not always possible in online settings/ may be limited in online environments. In addition, If people opt for an online communication approach, they will inevitably encounter technical difficulties including audio distortions due to unstable internet connections/unreliable internet connectivity. These disruptions would adversely hinder the delivery of information. To illustrate, individuals could send a message that comes across as harsh, but they just intend it as playful teasing. In that circumstance, Others, unable to see their facial expressions or hear their tone of voice, are bound to interpret it seriously and get upset. Nevertheless, In a face-to-face setting, their playful tone would likely be clear, and other people could clarify any potential confusion.
On the other hand, Internet has made it easier for people to communicate with others due to its Instantaneous and global reach. With email, messaging apps, and video calls, we can connect with anyone anywhere in the world in real-time with hardly any expenses, compared to the days of waiting for letters or expensive phone calls.
In conclusion, I partly contend that the internet has undeniably fostered global connections through communication ease.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"I partly agree with the stance that" -> "I partially agree with the proposition that"
Explanation: "Partially agree" is more precise and formal than "partly agree," and "proposition" is more academically appropriate than "stance" in this context, enhancing the formality of the statement.
"online network" -> "online networks"
Explanation: "Networks" is the plural form, as it refers to the various platforms and systems that comprise the internet, making the term more accurate and specific.
"could compromise the quality of interaction" -> "may compromise the quality of interaction"
Explanation: "May" is more appropriate than "could" in academic writing as it implies possibility rather than potentiality, which is more precise in this context.
"typical trait/hallmark" -> "distinctive characteristic"
Explanation: "Distinctive characteristic" is a more formal and precise term than "typical trait" or "hallmark," which are somewhat informal and vague.
"may be limited in online environments" -> "may be restricted in online environments"
Explanation: "Restricted" is more specific and formal than "limited," which is somewhat vague and less precise in this context.
"opt for an online communication approach" -> "choose an online communication method"
Explanation: "Method" is more specific and formal than "approach," which is somewhat vague and less commonly used in academic writing.
"technical difficulties including audio distortions" -> "technical issues such as audio distortions"
Explanation: "Issues" is a more formal term than "difficulties," and "such as" is more appropriate than "including" in this context, as it introduces examples rather than listing exhaustive items.
"unreliable internet connectivity" -> "unstable internet connectivity"
Explanation: "Unstable" is more precise and commonly used in technical contexts to describe internet connectivity issues than "unreliable," which can imply a broader range of problems.
"adversely hinder the delivery of information" -> "adversely affect the transmission of information"
Explanation: "Affect" is more precise and formal than "hinder" in this context, and "transmission" is more specific than "delivery" in discussing the flow of information.
"get upset" -> "become upset"
Explanation: "Become" is more formal and academically appropriate than "get" in this context, which is too informal for academic writing.
"In a face-to-face setting" -> "In face-to-face interactions"
Explanation: "Interactions" is a more formal and precise term than "setting," which is less specific and less formal.
"Internet has made it easier" -> "The internet has facilitated"
Explanation: "Facilitated" is a more formal and precise verb than "made it easier," which is somewhat colloquial and vague.
"hardly any expenses" -> "minimal expenses"
Explanation: "Minimal" is a more precise and formal term than "hardly any," which is colloquial and imprecise.
"I partly contend that" -> "I partially argue that"
Explanation: "Argue" is more appropriate in academic discourse than "contend," which can imply a more confrontational tone, and "partially" is preferred over "partly" for formal writing.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both sides of the argument—how the internet both facilitates and hinders communication. It acknowledges the global reach and ease of communication (agreeing partially), while also highlighting drawbacks such as the potential for miscommunication and technical issues.
- How to improve: To improve, ensure that each viewpoint (pros and cons) is balanced more evenly. Provide specific examples or evidence for each perspective to strengthen the argument comprehensively.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a consistent position that leans towards agreement ("partly agree") with the statement. It begins by discussing the drawbacks but concludes with the benefits of internet communication.
- How to improve: Strengthen clarity by explicitly stating the position earlier in the essay and maintaining this stance throughout. Ensure that each paragraph supports this position clearly without ambiguity.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas clearly but could benefit from further development and expansion. It briefly discusses the pros and cons of internet communication but lacks depth in analyzing how these impact communication overall.
- How to improve: Extend each idea with examples or further explanation. Develop the discussion on how internet communication changes interpersonal dynamics, using specific instances to illustrate points.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay mostly stays on topic by addressing the effects of the internet on communication. However, it occasionally drifts into discussing broader technological issues (like audio distortions and technical difficulties) that are slightly tangential.
- How to improve: To improve, maintain a sharper focus on the specific aspects of communication facilitated by the internet. Avoid delving into unrelated technological challenges unless directly relevant to the communication aspect.

In conclusion, while the essay effectively addresses the prompt and presents a coherent argument, enhancing the balance of perspectives, clarity of position, depth of analysis, and focus on the topic would elevate the overall quality and potentially increase the band score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a generally logical organization. It begins with a clear introduction that outlines the writer’s stance and introduces the main points of the essay. Each paragraph follows a structured approach, discussing different aspects of the topic – both the advantages and disadvantages of internet communication. However, there are moments where the flow could be smoother, particularly in transitions between paragraphs.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, ensure that each paragraph directly relates to the essay’s thesis and maintains a clear progression of ideas. Use transitional phrases more consistently to guide the reader through shifts in discussion, such as "On the one hand… On the other hand…" or "Nevertheless… However…"
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs effectively to separate distinct ideas and arguments. Each paragraph addresses a specific aspect of the essay prompt, such as the drawbacks and benefits of online communication. However, some paragraphs could benefit from clearer topic sentences to better introduce their respective points.
- How to improve: Strengthen paragraph structure by starting each paragraph with a clear topic sentence that previews the main idea. For instance, in the paragraph discussing the drawbacks of online communication, explicitly state the main issue at the outset, such as "One significant drawback of online communication is the loss of non-verbal cues…"
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay incorporates cohesive devices reasonably well to connect ideas and maintain coherence. For example, it uses pronouns like "On the other hand" and "Nevertheless" to signal shifts between arguments. Additionally, there is some use of repetition (e.g., "online communication") and lexical cohesion (e.g., "facilitating… interaction," "technical difficulties… disruptions") to reinforce key concepts.
- How to improve: To further enhance cohesion, consider integrating a wider variety of cohesive devices such as synonyms, parallel structures, and referencing within sentences (e.g., "These disruptions, which include audio distortions…"). Ensure that each cohesive device used serves a specific purpose in clarifying relationships between ideas and maintaining the essay’s coherence.

Overall, while the essay effectively addresses the prompt with a balanced discussion of both viewpoints, refining the logical organization, paragraph structure, and cohesive devices can elevate the coherence and cohesion of the essay to a more consistent level, potentially achieving a higher band score.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary. There are instances of effective use of vocabulary related to communication and technology ("online network," "facilitating," "uninhibited expression," "technical difficulties," "instantaneous," "global reach"). However, there is a tendency to reuse certain phrases and expressions ("facial gestures/non-verbal cues," "unreliable internet connectivity," "playful teasing"). This repetition limits the variety and richness of vocabulary throughout the essay.
- How to improve: To enhance your score in Lexical Resource, aim to incorporate more diverse synonyms and expressions. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "facial gestures/non-verbal cues," consider alternatives like "facial expressions" or "gestural communication." Be mindful of using a wider range of vocabulary to express ideas more precisely and vividly.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: There are instances of precise vocabulary use, such as "uninhibited expression," which accurately conveys the idea of free expression. However, there are also instances where vocabulary could be more precise or varied. For example, phrases like "facilitating the uninhibited expression" could be refined to avoid repetition and improve clarity. Additionally, some expressions like "audio distortions due to unstable internet connections" could benefit from more specific terms or technical vocabulary.
- How to improve: Work on using vocabulary more precisely by choosing words that exactly fit the context and convey your intended meaning clearly. Avoid using overly general phrases that might dilute your argument. For instance, instead of "audio distortions," consider "interference" or "sound disruptions." This improvement will help to sharpen your writing and enhance the clarity of your ideas.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally demonstrates adequate spelling accuracy. However, there are a few minor errors such as "Instantaneous" (should be capitalized as "instantaneous") and a missing article in "In fact, facilitating the uninhibited expression of viewpoints." These errors do not significantly impede understanding but indicate the need for closer attention to detail in spelling.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, consider proofreading your work carefully, paying particular attention to articles, capitalization, and technical terms. Additionally, practicing writing under time constraints can help you develop strategies to catch errors more effectively during timed assessments like the IELTS.

Overall, while your essay demonstrates a solid grasp of vocabulary and spelling, focusing on diversifying your vocabulary choices, using words more precisely, and refining your spelling accuracy will contribute to achieving a higher Band Score in Lexical Resource.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate variety of sentence structures. It includes complex sentences using subordinating conjunctions ("On the one hand," "Nevertheless," "In addition") and relative clauses ("who could clarify any potential confusion"). However, there is room for improvement in using more varied sentence types such as compound-complex sentences, more varied introductory phrases, and varying the use of passive and active voice constructions.
- How to improve: To enhance the variety and effectiveness of sentence structures, consider incorporating compound-complex sentences to better connect ideas and provide more nuanced arguments. Use introductory phrases and clauses more creatively to vary sentence openings and improve coherence. Additionally, explore the use of passive voice where appropriate to add variety and emphasis to key points without overusing it.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay demonstrates reasonably accurate grammar and punctuation usage. However, there are some notable errors, such as incorrect subject-verb agreement ("Internet has made it easier") and incorrect article usage ("a typical trait/ hallmark"). Punctuation is generally correct but lacks consistency in the use of commas and hyphens, with some instances of incorrect placement or missing commas where needed.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, pay closer attention to subject-verb agreement and article usage. Review the rules for using commas to ensure consistent and correct placement in complex sentences. Consider using hyphens correctly in compound adjectives ("face-to-face communication"). Proofreading for these specific errors before submission can significantly enhance the clarity and professionalism of the writing.

Overall, while the essay effectively communicates its ideas and maintains coherence, focusing on these areas of improvement can help elevate the grammatical range and accuracy to a higher band score level.

Bài sửa mẫu

The internet connects people worldwide, making the world a more interconnected place. I partially agree with the proposition that the internet has facilitated effortless communication among individuals.

On one hand, online networks may compromise the quality of interaction between people. The distinctive characteristic of face-to-face communication, where uninhibited expression through facial gestures and non-verbal cues is typical, may be restricted in online environments. Moreover, if individuals choose an online communication method, they may encounter technical issues such as audio distortions due to unstable internet connectivity. These disruptions could adversely affect the transmission of information. For instance, a message intended as playful teasing might come across as harsh without the accompanying facial expressions or tone of voice, potentially causing recipients to become upset. In face-to-face interactions, such misunderstandings are less likely because the playful tone would be evident, and any confusion could be quickly resolved.

On the other hand, the internet has facilitated easier communication among people globally. Instantaneous and inexpensive compared to traditional methods, online communication tools like email, messaging apps, and video calls allow us to connect with anyone, anywhere in the world, at minimal expenses. This contrasts with earlier times when people had to wait for letters or incur high costs for long-distance phone calls.

In conclusion, I partially argue that the internet has undeniably made global connections easier through enhanced communication methods.