Some universities now offer their courses on the Internet so that people can study online. Is this a positive or negative development?
It is true that online courses are being a common feature of university education. Although there are some drawbacks of online earning, I would agree that the benefits outweigh the negatives.
The main drawback of this problem is that there less direct the interaction. Students might not have the opportunities to engage face-to-face with their teachers. As a result, they may not understand the lessons. Besides that, when students study online, they cannot connect with their friends in real life, so it would be difficult for them to have the motivation in study, which the traditional course groups bring.
Despite the negative impacts above, there are a lot of positive reasons why some universities offer their courses on the Internet. Firstly, online – based learning allows the students to study in everywhere they want. For example, if people study in their offline courses, they have to go to school and find a true class to study. Sometimes it wastes their time. By constant, in online courses, they can study at home, which is very convenient for them to transfer. Secondly, Online learning enable students to find the essays of books easier and cheaper. Nowadays, the Internet is more developed, therefore it is very convenient to students. They can use some applications such as Chat GPT learning and finding knowledge. Furthermore, they might not pay in some books that on Internet, thereby they couldn't waste their money.
In conclusion, although there are some negative impacts that online courses have such as students not have the opportunities to engage face-to-face with their teachers, I believe that there are far more benefits.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
Errors and Improvements:
"online courses are being a common feature" -> "online courses have become a common feature"
Explanation: Replacing "are being" with "have become" provides a more precise and formal expression of the prevalence of online courses in university education.
"there less direct the interaction" -> "there is less direct interaction"
Explanation: Correcting the sentence structure by replacing "there less direct the interaction" with "there is less direct interaction" improves grammatical accuracy and formality.
"motivation in study" -> "motivation to study"
Explanation: Changing "motivation in study" to "motivation to study" results in a more idiomatic and grammatically correct phrase, aligning with academic style.
"which the traditional course groups bring" -> "which traditional classroom settings provide"
Explanation: Substituting "which the traditional course groups bring" with "which traditional classroom settings provide" enhances clarity and formality, avoiding potential confusion.
"Online – based learning" -> "Online-based learning"
Explanation: Removing the space and hyphen in "Online – based learning" to "Online-based learning" adheres to a more standardized and formal style for compound adjectives.
"they can study at home, which is very convenient for them to transfer" -> "they can study at home, providing them with convenience and flexibility"
Explanation: Replacing "which is very convenient for them to transfer" with "providing them with convenience and flexibility" improves the sentence’s structure and academic tone.
"Online learning enable students to find the essays of books easier" -> "Online learning facilitates easier access to a wealth of academic resources, including essays and books"
Explanation: Adjusting "Online learning enable students to find the essays of books easier" to "Online learning facilitates easier access to a wealth of academic resources, including essays and books" clarifies the sentence and uses more formal language.
"the Internet is more developed" -> "the Internet has become more advanced"
Explanation: Changing "the Internet is more developed" to "the Internet has become more advanced" conveys a more accurate representation of technological progress and aligns with academic language.
"they can use some applications such as Chat GPT learning and finding knowledge" -> "they can utilize applications like ChatGPT for learning and knowledge acquisition"
Explanation: Substituting "they can use some applications such as Chat GPT learning and finding knowledge" with "they can utilize applications like ChatGPT for learning and knowledge acquisition" enhances formality and clarity while avoiding redundancy.
"they might not pay in some books that on Internet" -> "they might not have to pay for certain books available on the Internet"
Explanation: Adjusting "they might not pay in some books that on Internet" to "they might not have to pay for certain books available on the Internet" improves grammar and ensures a more accurate expression of the intended meaning.
"therefore they couldn’t waste their money" -> "thus, they can avoid unnecessary expenditure"
Explanation: Changing "therefore they couldn’t waste their money" to "thus, they can avoid unnecessary expenditure" provides a more formal and precise expression of the idea.
"although there are some negative impacts that online courses have such as students not have the opportunities" -> "although online courses have some drawbacks, such as students lacking opportunities"
Explanation: Rearranging "although there are some negative impacts that online courses have such as students not have the opportunities" to "although online courses have some drawbacks, such as students lacking opportunities" improves sentence structure and clarity while maintaining formality.
Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8
Band Score for Task Response: 8
Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both aspects of the prompt, discussing the drawbacks and benefits of online courses. The introduction and conclusion reflect an understanding of the positive and negative aspects of the topic.
- How to improve: To enhance this aspect, consider providing a more explicit structure in the introduction, indicating that both sides of the argument will be explored. Additionally, make sure to link each body paragraph clearly to the positive or negative aspects of online courses.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position that the benefits of online courses outweigh the drawbacks. This stance is consistently presented throughout the essay.
- How to improve: To further strengthen the clarity of the position, consider explicitly stating the main argument in the introduction and revisiting it in the conclusion. This will reinforce the essay’s overall coherence.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas but lacks depth in the development and support of some points. For instance, the negative impact of less direct interaction needs further elaboration and examples.
- How to improve: To enhance the presentation, development, and support of ideas, provide more detailed examples and explanations. Elaborate on how the lack of face-to-face interaction impacts learning and motivation, offering concrete instances to support these claims.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay mostly stays on topic, but there are instances where the language is unclear or the points are not well-connected. For instance, the transition between discussing drawbacks and benefits is somewhat abrupt.
- How to improve: To improve coherence, focus on smooth transitions between paragraphs and ideas. Clearly connect each point to the overall argument and ensure that the language is precise and unambiguous.
In conclusion, the essay effectively addresses the prompt, maintains a clear position, and presents ideas on both sides. However, to achieve a higher band score, focus on providing a more explicit structure, offering in-depth development of ideas, and improving overall coherence through smoother transitions.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7
Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a generally logical organization. It starts with an introduction, followed by paragraphs discussing drawbacks and benefits, and concludes with a summary. However, the transition between the drawbacks and benefits could be smoother. The first paragraph focuses on drawbacks, while the second paragraph abruptly shifts to the benefits without a clear transition.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using transitional phrases between paragraphs to guide the reader smoothly from one point to the next. For example, using phrases like "On the other hand" or "Contrastingly" can help signal a shift in focus.
- Detailed explanation: The essay is divided into paragraphs, but there is inconsistency in their length and depth. The second paragraph is longer than the others, and the separation between drawbacks and benefits could be more pronounced for clarity.
- How to improve: Ensure each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect or idea. Consider breaking the longer paragraphs into smaller ones for better readability. Additionally, use topic sentences to clearly introduce the main idea of each paragraph.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay utilizes some cohesive devices, such as transition words ("Although," "Despite," "Firstly," "Furthermore"). However, there’s room for improvement in the variety and sophistication of these devices. Some sentences lack clear connections, affecting the overall coherence.
- How to improve: Increase the use of cohesive devices to create smoother connections between sentences and ideas. Introduce a wider range of linking words and phrases, such as "Moreover," "In addition," or "Nevertheless," to enhance coherence. Additionally, pay attention to pronoun reference to avoid ambiguity.
Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid level of coherence and cohesion, with a logical structure and adequate use of cohesive devices. To improve, focus on refining the transition between ideas, maintaining consistent paragraph structure, and diversifying the use of cohesive devices for a more polished and connected essay.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 5
Band Score for Lexical Resource: 5
Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary. While it includes some diverse terms such as "drawbacks," "opportunities," and "developed," there is room for improvement. For instance, there is repetition in the usage of phrases like "study online" and "online courses." A more varied selection of words could enhance the overall richness of expression.
- How to improve: To widen the vocabulary range, consider incorporating synonyms or alternative expressions. Instead of repeatedly using "online courses," you might use terms like "virtual education," "web-based learning," or "digital instruction." This will contribute to a more nuanced and sophisticated vocabulary.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The precision of vocabulary is adequate, but there are instances where more precise word choices could enhance clarity. For example, the phrase "there less direct the interaction" is grammatically incorrect and could benefit from a more precise formulation for better understanding.
- How to improve: Aim for clarity by using precise vocabulary. In this case, you might replace "there less direct the interaction" with "there is limited direct interaction." Precision improves comprehension, making your points more convincing.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: Spelling accuracy is generally acceptable. However, there are some notable errors, such as "online earning" instead of "online learning" and "constant" instead of "contrast." These instances, while not overly frequent, impact the overall professionalism of the writing.
- How to improve: Pay close attention to spelling, particularly common terms related to the topic. Proofreading can be beneficial to catch such errors. Additionally, consider using writing tools or spell-check features to enhance accuracy.
In summary, while the essay demonstrates an adequate vocabulary and generally accurate spelling, there is room for improvement in terms of variety, precision, and eliminating occasional spelling errors. Focusing on these aspects will contribute to a more sophisticated and polished expression of ideas.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7
Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a somewhat limited range of sentence structures. Simple sentence structures predominate, and there is a lack of complex or compound sentences. For instance, there is a consistent use of basic sentence structures like "It is true that," and "Despite the negative impacts above." More varied structures, such as complex sentences or conditional constructions, could enhance the overall quality of the writing.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, consider incorporating complex sentences, compound sentences, or conditional constructions. For example, instead of relying on simple sentences, try combining ideas into compound or complex sentences. This can add sophistication to your writing and demonstrate a higher command of grammar and syntax.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay displays some grammatical inaccuracies and punctuation errors. One notable instance is the phrase "there less direct the interaction," where the lack of an article before "less" and the awkward wording affect clarity. Additionally, punctuation errors, such as missing commas or incorrect usage, are present. For example, "By constant, in online courses," should be corrected to "By contrast, in online courses."
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, carefully proofread your writing, paying attention to articles, verb agreement, and sentence structure. Additionally, work on punctuation skills, ensuring proper usage of commas, periods, and conjunctions. Reviewing grammar rules and practicing with varied sentence structures can contribute to improved accuracy.
Overall, while the essay demonstrates competence in grammar, expanding the range of sentence structures and addressing specific grammatical and punctuation issues will contribute to a more polished and sophisticated piece of writing.
Bài sửa mẫu
It is undeniable that online courses have become a common feature in university education. While there are certain drawbacks associated with online learning, I firmly believe that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
A significant drawback is the reduced direct interaction. Students may lack opportunities for face-to-face engagement with their teachers, potentially hindering their understanding of the lessons. Additionally, the absence of real-life connections with friends during online study may lead to a decline in motivation, a factor that traditional classroom settings effectively provide.
Notwithstanding the aforementioned drawbacks, there are numerous positive aspects supporting the offering of courses online by some universities. Firstly, online-based learning provides students with the flexibility to study anywhere they choose. Unlike traditional offline courses that necessitate physical presence at a school, online courses offer the convenience of studying at home. This flexibility is a crucial advantage, saving students time that would otherwise be spent commuting.
Secondly, online learning facilitates easier access to a wealth of academic resources, including essays and books. The advancement of the Internet has made it convenient for students to use applications like ChatGPT for learning and knowledge acquisition. Moreover, students may find certain books available on the Internet without the need for monetary expenditure, helping them avoid unnecessary costs associated with traditional textbooks.
In conclusion, despite the drawbacks such as the limited face-to-face interaction with teachers, the benefits of online courses are more pronounced. The convenience and flexibility they offer, coupled with easy access to academic resources, make online learning a positive development in university education.