Sometimes tourists may damage tourist sites. Explain what some of the negative effects may be. Suggest some solutions to this problem.
Tourism has been ever-growing in many countries in the world with many remarkable developments. However, this drags out many direct impacts on the destinations. This essay will go into detail on several negative effects and mention some solutions for it.
One of the most common problems is the bad effect on the environment that many tourists have during their time traveling. For example, sightseers seem not to pay attention enough to their behaviors, they may throw out rubbish such as drinking bottles, cans, tins, etc everywhere in the traveling places. The larger the amount of garbage they throw, the more damaged the environment becomes. Moreover, such inappropriate actions lead to the growth in marine creatures’ deaths, reduce the eco-friendly system, and loss of water purity. Besides, many people aren’t aware of protecting the heritage of their countries. A testament to that is, that many of them are freely touched, sitting on, and physically connected to the objects that need reserving censure. Many marvelous heritages have been demolished dramatically when being displayed to the less-mindful people. Another worth noticing point is the traditional culture’s destruction. We haven’t taken care of the cultural beauty. The heritage possessors have just noticed upgrading tourist sites to follow the tendency to cater to tourists’ interest, so the original culture can be ignored. Take craft products as an example, artisans currently try to make products trendy but lose the traditional styles. As a consequence, the cultural special beauty of each country can be lost.
Fortunately, we have found some efficient methods to solve these problems. The first measure would be for the government and local authorities to seriously introduce more regulations for protecting the landmarks. As a result, many travelers will be likely to be eco-experienced. What is more, it’s vital the keepers strictly fine the people who break the rules on purpose so that nobody can take risk-taking to affect the heritage anymore. Finally, the consciousness of giving a hand to preserve the destinations in every person is the most crucial.
In conclusion, negative behaviors of tourists can destroy the tourist sites and the environment which many other people are trying to keep. We need to take urgent actions together to solve the problems consistently.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
"ever-growing" -> "steadily expanding"
Explanation: "Ever-growing" is somewhat informal for academic writing. "Steadily expanding" maintains the sense of continuous growth while adopting a more formal tone.
"drags out" -> "results in"
Explanation: "Drags out" is colloquial; "results in" is a more formal and appropriate phrase in academic writing, conveying the cause-and-effect relationship without informal connotations.
"bad effect" -> "adverse impact"
Explanation: "Bad effect" is imprecise for academic writing. "Adverse impact" is a more precise and formal term, conveying a negative consequence more appropriately.
"throw out rubbish" -> "dispose of waste"
Explanation: "Throw out rubbish" is informal; "dispose of waste" is a more formal and suitable phrase in academic writing.
"tins, etc everywhere" -> "tins, and other items, scattered throughout"
Explanation: Replacing "etc everywhere" with "and other items, scattered throughout" provides a more specific and descriptive depiction in a formal manner.
"ecofriendly system" -> "ecosystem"
Explanation: "Ecofriendly system" is not the precise term; "ecosystem" accurately refers to the environmental system affected by human actions.
"loss of water purity" -> "degradation of water quality"
Explanation: "Loss of water purity" lacks precision. "Degradation of water quality" is a more precise term for describing a decline in the purity of water.
"A testament to that is" -> "Evident from this is"
Explanation: "A testament to that is" is slightly informal. "Evident from this is" maintains formality while expressing the same idea more academically.
"demolished dramatically" -> "significantly damaged"
Explanation: "Demolished dramatically" seems overly dramatic. "Significantly damaged" maintains the gravity of the situation in a more formal manner.
"less-mindful people" -> "less conscientious individuals"
Explanation: "Less-mindful people" could be more precisely expressed as "less conscientious individuals" in an academically formal tone.
"haven’t taken care of" -> "have neglected"
Explanation: "Haven’t taken care of" is informal; "have neglected" offers a more formal and precise expression in academic writing.
"possessors" -> "custodians"
Explanation: "Possessors" is a bit informal; "custodians" conveys a more formal and responsible role in preserving cultural heritage.
"try to make products trendy" -> "attempt to modernize products"
Explanation: "Try to make products trendy" is informal; "attempt to modernize products" is a more formal and fitting phrase in academic writing.
"the cultural special beauty" -> "the unique cultural beauty"
Explanation: "Cultural special beauty" lacks precision; "unique cultural beauty" is a more precise and formal expression in academic writing.
"We need to take urgent actions together" -> "Collective immediate action is imperative"
Explanation: The phrase "We need to take urgent actions together" can be expressed more formally as "Collective immediate action is imperative" in academic writing.
Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 6
Band Score: 6.0
Quoted text: "This essay will go into detail on several negative effects and mention some solutions for it."
- Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The introduction lacks clarity in presenting the writer’s position on the topic. It is essential to clearly state whether the writer agrees or disagrees with the idea that tourists may damage tourist sites. This helps in setting a clear direction for the essay.
- Improved example: "In this essay, I will discuss the negative effects of tourist behavior on destinations and propose solutions to mitigate these issues. While tourism brings remarkable developments, it also poses challenges that need careful consideration."
Quoted text: "One of the most common problems is the bad effect on the environment that many tourists have during their time traveling. For example, sightseers seem not to pay attention enough to their behaviors, they may throw out rubbish such as drinking bottles, cans, tins, etc everywhere in the traveling places."
- Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The paragraph addresses the negative impact on the environment, but it lacks depth in the development of ideas. Instead of a general statement, provide specific examples and reasons to support the claim. For instance, mention a famous tourist site affected by littering and explain the consequences in more detail.
- Improved example: "Tourists often exhibit careless behaviors, such as littering at famous sites like [specific site]. This not only tarnishes the natural beauty of the location but also poses a direct threat to local ecosystems. For instance, marine life can be adversely affected as debris finds its way into water bodies."
Quoted text: "Besides, many people aren’t aware of protecting the heritage of their countries. A testament to that is, that many of them are freely touched, sitting on, and physically connected to the objects that need reserving censure."
- Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The argument concerning the protection of cultural heritage is valid, but it lacks specific examples and explanations. Elaborate on this point by citing instances where tourists have caused damage to heritage sites through physical interactions. This will strengthen your argument and make it more persuasive.
- Improved example: "A glaring example of this lack of awareness is the casual handling of delicate cultural artifacts. Tourists often touch and even sit on objects that require careful preservation. This disregard for the fragility of cultural heritage has resulted in the irreversible damage of several invaluable artifacts."
Quoted text: "Moreover, such inappropriate actions lead to the growth in marine creatures’ deaths, reduce the eco-friendly system, and loss of water purity."
- Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: While the essay touches upon environmental consequences, it would benefit from a more detailed explanation of how tourist actions specifically lead to the mentioned outcomes. Provide a clear link between tourist behavior, such as littering, and the negative impact on marine life, ecosystems, and water purity.
- Improved example: "The seemingly harmless act of littering by tourists has far-reaching consequences. Discarded items, such as plastic bottles, can lead to the death of marine creatures, disrupt the local eco-friendly systems, and contribute to the contamination and loss of purity in nearby water sources."
Quoted text: "Fortunately, we have found some efficient methods to solve these problems."
- Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: While the solutions are briefly mentioned, they lack specificity and depth. Instead of a general statement, provide detailed solutions and elaborate on how they can be implemented. For example, specify what regulations could be introduced and how the government can enforce fines for rule violations.
- Improved example: "Implementing strict regulations, such as prohibiting littering and physical contact with heritage sites, is a crucial step. The government and local authorities must not only introduce these regulations but also enforce them rigorously. Penalties, such as fines for intentional rule-breaking, should be imposed to deter individuals from engaging in detrimental behaviors."
Overall, the essay addresses the task but could significantly improve in the depth of idea development and specificity of examples, especially in supporting negative effects and proposing solutions.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6
Band Score: 6.0
The essay demonstrates a generally coherent structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. The writer organizes information logically, presenting negative effects of tourism and suggesting solutions. The use of cohesive devices is evident, though there are instances of faulty or mechanical cohesion. For example, in the second paragraph, there is a lack of smooth transition between the negative effects on the environment and the disregard for cultural heritage. Additionally, there are issues with sentence cohesion and referencing, impacting the flow of ideas.
Paragraphing is employed, but not always logically. There is room for improvement in the organization of ideas within and between paragraphs. The essay contains some repetitive elements, such as the mention of negative effects on the environment in both the introduction and body paragraphs. Overall, the essay demonstrates an effort to address the prompt coherently, but there is room for improvement in the effective use of cohesive devices and paragraphing.
How to improve:
- Ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs and ideas to enhance overall coherence.
- Use a wider range of cohesive devices appropriately and avoid over-repetition of certain terms.
- Work on more effective paragraphing to enhance the logical organization of ideas.
- Strengthen referencing to create clearer connections between sentences and ideas.
- Review and edit for coherence, particularly focusing on eliminating repetitive elements and improving the overall flow of the essay.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6
Band Score: 6.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, covering various aspects of the negative effects of tourism on tourist sites. There is an attempt to use less common vocabulary, such as "eco-friendly system" and "cultural special beauty," but with some inaccuracy. Some errors in word choice and collocation are present, such as "drags out" instead of "results in" and "the keepers strictly fine" instead of "strictly fine the offenders." Additionally, there are occasional errors in spelling and word formation, like "reserving censure" instead of "preserving culture."
How to improve: To enhance the lexical resource, the writer should focus on using more precise and accurate vocabulary. Avoiding word choices that may lead to confusion, as seen in "drags out," will contribute to a higher score. Attention to spelling and word formation is crucial; proofreading can help eliminate errors like "reserving censure." Using a broader range of vocabulary with greater accuracy will elevate the essay’s overall lexical quality.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7
Band Score: 7.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a variety of complex structures, and the majority of sentences are error-free. There is good control of grammar and punctuation, but there are a few errors present. The essay effectively addresses the negative effects of tourism on the environment, heritage sites, and traditional culture. The ideas are well-developed, and the essay maintains a coherent structure throughout.
How to improve: To achieve a higher score, focus on minimizing the occurrence of errors in grammar and punctuation. Additionally, consider providing more specific examples and elaborating further on the solutions proposed to enhance the depth of the essay.
Bài sửa mẫu
Tourism has witnessed significant growth across many countries, bringing about notable developments. However, this surge has given rise to various direct impacts on the destinations. This essay will delve into the details of several negative effects and propose some solutions.
One of the most prevalent problems is the adverse impact on the environment caused by many tourists during their travels. For instance, sightseers often seem inattentive to their actions, indiscriminately discarding items like drinking bottles, cans, and tins in the vicinity of tourist spots. The greater the volume of litter they generate, the more harm inflicted upon the environment. Additionally, such improper actions contribute to the increased mortality of marine creatures, the degradation of eco-friendly systems, and the compromised purity of water. Furthermore, many individuals lack awareness regarding the preservation of their countries’ heritage. A testament to this is the unrestricted touching, sitting on, and physical interaction with objects requiring careful preservation. Numerous magnificent heritages have suffered dramatic damage due to the inattentiveness of people. Another noteworthy point is the destruction of traditional culture. The cultural beauty has been neglected, as heritage custodians focus solely on upgrading tourist sites to align with current trends, potentially overlooking the original culture. For instance, artisans may prioritize making craft products trendy at the expense of traditional styles, leading to the loss of each country’s cultural distinctiveness.
Fortunately, we have identified some effective methods to address these issues. The primary measure involves the government and local authorities implementing stricter regulations for the protection of landmarks. This would encourage travelers to adopt eco-friendly practices. Furthermore, it is crucial for custodians to impose strict penalties on individuals deliberately violating rules to deter any risky behavior that could harm heritage sites. Lastly, fostering a collective consciousness of preserving destinations in every individual is of paramount importance.
In conclusion, the negative behaviors of tourists pose a threat to both tourist sites and the environment that many strive to preserve. Urgent and collective actions are needed to consistently address these problems.