students today can easily access information online. so libraries are no longer necessary. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, knowledge can be found and learnt with the help of internet in these days and age, so the neccessity of libraries is dropping. In my opinion, I totally disagree with this idea.

The most striking reason of the necessity of libraries is their reliable sources of information. This is because online information can be wrong, in constrast, libraries only provide quality books and documents which are censored and checked carefully.Therefore, using the library can help students and workers avoid the risk of access the misinformation. Accordingly, there will be no obstacles to people’s learning process if they search ans study in a library. For instance, thousands of vietnamese undergraduates admit that the time spent for rechecking information is eliminated when they go to a library to find resources.

Another justification for the need for libraries is their serene and silent learning space. The basic logic here is that due to the noise limitting regulations, libraries boast a quiet and focusing atmosphere which is conducive to people’s learning and reading. As a result, libraries can help students and employees boost their concentration and productivity in studying or working, which can eventually lead to their better achievements or higher grades and performance. A prime example is that research carried out in Oxford university indicates that about 48% of undergraduates like to study and work in library.

In conclusion, I, personally, disagree with the above-mentioned view. This is due to their trust-worthy repertoire of information and highly-focused environment with the help of in-library rules.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"Nowadays" -> "Currently"
Explanation: "Currently" is a more formal and precise temporal indicator suitable for academic writing, replacing the colloquial "Nowadays."
"in these days and age" -> "in this era"
Explanation: "In this era" is a more formal and concise way to refer to the current time period, avoiding the colloquial and somewhat archaic "in these days and age."
"neccessity" -> "necessity"
Explanation: Corrects a spelling error, ensuring the word is spelled correctly and maintaining professionalism in academic writing.
"I totally disagree" -> "I strongly disagree"
Explanation: "Strongly disagree" is a more formal expression than "totally disagree," which is somewhat informal and emphatic for academic writing.
"The most striking reason" -> "The most compelling reason"
Explanation: "Compelling" is a more academically appropriate term than "striking," which can imply a more emotional or sensational tone.
"in constrast" -> "in contrast"
Explanation: Corrects a spelling error, ensuring the word is spelled correctly and maintaining professionalism in academic writing.
"censored and checked carefully" -> "carefully curated and vetted"
Explanation: "Carefully curated and vetted" is a more precise and formal way to describe the process of selecting and verifying information, enhancing the academic tone.
"access the misinformation" -> "access to misinformation"
Explanation: "Access to misinformation" is grammatically correct and more precise, clarifying the intended meaning.
"no obstacles to people’s learning process" -> "no hindrances to the learning process"
Explanation: "No hindrances to the learning process" is a more formal and precise way to express the absence of obstacles, improving the academic tone.
"search ans study" -> "search and study"
Explanation: Corrects a typographical error, ensuring proper spacing and clarity in the text.
"vietnamese undergraduates" -> "Vietnamese undergraduates"
Explanation: Capitalizes "Vietnamese" to adhere to proper noun capitalization rules, enhancing the formality and accuracy of the text.
"eliminated when they go to a library" -> "eliminated when they access a library"
Explanation: "Access a library" is a more precise and formal way to describe the action of visiting a library, replacing the less formal "go to a library."
"noise limitting regulations" -> "noise-limiting regulations"
Explanation: Corrects a typographical error and adjusts the spacing for clarity and readability.
"boost their concentration and productivity" -> "enhance their concentration and productivity"
Explanation: "Enhance" is a more formal synonym for "boost," aligning better with academic language.
"A prime example is that" -> "A notable example is that"
Explanation: "Notable" is a more formal adjective than "prime," which can sound colloquial in this context.
"research carried out in Oxford university" -> "research conducted at Oxford University"
Explanation: "Conducted at" is more precise and formal than "carried out in," and "University" should be capitalized as it refers to a specific institution.
"I, personally, disagree" -> "I disagree"
Explanation: Removing "personally" simplifies the statement and aligns better with the formal tone of academic writing, as "personally" is redundant in this context.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses the prompt by clearly stating a disagreement with the notion that libraries are no longer necessary. The writer presents two main arguments: the reliability of library sources and the conducive study environment they provide. Both points are relevant to the question and are supported with examples. However, the essay could benefit from a more explicit acknowledgment of the opposing viewpoint, which would enhance the depth of the argument.
- How to improve: To comprehensively address all elements of the question, consider briefly acknowledging the advantages of online information access before refuting them. This would demonstrate a balanced understanding of the topic and strengthen the overall argument.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position throughout, consistently expressing disagreement with the idea that libraries are becoming obsolete. The use of phrases like "I totally disagree" and "I, personally, disagree" reinforces this stance. However, the transition between points could be smoother to further clarify the position.
- How to improve: To enhance clarity and consistency, use transitional phrases that explicitly connect the ideas back to the main argument. For example, after presenting each point, reiterate how it supports the overall disagreement with the prompt.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents two main ideas: the reliability of library information and the quiet study environment. Each idea is supported with examples, such as the reference to Vietnamese undergraduates and the Oxford University study. However, the examples could be more detailed and directly linked to the argument to strengthen the support.
- How to improve: To effectively present and extend ideas, provide more context for the examples. For instance, explain how the reliability of library sources directly impacts students’ academic performance or how the quiet environment leads to specific outcomes in learning.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay remains focused on the topic, discussing the necessity of libraries in the context of online information access. There are no significant deviations from the topic, and the arguments are relevant. However, some sentences contain minor grammatical errors that could distract from the main points.
- How to improve: To maintain focus and relevance, proofread the essay for grammatical accuracy and clarity. For example, correct phrases like "the neccessity of libraries is dropping" to "the necessity of libraries is decreasing" to enhance readability and professionalism. Additionally, ensure that all vocabulary is used correctly to avoid confusion.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the topic and effectively argues against the prompt, but there are areas for improvement in depth, clarity, and grammatical precision.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear argument against the idea that libraries are no longer necessary, with two main reasons outlined in separate paragraphs. The introduction effectively sets the stage for the argument, and each body paragraph develops a distinct point. However, the transition between ideas could be smoother; for instance, the connection between the reliability of information and the conducive learning environment could be made more explicit. The conclusion succinctly summarizes the main points but lacks a strong reiteration of the thesis.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using transitional phrases that explicitly connect ideas between paragraphs. For example, after discussing the reliability of library sources, you could introduce the next paragraph with a phrase like, "In addition to providing reliable information, libraries also offer an environment that enhances learning." This would help guide the reader through your argument more effectively.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs appropriately, with each paragraph focusing on a single idea. The first paragraph discusses the reliability of library sources, while the second addresses the learning environment. However, the paragraphs could benefit from clearer topic sentences that encapsulate the main idea of each paragraph. The conclusion, while present, could be more robust in summarizing the argument.
- How to improve: Strengthen the topic sentences of each body paragraph to clearly state the main point. For example, instead of starting with "The most striking reason of the necessity of libraries is their reliable sources of information," consider rephrasing it to "One of the primary reasons libraries remain essential is their provision of reliable sources of information." This will help the reader immediately understand the focus of each paragraph.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "this is because," "accordingly," and "as a result," which help to connect ideas. However, the range of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and there are instances of awkward phrasing (e.g., "in constrast," "the basic logic here is that"). Additionally, there are grammatical errors that disrupt the flow, such as "ans study" instead of "and study."
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases, such as "furthermore," "moreover," or "on the other hand" to contrast ideas. Additionally, ensure that all phrases are grammatically correct and clear. Proofreading for typos and grammatical errors will also enhance the overall coherence of the essay.

By addressing these areas for improvement, the essay can achieve a higher band score in Coherence and Cohesion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms like "necessity," "reliable sources," and "serene and silent learning space." However, the vocabulary is somewhat limited and repetitive, particularly in phrases like "the necessity of libraries" and "the need for libraries." This repetition indicates a lack of variety in word choice.
- How to improve: To enhance lexical range, the writer could incorporate synonyms and varied expressions. For example, instead of repeatedly using "necessity," alternatives like "essential," "indispensable," or "vital" could be employed. Additionally, using phrases such as "information repositories" or "knowledge hubs" could diversify the vocabulary related to libraries.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: While the essay includes some precise vocabulary, there are instances of imprecise usage. For example, "in these days and age" should be "in this day and age," and "censored and checked carefully" could be more accurately expressed as "curated and vetted." The phrase "access the misinformation" should be "accessing misinformation" for better grammatical accuracy.
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on refining word choices and ensuring grammatical correctness. Utilizing resources like thesauruses or vocabulary-building apps can help identify more accurate terms. Furthermore, proofreading for grammatical structures can enhance clarity.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "neccessity" (should be "necessity"), "constrast" (should be "contrast"), "ans" (should be "and"), and "vietnamese" (should be "Vietnamese"). These errors detract from the overall professionalism of the writing.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should consider implementing a proofreading strategy, such as reading the essay aloud or using spell-check tools. Additionally, maintaining a personal list of commonly misspelled words and practicing them can be beneficial. Regular reading can also help reinforce correct spelling through exposure to well-written texts.

By addressing these areas—expanding vocabulary range, improving precision in word choice, and enhancing spelling accuracy—the writer can work towards achieving a higher band score in the Lexical Resource criterion for future IELTS essays.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable variety of sentence structures. For example, the writer employs complex sentences such as "This is because online information can be wrong, in contrast, libraries only provide quality books and documents which are censored and checked carefully." However, there are instances of repetitive structures, particularly in the use of "libraries" as the subject in multiple sentences, which can make the writing feel somewhat monotonous.
- How to improve: To enhance the variety of structures, the writer could incorporate more compound and complex sentences with varied subjects. For instance, instead of repeatedly starting sentences with "libraries," the writer could use phrases like "These institutions" or "Such places" to refer back to libraries. Additionally, using introductory phrases or clauses can help diversify sentence openings, e.g., "While online resources are abundant, libraries offer…"
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that detract from its overall clarity. For example, "in these days and age" should be "in this day and age," and "neccessity" is a spelling error that should be corrected to "necessity." Additionally, there are punctuation issues, such as the lack of a space after the period in "checked carefully.Therefore," which affects readability. The phrase "access the misinformation" should be "accessing misinformation" for grammatical accuracy.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on proofreading for common errors such as subject-verb agreement, spelling, and punctuation. Utilizing grammar-checking tools or seeking feedback from peers can also be beneficial. Furthermore, practicing writing with a focus on specific grammatical structures can help solidify understanding and application. For example, the writer might benefit from exercises that focus on the correct use of articles, prepositions, and conjunctions.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents coherent arguments, attention to grammatical accuracy and the variety of sentence structures will enhance the quality of the writing and potentially lead to a higher band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

**Improved Essay:**

In this era, knowledge can be easily accessed and learned through the internet, leading some to argue that the necessity of libraries is diminishing. However, I strongly disagree with this perspective.

The most compelling reason for the continued necessity of libraries is their reliable sources of information. Online information can often be inaccurate; in contrast, libraries provide carefully curated and vetted books and documents. Therefore, utilizing a library can help students and workers avoid the risk of accessing misinformation. Consequently, there are no hindrances to people’s learning process when they search and study in a library. For instance, thousands of Vietnamese undergraduates have noted that the time spent rechecking information is eliminated when they visit a library to find resources.

Another justification for the need for libraries is their serene and silent learning environment. The basic logic here is that, due to noise-limiting regulations, libraries offer a quiet and focused atmosphere that is conducive to learning and reading. As a result, libraries can help students and employees enhance their concentration and productivity, ultimately leading to better achievements, higher grades, and improved performance. A notable example is that research conducted at Oxford University indicates that approximately 48% of undergraduates prefer to study and work in a library.

In conclusion, I disagree with the notion that libraries are no longer necessary. Their trustworthy repertoire of information and highly focused environment, supported by in-library rules, continue to play a vital role in the educational process.