summarize the infomation by selecting and reporting the main futures and make comparisons where relevant

summarize the infomation by selecting and reporting the main futures and make comparisons where relevant

The line chart illustrates the number of people are working in manufacturing, service and agriculture in the USA from 1975 to 2025.
Overall, the percentage of individuals worked in agriculture sector decreased, whereas the opposite was true for people working in the service sector.
In 1975, the figure for people worked in agriculture sector stood at 80%. This figure remained stable until 1977 when it decreased liitte more than 40% in 1980. After then, the change was more stable, but it was still declining until 2025 around 10%. In the case of manufacturing, 10% employess work in the service sector. There was an increased to 40% after 5 years in 1980 and this percentage continued growing and predicted to 90% employess in 2025.
On the other hand, the figure of peope who worked in manufacturing sector was lower than others. This number also increased by 30% after 5 years from 10% in 1975 to 40% in 1980. And then declined to over 10% the following 45 years. In addition, both sector had the same quantities in 1980, around 40%.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

  1. "The line chart illustrates the number of people are working" -> "The line chart illustrates the number of people working"
    Explanation: Removing the contraction "are" corrects the grammatical error and aligns with formal academic writing standards by using the present participle form "working" directly after the noun "people."

  2. "in the USA from 1975 to 2025" -> "in the United States from 1975 to 2025"
    Explanation: "United States" is the formal name for the country, enhancing the academic tone of the essay.

  3. "the percentage of individuals worked in agriculture sector" -> "the percentage of individuals working in the agricultural sector"
    Explanation: Corrects the verb tense to "working" for consistency and uses "agricultural" to maintain formal terminology.

  4. "the opposite was true for people working in the service sector" -> "the trend was reversed for those in the service sector"
    Explanation: "The trend was reversed" is a more precise and formal way to describe the change in the data, avoiding the vague "the opposite was true."

  5. "the figure for people worked in agriculture sector" -> "the number of individuals working in the agricultural sector"
    Explanation: Replaces "figure" with "number" for clarity and "worked" with "working" for grammatical correctness.

  6. "liitte more than 40%" -> "little more than 40%"
    Explanation: Corrects the spelling error "liitte" to "little."

  7. "After then, the change was more stable, but it was still declining" -> "Subsequently, the trend remained stable, albeit still declining"
    Explanation: "Subsequently" is more formal than "After then," and "albeit" is a more precise adverb than "but" in this context.

  8. "10% employess work in the service sector" -> "10% of employees worked in the service sector"
    Explanation: Corrects the typo "employess" to "employees" and changes "work" to "worked" to match the past tense of the sentence.

  9. "There was an increased to 40%" -> "There was an increase to 40%"
    Explanation: Corrects the grammatical error "increased" to "increase" for subject-verb agreement.

  10. "this percentage continued growing" -> "this percentage continued to grow"
    Explanation: Adds "to" for grammatical correctness and to maintain the continuous aspect of the verb.

  11. "predicted to 90% employess in 2025" -> "predicted to reach 90% of employees in 2025"
    Explanation: Corrects "employess" to "employees" and changes "predicted" to "reach" for a more precise verb choice.

  12. "the figure of peope who worked in manufacturing sector" -> "the number of people working in the manufacturing sector"
    Explanation: Corrects the spelling error "peope" to "people" and changes "figure" to "number" for clarity and formality.

  13. "This number also increased by 30% after 5 years from 10% in 1975 to 40% in 1980" -> "This number also increased by 30% over the five-year period from 10% in 1975 to 40% in 1980"
    Explanation: Adds "over the five-year period" for clarity and precision.

  14. "And then declined to over 10% the following 45 years" -> "And then declined to over 10% over the subsequent 45 years"
    Explanation: Adds "over the subsequent" for clarity and formality.

  15. "both sector had the same quantities" -> "both sectors had the same quantities"
    Explanation: Corrects the plural form "sector" to "sectors" to match the plural context.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 4

Band Score: 4.0

Explanation: The essay attempts to address the task, but it does not cover all key features/bullet points. The essay does not provide a clear overview of the main trends, differences or stages. The essay also confuses key features/bullet points with detail. For example, the essay states that "the figure for people worked in agriculture sector stood at 80%." This is a detail, not a key feature. The essay also states that "the figure of peope who worked in manufacturing sector was lower than others." This is a comparison, but it is not a key feature.

How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing a clear overview of the main trends, differences or stages. The essay could also be improved by focusing on key features/bullet points rather than details. For example, the essay could state that "the percentage of people working in agriculture decreased from 1975 to 2025." This is a key feature, and it is more concise than the original statement. The essay could also be improved by providing more accurate information. For example, the essay states that "both sector had the same quantities in 1980, around 40%." This is not accurate. The essay should state that "the percentage of people working in manufacturing and services was around 40% in 1980." This is more accurate and concise.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0
Explanation: The essay presents information with some organization, but it lacks overall progression and clarity. While it attempts to summarize the trends in the data, the logical flow of ideas is disrupted by inaccuracies and unclear references. The use of cohesive devices is inconsistent, leading to confusion in some areas. Paragraphing is attempted but is not always logical or effective, which detracts from the overall coherence of the essay.
How to improve: To enhance coherence and cohesion, the writer should focus on clearly organizing the information by using logical paragraphing that groups similar ideas together. Improving the use of cohesive devices, such as referencing and substitution, would help to create smoother transitions between sentences and ideas. Additionally, ensuring that all figures and percentages are presented accurately and clearly will aid in the reader’s understanding of the trends being discussed.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary that is minimally adequate for the task. While it attempts to convey the main features of the line chart, there are noticeable errors in word choice, spelling, and grammatical structure that may cause some difficulty for the reader. For example, phrases like "the percentage of individuals worked in agriculture sector" and "10% employess work in the service sector" reflect awkward constructions and inaccuracies. Additionally, the use of basic vocabulary and repetition detracts from the overall effectiveness of the communication.
How to improve: To enhance the lexical resource score, the writer should aim to incorporate a wider range of vocabulary, particularly less common lexical items, while ensuring accuracy in word choice and collocation. Practicing the use of synonyms and varying sentence structures can help improve fluency and flexibility. Furthermore, careful proofreading to correct spelling and grammatical errors would also contribute to clearer communication.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of grammatical structures, primarily relying on simple sentence forms. While there are attempts at complex sentences, they are often inaccurate and lead to confusion. Frequent grammatical errors, such as incorrect verb forms and punctuation issues, hinder clarity and can cause difficulty for the reader. For example, phrases like "the figure for people worked in agriculture sector" and "there was an increased to 40%" exhibit grammatical inaccuracies that detract from the overall coherence of the writing.
How to improve: To enhance the grammatical range and accuracy, the writer should focus on the following strategies:

  1. Expand Sentence Variety: Incorporate a wider range of complex sentence structures, ensuring that subordinate clauses are used correctly.
  2. Proofreading for Errors: Review the essay for common grammatical mistakes, such as subject-verb agreement and incorrect verb forms, to minimize errors.
  3. Practice with Punctuation: Improve punctuation usage to enhance clarity, particularly in complex sentences where commas and conjunctions are necessary.
  4. Seek Feedback: Engage with peers or instructors for feedback on grammatical accuracy and structure, allowing for targeted improvements.

Bài sửa mẫu

The line chart illustrates the number of people working in manufacturing, service, and agriculture in the USA from 1975 to 2025. Overall, the percentage of individuals working in the agriculture sector decreased, whereas the opposite was true for those working in the service sector.

In 1975, the figure for people working in the agriculture sector stood at 80%. This figure remained stable until 1977 when it decreased to a little more than 40% in 1980. After that, the change was more stable, but it continued to decline until reaching around 10% in 2025. In the case of the service sector, 10% of employees worked in this area in 1975. There was an increase to 40% after five years in 1980, and this percentage continued to grow, predicted to reach 90% of employees in 2025.

On the other hand, the figure of people who worked in the manufacturing sector was lower than in the other sectors. This number also increased by 30% after five years, rising from 10% in 1975 to 40% in 1980. However, it then declined to just over 10% over the following 45 years. In addition, both sectors had the same quantity in 1980, at around 40%.

Bài viết liên quan

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more accessible. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more…

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