Task 1: The chart below shows the percentage of a drug company's total sales, by region, from 2002 to 2006.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The garph demonstrates sale figures of a pharmateutical company in three specific continents namely Asia, Europe, America, from 2002 to 2006.
Overall, the datasets relect sificant differences in the sale pattern of all markets. While Asian market experienced a upward trend throughout the period, the turnovers in other markets fluctuated during the same time.
In 2002, 41% of the company sale came from the America market, compare with only 25% turnover that company earned in Asian countries.
From 2003-2006, sale figures in America followed a unstable trend. It decreased to 27% in 2007, followed by a slight increase by 3% at 30% by 2009. By contrast, sale earned from Asian countries rose gradually, hitting its peak with an impressive growth of 15%, at 40% utimately.
Meanwhile, althought company’s sale in European market underwent fluctuating pattern, it varied in a range of only 4%, from 34% to 38% in the entire period shown.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

"garph" -> "graph"
Explanation: "Graph" is the correct spelling of the word referring to a visual representation of data, whereas "garph" is a misspelling.
"sale figures" -> "sales figures"
Explanation: "Sales figures" is the correct term to describe the numerical data representing the amount of sales made by a company. "Sale figures" is grammatically incorrect.
"pharmateutical" -> "pharmaceutical"
Explanation: "Pharmaceutical" is the correct spelling of the word pertaining to the industry involving the production and sale of drugs and medications.
"relect" -> "reflect"
Explanation: "Reflect" is the correct spelling of the word meaning to show or indicate, whereas "relect" is a misspelling.
"sificant" -> "significant"
Explanation: "Significant" is the correct spelling of the word meaning important or noteworthy, while "sificant" is a misspelling.
"upward trend" -> "upward trajectory"
Explanation: "Trajectory" adds a more precise and sophisticated nuance to describe the direction of the trend over time.
"turnovers" -> "sales turnover"
Explanation: "Sales turnover" is a more precise term to describe the total value of goods sold by a company within a specific period.
"compare with" -> "compared to"
Explanation: "Compared to" is the correct preposition to use when drawing a comparison between two items or entities.
"unstable trend" -> "volatile trend"
Explanation: "Volatile" is a more advanced term that conveys the idea of unpredictability or instability in a trend.
"utimately" -> "ultimately"
Explanation: "Ultimately" is the correct spelling of the word, meaning finally or in the end. "utimately" is a misspelling.
"althought" -> "although"
Explanation: "Although" is the correct spelling of the word used to introduce a contrast or concession, whereas "althought" is a misspelling.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 6

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Band Score: 6.0
Explanation:
The essay adequately addresses the task by summarizing the main features of the sales data for the pharmaceutical company across Asia, Europe, and America from 2002 to 2006. It provides an overview of the trends in each region and makes relevant comparisons. Key features such as the initial disparity in sales between Asia and America, the fluctuating trends in America, and the relatively stable sales in Europe are highlighted.
How to improve:
To improve, the essay could provide more detailed analysis and extend the discussion of key features. Additionally, ensuring accurate data representation and clearer presentation of information would enhance the overall clarity and coherence of the essay.
]

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay presents some organization by dividing the information into paragraphs and attempting to summarize the main features of the data. There is an overall attempt to compare the sales figures across regions. However, the progression of ideas lacks clarity, and there are instances of inadequate use of cohesive devices. For example, the transitions between sentences and paragraphs are not always smooth, leading to a lack of coherence. Additionally, there are errors in grammar and punctuation that further affect the clarity of the message.

How to improve: To improve coherence and cohesion, focus on structuring the essay more logically. Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that ideas flow smoothly from one paragraph to the next. Use a variety of cohesive devices such as conjunctions, transition words, and pronouns to connect ideas and improve the overall coherence of the essay. Additionally, pay attention to grammar and punctuation to avoid distracting errors that hinder comprehension.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary, with some errors in word choice, spelling, and word formation. It includes basic vocabulary related to sales figures and market trends but lacks sophistication and variety. There are noticeable errors in spelling and word formation, such as "garph" instead of "graph," "sificant" instead of "significant," "relect" instead of "reflect," "utimately" instead of "ultimately," and inconsistent use of tenses ("from 2003-2006" should be "from 2003 to 2006"). Additionally, some sentences lack clarity and precision, impacting the overall effectiveness of conveying the information.

How to improve: To enhance the lexical resource, the essay should incorporate a wider range of vocabulary relevant to the topic, such as synonyms for "sale," "market," "trend," etc. Focus on using precise and accurate language to convey ideas effectively. Proofreading for spelling and grammatical errors is essential to improve clarity and coherence. Additionally, paying attention to sentence structure and cohesion can further enhance the overall quality of expression.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay attempts to use a variety of sentence structures, including simple and complex forms. However, there are several grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that affect clarity and coherence. For instance, "the datasets relect sificant differences" should be "the datasets reflect significant differences." Additionally, there are issues with verb tenses and subject-verb agreement, such as "In 2002, 41% of the company sale came from the America market." It should be "sales came from the American market."

How to improve: To enhance grammatical range and accuracy, focus on using more varied sentence structures and ensuring correct grammar and punctuation. Proofread the essay carefully to identify and correct errors in verb tense, subject-verb agreement, and sentence construction. Additionally, aim for clearer and more concise expression of ideas to improve overall coherence and readability.

Bài sửa mẫu

The provided report describes the sales percentages of a pharmaceutical company across three continents (Asia, Europe, and America) from 2002 to 2006.

Overall, the data illustrates significant variations in sales patterns across all markets. The Asian market showed a consistent upward trend throughout the period, contrasting with fluctuations in turnover seen in other markets.

In 2002, the company derived 41% of its sales from the American market, while only 25% of its turnover came from Asian countries.

From 2003 to 2006, sales figures in America followed an unstable trend. It decreased to 27% in 2007, followed by a slight increase of 3% to reach 30% by 2009. In contrast, sales from Asian countries exhibited a gradual rise, reaching a peak with an impressive growth of 15% to ultimately stand at 40%.

Meanwhile, sales in the European market fluctuated within a narrow range of only 4%, varying from 34% to 38% throughout the period under consideration.

Task 1: The chart below shows the percentage of a drug company’s total sales, by region, from 2002 to 2006.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.