Task 1: The diagrams show the structure of the solar panel and its use. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Task 1: The diagrams show the structure of the solar panel and its use.
Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and
make comparisons where relevant.

The graphics illustrate the configuration and the operation of a solar panel.
In general, the device consists of several components attached to a square container. In addition to this, its function is a sequential process and depends on the heating quality of sunlight to warm up air and water.
With regard to the structure, the square box is equipped with an inlet and an outlet on either side, which provide passage for air and water to enter and exit the device. Also, the upper part of the box is covered by a see-through surface. Moreover, while the solar panel designed to heat air has its box empty, the other one incorporates pipes which are connected to the inlet and the outlet. These pipes offer a direct pathway for water to run through.
In terms of how the gadget works, it operates on the principle that the transparent top magnifies the sunlight, increasing the temperature inside the box and therefore heating the resources within it. Concerning the solar panel used to produce warm air; as air penetrates into the inlet, it is then warmed up according to this principle. Subsequently, the warmed air is discharged by the outlet. The heating process of water is quite similar, starting with the intake of cold water through the inlet and ending with the discharge of hot water via the outlet. The only difference is that water flows along the pipes.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"The graphics illustrate" -> "The diagrams depict"
Explanation: "Diagrams" is a more precise term than "graphics" in this context, as it specifically refers to illustrations that explain a process or system, which is more fitting for an academic description of a technical device.
"configuration and the operation" -> "configuration and its operation"
Explanation: Adding "its" clarifies the possessive relationship between "configuration" and "operation," enhancing the sentence structure and readability.
"sequential process" -> "sequential process"
Explanation: "sequential" is correct as it is used to describe the order in which events occur, which is appropriate for describing the functioning of a device.
"heating quality of sunlight" -> "intensity of sunlight"
Explanation: "Intensity" is a more precise term than "heating quality" when referring to the strength of sunlight, which is a measurable and technical aspect of solar energy.
"warm up air and water" -> "heat air and water"
Explanation: "Heat" is more specific and technically accurate than "warm up" in this context, as it directly describes the process of increasing temperature.
"the square box" -> "the square container"
Explanation: "Container" is a more formal and precise term than "box" for describing the device’s structure.
"see-through surface" -> "transparent surface"
Explanation: "Transparent" is a more precise term than "see-through," which is somewhat colloquial and vague.
"the solar panel designed to heat air" -> "the solar panel designed for heating air"
Explanation: "For heating" is more formal and precise than "to heat," aligning better with academic style.
"the other one incorporates pipes" -> "the other incorporates pipes"
Explanation: Removing "the" before "other" corrects the grammatical error and maintains the formal tone.
"which are connected to the inlet and the outlet" -> "connected to the inlet and outlet"
Explanation: Removing "which" simplifies and clarifies the sentence, improving the flow and precision.
"run through" -> "flow through"
Explanation: "Flow" is the correct term for the movement of liquids through pipes, whereas "run" is less specific and can be misleading.
"operate on the principle that" -> "function according to the principle that"
Explanation: "Function according to" is a more precise and formal way to describe the operation of a device based on a principle.
"the transparent top magnifies" -> "the transparent surface magnifies"
Explanation: "Surface" is more specific than "top," which is vague and less precise in this context.
"the resources within it" -> "the air and water within it"
Explanation: Specifying "air and water" clarifies what is being heated, enhancing the accuracy of the description.
"the warmed air is discharged" -> "the warmed air is released"
Explanation: "Released" is a more formal term than "discharged" in this context, fitting the academic style better.
"the heating process of water" -> "the heating process for water"
Explanation: "For water" corrects the grammatical structure and clarifies that the process is intended for heating water.

These changes refine the vocabulary and enhance the formality, precision, and clarity of the text, aligning it more closely with academic standards.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6

Explanation: The essay addresses the requirements of the task by providing an overview of the solar panel’s structure and function. It presents information appropriately selected, highlighting key features such as the transparent top, inlet, outlet, and pipes. However, the essay lacks a clear comparison between the two types of solar panels. While it mentions the difference in the presence of pipes, it does not fully explore the implications of this difference for the heating process.

How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing a more detailed comparison of the two types of solar panels. For example, the writer could discuss how the presence of pipes in the water-heating solar panel allows for more efficient heat transfer. Additionally, the essay could benefit from a more concise and focused writing style. The writer could eliminate unnecessary words and phrases to make the essay more clear and easy to understand.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0
Explanation: The essay logically organizes information and ideas, demonstrating a clear progression throughout the response. Each paragraph presents a central topic, with the first paragraph introducing the structure and the second detailing the operation of the solar panel. A range of cohesive devices is used appropriately, such as "In addition to this," "With regard to," and "In terms of," although there are moments where the cohesion feels slightly mechanical. Overall, the essay effectively conveys the main features of the diagrams, but there are minor issues with the clarity of referencing and transitions that prevent it from reaching a higher band.
How to improve: To enhance the coherence and cohesion of the essay, the writer could work on varying the use of cohesive devices to avoid mechanical repetition. Additionally, ensuring that references to components and processes are consistently clear would improve the overall flow. More sophisticated paragraphing, perhaps by introducing subtopics within paragraphs, could also help to elevate the score.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary relevant to the task, with some attempts to use less common terms. However, there are inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as "the heating quality of sunlight" which could be more precisely stated as "the intensity of sunlight." Additionally, there are some errors in spelling and word formation, such as "see-through surface" which could be more effectively described as "transparent cover." While these errors do not significantly impede communication, they do detract from the overall lexical resource quality.
How to improve: To enhance the lexical resource score, the writer should focus on expanding their vocabulary range by incorporating more sophisticated and precise terms relevant to the topic. Additionally, practicing the correct usage of collocations and ensuring accuracy in spelling and word formation will help to minimize errors. Reading more academic texts on similar subjects can also provide exposure to a wider range of vocabulary and improve overall fluency.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, which is characteristic of a Band 6. While it successfully communicates the main features of the diagrams, there are some grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that occasionally hinder clarity. For example, phrases like "the other one incorporates pipes which are connected to the inlet and the outlet" could be more clearly articulated. Additionally, there are instances of punctuation errors, such as missing commas, which affect the overall fluency of the writing. However, the errors do not significantly impede communication, which is a key aspect of this band score.
How to improve: To enhance the grammatical range and accuracy, the writer should focus on the following areas:

Variety in Sentence Structure: Incorporate a wider range of complex structures and ensure that they are used accurately. This could involve using more subordinate clauses or varying sentence beginnings.
Error Reduction: Proofread the essay to identify and correct grammatical and punctuation errors. Paying attention to common mistakes can help improve overall accuracy.
Clarity and Cohesion: Aim for clearer connections between ideas and smoother transitions. This could involve using linking words and phrases more effectively to guide the reader through the explanation.
By addressing these areas, the essay could potentially reach a higher band score in the future.

Bài sửa mẫu

The graphics illustrate the configuration and operation of a solar panel. In general, the device consists of several components attached to a square container. Additionally, its function is a sequential process that depends on the heating quality of sunlight to warm air and water.

With regard to the structure, the square box is equipped with an inlet and an outlet on either side, which provide passage for air and water to enter and exit the device. The upper part of the box is covered by a transparent surface. Moreover, while the solar panel designed to heat air has an empty box, the other one incorporates pipes that are connected to the inlet and outlet. These pipes offer a direct pathway for water to flow through.

In terms of how the device works, it operates on the principle that the transparent top magnifies sunlight, increasing the temperature inside the box and thereby heating the resources within it. Concerning the solar panel used to produce warm air, as air enters through the inlet, it is warmed according to this principle. Subsequently, the heated air is discharged through the outlet. The heating process of water is quite similar, starting with the intake of cold water through the inlet and ending with the discharge of hot water via the outlet. The only difference is that water flows through the pipes.