Task 2: Should parents give advice to help their children decide what friends they make?

The question of whether parents should help their children choose their friends is a complex one. Some people believe that parental advice is important for guiding children towards good friendships, while others argue that children should make their own decisions to develop independence. This essay will examine both sides and argue that a balanced approach is best.

On one side, parents can offer valuable insights when it comes to choosing friends. They might notice things about a child’s potential friends that the child might overlook, such as negative behaviors or harmful influences. For instance, if a child’s friend is consistently causing trouble at school, a parent’s advice could help the child avoid bad influences and focus on positive relationships. Parents can also provide guidance on handling peer pressure and making good choices in social situations.

On the other hand, letting children choose their own friends can be crucial for their development. Friendships teach kids how to manage relationships, solve problems, and understand others. If children always rely on their parents for advice, they might miss out on these important learning experiences. Making their own decisions helps children build confidence and learn to handle the ups and downs of social interactions.

In summary, while parents’ advice can be helpful in guiding children towards positive friendships, it is also important for children to have the freedom to make their own choices. A balanced approach where parents offer support but allow their children to navigate social relationships independently seems to be the most effective way to help children grow.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"The question of whether parents should help their children choose their friends" -> "The debate surrounding parental involvement in their children’s friend selection"
Explanation: The phrase "The question of whether" is somewhat informal and vague. "The debate surrounding" is more precise and formal, fitting the academic style better.
"Some people believe" -> "Some argue"
Explanation: "Some people believe" is somewhat informal and vague. "Some argue" is more specific and academically appropriate, indicating a position in a debate.
"guiding children towards good friendships" -> "facilitating the development of positive friendships"
Explanation: "Guiding children towards good friendships" is somewhat simplistic and informal. "Facilitating the development of positive friendships" is more precise and formal, emphasizing the process and outcome.
"a balanced approach is best" -> "a balanced approach is optimal"
Explanation: "Best" is somewhat informal and subjective. "Optimal" is more objective and formal, suitable for academic writing.
"notice things about a child’s potential friends" -> "identify potential issues with a child’s potential friends"
Explanation: "Notice things" is vague and informal. "Identify potential issues" is more specific and formal, clearly indicating the nature of the observation.
"consistently causing trouble at school" -> "persistently exhibiting problematic behavior at school"
Explanation: "Causing trouble" is informal and imprecise. "Exhibiting problematic behavior" is more specific and formal, suitable for an academic context.
"bad influences" -> "negative influences"
Explanation: "Bad" is too informal and vague for academic writing. "Negative" is more precise and formal.
"handle the ups and downs of social interactions" -> "cope with the complexities of social interactions"
Explanation: "Handle the ups and downs" is idiomatic and informal. "Cope with the complexities" is more formal and precise, fitting the academic style.
"build confidence and learn to handle" -> "develop confidence and learn to navigate"
Explanation: "Build" and "handle" are somewhat informal and vague. "Develop" and "navigate" are more precise and formal, enhancing the academic tone.
"the most effective way to help children grow" -> "the most effective strategy for promoting children’s growth"
Explanation: "The most effective way to help children grow" is informal and slightly vague. "The most effective strategy for promoting children’s growth" is more formal and specific, aligning with academic standards.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses the prompt by presenting both sides of the argument regarding whether parents should advise their children on friendships. It discusses the benefits of parental guidance, such as helping children avoid negative influences, and the importance of allowing children to make their own choices for personal development. The inclusion of examples, like the scenario of a troublesome friend, strengthens the response by illustrating the potential impact of parental advice.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the essay could delve deeper into specific scenarios or studies that support the claims made. For instance, providing statistical data or expert opinions on the outcomes of parental involvement versus independence in friendships could offer a more comprehensive view. Additionally, explicitly addressing any counterarguments could further enrich the discussion.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position that a balanced approach is the most effective way to help children with friendships. This stance is consistently reflected throughout the essay, particularly in the conclusion, which reiterates the importance of both parental guidance and independence. The structure of the essay supports this clarity, with distinct paragraphs dedicated to each side of the argument.
- How to improve: While the position is clear, the essay could benefit from a more explicit statement of the author’s viewpoint in the introduction. A stronger thesis statement that outlines the balanced approach could help guide the reader more effectively. Additionally, reinforcing the main argument with transitional phrases that link back to the central thesis throughout the essay would enhance coherence.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents and supports ideas well, particularly in discussing the roles of parents and children in friendship formation. The use of examples, such as parental insights into negative behaviors, effectively illustrates the points made. However, the essay could extend its ideas further by exploring the implications of these friendships on children’s overall development, such as emotional intelligence and social skills.
- How to improve: To strengthen the support for ideas, the essay could include more varied examples and perhaps a counterpoint that acknowledges the potential downsides of parental involvement. This could involve discussing situations where parental advice might lead to overprotection or hinder a child’s ability to make independent choices.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay remains focused on the topic of parental advice in friendship choices throughout the response. Each paragraph contributes to the central theme, and there are no noticeable deviations from the topic. The discussion is relevant and consistently tied back to the prompt, which is a significant strength of the essay.
- How to improve: While the essay stays on topic, ensuring that every example directly ties back to the main argument can enhance clarity. For instance, when discussing the importance of independence, it could be beneficial to explicitly connect this back to how it complements parental guidance, reinforcing the balanced approach.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the task and presents a well-structured argument. With some enhancements in depth, clarity, and support, it could achieve an even higher score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure, beginning with an introduction that outlines the topic and the writer’s stance. Each paragraph addresses a distinct aspect of the argument: the first discusses the benefits of parental advice, while the second emphasizes the importance of children making their own choices. This logical progression allows the reader to follow the argument easily. However, the transition between the two sides could be more explicit to enhance clarity. For instance, a sentence summarizing the first point before introducing the counterargument would strengthen the logical flow.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using transitional phrases that explicitly connect ideas between paragraphs. For example, after discussing parental advice, you could add a sentence like, "However, it is equally important to recognize the value of children making their own choices." This would create a smoother transition and reinforce the essay’s balanced perspective.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, which is crucial for coherence. Each paragraph has a clear focus, with the first addressing parental influence and the second focusing on children’s independence. However, the conclusion could be more developed to reinforce the main argument and summarize key points effectively.
- How to improve: To improve paragraph effectiveness, consider expanding the conclusion to not only restate the thesis but also briefly summarize the main arguments presented in the body paragraphs. This will reinforce the essay’s overall message and provide a more satisfying closure for the reader.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs a variety of cohesive devices, such as "On one side," "On the other hand," and "In summary," which help to guide the reader through the argument. These devices contribute to the overall coherence of the essay. However, the use of cohesive devices could be more varied to avoid repetition and enhance sophistication.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, consider incorporating a wider range of linking words and phrases. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "On one side" and "On the other hand," you could use alternatives like "Conversely" or "In contrast" to introduce opposing viewpoints. Additionally, using phrases like "Furthermore" or "Moreover" can help to connect related ideas within paragraphs, enhancing the overall flow of the essay.

By addressing these areas for improvement, the essay can achieve a higher level of coherence and cohesion, potentially raising the band score in this criterion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary. Words such as "insights," "negative behaviors," "peer pressure," and "manage relationships" indicate an attempt to use varied language. However, the vocabulary is somewhat basic and lacks sophistication. For instance, phrases like "good friendships" and "bad influences" are quite common and could be replaced with more nuanced expressions to enhance the lexical variety.
- How to improve: To improve, the writer should incorporate more advanced vocabulary and synonyms to express ideas. For example, instead of "good friendships," they could use "wholesome relationships" or "constructive companionships." Additionally, using phrases like "detrimental influences" instead of "bad influences" would elevate the language.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary accurately, but there are instances where the precision could be improved. For example, the term "trouble" in "causing trouble at school" is vague and could be interpreted in various ways. More specific language, such as "disruptive behavior" or "academic misconduct," would provide clarity.
- How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should focus on selecting words that convey their intended meaning more clearly. This can be achieved by considering the context and choosing terms that are specific and descriptive. For instance, instead of "making good choices," the writer could say "exercising sound judgment in social contexts."
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay displays a good level of spelling accuracy, with no noticeable errors in the text. This indicates a solid grasp of spelling conventions, which is essential for effective communication.
- How to improve: To maintain and further enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should continue to proofread their work carefully. They might also benefit from reading more widely to familiarize themselves with the correct spelling of less common words. Engaging in spelling exercises or using online tools for spell-checking can also be beneficial.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a competent use of vocabulary, there is room for improvement in terms of range and precision. By incorporating more advanced vocabulary and ensuring that word choices are specific and descriptive, the writer can enhance their lexical resource and potentially achieve a higher band score.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures. For instance, the use of complex sentences such as "Some people believe that parental advice is important for guiding children towards good friendships, while others argue that children should make their own decisions to develop independence" showcases the ability to link ideas effectively. Additionally, the essay employs a mix of simple and compound sentences, which helps maintain clarity and flow. However, the range of structures could be further enhanced by incorporating more varied introductory phrases and conditional clauses.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, consider using more complex and varied introductory phrases (e.g., "In light of recent studies," or "Considering the implications of parental involvement"). Additionally, incorporating conditional sentences (e.g., "If parents provide guidance, children may develop better social skills") can add depth to the arguments presented. Practicing the use of different sentence beginnings and experimenting with inversion or more sophisticated conjunctions can also enhance the overall variety.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally displays a strong command of grammar and punctuation, with only minor errors. For example, the phrase "such as negative behaviors or harmful influences" is grammatically correct and effectively punctuated. However, there are instances where punctuation could be improved for clarity, such as in the sentence, "A balanced approach where parents offer support but allow their children to navigate social relationships independently seems to be the most effective way to help children grow." A comma after "support" would clarify the sentence structure.
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, it is essential to proofread the essay for minor punctuation errors. Specifically, pay attention to the use of commas, especially in complex sentences where clauses are joined. Additionally, reviewing common grammatical structures and practicing with exercises focused on punctuation can help solidify understanding. Engaging with grammar resources or seeking feedback from peers can also provide insights into areas needing improvement.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid grasp of grammatical range and accuracy, focusing on diversifying sentence structures and refining punctuation will help elevate the writing to a higher band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

The debate surrounding parental involvement in their children’s friend selection is a complex one. Some people believe that parental advice is essential for guiding children towards positive friendships, while others argue that children should make their own decisions to foster independence. This essay will examine both sides and argue that a balanced approach is optimal.

On one side, parents can offer valuable insights when it comes to choosing friends. They might identify potential issues with a child’s potential friends that the child might overlook, such as negative influences or persistently exhibiting problematic behavior at school. For instance, if a child’s friend is consistently causing trouble at school, a parent’s advice could help the child avoid bad influences and focus on facilitating the development of positive friendships. Parents can also provide guidance on coping with peer pressure and making good choices in social situations.

On the other hand, allowing children to choose their own friends can be crucial for their development. Friendships teach kids how to manage relationships, solve problems, and understand others. If children always rely on their parents for advice, they might miss out on these important learning experiences. Making their own decisions helps children develop confidence and learn to navigate the complexities of social interactions.