Task 2: Some people think the newly built houses should be the same as the old houses in local areas. Others argue that local authorities should allow people to build houses in their own styles. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Currently, there are many ongoing controversies about whether new houses should resemble older buildings in the area very closely. In this essay, I will discuss both viewpoints and argue that constructing buildings in a specific type in local regions can pose negative outcomes to various aspects.
Proponents of the statement contend that encouraging people to erect their home which is the same as surrounding buildings can be beneficial in many ways. To begin with, local folks can seize the opportunity to develop the local economy. For instance, authorities in Hoi An tend to motivate people to build their own buildings which are like surrounding vintage houses, replicating the area’s appearance in the past to bring a sense of nostalgia which can attract overseas travellers. Thus, this could not only bring economic benefits to the development of a specific place but also preserse valuable traditions and cultures which serve as a time machine to help tourists get historical insights and dive deeper into a nation’s values further. Another explanation is to enhance a sense of community. In fact, individuals tend to feel more comfortable when having chit-chat or socialize with those who are the same social status around them, facilitating connectivity among residents. In contrast, if people construct their houses in their own designs, this can evoke feelings of inferiority in more deprived residents, worsening differences among local people.
On the other hand, I propose that local folks are at liberty to design their houses according to their preferences. First of all, individuals can mitigate financial burdens. One excellent example is that while replicating past buildings in ancient towns requires much effort and money for exorbitant materials such as rare wood and furnishing the houses with special structures, persons who are not economically viable can confront serious pressure and stress to deal with a large amount of money when finishing their home, thus posing a heavy load on their mental well-being and decreasing the quality of life. Furthermore, the uniformity of houses can bring a feeling of boredom. In fact, while residents tend to set up their houses to create an ideal personal environment where they can relax and find peace in their soul with their loved habits such as barbeque, sharing a common design including limited space can causes difficulties to do their favourite ones when they are stressed after stressful hours, causing a sense of discomfort and dissatisfaction.
In conclusion, while I do not refute the benefits of forcing people to build houses the similar as surrounding constructions, I contend strongly that people should be allowed to design their favoured homes to ensure residential satisfaction as well as possible.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"Currently, there are many ongoing controversies" -> "Currently, there are ongoing controversies"
Explanation: Removing "many" simplifies the phrase and maintains the formal tone, as "many" is somewhat redundant in this context.
"should resemble older buildings in the area very closely" -> "should closely resemble older buildings in the area"
Explanation: Removing "very" avoids redundancy and enhances the formal tone by using a more concise expression.
"Proponents of the statement contend" -> "Advocates of this view argue"
Explanation: "Advocates" is more precise and formal than "proponents," and "this view" is clearer than "the statement," which is vague.
"encouraging people to erect their home which is the same as surrounding buildings" -> "encouraging individuals to construct homes that resemble surrounding buildings"
Explanation: "Construct" is more formal than "erect," and "homes that resemble" is more precise than "the same as."
"local folks" -> "local residents"
Explanation: "Residents" is more formal and appropriate for academic writing than "folks."
"preserse" -> "preserve"
Explanation: Corrects a spelling error.
"a sense of community" -> "community cohesion"
Explanation: "Community cohesion" is a more specific and academically appropriate term than "a sense of community."
"having chit-chat or socialize" -> "engaging in casual conversations or socializing"
Explanation: "Engaging in casual conversations or socializing" is more formal and precise than "having chit-chat or socialize."
"feelings of inferiority" -> "feelings of inadequacy"
Explanation: "Inadequacy" is a more precise term in this context, fitting the academic style better than "inferiority."
"at liberty to design their houses" -> "free to design their homes"
Explanation: "Free to" is a more formal expression than "at liberty to," and "homes" is a more common term in formal writing than "houses."
"mitigate financial burdens" -> "reduce financial burdens"
Explanation: "Reduce" is a more direct and formal term than "mitigate" in this context.
"exorbitant materials" -> "expensive materials"
Explanation: "Expensive" is more precise and less dramatic than "exorbitant," which can imply extreme or unreasonable costs.
"persons who are not economically viable" -> "individuals with limited financial resources"
Explanation: "Individuals with limited financial resources" is a more formal and precise way to describe those who are not economically viable.
"confront serious pressure and stress" -> "face significant financial pressure and stress"
Explanation: "Face significant financial pressure and stress" is more specific and formal, clarifying the type of pressure.
"decreasing the quality of life" -> "adversely impacting their quality of life"
Explanation: "Adversely impacting" is a more formal and precise way to describe the negative effect on quality of life.
"causes difficulties to do their favourite ones" -> "makes it difficult for them to engage in their preferred activities"
Explanation: "Makes it difficult for them to engage in their preferred activities" is more formal and clearer than "causes difficulties to do their favourite ones."
"favourited homes" -> "preferred homes"
Explanation: "Preferred" is the correct term, not "favourited," which is a nonstandard usage.

These changes enhance the formal tone, precision, and clarity of the essay, aligning it more closely with academic writing standards.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both sides of the argument regarding whether new houses should resemble older buildings or if individuals should have the freedom to design their own homes. The introduction clearly sets up the discussion, and both viewpoints are presented with relevant examples. For instance, the mention of Hoi An illustrates the benefits of maintaining architectural uniformity for economic and cultural reasons. However, while both perspectives are discussed, the argument in favor of individual design could benefit from more examples to strengthen the point.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer could include additional examples or case studies that illustrate the negative impacts of uniformity in housing, such as specific instances where local economies suffered due to strict building regulations. This would provide a more balanced view and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the implications of both sides.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position that favors allowing individuals to design their homes. This stance is articulated in the conclusion and is supported throughout the body paragraphs. However, the phrase "I contend strongly" in the conclusion could be more assertively stated to reinforce the writer’s opinion. Additionally, the transition between discussing the benefits of uniformity and the argument for individual design could be smoother to maintain clarity.
- How to improve: The writer should ensure that their opinion is consistently emphasized throughout the essay. Using phrases such as "In my opinion" or "I believe" at strategic points can help reinforce their stance. Additionally, improving transitions between contrasting viewpoints can enhance the overall coherence of the argument.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas effectively, particularly regarding the economic benefits of maintaining traditional architecture and the personal freedom of design. However, some points, such as the mental well-being aspect of financial burdens, could be further elaborated to provide a more comprehensive argument. The essay does well to support its claims with examples, but some ideas feel underdeveloped.
- How to improve: To strengthen the support for ideas, the writer could delve deeper into the implications of their points. For example, expanding on how financial stress impacts mental health with statistics or studies could provide a more robust argument. Additionally, ensuring that each point is fully developed before moving on to the next will enhance the overall depth of the essay.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay remains largely focused on the topic, discussing the implications of architectural styles on community and individual well-being. However, there are moments where the discussion of community feelings and social status could be more directly linked to the main argument about housing styles. Some sentences, such as those discussing feelings of inferiority, could be perceived as slightly tangential.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that every point made directly relates back to the central question of housing styles. It may be beneficial to explicitly connect ideas about community feelings to the broader implications of architectural choices, reinforcing how these aspects tie back to the main argument. Keeping a clear thread throughout the essay will help maintain relevance and clarity.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 8

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure, beginning with an introduction that outlines the topic and states the writer’s position. Each paragraph effectively addresses a specific viewpoint, with the first paragraph discussing the benefits of uniformity in housing and the second paragraph advocating for individual design preferences. The logical progression of ideas is evident, as the essay moves from discussing the advantages of traditional designs to the merits of personal expression in housing. For example, the transition from the economic benefits of preserving traditional architecture to the social implications of community cohesion is well-articulated.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, the writer could use clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to explicitly state the main idea. Additionally, incorporating transitional phrases between ideas within paragraphs could further improve coherence. For instance, phrases like "Furthermore," or "In addition," could help connect related ideas more smoothly.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different viewpoints, which aids readability and comprehension. Each paragraph is focused on a specific argument, contributing to the overall clarity of the essay. The first paragraph discusses the advantages of traditional designs, while the second paragraph presents the opposing view. However, the conclusion could be more distinct, as it somewhat blends into the final paragraph without a clear separation.
- How to improve: To improve paragraphing, the writer should ensure that the conclusion is clearly marked and distinct from the body paragraphs. This can be achieved by starting the conclusion on a new line and using a phrase that signals the end of the discussion, such as "In conclusion," or "To summarize." Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph has a clear main idea and supporting details will strengthen the overall structure.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good use of cohesive devices, such as "for instance," "first of all," and "on the other hand," which help to link ideas and provide clarity. These devices effectively guide the reader through the arguments presented. However, there are instances where the use of cohesive devices could be more varied. For example, the phrase "In fact," is repeated, which can detract from the overall cohesion.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, the writer should incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "In fact," alternatives such as "Moreover," "Additionally," or "Conversely" could be employed to introduce supporting arguments or contrasting ideas. This variety will enhance the essay’s overall cohesion and make the writing more engaging.

Overall, the essay is well-structured and presents a balanced discussion of the topic. By focusing on improving the clarity of paragraphing, enhancing logical flow with clearer topic sentences, and diversifying cohesive devices, the writer can further elevate the quality of their writing in future essays.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with phrases like "ongoing controversies," "sense of nostalgia," and "financial burdens" showcasing the writer’s ability to use varied language. However, some vocabulary choices are repetitive or slightly awkward, such as "constructing buildings in a specific type" and "persons who are not economically viable," which could be expressed more naturally.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer could incorporate synonyms and more varied expressions. For example, instead of "constructing buildings in a specific type," they could say "building homes in a distinctive style." Additionally, using more idiomatic expressions or collocations could enrich the essay further.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains instances of imprecise vocabulary usage. For example, the phrase "replicating the area’s appearance in the past to bring a sense of nostalgia" could be clearer; it might imply that the new buildings are merely copies rather than inspired by the old ones. The term "inferiority" in the context of house designs could also be seen as overly strong or not entirely appropriate.
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should choose words that more accurately convey their intended meaning. For instance, instead of "inferiority," they might consider "discomfort" or "alienation." Furthermore, ensuring that phrases are contextually appropriate and convey the intended nuance will enhance clarity.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally demonstrates good spelling, with only a few minor errors such as "preserse" instead of "preserve" and "causes" instead of "cause" in the phrase "can causes difficulties." These errors do not significantly detract from the overall comprehension but indicate areas for improvement.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should proofread their work carefully, perhaps reading it aloud to catch errors. Utilizing spell-check tools and practicing commonly misspelled words can also be beneficial. Additionally, focusing on the spelling of complex words and phrases encountered during reading can help solidify correct spelling in writing.

Overall, the essay is well-structured and presents a clear argument, but attention to vocabulary precision, variety, and spelling will help elevate the score further.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of sentence structures, including complex and compound sentences. For instance, the use of phrases like "which can attract overseas travellers" and "to enhance a sense of community" shows an attempt to incorporate relative clauses and infinitive phrases effectively. However, there are instances where sentence structures could be more varied. For example, the sentence "In fact, individuals tend to feel more comfortable when having chit-chat or socialize with those who are the same social status around them" could be restructured for clarity and variety.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures further, consider using more varied introductory phrases and clauses. For example, instead of starting sentences with "In fact" or "First of all," try using participial phrases or adverbial clauses. Additionally, incorporating more complex sentences that combine ideas can enhance the overall sophistication of the writing.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains a good level of grammatical accuracy, but there are several errors that detract from its overall quality. For instance, the phrase "which are like surrounding vintage houses" should be "which resemble surrounding vintage houses" for better clarity. Additionally, the sentence "thus posing a heavy load on their mental well-being and decreasing the quality of life" could be improved by clarifying the subject to avoid ambiguity. Punctuation is mostly correct, but there are instances where commas could be used to separate clauses for better readability, such as in "while replicating past buildings in ancient towns requires much effort and money for exorbitant materials."
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, it is essential to proofread the essay for common errors, such as subject-verb agreement and incorrect word forms. For example, "causes difficulties" should be "cause difficulties" to match the plural subject. Additionally, practicing sentence combining and restructuring can help clarify ideas and improve coherence. Regularly reviewing punctuation rules, especially regarding the use of commas in complex sentences, will also aid in achieving greater accuracy.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid command of grammatical range and accuracy, focusing on diversifying sentence structures and refining grammatical precision will help elevate the score further.

Bài sửa mẫu

Currently, there are ongoing controversies about whether newly built houses should closely resemble older buildings in local areas. In this essay, I will discuss both viewpoints and argue that constructing homes in a specific style in local regions can lead to negative outcomes in various aspects.

Proponents of the view that new houses should mimic the surrounding architecture argue that encouraging individuals to construct homes that resemble older buildings can be beneficial in many ways. To begin with, local residents can seize the opportunity to boost the local economy. For instance, authorities in Hoi An tend to motivate people to build their own houses in a style similar to the vintage homes around them, replicating the area’s historical appearance to evoke a sense of nostalgia that can attract overseas travelers. Thus, this approach could not only bring economic benefits to the development of a specific place but also preserve valuable traditions and cultures, serving as a time machine that helps tourists gain historical insights and delve deeper into a nation’s values. Another argument is that this practice enhances community cohesion. In fact, individuals tend to feel more comfortable engaging in casual conversations or socializing with those of similar social status around them, facilitating connections among residents. In contrast, if people construct their homes in their own designs, this can evoke feelings of inadequacy in less affluent residents, exacerbating differences among local people.

On the other hand, I propose that local residents should be free to design their homes according to their preferences. First of all, individuals can reduce financial burdens. One excellent example is that while replicating historical buildings in ancient towns requires significant effort and money for expensive materials such as rare wood and unique furnishings, individuals with limited financial resources may face considerable pressure and stress when trying to afford these costs. This financial strain can adversely impact their quality of life and pose a heavy load on their mental well-being. Furthermore, the uniformity of houses can lead to a feeling of boredom. In fact, while residents often aim to create an ideal personal environment where they can relax and find peace with their favorite activities, such as barbecuing, sharing a common design with limited space can make it difficult for them to engage in their preferred activities after stressful hours, leading to discomfort and dissatisfaction.

In conclusion, while I do not refute the benefits of encouraging people to build houses similar to surrounding constructions, I strongly contend that individuals should be allowed to design their preferred homes to ensure residential satisfaction and well-being.