Task: Today family members do not eat meals together. Is this a positive or negative trend?

In this day, the number of meals with enough family members are decreasing. Although this phenomenon may restrict some things,I firmly believe that it has more benefits results than detriments.

Granted, one might argue that the lack of family meals has a bad effect. This is because when family members do not eat jointly, they do not have time to talk and care about each other, it makes deterioration of family relations. For example, children want to share stories about their lives every day and get advice from their parents, but they can't. Besides, if misunderstandings in the family cannot be resolved in the long run, leading to family members having bad thoughts about others and even divorces in worst-case scenarios.

It is also noteworthy that not having meals together brings flexibility for individuals. This tendency is attributable to a host of reasons, such as work schedules, extra classes or differences in tastes.For instance,the differences of parents' dismissal time and children's extra-curricular schedule had made it hard to have meals together.. Moreover, the reduction of meals with family members also limits their quarrels to have a delicious meal without being affected by any other harmful factors.

In conclusion, while eating together helps members in the family to be more united, I think this trend brings more convenience and independence

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"In this day" -> "In the present day"
Explanation: "In this day" is an informal and vague expression. "In the present day" is more precise and formal, suitable for academic writing.
"the number of meals with enough family members are decreasing" -> "the frequency of family meals is decreasing"
Explanation: "The number of meals with enough family members" is awkward and unclear. "The frequency of family meals" is more direct and academically appropriate.
"I firmly believe that it has more benefits results than detriments" -> "I firmly believe that the benefits outweigh the detriments"
Explanation: "Benefits results" is grammatically incorrect and awkward. "The benefits outweigh the detriments" is grammatically correct and more formal.
"has a bad effect" -> "has adverse effects"
Explanation: "Has a bad effect" is informal and vague. "Has adverse effects" is more precise and formal.
"it makes deterioration of family relations" -> "it leads to a deterioration in family relations"
Explanation: "It makes deterioration of family relations" is grammatically incorrect. "It leads to a deterioration in family relations" is grammatically correct and clearer.
"children want to share stories about their lives every day and get advice from their parents, but they can’t" -> "children wish to share their daily experiences and seek parental guidance, but are unable to do so"
Explanation: "Want to share stories about their lives every day and get advice from their parents, but they can’t" is informal and slightly awkward. The revised version is more formal and precise.
"if misunderstandings in the family cannot be resolved in the long run, leading to family members having bad thoughts about others and even divorces in worst-case scenarios" -> "if family misunderstandings remain unresolved, leading to negative perceptions among family members and potentially even divorce"
Explanation: The original phrase is overly dramatic and informal. The revised version is more measured and formal.
"not having meals together brings flexibility for individuals" -> "not sharing meals together offers individuals greater flexibility"
Explanation: "Brings flexibility for individuals" is somewhat awkward and informal. "Offers individuals greater flexibility" is more formal and precise.
"a host of reasons" -> "a variety of reasons"
Explanation: "A host of reasons" is somewhat informal and less precise. "A variety of reasons" is more commonly used in academic writing.
"the differences of parents’ dismissal time and children’s extra-curricular schedule" -> "differences in parental work schedules and children’s extracurricular activities"
Explanation: "The differences of parents’ dismissal time and children’s extra-curricular schedule" is awkward and unclear. The revised phrase is clearer and more formal.
"limits their quarrels to have a delicious meal" -> "reduces the likelihood of conflicts during meals"
Explanation: "Limits their quarrels to have a delicious meal" is informal and unclear. "Reduces the likelihood of conflicts during meals" is more precise and formal.
"without being affected by any other harmful factors" -> "without interference from other detrimental factors"
Explanation: "Without being affected by any other harmful factors" is verbose and slightly informal. "Without interference from other detrimental factors" is concise and maintains formality.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Task Response: 5 – UNDER WORD

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both the negative and positive aspects of family members not eating together. However, the response lacks depth in exploring the implications of this trend. The argument for the negative effects is presented but not fully developed, and the positive aspects are mentioned but not sufficiently elaborated. For example, while the essay notes that lack of family meals can lead to deterioration of relationships, it does not explore how this might affect family dynamics or individual well-being in detail.
- How to improve: To comprehensively address all elements of the question, the writer should aim to provide a balanced discussion that includes more detailed examples and explanations for both sides of the argument. Expanding on the consequences of both positive and negative trends would enhance the overall analysis.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay states a clear position that the trend of not eating together has more benefits than drawbacks. However, this position is somewhat undermined by the lack of strong supporting arguments. The transition from discussing negative effects to positive aspects is abrupt, which may confuse readers about the writer’s stance. For instance, the phrase "I firmly believe that it has more benefits results than detriments" could be more assertively linked to the subsequent arguments.
- How to improve: To maintain a clear and consistent position, the writer should explicitly state their viewpoint in the introduction and reinforce it throughout the essay. Using clear topic sentences for each paragraph that relate back to the main argument would help maintain focus and coherence.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents some ideas, such as the benefits of flexibility and independence, but these ideas are not fully extended or supported with adequate evidence. For example, the mention of flexibility due to differing schedules is a valid point, but it could be enhanced by discussing how this flexibility might lead to improved individual productivity or personal time management.
- How to improve: To effectively present and support ideas, the writer should aim to provide more specific examples and explanations. Each point made should be followed by an elaboration that connects the idea back to the main argument. Including statistics, studies, or more personal anecdotes could strengthen the support for each claim.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, discussing the trend of family meals. However, there are moments where the focus wavers, particularly when discussing the negative aspects. The mention of "divorces in worst-case scenarios" feels somewhat extreme and could distract from the main argument about family meals.
- How to improve: To maintain focus and relevance, the writer should ensure that all points made directly relate to the question. Avoiding extreme examples that may not be directly linked to the topic can help keep the discussion grounded. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph ties back to the central argument will enhance coherence.

Overall, the essay demonstrates an understanding of the topic but requires more depth, clarity, and support to achieve a higher band score. Expanding on ideas, providing clearer connections between arguments, and ensuring a balanced discussion will significantly improve the quality of the response.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear argument regarding the trend of family members not eating together, with a discernible structure that includes an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The first paragraph introduces the topic and the writer’s stance effectively. The second paragraph discusses the negative aspects of the trend, while the third paragraph shifts to the positive implications. However, the transition between the negative and positive points could be smoother, as the abrupt shift may confuse readers about the overall argument.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using transitional phrases that explicitly indicate a shift in perspective, such as "On the other hand" or "Conversely." Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that outlines the main idea will help guide the reader through the argument more effectively.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs appropriately, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the argument. However, the second paragraph could benefit from clearer delineation of ideas. For instance, the mention of children sharing stories and the potential for misunderstandings could be better organized into separate sentences or even a sub-point to enhance clarity.
- How to improve: To improve paragraph structure, ensure that each paragraph contains a clear main idea followed by supporting details. Consider breaking down complex ideas into simpler sentences and using examples to illustrate points more effectively. This will not only improve readability but also strengthen the overall argument.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "for example" and "besides," which help to connect ideas. However, the range of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and there are instances where the connections between sentences could be clearer. For example, the phrase "this tendency is attributable to a host of reasons" could be better linked to the previous sentence to clarify the relationship between the ideas.
- How to improve: To diversify and effectively use cohesive devices, incorporate a wider variety of linking words and phrases, such as "furthermore," "in addition," "however," and "consequently." Additionally, consider using pronouns or synonyms to refer back to previously mentioned ideas, which can help to create a smoother flow between sentences and paragraphs.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents a clear argument, improvements in logical organization, paragraph structure, and the use of cohesive devices could elevate the score further. Focusing on these areas will enhance clarity and coherence, ultimately leading to a more persuasive and well-structured essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary. Words such as "deterioration," "flexibility," and "phenomenon" are appropriately used, indicating some level of lexical sophistication. However, there are instances where vocabulary choices are repetitive or overly simplistic, such as "bad effect" and "delicious meal," which could be replaced with more varied or precise terms.
- How to improve: To enhance the range of vocabulary, the writer should aim to incorporate synonyms and more advanced expressions. For example, instead of "bad effect," consider using "adverse impact" or "negative consequence." Additionally, exploring phrases that convey the same meaning in different ways can help avoid repetition and enrich the essay’s language.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains some imprecise vocabulary usage. For instance, the phrase "more benefits results than detriments" is awkward and unclear. The term "detriments" is also somewhat formal and could be replaced with a more straightforward term like "drawbacks." Furthermore, the phrase "leading to family members having bad thoughts about others" could be expressed more clearly as "leading to negative perceptions among family members."
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on clarity and appropriateness of word choice. It is advisable to revise sentences for clarity, ensuring that the vocabulary used accurately conveys the intended meaning. Reading the essay aloud can help identify awkward phrases and allow for adjustments that enhance clarity.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "deterioration" (which is correctly spelled, but the context could be improved) and "extra-curricular" (which is correctly hyphenated, but "extra classes" could be more clearly defined). Additionally, "jointly" is used correctly, but the phrase "meals with enough family members" is awkward and could be rephrased for clarity.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should engage in regular practice with spelling exercises, utilize spell-check tools, and proofread the essay carefully before submission. Keeping a list of commonly misspelled words and reviewing them can also be beneficial. Furthermore, reading more widely can help reinforce correct spelling through exposure to well-written texts.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a reasonable level of lexical resource, there are areas for improvement in vocabulary range, precision, and spelling accuracy. By focusing on these aspects, the writer can enhance their overall performance in the Lexical Resource criteria of the IELTS Task 2 essay.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable variety of sentence structures. For instance, the use of complex sentences such as "Although this phenomenon may restrict some things, I firmly believe that it has more benefits results than detriments" showcases an attempt to convey nuanced ideas. However, there are instances of repetitive structures, particularly in the second paragraph where many sentences begin with "This is because" or "For example." This can make the writing feel somewhat monotonous.
- How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, the writer should incorporate more compound and complex sentences while varying the introductory phrases. For example, instead of starting multiple sentences with "This is because," the writer could use phrases like "One reason for this is that…" or "An additional factor is…" This will not only improve the flow but also engage the reader more effectively.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that detract from its overall clarity. For instance, the phrase "the number of meals with enough family members are decreasing" should be corrected to "the number of meals with enough family members is decreasing" to ensure subject-verb agreement. Additionally, there are punctuation errors, such as the missing space after commas and the incorrect use of periods, as seen in "such as work schedules, extra classes or differences in tastes.For instance," which should have a space before "For."
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on subject-verb agreement and ensure that punctuation is used correctly throughout the essay. A thorough proofreading process can help catch these errors. Additionally, practicing sentence construction and reviewing grammar rules related to common mistakes, such as agreement and punctuation, will be beneficial. Using grammar-checking tools can also aid in identifying and correcting these issues before finalizing the essay.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents a clear argument, addressing these grammatical and structural weaknesses will enhance the overall quality and coherence of the writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

In the present day, the frequency of family meals is decreasing. Although this phenomenon may restrict certain aspects of family life, I firmly believe that the benefits outweigh the detriments.

Granted, one might argue that the lack of family meals has adverse effects. This is because when family members do not eat together, they miss the opportunity to talk and care for one another, which can lead to a deterioration in family relations. For example, children wish to share stories about their daily experiences and seek parental guidance, but are unable to do so. Additionally, if family misunderstandings remain unresolved, it can lead to negative perceptions among family members and potentially even divorce in worst-case scenarios.

It is also noteworthy that not sharing meals together offers individuals greater flexibility. This trend is attributable to a variety of reasons, such as differences in parental work schedules and children’s extracurricular activities. For instance, the differences in parents’ dismissal times and children’s extracurricular commitments have made it challenging to have meals together. Moreover, the reduction of shared meals also reduces the likelihood of conflicts during mealtimes, allowing family members to enjoy their meals without interference from other detrimental factors.

In conclusion, while eating together helps family members to feel more united, I believe this trend brings more convenience and independence.