Test 1: The bar chart compares the number of households categorized by annual income in the United States in three different years: 2007, 2011, and 2015.

The bar chart illustrates how many families (in millions) in the US classified by yearly income in three distinct years 2007, 2011, and 2015.
Overall, the majority of households in the US earn over $100,000 per year during the given period. While, the minority acquired around $75,000 – $99,999 in different years.
To begin with, around 30 million households earned over $100,000 in 2007, after 4 years, this number declined slightly to 27 million, prior to reaching its peak in the last year of approximately 35 million, which was the highest recorded number on this chart. Next, a number of families achieved $25,000-$49,999 was the second highest number, ranging from roughly 25 million to 30 million families in this period. Notably, in 2011, this number surpassed those of over $100,000.
Turing to the next category, at least 25 million households earned less than $25,000 per year, followed closely after those, who earn $25,000-$49,999. Finally, the two remaining categories including families obtained $50,000-$74,999 and families acquired $75,000-$99,999 witnessed a stability without any significant fluctuation. In particular, the former observed around 20,000 million and the latter observed roughly 15 million families in the timeframe.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"The bar chart illustrates how many families (in millions) in the US classified by yearly income in three distinct years 2007, 2011, and 2015." -> "The bar chart depicts the distribution of families in the US by yearly income across three distinct years: 2007, 2011, and 2015."
Explanation: The revised phrase "depicts the distribution of families" is more precise and academically appropriate than "illustrates how many families," which is somewhat vague and informal. Additionally, the inclusion of "across" clarifies the scope of the data.
"While, the minority acquired around $75,000 – $99,999 in different years." -> "Conversely, a minority of households earned between $75,000 and $99,999 in different years."
Explanation: "Conversely" is a more formal transition than "While," and "a minority of households earned" is more specific and formal than "the minority acquired." The phrase "between $75,000 and $99,999" is clearer and more precise than "around $75,000 – $99,999."
"To begin with, around 30 million households earned over $100,000 in 2007, after 4 years, this number declined slightly to 27 million, prior to reaching its peak in the last year of approximately 35 million, which was the highest recorded number on this chart." -> "Initially, approximately 30 million households earned over $100,000 in 2007. This number decreased to around 27 million after four years, before increasing to approximately 35 million in the final year, the highest recorded figure on this chart."
Explanation: "Initially" is a more formal introduction than "To begin with." The use of "decreased" and "increased" instead of "declined" and "reaching its peak" provides a clearer and more direct description of the trend. "The final year" is more precise than "the last year."
"Turing to the next category, at least 25 million households earned less than $25,000 per year, followed closely after those, who earn $25,000-$49,999." -> "Moving to the next category, at least 25 million households earned less than $25,000 per year, closely followed by those earning between $25,000 and $49,999."
Explanation: "Moving to the next category" is a more formal transition than "Turing to the next category," which is likely a typographical error. The phrase "closely followed by those earning between $25,000 and $49,999" is more precise and formal than "followed closely after those, who earn $25,000-$49,999."
"Finally, the two remaining categories including families obtained $50,000-$74,999 and families acquired $75,000-$99,999 witnessed a stability without any significant fluctuation." -> "Finally, the remaining categories, comprising families earning $50,000-$74,999 and those earning $75,000-$99,999, exhibited stability without significant fluctuations."
Explanation: "Comprising" is more formal than "including," and "exhibited stability without significant fluctuations" is more precise and formal than "witnessed a stability without any significant fluctuation."

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay addresses the requirements of the task by providing an overview of the main trends in the data. The essay also presents and adequately highlights key features/bullet points, but some details are irrelevant or inaccurate. For example, the essay states that "the majority of households in the US earn over $100,000 per year during the given period," which is not accurate based on the data. The essay also states that "the number of families achieved $25,000-$49,999 was the second highest number," which is only true for 2011.

How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing more accurate and relevant details. The essay could also be improved by using more precise language and avoiding unnecessary repetition. For example, instead of saying "the number of families achieved $25,000-$49,999," the essay could say "the number of households in the $25,000-$49,999 income bracket." The essay could also be improved by using more concise language. For example, instead of saying "the two remaining categories including families obtained $50,000-$74,999 and families acquired $75,000-$99,999 witnessed a stability without any significant fluctuation," the essay could say "the $50,000-$74,999 and $75,000-$99,999 income brackets remained relatively stable."

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0
Explanation: The essay presents information with some organization, but there is a lack of overall progression. While it attempts to categorize the data and provide comparisons, the flow of ideas is not always clear, leading to some confusion. The use of cohesive devices is inadequate and occasionally inaccurate, which detracts from the overall coherence. Additionally, the paragraphing is present but not always logical, as some paragraphs contain mixed ideas that could be better organized.
How to improve: To enhance coherence and cohesion, the writer should focus on clearly structuring each paragraph around a single main idea and ensuring logical progression between them. Using a wider range of cohesive devices accurately will help connect sentences and ideas more fluidly. Additionally, improving the clarity of referencing and substitution will reduce repetition and enhance the overall readability of the essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary relevant to the task, allowing for basic communication of the data presented in the bar chart. The use of terms like "illustrates," "classified," and "achieved" shows an attempt to employ less common vocabulary. However, there are inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as "families obtained" instead of "families earning" or "families with." Additionally, phrases like "the two remaining categories including families obtained" could be more clearly articulated. There are also some errors in spelling and word formation, such as "Turing" instead of "Turning," which detracts from the overall clarity but does not completely impede communication.

How to improve: To enhance lexical resource, the writer should focus on expanding their vocabulary further and ensuring precise word choice. Practicing the use of synonyms and understanding collocations can help avoid awkward phrasing. Additionally, proofreading for spelling and grammatical errors will improve the overall quality of the essay. Engaging with more complex sentence structures and varied vocabulary will also contribute to a higher band score.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, which is characteristic of Band 6. While there are some grammatical errors and issues with punctuation, they do not significantly hinder communication. The writer attempts to use a variety of structures, but the accuracy of these structures varies, leading to some confusion in meaning. For instance, phrases like "the minority acquired around $75,000 – $99,999" and "the two remaining categories including families obtained" could be clearer. Additionally, there are instances of awkward phrasing and minor errors, such as "Turing" instead of "Turning" and "20,000 million" instead of "20 million."

How to improve:

Enhance Sentence Variety: Incorporate a wider range of complex sentence structures while ensuring they are grammatically correct. This could involve using more subordinate clauses and varied conjunctions.
Proofreading for Errors: Carefully proofread the essay to catch and correct typographical errors and awkward phrases that may confuse the reader.
Clarify Expressions: Use clearer expressions and more precise vocabulary to convey ideas effectively. For example, instead of "the minority acquired," consider "a smaller proportion of households earned."
Focus on Punctuation: Pay attention to punctuation, particularly in complex sentences, to improve clarity and readability.

Bài sửa mẫu

The bar chart illustrates the number of households (in millions) in the US classified by annual income in three distinct years: 2007, 2011, and 2015. Overall, the majority of households in the US earned over $100,000 per year during the given period, while the minority earned around $75,000 to $99,999 in the different years.

To begin with, approximately 30 million households earned over $100,000 in 2007. After four years, this number declined slightly to 27 million, before reaching its peak in the last year at approximately 35 million, which was the highest recorded figure on this chart. Next, the number of families earning between $25,000 and $49,999 was the second highest, ranging from roughly 25 million to 30 million households during this period. Notably, in 2011, this number surpassed that of households earning over $100,000.

Turning to the next category, at least 25 million households earned less than $25,000 per year, closely following those who earned between $25,000 and $49,999. Finally, the two remaining categories, including families earning $50,000 to $74,999 and families earning $75,000 to $99,999, exhibited stability without any significant fluctuations. In particular, the former category recorded around 20 million households, while the latter recorded roughly 15 million households during the timeframe.