Test 1: The diagram below shows the process of growing and preparing pineapples and pineapple products.

The diagram presents how pineapples and pineapple products were yielded and taken care on the significant procedure.
Overall, there are a total of 3 stages to grow a pineapple, this process will cost at least 12 months and only suitable in specific conditions. After that, pineapples could be used in different purposes including making juice or canned food, and export.
To begin with, small pineapples are yielded into soil. In this period, the pineapples’ crown possesses a width of roughly 26cm. This procedure continues in the substantial time. After around 7 months, ethylene will be constantly used by farmers to enrich the development of this food. This stage will need at least 5 month before it turns out to be an ultimate product with the 2kg weight and 30cm length. Notably, in order to create the mature pineapple, the temperature had to consistently remain between 23 and 30C.
Subsequently, pineapples are washed carefully to reduce any left soil preparing to place in the market. It could be used to make juice from extractor or might be cut into small part to put in canned food before coming to the customers. Last but not least, pineapples can be packed with other fruits for export purposes.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"The diagram presents how pineapples and pineapple products were yielded and taken care on the significant procedure." -> "The diagram illustrates the process of cultivating and processing pineapples and pineapple products."
Explanation: The original phrase is awkward and grammatically incorrect. The revised version clarifies the meaning and corrects the verb tense to present the process in a more formal and academically appropriate manner.
"there are a total of 3 stages to grow a pineapple" -> "there are three stages involved in the cultivation of pineapples"
Explanation: "grow a pineapple" is too simplistic and informal for academic writing. "Cultivation of pineapples" is more precise and formal.
"this process will cost at least 12 months" -> "this process requires a minimum of 12 months"
Explanation: "will cost" implies a financial expense, which is not the intended meaning here. "Requires" is more appropriate for describing the time needed for the process.
"only suitable in specific conditions" -> "only suitable under specific conditions"
Explanation: "in" is less formal than "under," which is more precise in this context, referring to the environmental conditions necessary for pineapple cultivation.
"pineapples could be used in different purposes" -> "pineapples can be utilized in various purposes"
Explanation: "could" is less definitive and less formal than "can," and "utilized" is more precise than "used" in this context, suggesting a more intentional and active use.
"small pineapples are yielded into soil" -> "small pineapple plants are planted in soil"
Explanation: "yielded" is incorrect and unclear; "planted" is the correct term for the initial stage of planting seeds or seedlings.
"the pineapples’ crown possesses a width of roughly 26cm" -> "the pineapple plants have a crown diameter of approximately 26cm"
Explanation: "possesses" is awkward and less clear in this context; "have" is more direct and appropriate for describing the physical characteristics of the plants.
"This procedure continues in the substantial time." -> "This process continues over a substantial period."
Explanation: "substantial time" is vague and informal; "substantial period" is more precise and formal.
"ethylene will be constantly used by farmers" -> "ethylene is consistently used by farmers"
Explanation: "will be constantly used" implies future action, which is not appropriate here as it describes ongoing practice. "Is consistently used" corrects this and aligns with the present tense.
"This stage will need at least 5 month" -> "This stage requires at least 5 months"
Explanation: "will need" is informal and less precise; "requires" is more formal and suitable for academic writing.
"the temperature had to consistently remain between 23 and 30C" -> "the temperature must consistently be maintained between 23 and 30C"
Explanation: "had to" is less formal and less precise; "must" is more authoritative and "be maintained" is more precise in describing the requirement for temperature control.
"pineapples are washed carefully to reduce any left soil" -> "pineapples are carefully washed to remove any remaining soil"
Explanation: "are washed carefully" is redundant; "are carefully washed" is more natural. "Any left soil" is awkward; "any remaining soil" is clearer and more formal.
"preparing to place in the market" -> "prior to being placed in the market"
Explanation: "preparing to place" is awkward and unclear; "prior to being placed" is more precise and formal.
"It could be used to make juice from extractor" -> "It can be used to extract juice"
Explanation: "from extractor" is incorrect; "extract" is the correct verb form needed here.
"might be cut into small part" -> "may be cut into smaller parts"
Explanation: "small part" is grammatically incorrect; "smaller parts" is grammatically correct and more formal.
"before coming to the customers" -> "before being sold to customers"
Explanation: "coming to the customers" is informal and vague; "being sold to customers" is more precise and appropriate for a formal context.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5

Explanation: The essay generally addresses the task, but the format is inappropriate in places. The essay does not provide a clear overview of the process, and instead recounts details mechanically. The essay also does not adequately cover all key features/bullet points, and there is a tendency to focus on details.

How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing a clearer overview of the process, highlighting the key features/bullet points, and avoiding irrelevant details. The essay should also be more concise and to the point. For example, the essay could be improved by stating that the process of growing pineapples takes 12 months and involves three stages: planting, growing, and harvesting. The essay could then go on to describe each stage in more detail, highlighting the key features/bullet points. The essay should also avoid irrelevant details, such as the fact that the pineapples are washed carefully to reduce any left soil. This detail is not relevant to the overall process of growing and preparing pineapples.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay presents information with some organization, but there is a noticeable lack of overall progression. While it attempts to describe the stages of growing and preparing pineapples, the transitions between ideas are not always clear, leading to confusion. The use of cohesive devices is inadequate and sometimes inaccurate, which affects the clarity of the connections between sentences and ideas. Additionally, paragraphing is not effectively utilized, as the essay lacks distinct paragraphs that logically separate different stages of the process.

How to improve: To enhance coherence and cohesion, the writer should focus on creating clear paragraphs for each stage of the process, ensuring that each paragraph has a central topic. Using a wider range of cohesive devices correctly will help to link ideas more effectively. Additionally, improving the logical flow of information by using transitional phrases can guide the reader through the essay more smoothly. Finally, ensuring that all details are relevant and clearly connected to the main topic will strengthen the overall coherence of the essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary that is minimally adequate for the task. While it attempts to describe the process of growing and preparing pineapples, the language used is basic and repetitive, with some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation (e.g., "yielded into soil" should be "planted in soil"). There are noticeable errors in spelling and word formation, such as "small part" instead of "small parts," which may cause some difficulty for the reader. Overall, the vocabulary does not convey precise meanings effectively, and the control of lexical features is limited.

How to improve: To enhance the Lexical Resource score, the writer should aim to incorporate a wider range of vocabulary, including less common lexical items, to convey precise meanings. Additionally, improving accuracy in word choice and collocation will strengthen the essay. The writer should also focus on reducing spelling and grammatical errors to ensure clarity and coherence in communication. Using synonyms and varying sentence structures can help avoid repetition and enhance the overall quality of the essay.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of grammatical structures, primarily relying on simple sentences with some attempts at complex forms. While there are some correct structures, the frequent grammatical errors, such as incorrect verb forms ("were yielded" instead of "are yielded"), awkward phrasing ("this procedure continues in the substantial time"), and issues with punctuation, hinder clarity and coherence. These errors can cause some difficulty for the reader, which aligns with the characteristics of a Band 5 score.

How to improve: To enhance the grammatical range and accuracy, the writer should focus on the following areas:

Expand Sentence Variety: Incorporate more complex sentence structures and varied sentence beginnings to improve the overall flow and sophistication of the writing.
Grammar Accuracy: Review and practice common grammatical rules, particularly verb tenses and subject-verb agreement, to minimize errors.
Punctuation: Pay attention to punctuation rules to ensure clarity and correctness in sentence structure.
Proofreading: After writing, take time to proofread the essay to catch and correct any grammatical mistakes or awkward phrasing before submission.

Bài sửa mẫu

The diagram presents how pineapples and pineapple products are grown and prepared through a significant process. Overall, there are a total of three stages to grow a pineapple; this process takes at least 12 months and is only suitable in specific conditions. After that, pineapples can be used for various purposes, including making juice, canned food, and export.

To begin with, small pineapples are planted in the soil. During this period, the pineapples’ crown has a width of roughly 26 cm. This process continues for a substantial amount of time. After around 7 months, farmers will consistently use ethylene to enhance the development of the fruit. This stage requires at least 5 months before it becomes a mature product weighing 2 kg and measuring 30 cm in length. Notably, to create the mature pineapple, the temperature must consistently remain between 23 and 30°C.

Subsequently, pineapples are carefully washed to remove any remaining soil in preparation for the market. They can be used to make juice using an extractor or may be cut into small pieces to be placed in canned food before reaching customers. Last but not least, pineapples can be packed with other fruits for export purposes.