The bar chart shows the average prices per kilometre of clothing imported into the European Union from six different countries in 1993 and 2003.

The bar chart illustrates the import prices of per clothing kilometer by the European Union from six different nations between 1993 and 2003.
Overall, except for Argentina and Japan, the prices of clothes when exported from the remaining nations either increased or stayed unchanged. Furthermore, Argentina consistently was the most expensive clothing market for importation in the EU throughout the given period, albeit experiencing a slight decrease.
Among Bangladesh and the two Asian nations, Chinese clothes cost the most and experienced the highest increasing price level, from 10£ in 1993 to approximately 17£ in 2003. Similarly, but to a lesser extent, was seen in the prices of India and Bangladesh garments, which grew from 7£ to almost 12£ and 3£ to just over 5£ respectively. Meanwhile, the price of Brazil clothing remained unaltered at around 23£ within the decade.
In contrast to the four aforementioned countries, roughly 28£ was the Argentina clothing price in 1993, after which it slightly dropped to just over 25£ in 2003. The figure for Japan garment prices experienced a similar decline, declining from exactly 15£ to around 13£.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

"import prices of per clothing kilometer" -> "import prices per unit of clothing"
Explanation: The phrase "import prices of per clothing kilometer" is awkward and unclear. "Import prices per unit of clothing" is more concise and accurately conveys the intended meaning.
"except for Argentina and Japan" -> "with the exception of Argentina and Japan"
Explanation: "Except for" is informal; "with the exception of" is more formal and suitable for an academic essay.
"clothes when exported" -> "garments exported"
Explanation: "Clothes" is a general term, while "garments" specifically refers to clothing items. Using "garments" enhances precision in vocabulary choice.
"Chinese clothes cost the most" -> "Chinese garments were the most expensive"
Explanation: Replacing "clothes" with "garments" maintains consistency and precision. Also, using "were the most expensive" instead of "cost the most" is more formal and clear.
"highest increasing price level" -> "highest rate of increase"
Explanation: "Highest increasing price level" is grammatically awkward. "Highest rate of increase" is a clearer and more precise way to express the idea.
"Similarly, but to a lesser extent, was seen in the prices" -> "A similar trend, though less pronounced, was observed in the prices"
Explanation: The original phrase is wordy and convoluted. The suggested alternative is more concise and clearer in conveying the same meaning.
"just over 5£ respectively" -> "slightly above 5£, respectively"
Explanation: "Just over" is informal; "slightly above" is more precise and formal. It’s also clearer to explicitly mention the value being referred to.
"In contrast to the four aforementioned countries" -> "In contrast to the previously mentioned four nations"
Explanation: "Aforementioned" is more formal but slightly redundant in this context. "Previously mentioned" is clearer and equally formal.
"experienced a similar decline, declining" -> "similarly experienced a decline, dropping"
Explanation: The repetition of "decline" and "declining" makes the sentence awkward. Replacing "declining" with "dropping" provides variation and clarity.
"Japan garment prices" -> "Japanese garment prices"
Explanation: "Japan" should be used as an adjective to modify "garment prices" to maintain grammatical correctness.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation:
The essay adequately addresses the task by presenting an overview of the import prices of clothing per kilometre into the European Union from six different countries between 1993 and 2003. It covers key features such as the comparison of prices over time and between different countries. The essay provides clear details regarding the price trends, highlighting increases, decreases, and stagnant prices. However, some details could be more fully developed to enhance the clarity and completeness of the response. For instance, the explanation of price changes could be more detailed, providing reasons or factors influencing these changes.

How to improve:
To improve, the essay could provide more detailed explanations for the observed price trends, such as factors influencing price changes over time. Additionally, ensuring that all information provided is relevant and accurate would strengthen the response.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7

Explanation: The essay logically organizes information and ideas, with a clear progression throughout. Each paragraph presents a central topic, starting with an overview and then discussing each country’s import prices individually. The use of cohesive devices is mostly appropriate, aiding in the flow of ideas. However, there are some instances of overuse of repetitive language, such as "clothing prices" and "import prices," which could be varied for better cohesion. Paragraphing is sufficient and appropriate, with clear separation between different points.

How to improve: To improve coherence and cohesion, aim for greater variety in vocabulary to avoid repetition. Additionally, consider using more diverse cohesive devices to connect ideas and sentences smoothly. Ensure consistent paragraphing and maintain a clear structure throughout the essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary, incorporating less common lexical items such as "import prices," "garments," and "unaltered." There is an attempt to convey precise meanings with varied vocabulary, such as "cost," "experienced," "slight decrease," and "remained unaltered." The essay also shows some awareness of style and collocation, evident in phrases like "import prices of per clothing kilometer" and "clothing market for importation." However, there are occasional errors in word choice and word formation, like "import prices of per clothing kilometer" could be more clearly expressed as "import prices per kilometer of clothing." Additionally, the phrase "clothing prices in 1993" would be more precise. Minor spelling errors, such as "Bangladesh and the two Asian nations" instead of "Bangladesh and the other two Asian nations," are present.

How to improve: To improve, focus on using vocabulary more precisely and consistently. Pay attention to word order and phrasing to enhance clarity. Proofreading for minor errors in spelling and word choice will also elevate the lexical resource of the essay.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms. It employs a variety of structures, including comparisons and numerical data presentation. There are some errors in grammar and punctuation, such as missing articles ("the import prices of per clothing kilometer"), inaccurate verb usage ("when exported from the remaining nations"), and inconsistent punctuation ("Brazil clothing remained unaltered at around 23£ within the decade"). However, these errors do not significantly hinder communication.

How to improve: To enhance grammatical range and accuracy, pay closer attention to article usage and verb agreement. Ensure consistency in punctuation throughout the essay. Review complex sentence structures for clarity and accuracy. Additionally, consider using a wider variety of sentence forms to further showcase flexibility in writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

The provided bar chart delineates the per-kilometer import prices of clothing by the European Union from six distinct nations during the periods of 1993 and 2003.

Overall, with the exception of Argentina and Japan, the prices of clothing imported from the other nations either ascended or remained constant. Argentina persistently stood as the most costly market for clothing imports in the EU throughout the specified timeframe, albeit undergoing a slight decrease.

Among Bangladesh and the two Asian nations, Chinese clothing incurred the highest cost and observed the most substantial increase in price, surging from £10 in 1993 to approximately £17 in 2003. A similar, albeit less pronounced, trend was observed in the prices of garments from India and Bangladesh, which escalated from £7 to nearly £12 and from £3 to just over £5, respectively. Meanwhile, the price of clothing from Brazil remained unaltered at around £23 over the course of the decade.

In contrast to the four aforementioned countries, the price of clothing from Argentina stood at approximately £28 in 1993, after which it experienced a slight decline to just over £25 in 2003. Similarly, Japan’s garment prices exhibited a comparable decrease, dropping from exactly £15 to around £13.