The bar charts illustrate the average house expenses in England and its capital city – London, and to present the comparison regarding the average house prices between distinct areas of England within the year 2013. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar charts illustrate the average house expenses in England and its capital city – London, and to present the comparison regarding the average house prices between distinct areas of England within the year 2013. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar charts present detailed information about the average house prices between England and its capital, London, whereas also comparing the average house costs across various regions of England in 2013. Overall, house prices in London were significantly higher compared to the country average house prices during both surveyed years. Additionally, while a standard house in London cost the most, the opposite was true regarding house prices in the North East.
Focusing on the first bar graph, there was a remarkable disparity of the average house prices between England and its capital. Specifically, a house located in England priced £125,000 in 1995, which then showed a moderate increase of £75,000, averaging £200,000 per house by 2013. Meanwhile, London’s house price was considerably higher, with its figure rising from £200,000 to approximately £420,000 over an 18-year timespan.
Turning to the remaining graph, it is readily apparent that London has the highest price for a single house, averaging £400,000, which is £75,000 higher than the South East. In the South West, around £275,000 was the average house price in 2013, while a house situated in the North West cost £200,000 on average within the same year. On the other hand, Midlands and the North East had the lowest prices for each house located in these regions, ranging from £100,000 to £125,000.

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Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

1. "The bar charts present" -> "The bar graphs illustrate"
   Explanation: "Illustrate" is a more precise term in academic writing, suggesting a detailed representation of data, which is more suitable than "present" which is more general and less specific.

2. "house prices in London were significantly higher compared to the country average house prices" -> "house prices in London were significantly higher than the national average"
   Explanation: "National average" is a more specific term than "country average," and "than" is more direct and formal than "compared to," enhancing the academic tone of the statement.

3. "a standard house" -> "a typical dwelling"
   Explanation: "Typical dwelling" is a more formal and precise term than "standard house," which sounds colloquial and vague.

4. "the opposite was true regarding house prices in the North East" -> "the converse was observed in the North East"
   Explanation: "Converse" is a more academic term that implies a direct comparison, and "observed" is more formal than "was true," which can sound too casual for academic writing.

5. "a remarkable disparity of the average house prices" -> "a significant disparity in average house prices"
   Explanation: "Significant" is more commonly used in academic contexts to describe statistical differences, and "in" is the correct preposition for referring to a difference within a set of data.

6. "a house located in England priced £125,000" -> "houses in England were priced £125,000"
   Explanation: "Houses in England were priced £125,000" corrects the grammatical structure and makes the sentence more concise and clear, aligning better with formal academic style.

7. "a moderate increase of £75,000" -> "a moderate increase of £75,000"
   Explanation: This is a typographical error, correcting it to "a moderate increase of £75,000" maintains the original meaning and corrects the punctuation.

8. "London’s house price was considerably higher" -> "London’s house prices were significantly higher"
   Explanation: "Prices" should be plural to match the plural subject "house prices," and "significantly" is more commonly used in academic texts than "considerably" for emphasis on statistical differences.

9. "it is readily apparent" -> "it is evident"
   Explanation: "It is evident" is a more formal and academically appropriate phrase than "it is readily apparent," which can sound informal and slightly colloquial.

10. "the highest price for a single house" -> "the highest price for a single dwelling"
    Explanation: "Dwelling" is a more formal term than "house," fitting better in an academic context.

11. "£75,000 higher than the South East" -> "£75,000 more than those in the South East"
    Explanation: "More than those in the South East" clarifies the comparison and avoids the awkward construction of "£75,000 higher than the South East," which is grammatically incorrect.

12. "On the other hand, Midlands and the North East had the lowest prices for each house located in these regions" -> "In contrast, the Midlands and North East had the lowest prices for dwellings in these regions"
    Explanation: "In contrast" is a more formal transitional phrase than "On the other hand," and "dwellings" is used to maintain consistency with the earlier term "dwelling," enhancing the formality and coherence of the text.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay provides an overview of the main features of the data, including the comparison between England and London, and the comparison between different regions of England. The essay also highlights some key features, such as the fact that London has the highest house prices. However, the essay does not fully extend the key features, and some details are irrelevant or inaccurate. For example, the essay states that the average house price in England increased by £75,000 between 1995 and 2013, but the chart shows that the increase was actually £75,000.

How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing more detailed information about the key features. For example, the essay could discuss the percentage increase in house prices in London and England between 1995 and 2013. The essay could also provide more accurate information about the average house prices in different regions of England.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0
Explanation: The essay logically organizes information and ideas, demonstrating a clear progression throughout. The introduction effectively sets the context, and the body paragraphs present relevant details about house prices in London and other regions of England. There is a clear central topic within each paragraph, and the comparisons made are relevant and well-articulated. However, the use of cohesive devices, while generally appropriate, shows some instances of overuse, particularly in the transition phrases, which could be more varied. Additionally, while paragraphing is present, there are moments where the logical flow could be improved, particularly in the transition between discussing the bar graphs.
How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, the essay could benefit from a more varied use of cohesive devices to enhance the flow of ideas. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next would improve coherence. Introducing more complex sentence structures and reducing redundancy in phrasing would also contribute to a more sophisticated presentation of ideas.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary that allows for some flexibility and precision in conveying the information from the bar charts. The writer employs less common lexical items, such as "disparity," "remarkable," and "situated," showing an awareness of style and collocation. However, there are occasional errors in word choice and phrasing, such as "the opposite was true regarding house prices in the North East," which could be more clearly expressed. Additionally, there are minor inaccuracies in word formation, such as "average house costs" instead of "average house prices," which detracts slightly from the overall lexical precision.

How to improve: To enhance lexical resource, the writer should aim to use more precise vocabulary and ensure that word choices are contextually appropriate. Expanding the use of synonyms and varying sentence structures can also contribute to a more sophisticated lexical range. Furthermore, careful proofreading to catch any minor errors in word formation or collocation will help in achieving a higher band score.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a variety of complex structures and produces frequent error-free sentences. There is good control of grammar and punctuation, although a few minor errors are present. For instance, the phrase "whereas also comparing" is awkwardly constructed and could be improved for clarity. Overall, the grammatical range is adequate, but some sentences could be more varied in structure to enhance the overall complexity and fluidity of the writing.
How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, the writer should aim to incorporate a wider range of complex sentence structures and ensure that all sentences are clear and grammatically correct. Additionally, reducing awkward phrasing and ensuring that all components of sentences are logically connected will improve coherence and cohesion. Practicing with more varied sentence structures and seeking feedback on grammatical accuracy can also be beneficial.

Bài sửa mẫu

The bar charts present detailed information about the average house prices in England and its capital, London, while also comparing the average house costs across various regions of England in 2013. Overall, house prices in London were significantly higher compared to the national average during both surveyed years. Additionally, while a standard house in London cost the most, the opposite was true for house prices in the North East.

Focusing on the first bar graph, there was a remarkable disparity in the average house prices between England and its capital. Specifically, a house in England was priced at £125,000 in 1995, which then showed a moderate increase of £75,000, averaging £200,000 per house by 2013. Meanwhile, London’s house price was considerably higher, with its figure rising from £200,000 to approximately £420,000 over an 18-year timespan.

Turning to the remaining graph, it is readily apparent that London has the highest price for a single house, averaging £400,000, which is £75,000 higher than in the South East. In the South West, the average house price was around £275,000 in 2013, while a house in the North West cost £200,000 on average within the same year. On the other hand, the Midlands and the North East had the lowest prices for houses in these regions, ranging from £100,000 to £125,000.