The benefit of the spread of English as a global language will continue to outweigh the drawbacks. To what extent do you agree?

Nowadays, the expansion of English as a global language is an increasingly popular and controversial topic. However, I agree that the benefits of the spread of English will continue to outweigh its limitations.

On the one hand, the expansion of English is disadvantageous to an extent. To begin with, the extinction of indigenous languages and cultural identities is a major drawback of English’s globalization. As English becomes increasingly popular, languages spoken by smaller communities face the threat of minoritization and eventual extinction. Currently in many countries, even Vietnam, most young people prioritize English over their mother tongue. This can be a significant loss to the richness of human culture, since losing voice means losing national identity. However, governments have also recognized the importance of preserving languages. Therefore, they have introduced a policy to include those languages in the curriculum, solving the current alarming language problem.

On the other hand, I am convinced that the aforementioned drawbacks pale in significance when compared to the glaring benefits of the spread of English as a global language. First, English allows worldwide communication, allowing individuals from many nations, cultures, and backgrounds to converse and collaborate. This can enhance mutual understanding, the interchange of ideas, and worldwide cooperation. Moreover, the growing use of English also allows communities around the world to share their stories, traditions and perspectives with a global audience. Therefore, their national cultural identities are not only not lost but are also widely spread to international friends.

In conclusion, while there are undoubtedly some bad effects linked with the globalization of English, I am of the opinion that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"Nowadays" -> "Currently"
Explanation: "Currently" is a more formal and precise temporal indicator suitable for academic writing, replacing the colloquial "Nowadays."
"an increasingly popular and controversial topic" -> "an increasingly debated and contentious topic"
Explanation: "Debated and contentious" provides a more precise and formal description of the controversy surrounding the topic, enhancing the academic tone.
"the benefits of the spread of English will continue to outweigh its limitations" -> "the advantages of English’s global spread will persist in outweighing its limitations"
Explanation: "Advantages of English’s global spread" is more specific and formal, and "persist in" is a more academic way to express ongoing trends.
"To begin with" -> "Initially"
Explanation: "Initially" is a more formal transitional phrase suitable for academic writing, replacing the colloquial "To begin with."
"the extinction of indigenous languages and cultural identities" -> "the potential extinction of indigenous languages and cultural identities"
Explanation: Adding "potential" softens the statement, making it less absolute and more academically cautious.
"languages spoken by smaller communities face the threat of minoritization and eventual extinction" -> "languages spoken by smaller communities are at risk of minoritization and potential extinction"
Explanation: "Are at risk of" is a more precise and formal way to express potential threats, and removing "eventual" avoids redundancy.
"most young people prioritize English over their mother tongue" -> "many young people prioritize English over their native languages"
Explanation: "Native languages" is a more precise term than "mother tongue," and "many" is less absolute than "most," aligning better with academic caution.
"This can be a significant loss to the richness of human culture" -> "This may represent a significant loss to the richness of human culture"
Explanation: "May represent" is more tentative and academically appropriate than "can be," which is too vague.
"losing voice means losing national identity" -> "the loss of linguistic diversity may result in the erosion of national identity"
Explanation: This revision clarifies the relationship between language loss and national identity, using more precise and formal language.
"the alarming language problem" -> "the pressing language issue"
Explanation: "Pressing issue" is a more formal and precise term than "alarming problem," which is somewhat colloquial.
"I am convinced that the aforementioned drawbacks pale in significance" -> "I am convinced that the aforementioned drawbacks are significantly outweighed"
Explanation: "Are significantly outweighed" is a more formal and precise way to express the comparison, enhancing the academic tone.
"allows worldwide communication" -> "facilitates global communication"
Explanation: "Facilitates" is a more formal verb than "allows," and "global" is preferred over "worldwide" in formal writing.
"the interchange of ideas" -> "the exchange of ideas"
Explanation: "Exchange" is a more commonly used and formal term in academic contexts than "interchange."
"Therefore, their national cultural identities are not only not lost but are also widely spread to international friends" -> "Therefore, their national cultural identities are not only preserved but also disseminated globally"
Explanation: "Preserved" and "disseminated globally" are more precise and formal, replacing the awkward and informal "not only not lost but are also widely spread to international friends."

These changes enhance the formality, precision, and clarity of the essay, aligning it more closely with academic writing standards.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing both the benefits and drawbacks of English as a global language. The introduction clearly states the writer’s position, indicating agreement with the notion that benefits outweigh drawbacks. The body paragraphs present a balanced view, with the first paragraph outlining the disadvantages, such as the extinction of indigenous languages, and the second paragraph emphasizing the advantages, including enhanced communication and cultural exchange. This dual approach demonstrates a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
- How to improve: To further enhance the response, the writer could provide more specific examples or statistics to support claims about the impact of English on indigenous languages. Additionally, addressing potential counterarguments more thoroughly could strengthen the argument and showcase a deeper engagement with the topic.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position throughout, consistently supporting the idea that the benefits of English outweigh its drawbacks. The use of phrases like "I agree" and "I am convinced" reinforces the writer’s stance. However, the transition between discussing drawbacks and benefits could be smoother to enhance the overall coherence of the argument.
- How to improve: To improve clarity and consistency, the writer could use transitional phrases that explicitly connect the drawbacks to the benefits, such as "Despite these drawbacks, it is important to consider…" This would help in maintaining a logical flow and reinforcing the writer’s position.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents and supports ideas effectively, particularly in the second body paragraph, where the benefits of English are elaborated upon. The mention of "worldwide communication" and "mutual understanding" is well-articulated. However, the first paragraph discussing drawbacks could benefit from further development; while it identifies a significant issue, it lacks depth in exploring the implications of language loss.
- How to improve: To enhance the support for ideas, the writer should aim to elaborate more on the consequences of language extinction, perhaps by discussing specific cultures or languages at risk. Additionally, integrating more examples of how English facilitates global communication would provide a stronger foundation for the argument.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay remains largely on topic, focusing on the spread of English and its implications. The writer successfully navigates the complexities of the issue without deviating into unrelated areas. However, there are moments where the discussion of cultural identity could be more tightly linked to the central argument about the benefits of English.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer could more explicitly tie the discussion of cultural identity back to the advantages of English. For instance, clarifying how English can serve as a tool for promoting and preserving cultural narratives would strengthen the relevance of the points made.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the topic and presents a well-reasoned argument. With some enhancements in the areas of example usage, transitional coherence, and depth of analysis, the essay could achieve an even higher score in the Task Response criteria.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 8

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear and logical structure, with a well-defined introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The introduction effectively sets up the argument by stating the writer’s position on the topic. Each body paragraph addresses a specific aspect of the argument, with the first paragraph discussing the drawbacks of English as a global language and the second paragraph focusing on its benefits. The transition between these points is smooth, allowing the reader to follow the argument easily.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, the writer could consider using more explicit topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph. For instance, starting the second paragraph with a clear statement like "Despite the drawbacks, the benefits of English as a global language are significant" would reinforce the contrast between the two sides of the argument and guide the reader more effectively.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay utilizes paragraphs effectively, with each paragraph focusing on a distinct idea. The first paragraph addresses the disadvantages of English, while the second highlights its advantages. This separation of ideas helps maintain clarity. However, the conclusion could be more robust, as it briefly summarizes the argument without reiterating the main points discussed in the body paragraphs.
- How to improve: To strengthen the conclusion, the writer should summarize the key arguments made in the body paragraphs. For example, restating the main drawbacks and benefits before concluding with a final opinion would reinforce the essay’s overall message and provide a more satisfying closure.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good use of cohesive devices, such as "on the one hand," "on the other hand," and "however," which effectively signal contrasts and transitions between ideas. Additionally, phrases like "to begin with" and "moreover" help to structure the argument and guide the reader through the points being made. However, the use of cohesive devices could be further diversified to avoid repetition and enhance the overall flow.
- How to improve: The writer could incorporate a wider variety of cohesive devices, such as "in contrast," "furthermore," or "consequently," to create more nuanced connections between ideas. For example, instead of repeatedly using "however," the writer could alternate with "nevertheless" or "despite this" to maintain reader engagement and improve the essay’s overall sophistication.

Overall, the essay demonstrates strong coherence and cohesion, effectively organizing ideas and using cohesive devices to guide the reader. By implementing the suggested improvements, the writer can further enhance the clarity and impact of their argument.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary relevant to the topic. Words like "expansion," "globalization," "minoritization," and "interchange" show an ability to use less common lexical items. However, there are instances where more varied synonyms could enhance the essay. For example, the phrase "glaring benefits" could be replaced with alternatives like "significant advantages" or "notable merits" to avoid repetition.
- How to improve: To improve, the writer should aim to incorporate a broader array of synonyms and phrases. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "benefits" and "drawbacks," consider using "advantages," "positives," "disadvantages," or "negatives." Additionally, practicing paraphrasing exercises can help expand vocabulary usage.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary accurately, but there are moments where precision could be improved. For example, the term "minoritization" is less commonly used and may not be understood by all readers. While it is contextually appropriate, simpler alternatives like "marginalization" could enhance clarity. Additionally, the phrase "bad effects" is vague and could be replaced with "negative impacts" for greater precision.
- How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should focus on using vocabulary that is widely understood and contextually appropriate. This can be achieved by reviewing vocabulary lists relevant to the IELTS exam and practicing using these words in sentences. Furthermore, seeking feedback from peers or instructors on word choice can help identify areas for improvement.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay displays a high level of spelling accuracy, with no noticeable errors in the text. Words are spelled correctly, which contributes positively to the overall clarity and professionalism of the writing.
- How to improve: To maintain and further improve spelling accuracy, the writer should continue to practice writing and proofreading their work. Utilizing spell-check tools and reading the essay aloud can help catch any potential errors. Additionally, keeping a personal list of commonly misspelled words and reviewing them regularly can be beneficial.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid command of lexical resource with room for improvement in vocabulary range and precision. By incorporating a wider variety of vocabulary and ensuring clarity in word choice, the writer can enhance their score in this criterion.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For example, the use of complex sentences such as "As English becomes increasingly popular, languages spoken by smaller communities face the threat of minoritization and eventual extinction" effectively conveys nuanced ideas. However, there are instances of repetitive sentence beginnings and structures, particularly in the second paragraph where several sentences start with "This" or "Moreover," which can detract from the overall variety.
- How to improve: To enhance the range of structures, the writer could incorporate more varied transitions and introductory phrases. For instance, instead of starting multiple sentences with "This" or "Moreover," the writer could use alternatives like "Additionally," "Furthermore," or "In addition to this." Experimenting with different sentence openings and combining shorter sentences into more complex ones can also add variety.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally demonstrates a solid command of grammar and punctuation, with few noticeable errors. For example, the phrase "the extinction of indigenous languages and cultural identities is a major drawback" is grammatically correct and clearly articulated. However, there are minor issues, such as the phrase "the current alarming language problem," which could be more clearly expressed as "the alarming problem of language loss." Additionally, there are instances where commas could enhance clarity, such as before "and" in lists or before conjunctions in complex sentences.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on refining sentence clarity and punctuation. Reviewing comma usage, particularly in compound and complex sentences, will help clarify meaning. It may also be beneficial to proofread for awkward phrasing or redundancy, ensuring that each sentence conveys its intended meaning clearly and concisely. Engaging in grammar exercises focused on common errors can further strengthen these skills.

By addressing these areas, the writer can work towards achieving a higher band score in Grammatical Range and Accuracy.

Bài sửa mẫu

Nowadays, the expansion of English as a global language is an increasingly debated and contentious topic. However, I agree that the advantages of English’s global spread will persist in outweighing its limitations.

On the one hand, the expansion of English does present some disadvantages. Initially, the potential extinction of indigenous languages and cultural identities is a major drawback of English’s globalization. As English becomes more popular, languages spoken by smaller communities are at risk of minoritization and potential extinction. Currently, in many countries, including Vietnam, many young people prioritize English over their native languages. This may represent a significant loss to the richness of human culture, as losing one’s voice can lead to the erosion of national identity. However, governments have also recognized the importance of preserving languages. Therefore, they have introduced policies to include these languages in the curriculum, addressing the pressing language issue.

On the other hand, I am convinced that the aforementioned drawbacks are significantly outweighed by the glaring benefits of the spread of English as a global language. First, English facilitates global communication, enabling individuals from various nations, cultures, and backgrounds to converse and collaborate. This can enhance mutual understanding, the exchange of ideas, and worldwide cooperation. Moreover, the growing use of English allows communities around the world to share their stories, traditions, and perspectives with a global audience. Therefore, their national cultural identities are not only preserved but also disseminated globally.

In conclusion, while there are undoubtedly some negative effects linked with the globalization of English, I am of the opinion that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.