The best way for government to solve the problem of traffic congestion is providing free public transport in 24 hours per day, and seven days a week. To what extent do you agree or disagree.
The best way for government to solve the problem of traffic congestion is providing free public transport in 24 hours per day, and seven days a week. To what extent do you agree or disagree.
The most optimal way for the government to handle traffic jams is to conduct a free public transport system all day and night. This writer concurs with the statement as the provision of free transports can support residents any time in a day and for the economy with high adaptability.
It is vital to understand that the overcrowding of private transportations has been dominating streets leading to congestion and triggering severe complaints from citizens. That is why new solutions should be come up with to prevent driving offences or peak periods such as up-to-date practical alternatives and public transports that can accommodate a large number of people which save time and show convenience.
Another major factor is that not every resident possesses a vehicle so free public transports should always be taken into consideration due to high accessibility and almost no cost. Hence, offering zero-fare public transports and applying alternatives at the same time can greatly relieve the problem of traffic congestion.
To summarize, it can be seen that conformity on the streets will always occur positively for the reason of convenience, time saving and economical results, ultimately generating the demands needed for citizens and avoiding traffic jams.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
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"most optimal way" -> "most effective strategy"
Explanation: "Most optimal" is somewhat vague and informal. "Most effective strategy" is more precise and formal, fitting the academic style better. -
"conduct a free public transport system" -> "implement a free public transportation system"
Explanation: "Conduct" is not typically used in the context of implementing a system, whereas "implement" is the correct term. Additionally, "transportation" is the more formal term compared to "transport." -
"support residents any time in a day" -> "support residents at any time of the day"
Explanation: "Any time in a day" is grammatically incorrect. "At any time of the day" is grammatically correct and more formal. -
"high adaptability" -> "high adaptability"
Explanation: The word "adaptability" is already singular, so "high adaptability" is redundant. Removing "high" corrects the redundancy. -
"overcrowding of private transportations" -> "overcrowding of private transportation"
Explanation: "Transportations" is plural and incorrect in this context. "Transportation" should be used as a mass noun, referring to the system as a whole. -
"come up with" -> "develop"
Explanation: "Come up with" is informal and colloquial. "Develop" is more formal and appropriate for academic writing. -
"up-to-date practical alternatives" -> "up-to-date practical alternatives"
Explanation: This is a typographical error. The word "alternatives" should not be repeated. -
"public transports" -> "public transportation"
Explanation: Consistency in noun form is important. "Transportation" should be used consistently throughout the text. -
"save time and show convenience" -> "save time and provide convenience"
Explanation: "Show convenience" is awkward and unclear. "Provide convenience" is more direct and appropriate in formal writing. -
"not every resident possesses a vehicle" -> "not all residents own a vehicle"
Explanation: "Possesses" is less common in this context; "own" is more direct and appropriate for discussing possession of vehicles. -
"free public transports" -> "free public transportation"
Explanation: Consistency in noun form is important. "Transportation" should be used consistently throughout the text. -
"almost no cost" -> "at little or no cost"
Explanation: "Almost no cost" is informal and vague. "At little or no cost" is more precise and formal. -
"conformity on the streets" -> "conformity on the roads"
Explanation: "Streets" is too informal and vague for this context. "Roads" is more specific and appropriate for discussing traffic. -
"conformity on the streets will always occur positively" -> "conformity on the roads will always have positive outcomes"
Explanation: "Occur positively" is awkward and unclear. "Have positive outcomes" is clearer and more formal. -
"for the reason of convenience, time saving and economical results" -> "due to the convenience, time savings, and economic benefits"
Explanation: "For the reason of" is grammatically incorrect and informal. "Due to" is correct, and "economic benefits" is more formal than "economical results." -
"avoiding traffic jams" -> "mitigating traffic congestion"
Explanation: "Avoiding traffic jams" is somewhat informal and imprecise. "Mitigating traffic congestion" is more specific and formal, fitting the academic style better.
Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5
Band Score for Task Response: 5 – UNDER WORD
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Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses the prompt by agreeing with the statement that providing free public transport can alleviate traffic congestion. However, it lacks a thorough exploration of the extent to which the writer agrees or disagrees. The essay does not sufficiently discuss alternative solutions or counterarguments, which are crucial for a balanced response. For instance, the mention of "up-to-date practical alternatives" is vague and does not elaborate on what these alternatives might be.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should explicitly state their position on the extent of agreement or disagreement. They could include a discussion of other potential solutions to traffic congestion, such as improving road infrastructure or implementing carpooling initiatives. This would provide a more comprehensive answer to the prompt.
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Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a position that supports the idea of free public transport; however, the clarity of this position is undermined by vague language and a lack of consistent argumentation. Phrases like "this writer concurs with the statement" are somewhat formal and could be more directly stated. The conclusion also introduces ambiguity by using terms like "conformity on the streets," which does not clearly relate back to the main argument.
- How to improve: The writer should aim for a more straightforward expression of their position. Using clear and direct language throughout the essay will help maintain consistency. Additionally, reinforcing the main argument in each paragraph and linking back to the thesis in the conclusion will strengthen the overall clarity.
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Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents some ideas regarding the benefits of free public transport, such as accessibility and cost-effectiveness. However, these ideas are not fully developed or supported with specific examples. For instance, while the essay mentions "high adaptability," it does not explain how this adaptability would manifest in practice or provide evidence to support this claim.
- How to improve: To improve, the writer should aim to elaborate on each point made. This could involve providing specific examples of cities that have successfully implemented free public transport and the resulting impact on traffic congestion. Additionally, incorporating statistics or studies would lend credibility to the arguments presented.
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Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the issue of traffic congestion and the proposed solution of free public transport. However, the introduction of vague terms and phrases can lead to some confusion about the main argument. For example, the phrase "triggering severe complaints from citizens" is somewhat off-topic and does not directly relate to the proposed solution.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that each sentence contributes directly to the main argument. Avoiding vague language and ensuring that every point made ties back to the central thesis will help keep the essay on topic. Additionally, a more structured approach, with clear topic sentences for each paragraph, would enhance coherence.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7
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Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear argument in favor of free public transport as a solution to traffic congestion. The introduction effectively states the writer’s position, and the body paragraphs provide supporting points. However, the logical flow could be improved. For instance, the transition from discussing the problem of private transportation to the benefits of free public transport lacks a clear connection. The second paragraph introduces new ideas without adequately linking them back to the thesis.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, the writer should ensure that each paragraph clearly relates back to the main argument. Using topic sentences that summarize the main point of each paragraph can help guide the reader. Additionally, incorporating transitional phrases (e.g., "Furthermore," "In addition," "Conversely") can improve the flow between ideas and paragraphs.
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Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay is divided into distinct paragraphs, which is a positive aspect. Each paragraph addresses a specific point, but the structure within paragraphs could be more effective. For example, the second paragraph introduces multiple ideas about the problems caused by private transportation without clearly delineating them, making it harder for the reader to follow.
- How to improve: To improve paragraph structure, the writer should focus on one main idea per paragraph and develop it fully before moving on to the next point. Each paragraph should start with a clear topic sentence, followed by supporting sentences that elaborate on that idea. This will create a more coherent and focused argument.
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Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "that is why" and "hence," which help connect ideas. However, the range of cohesive devices used is somewhat limited, and some phrases feel repetitive. For instance, the phrase "public transports" is used multiple times without variation, which can detract from the overall cohesion of the essay.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, the writer should incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases. For example, using synonyms or alternative phrases for "public transport" (e.g., "mass transit," "public transportation options") can enhance lexical variety. Additionally, employing a mix of conjunctions (e.g., "although," "despite," "in contrast") can help clarify relationships between ideas and improve the overall flow of the essay.
By addressing these areas of improvement, the writer can enhance the coherence and cohesion of the essay, potentially raising the band score in this criterion.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6
Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6
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Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms such as "optimal," "congestion," "overcrowding," and "accessibility." However, the use of phrases like "conduct a free public transport system" and "new solutions should be come up with" indicates a limited range and some awkward constructions. The phrase "high adaptability" is somewhat vague and does not clearly convey a specific idea.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, consider using synonyms and more varied expressions. For example, instead of "conduct a free public transport system," you could say "implement a comprehensive free public transport system." Additionally, replacing "high adaptability" with a more precise term, such as "flexibility" or "efficiency," would improve clarity.
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Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: While some vocabulary is used correctly, there are instances of imprecise usage. For example, "transports" is used incorrectly; the correct term should be "transportation" or "public transport." The phrase "should be come up with" is also awkward and incorrect; it should be "should be developed" or "should be proposed."
- How to improve: Focus on using vocabulary that accurately conveys your intended meaning. Review common collocations and phrases in English to ensure that you are using terms in their correct contexts. For instance, instead of "free transports," use "free public transport services" for clarity and precision.
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Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains a few spelling errors, such as "transports" (should be "transport") and "come up with" (should be "come up with"). While the overall spelling is generally accurate, these errors detract from the overall quality of the writing.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, consider implementing a proofreading strategy. After writing, take a moment to read through your essay carefully, focusing specifically on spelling. Additionally, using tools like spell checkers or writing apps can help identify and correct spelling mistakes before submission.
In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and employs some relevant vocabulary, there are areas for improvement in vocabulary range, precision, and spelling accuracy. By focusing on these aspects, the writer can enhance their lexical resource and potentially achieve a higher band score in future essays.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7
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Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For instance, phrases like "This writer concurs with the statement" and "It is vital to understand that…" showcase the use of introductory clauses and a mix of sentence types. However, there are instances where the sentence structure could be more varied. For example, the sentence "Another major factor is that not every resident possesses a vehicle…" is somewhat repetitive in structure compared to earlier sentences.
- How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, consider incorporating more complex sentences that include subordinate clauses or varying the order of information. For example, instead of starting with "Another major factor is that…", you could rephrase it to "In addition to this, the fact that not every resident possesses a vehicle further emphasizes the need for free public transport." This not only adds variety but also improves the flow of ideas.
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Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains a good level of grammatical accuracy, but there are notable errors that detract from clarity. For instance, the phrase "should be come up with" should be corrected to "should be come up with" or "should be developed." Additionally, the use of "transports" is awkward; "transportation" or "public transport" would be more appropriate. Punctuation is mostly correct, but there are instances where commas could enhance readability, such as before conjunctions in compound sentences.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, it is essential to proofread for common errors, such as verb forms and word choice. Practicing with grammar exercises focused on verb tenses and noun forms can be beneficial. Furthermore, reviewing punctuation rules, especially regarding the use of commas in complex sentences, will help in creating clearer and more polished writing.
Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid command of grammatical range and accuracy, focusing on diversifying sentence structures and refining grammatical precision will enhance the overall quality and coherence of the writing.
Bài sửa mẫu
The most effective strategy for the government to address traffic congestion is to implement a free public transportation system that operates 24 hours a day, seven days a week. This writer agrees with this statement, as providing free transportation can support residents at any time of the day and benefit the economy with high adaptability.
It is essential to recognize that the overcrowding of private transportation has been dominating the streets, leading to congestion and triggering significant complaints from citizens. Therefore, new solutions must be developed to mitigate driving offenses or peak periods, such as up-to-date practical alternatives and public transportation that can accommodate a large number of people, saving time and providing convenience.
Another major factor is that not all residents own a vehicle, so free public transportation should always be considered due to its high accessibility and minimal cost. Hence, offering zero-fare public transportation while simultaneously applying alternatives can greatly alleviate the problem of traffic congestion.
To summarize, it can be seen that conformity on the roads will always have positive outcomes due to the convenience, time savings, and economic benefits it provides. Ultimately, this approach will generate the demand needed for citizens and help avoid traffic jams.