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The best way to solve the traffic and transportation problem is to encourage people to live in cities rather than suburbs or countryside. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The best way to solve the traffic and transportation problem is to encourage people to live in cities rather than suburbs or countryside. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some assert that settling in inner cities rather than in suburbs or rural areas is the primary way to curb traffic and transportation problems. Personally, I am partly in favor of it, while cities may provide contemporary features, namely public transport and safety-relating advantages, other negative effects, such as the inordinate amount of residents, may occur.

On the one hand, from my perspective, there are evident factors cities have that can afflict previous problems. Firstly, the volume of public vehicles in those places is far greater and more advanced than in the countryside, which dramatically mitigates commuting issues. Due to the low density of residents, the far-flung areas do not usually comprise adequate public transport causing a massive hindrance from traveling to further sites. As a result, cities with these high-tech amenities are likely to be the most ideal living places. Secondly, traffic laws and road maintenance in highly developed cities are more likely to maintain driving safety for city dwellers, reducing accident possibilities. Unlike the majority of roads in non-urban sites being degraded and containing numerous potholes, those in urban ones are completely well-constructed and qualified for their citizens’ safety. However, this trend still contains some minor issues.

On the other hand, I firmly believe that moving to urban cities, along with enhancing people’s transportation, will lead to other drawbacks, and the most prominent one is overpopulation. Indeed, the growth of citizens in big cities has always been a controversial issue due to the lack of adequate space, but the high demand. A reason for this is that people have not carefully considered the numerous downsides of living in a crowded area. Take the significant increase in traffic jams during rush hour as an example. Additionally, it has both directly or indirectly worsened a variety of issues, not only the traffic one. It is, in fact, the profound factor of the out-of-controlled urban sprawl and badly affects the surrounding hinterlands.

To encapsulate, I personally believe to some extent that moving to urban places will solve the traffic and transportation issues by providing public amenities and ensuring safety, as it might worsen another problem: having overpopulated citizens


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

  1. "Some assert that settling in inner cities rather than in suburbs or rural areas is the primary way to curb traffic and transportation problems. Personally, I am partly in favor of it, while cities may provide contemporary features, namely public transport and safety-relating advantages, other negative effects, such as the inordinate amount of residents, may occur."

    • "Some argue that residing in inner cities, as opposed to suburbs or rural areas, is the primary solution to alleviate traffic and transportation issues. Personally, I am partially in favor of this notion. While cities may offer modern amenities, including public transportation and safety-related advantages, other detrimental effects, such as excessive population density, may arise."
    • Explanation: Replacing "Some assert" with "Some argue" provides a more neutral and formal tone. The phrase "contemporary features" is replaced with "modern amenities," and "safety-relating advantages" is changed to "safety-related advantages" for clarity. The term "inordinate amount of residents" is modified to "excessive population density" for precision and formality.
  2. "On the one hand, from my perspective, there are evident factors cities have that can afflict previous problems. Firstly, the volume of public vehicles in those places is far greater and more advanced than in the countryside, which dramatically mitigates commuting issues. Due to the low density of residents, the far-flung areas do not usually comprise adequate public transport causing a massive hindrance from traveling to further sites. As a result, cities with these high-tech amenities are likely to be the most ideal living places. Secondly, traffic laws and road maintenance in highly developed cities are more likely to maintain driving safety for city dwellers, reducing accident possibilities. Unlike the majority of roads in non-urban sites being degraded and containing numerous potholes, those in urban ones are completely well-constructed and qualified for their citizens’ safety. However, this trend still contains some minor issues."

    • "On one hand, in my view, cities possess factors that can address previous problems. Firstly, the volume of public vehicles in urban areas surpasses that in rural regions, significantly alleviating commuting issues. Due to the low population density in remote areas, public transport is often inadequate, posing a significant hindrance to travel. Consequently, cities equipped with these high-tech amenities are likely to be the most desirable places to live. Secondly, traffic laws and road maintenance in highly developed cities are more likely to ensure driving safety for residents, reducing the risk of accidents. In contrast to the degraded roads and numerous potholes found in non-urban areas, urban roads are well-constructed and designed to ensure citizen safety. However, this trend still presents some minor challenges."
    • Explanation: The phrase "On the one hand" is simplified to "On one hand" for conciseness. The term "evident factors" is changed to "factors that can address," and "afflict previous problems" is modified to "address previous problems" for clarity. The expression "far greater and more advanced" is replaced with "surpasses," and "dramatically mitigates" is substituted with "significantly alleviating" for precision. The phrase "massive hindrance from traveling to further sites" is clarified as "significant hindrance to travel" for better readability. The term "ideal living places" is substituted with "desirable places to live" for a more nuanced expression. The phrase "completely well-constructed and qualified" is simplified to "well-constructed and designed" for conciseness.
  3. "On the other hand, I firmly believe that moving to urban cities, along with enhancing people’s transportation, will lead to other drawbacks, and the most prominent one is overpopulation. Indeed, the growth of citizens in big cities has always been a controversial issue due to the lack of adequate space, but the high demand. A reason for this is that people have not carefully considered the numerous downsides of living in a crowded area. Take the significant increase in traffic jams during rush hour as an example. Additionally, it has both directly or indirectly worsened a variety of issues, not only the traffic one. It is, in fact, the profound factor of the out-of-controlled urban sprawl and badly affects the surrounding hinterlands."

    • "On the other hand, I strongly believe that relocating to urban areas, while improving transportation, may result in other drawbacks, with overpopulation being the most prominent. The growth of the urban population has long been a controversial issue due to limited space and high demand. One reason for this is that people have not carefully considered the numerous downsides of living in densely populated areas. Consider the significant increase in traffic jams during rush hour as an example. Moreover, urbanization has directly or indirectly exacerbated a variety of issues, not just traffic. It is, in fact, a significant factor in uncontrolled urban sprawl and has adverse effects on the surrounding hinterlands."
    • Explanation: "Firmly believe" is replaced with "strongly believe" for a more formal tone. The phrase "moving to urban cities" is changed to "relocating to urban areas" for variety and clarity. "Enhancing people’s transportation" is modified to "improving transportation" for conciseness. The term "drawbacks" is used instead of "issues" for precision. "Indeed" is removed for a smoother transition. "The lack of adequate space, but the high demand" is revised as "due to limited space and high demand" for clarity. The phrase "not only the traffic one" is simplified to "not just traffic" for better flow. "Out-of-controlled" is corrected to "uncontrolled" for grammatical accuracy. The term "hinterlands" is used for a more formal and precise expression of surrounding rural areas.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay adequately addresses all parts of the question. It discusses the advantages of living in cities, such as advanced public transport and safety, while also acknowledging the potential drawbacks, particularly overpopulation.
    • How to improve: To further enhance the completeness of the response, consider providing more specific examples and elaborating on the potential drawbacks of overpopulation in cities.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position throughout, stating a partial agreement with the idea that living in cities is the best solution to traffic and transportation problems. The position is consistent, and the essay does not waver.
    • How to improve: Continue to reinforce the stated position by emphasizing key points and consistently connecting them back to the main argument.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively presents ideas supporting both sides of the argument. It provides examples such as advanced public transport and safety measures in cities, as well as the potential negative impact of overpopulation.
    • How to improve: To further extend ideas, consider providing more depth in the analysis of each supporting point. Provide specific details or examples to make the arguments more compelling.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, discussing the impact of living in cities on traffic and transportation problems. However, there is some slight deviation when discussing overpopulation, which, while relevant, needs a more direct connection to the main topic.
    • How to improve: Ensure that all points made, including those related to overpopulation, directly tie back to the central argument about the impact of living in cities on traffic and transportation.

In summary, the essay effectively addresses the prompt, presenting a well-structured response with a clear position. To improve, consider providing more specific examples, reinforcing the stated position consistently, offering deeper analysis for supporting points, and ensuring all points directly relate to the main topic.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable level of logical organization. The introduction sets the stage by presenting both sides of the argument. Body paragraphs follow a clear structure, with the first one discussing advantages of living in cities, and the second one addressing the drawbacks. However, the transition between the advantages and drawbacks could be smoother for a more seamless flow.
    • How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using transitional phrases or sentences to connect ideas between paragraphs. This helps readers follow the progression of your argument more effortlessly. For example, a sentence at the end of the first body paragraph could guide the reader into the discussion of drawbacks in the following paragraph.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay employs paragraphs, but their structure could benefit from improvement. Each paragraph covers a distinct aspect of the argument, which is effective. However, within paragraphs, there is room for clearer organization of ideas. Some sentences tend to be lengthy and cover multiple points, making it challenging for readers to distinguish between them.
    • How to improve: Break down long sentences into shorter ones, each addressing a specific point. This enhances readability and allows readers to absorb information more easily. Additionally, consider starting each paragraph with a clear topic sentence that previews the main idea, providing readers with a roadmap for the content that follows.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay employs cohesive devices adequately, such as "on the one hand" and "on the other hand" to signal opposing viewpoints. However, there is room for improvement in the variety and sophistication of cohesive devices. More diverse connectors and transitional words can elevate the overall coherence.
    • How to improve: Experiment with a wider range of cohesive devices, including but not limited to, moreover, furthermore, nevertheless, consequently, etc. This adds sophistication to your writing and creates a smoother flow between sentences and paragraphs. Ensure that each cohesive device is used appropriately to maintain clarity and coherence.

In summary, while the essay exhibits a commendable level of coherence and cohesion, refining the transition between paragraphs, enhancing paragraph structure, and diversifying cohesive devices can contribute to a more polished and effectively communicated response.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonably wide range of vocabulary. There is an attempt to use varied words and phrases to express ideas. For instance, terms like "contemporary features," "high-tech amenities," and "urban sprawl" contribute to lexical diversity.
    • How to improve: To enhance the range of vocabulary, consider incorporating more nuanced and sophisticated terms where appropriate. For instance, instead of using "high-tech amenities," explore specific technological advancements or innovative infrastructure. Additionally, pay attention to collocations and idiomatic expressions to elevate the lexical richness.
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary appropriately, but there are instances where precision could be improved. For example, the phrase "volume of public vehicles" might be refined to "traffic density," and the term "controversial issue" could be specified to convey the nature of the controversy.
    • How to improve: Focus on using terms that precisely convey your intended meaning. Instead of general phrases, opt for specific vocabulary that adds clarity. Consider refining expressions like "a controversial issue" to specify the nature of the controversy, such as "contentious urban population growth."
  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a satisfactory level of spelling accuracy. However, there are a few instances of minor errors, such as "inordinate" (potentially intended as "inordinate") and "out-of-controlled" (may be intended as "out-of-control"). These do not significantly impede understanding.
    • How to improve: Proofread carefully to catch minor spelling errors. Additionally, consider using writing tools or spell-check features to identify and rectify any overlooked mistakes. Developing a habit of revising written work systematically can contribute to improved spelling accuracy.

Overall, the essay showcases a competent use of vocabulary, providing a solid foundation for expressing ideas. To achieve a higher score, focus on refining precision, incorporating more sophisticated terms, and ensuring meticulous spelling accuracy.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a satisfactory range of sentence structures. It effectively employs both simple and complex sentence structures, contributing to clarity and coherence. For instance, the essay uses complex sentences to explain the benefits of living in cities, such as the presence of advanced public transport. However, there is room for improvement in the variety of structures. The majority of sentences tend to follow a similar pattern, which, while grammatically correct, can make the writing less engaging.
    • How to improve: To enhance the grammatical range and keep the reader engaged, consider incorporating a more diverse array of sentence structures. Experiment with compound and complex sentences, varying sentence length for emphasis and rhythm. For instance, try using appositive phrases, introductory clauses, or inverted sentence structures.
  • Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally demonstrates accurate grammar and punctuation usage. However, there are a few instances where errors or awkward phrasing occur. For instance, in the sentence, "Some assert that settling in inner cities rather than in suburbs or rural areas is the primary way to curb traffic and transportation problems," the term "assert" may be better replaced with "argue." Additionally, there are minor issues with subject-verb agreement, such as in "the growth of citizens in big cities has always been a controversial issue due to the lack of adequate space, but the high demand."
    • How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, carefully review subject-verb agreements and choose precise verbs to convey ideas. In the given example, consider revising to "the growth of the population in big cities has always been a controversial issue due to the lack of adequate space and the high demand." Proofread the essay thoroughly to catch and rectify similar minor grammatical issues. Additionally, pay attention to word choices to ensure clarity and precision.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid command of grammar and punctuation, there is potential for improvement in sentence structure variety and addressing minor grammatical issues for an even more refined expression of ideas.

Bài sửa mẫu

Some argue that residing in inner cities rather than in suburbs or rural areas is a key solution to alleviate traffic and transportation issues. Personally, I partially agree with this perspective. While cities may offer modern amenities, such as public transport and safety benefits, potential drawbacks, like excessive population density, should be considered.

On one hand, cities possess distinct attributes that can address existing problems. Firstly, the availability of public transportation in urban areas surpasses that in the countryside, significantly easing commuting challenges. The sparse population in remote areas often results in insufficient public transport options, hindering travel to distant locations. Consequently, cities equipped with advanced transportation facilities seem to be optimal living spaces. Secondly, the enforcement of traffic laws and maintenance of roads in highly developed cities contribute to driving safety for residents, minimizing the risk of accidents. In contrast, many roads in non-urban areas are often deteriorated, riddled with potholes, posing hazards to commuters. However, it is essential to acknowledge that this trend still presents some minor issues.

On the other hand, I firmly believe that relocating to urban centers, while enhancing transportation, may lead to other drawbacks, with overpopulation being the most significant concern. The perpetual growth of urban populations has sparked debates due to limited space and high demand. People often fail to consider the numerous downsides of living in densely populated areas, exemplified by the substantial increase in traffic congestion during rush hours. Additionally, overpopulation directly or indirectly exacerbates various issues beyond traffic, contributing to uncontrolled urban sprawl that adversely affects surrounding hinterlands.

To sum up, I believe to some extent that moving to urban areas can address traffic and transportation problems by providing public amenities and ensuring safety. However, it is crucial to recognize that it might exacerbate another issue: the overpopulation of urban citizens.

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