The chart below gives information about birth and death rates in Switzerland from 1975 to 2025 according to United Nations statistics. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below gives information about birth and death rates in Switzerland from 1975 to 2025 according to United Nations statistics.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below illustates about birth and death rates in Switzerland, from 1975 to 2020, according to United Noters statistics.
In general, the amount of birth and death rates had a big changes per years. Specially, in 1985 the number of death rates were higher than the birth rates and stood at 1.3 millions. We can see that, the amount of birth rates were increases per years.
To begin, in 1975 and 1985, the number of birth rate are the same, they stood at 1,2 millions but the death rates are differences. Subsequently, the birth rates from 1995 to 2020 had a positive changes. In 2020, this number was peak at 3,2, this was the highest number in each other years. fortunately, the amount of death rates were considerly decreases. However, the changes of death rates were frustrates and didn't same.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

1. "illustates about" -> "illustrates"
   Explanation: The word "illustates" is a misspelling of "illustrates." Additionally, "about" is unnecessary; "illustrates" alone suffices to convey the meaning.

2. "amount of birth and death rates" -> "levels of birth and death rates"
   Explanation: "Amount" is typically used with uncountable nouns, while "levels" is more appropriate for quantifiable data like birth and death rates.

3. "had a big changes per years" -> "experienced significant changes over the years"
   Explanation: "Had a big changes" is grammatically incorrect and informal. "Experienced significant changes" is more precise and aligns with academic tone. "Over the years" is a more standard phrase than "per years."

4. "the number of death rates were higher than the birth rates" -> "the death rate was higher than the birth rate"
   Explanation: "Death rates" should be singular to match "birth rate" for consistency. The verb "were" should be changed to "was" to agree with the singular subject.

5. "the amount of birth rates were increases per years" -> "the levels of birth rates increased over the years"
   Explanation: "Amount" should be replaced with "levels" for accuracy. "Were increases" is incorrect; "increased" is the correct verb form. "Over the years" is a more appropriate phrase than "per years."

6. "the number of birth rate are the same" -> "the birth rates were the same"
   Explanation: "Number of birth rate" is awkward; "birth rates" is more straightforward. "Are" should be changed to "were" to maintain past tense consistency.

7. "the death rates are differences" -> "the death rates differed"
   Explanation: "Are differences" is vague and grammatically incorrect. "Differed" succinctly conveys the intended meaning.

8. "had a positive changes" -> "experienced positive changes"
   Explanation: "Had a positive changes" is incorrect; "experienced" is a more suitable verb. Additionally, "changes" should be singular to match "a."

9. "this number was peak at 3,2" -> "this number peaked at 3.2"
   Explanation: "Was peak" is incorrect; "peaked" is the correct verb form. The comma should be replaced with a period for numerical accuracy.

10. "this was the highest number in each other years" -> "this was the highest number in all other years"
    Explanation: "In each other years" is awkward and unclear. "In all other years" is clearer and more precise.

11. "the amount of death rates were considerly decreases" -> "the levels of death rates decreased significantly"
    Explanation: "Amount" should be replaced with "levels" for accuracy. "Were considerly decreases" is incorrect; "decreased significantly" is grammatically correct and conveys the intended meaning.

12. "the changes of death rates were frustrates and didn’t same" -> "the changes in death rates were frustrating and inconsistent"
    Explanation: "Frustrates" is incorrect; "frustrating" is the appropriate adjective. "Didn’t same" is vague and unclear; "inconsistent" provides a clearer description of the changes.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 4

Band Score: 4

Explanation: The essay attempts to address the task but does not cover all key features/bullet points. The essay does not provide a clear overview of the main trends in the data. The essay also includes some irrelevant information, such as the statement that "the amount of birth rates were increases per years." This statement is not supported by the data, which shows that birth rates fluctuated over the period.

How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing a clearer overview of the main trends in the data. The essay should also focus on the key features of the data, such as the fact that birth rates increased from 1975 to 2020, while death rates decreased. The essay should also avoid making irrelevant statements.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay presents information with some organization, but there is a noticeable lack of overall progression. While it attempts to discuss the trends in birth and death rates, the connections between ideas are often unclear, leading to confusion. The use of cohesive devices is inadequate and at times inaccurate, which affects the clarity of the comparisons being made. Additionally, the paragraphing is inconsistent, with some ideas not being clearly separated into distinct paragraphs.

How to improve: To enhance coherence and cohesion, the writer should focus on logically organizing the information and ensuring a clear progression of ideas. This can be achieved by using a wider range of cohesive devices appropriately and avoiding repetition. Improving the clarity of referencing and ensuring that each paragraph presents a distinct central topic will also help. Finally, proofreading for grammatical accuracy and clarity will strengthen the overall presentation of the essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 4

Band Score: 4.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary, with basic terms and phrases used repetitively. There are several inaccuracies in word choice (e.g., "illustates about," "amount of birth rates," "big changes per years") that detract from clarity. Additionally, there are noticeable errors in spelling ("Noters," "considerly," "frustrates") and word formation ("the death rates are differences") that may cause strain for the reader. Overall, the vocabulary used is insufficient for the task, leading to a score of Band 4.

How to improve: To enhance lexical resource, the writer should aim to use a wider range of vocabulary, including less common lexical items, while ensuring accuracy in word choice and collocation. Practicing synonyms and varying sentence structures can also help. Furthermore, attention to spelling and grammatical accuracy is essential, as these errors can impede communication.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of grammatical structures, primarily relying on simple sentence forms. While there are attempts to use complex sentences, they are often inaccurate, leading to confusion. Frequent grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement ("the amount of birth rates are the same"), and incorrect word forms ("illustates," "considerly decreases") hinder clarity. Punctuation issues also arise, particularly with commas, which can disrupt the flow of information. Overall, while the essay conveys some information, the errors significantly impact communication.

How to improve: To enhance the grammatical range and accuracy, the writer should focus on the following areas:

1. Variety of Sentence Structures: Incorporate a mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences to demonstrate a wider range of grammatical structures.
2. Subject-Verb Agreement: Ensure that subjects and verbs agree in number and tense to avoid basic grammatical errors.
3. Punctuation: Review punctuation rules to improve clarity and flow, particularly with commas and periods.
4. Proofreading: Take time to proofread the essay to catch and correct spelling and grammatical mistakes before submission.
5. Practice: Engage in exercises that focus on complex sentence formation and grammatical accuracy to build confidence and skill.

Bài sửa mẫu

The chart below illustrates the birth and death rates in Switzerland from 1975 to 2020, according to United Nations statistics.

In general, the birth and death rates experienced significant changes over the years. Specifically, in 1985, the number of deaths was higher than the number of births, standing at 1.3 million. It is evident that the birth rates increased over the years.

To begin, in both 1975 and 1985, the birth rate was the same, at 1.2 million, while the death rates differed. Subsequently, the birth rates from 1995 to 2020 showed a positive trend. In 2020, this number peaked at 3.2 million, marking the highest figure in the given years. Fortunately, the death rates considerably decreased during this period. However, the changes in death rates were inconsistent and did not follow the same trend.