The chart below gives information about car ownership in the UK from 1975 to 2005

The line chart illustrates the number of cars each British household owned over the period of 30 years, starting from 1975.

Overall, it is evident that car ownership in the UK experienced an upward trend, in other words, the percentage of those who did not have a car declined.

In 1975, only 3% of British households owned 3 cars before gradually increasing to 5% in 1995 and reached its peak at 10% at the end of the period. Following the same patterns but with a higher rate, the figure for families who possessed 2 cars doubled through 30 years, from 7% in 1975 to 14% in 2005.

Owning one car was clearly the most favorable choice with the highest proportion despite having a significant drop to 37% in 1985. However, the number then slowly grew back to its start at 45%. Meanwhile, the percentage of those who have no car rapidly decreased from nearly 45% to 25% and remained stable before declining slightly to 23% in 2005.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

"In other words" -> "To clarify"
Explanation: "In other words" is a common phrase used to rephrase or simplify a concept. However, in formal writing, using "To clarify" adds precision and sophistication to the sentence.
"before gradually increasing" -> "before experiencing a gradual increase"
Explanation: Replacing "gradually increasing" with "experiencing a gradual increase" maintains clarity while using a more descriptive verb phrase.
"with a higher rate" -> "at a higher rate"
Explanation: "With a higher rate" is slightly awkward and less precise. Using "at a higher rate" clarifies that the rate itself is higher.
"the figure for families who possessed" -> "the proportion of households that possessed"
Explanation: "Figure" can refer to a numerical value or a visual representation, while "proportion" specifically refers to the ratio of a part to the whole, which is more accurate in this context.
"Owning one car was clearly the most favorable choice" -> "Single-car ownership emerged as the predominant preference"
Explanation: "Favorable choice" is somewhat subjective and lacks precision. "Emerged as the predominant preference" is a more formal and descriptive alternative.
"despite having a significant drop to" -> "although experiencing a significant decline to"
Explanation: "Having a significant drop to" is less precise. "Experiencing a significant decline to" clarifies the change in ownership.
"grew back to its start" -> "rebounded to its initial level"
Explanation: "Grew back to its start" is somewhat colloquial. "Rebounded to its initial level" is a more formal alternative that conveys the idea of returning to the original level.
"the percentage of those who have no car rapidly decreased" -> "the percentage of carless households rapidly declined"
Explanation: "Those who have no car" is slightly awkward. "Carless households" is a more concise and precise alternative.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 7

[
Band Score: 7.0
Explanation: The essay adequately covers the requirements of the task by providing an overview of the trends in car ownership in the UK from 1975 to 2005. It presents a clear overview of the main trends, including the increase in car ownership and the decline in the percentage of households without a car. Key features and bullet points are highlighted, such as the percentages of households owning different numbers of cars over the period.
How to improve: To improve, the essay could provide more detailed analysis of the data, such as discussing possible reasons for the observed trends or comparing the UK’s car ownership with that of other countries. Additionally, ensuring a smoother flow between sentences and paragraphs would enhance the overall coherence and cohesion of the essay.
]

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: The essay logically organizes information and ideas, with clear progression throughout. The introduction sets the context and outlines the trend. Each paragraph presents a clear central topic, focusing on different aspects of the data, such as the overall trend, specific percentages, and changes over time. Cohesive devices are used appropriately, contributing to the smooth flow of ideas. The essay effectively uses referencing to connect ideas within and between sentences. Paragraphing is logical, with distinct breaks between ideas.

How to improve: To enhance coherence and cohesion further, consider varying sentence structures and using a wider range of cohesive devices. Additionally, ensure that transitions between paragraphs are seamless to strengthen the overall flow of the essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey the information effectively. There is consistent use of appropriate vocabulary related to car ownership and statistical trends. The essay also employs less common lexical items such as "proportion" and "rapidly decreased," showing some awareness of style and collocation. However, there are occasional errors in word choice and collocation, such as "the percentage of those who did not have a car declined" could be improved to "the percentage of households without a car decreased." Additionally, the phrase "the figure for families who possessed 2 cars doubled through 30 years" might be clarified for smoother expression.

How to improve: To improve, focus on enhancing the precision of word choice and collocation. Aim for greater consistency and accuracy in expressing statistical trends and relationships. Consider revising certain phrases for clarity and smoother flow. Additionally, expanding the range of less common vocabulary items could further elevate the lexical resource score.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a good range of sentence structures, incorporating both simple and complex forms effectively. There is a variety of sentence structures used throughout the essay, showcasing the writer’s ability to express ideas with flexibility. The majority of sentences are error-free, contributing to clear communication. Complex structures are employed to convey information about the trends shown in the chart, such as "the figure for families who possessed 2 cars doubled through 30 years" and "Owning one car was clearly the most favorable choice with the highest proportion despite having a significant drop to 37% in 1985." These complex structures enhance the clarity and coherence of the essay.

How to improve:
To enhance grammatical accuracy further, ensure consistency in verb tense usage and subject-verb agreement throughout the essay. Additionally, pay attention to the accuracy of prepositions and articles to minimize occasional errors. Proofreading for punctuation consistency and correctness can also contribute to refining the grammatical accuracy of the essay. Overall, maintaining this level of complexity while striving for even fewer errors would solidify the essay’s effectiveness.

Bài sửa mẫu

The line chart presents data on car ownership within British households spanning from 1975 to 2005.

Overall, it is evident that there was a consistent upward trend in car ownership in the UK over the 30-year period, with a corresponding decline in the percentage of households without a car.

In 1975, merely 3% of British households possessed three cars, a figure which gradually rose to 5% by 1995 and peaked at 10% by the end of the period. Similarly, households owning two cars followed a similar trajectory, albeit with a higher rate, doubling from 7% in 1975 to 14% in 2005.

Ownership of a single car emerged as the most popular choice, with the highest proportion of households despite experiencing a significant drop to 37% in 1985. However, this figure gradually rebounded to its initial level of 45%. Concurrently, the percentage of households without a car saw a rapid decline from nearly 45% to 25% before stabilizing, albeit with a slight decrease to 23% by 2005.