The chart below shows the average household spending pattern for households in three income categories as a proportion of their income.

The given bar chart displays the spending patterns on average for households with three different rates of income. Overall, regardless of the income rates, all households spend the most on Housing fee and Transportation, and the least on dining out.

About 30% of the total income of all households are spent on paying rent and housing. Medium and low income families pay nearly 20% of their overall income on transport and commuting, while higher-income households spend a 5% lower amount on this category. Whereas several expenditures record similar spending patterns from all household classes, namely Eating out, Entertainment, Clothing, Health, and Education, that fluctuate between 5 and 10%, there are categories where the spending variety is more significant.

In terms of homemade food, low income families spend a significant proportion of 13% of their average income on this category, while the rates for medium and high income households were lower, at 8% and 5%, respectively. An identical pattern is also seen in Utility expenditure. However, distinct amounts of spending are recorded in Retirement savings, where approximately 17% of overall income is spent by high income households, leaving the other classes behind at 10% for medium income, and 3% for low income families.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

"spending patterns on average" -> "average expenditure patterns"
Explanation: "Average expenditure patterns" is a more precise and formal term that describes the distribution of spending more accurately.
"Housing fee" -> "Housing expenses"
Explanation: "Housing expenses" is a more commonly used term and encompasses various costs related to housing, including rent, mortgage, utilities, and maintenance.
"Transportation" -> "Transportation costs"
Explanation: Using "transportation costs" specifies that the discussion is about the money spent on transportation rather than the broader concept of transportation itself.
"dining out" -> "restaurant dining"
Explanation: "Restaurant dining" is a more formal and specific term for spending money on eating out.
"Medium and low income families" -> "Families with moderate and low incomes"
Explanation: This alternative phrasing maintains consistency in terminology and enhances clarity by specifying the income levels of the families.
"spending variety" -> "spending disparity"
Explanation: "Spending disparity" accurately describes the differences or variations in spending across different categories.
"In terms of homemade food" -> "Regarding expenditures on home-cooked meals"
Explanation: The alternative phrasing provides a more precise description of the spending category and avoids potential ambiguity.
"proportion of 13%" -> "share of 13%"
Explanation: "Share" is a more precise term to describe the portion of income allocated to a specific category.
"Utility expenditure" -> "Utility expenses"
Explanation: Using "utility expenses" maintains consistency in terminology and describes the costs associated with utilities more accurately.
"Retirement savings" -> "Pension contributions"
Explanation: "Pension contributions" specifically refers to the money set aside for retirement, whereas "retirement savings" can be more general and include various retirement investments.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 7

[
Band Score: 7.0
Explanation: The essay adequately covers the requirements of the task by providing a clear overview of the household spending patterns based on income categories. It presents key features such as the highest and lowest spending categories and highlights differences between income groups. The essay effectively summarizes the main trends in household expenditure.
How to improve: To improve, the essay could provide more detailed analysis and extension of key points, particularly regarding the significance of the spending patterns observed and their implications for different income groups. Additionally, ensuring accuracy and clarity in the presentation of data would enhance the overall effectiveness of the essay.
]

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a logical organization of information and ideas, with clear progression throughout. Each paragraph presents a clear central topic, focusing on different aspects of the spending patterns. Cohesive devices are used appropriately to connect ideas, facilitating smooth transitions between sentences and paragraphs. The sequencing of information is logical, allowing the reader to follow the progression of ideas easily.

How to improve:
To further enhance coherence and cohesion, ensure consistent use of cohesive devices throughout the essay. While the essay effectively utilizes cohesive devices, there may be occasional instances of underuse or overuse. Additionally, consider refining paragraphing to ensure that each paragraph addresses a single main idea or aspect of the spending patterns, thus enhancing clarity and coherence. Overall, maintaining a balance in the use of cohesive devices and refining paragraph structure will contribute to further improving coherence and cohesion in future essays.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey ideas effectively. It utilizes various vocabulary items related to household spending patterns, such as "spending patterns," "expenditures," "proportion," "commuting," and "fluctuate." Additionally, the essay shows an attempt to use less common vocabulary, such as "commuting" and "retirement savings." There is also some awareness of style and collocation, evident in phrases like "spending variety" and "significant proportion." While occasional errors in word choice and collocation are present, such as "paying rent and housing" (where "housing expenses" might be more accurate), these do not significantly detract from overall comprehension.

How to improve: To improve lexical resource, aim for greater precision in word choice and collocation. Additionally, expand the range of vocabulary used, especially in describing spending categories and patterns. Ensure that uncommon lexical items are used accurately and appropriately to enhance clarity and sophistication. Finally, pay attention to grammatical accuracy to further enhance lexical resource.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a variety of sentence structures, including both simple and complex forms. There is evidence of attempt at complex sentence structures, contributing to the range of structures used. The majority of sentences are error-free, showcasing good control of grammar and punctuation. However, there are a few minor errors present throughout the essay, such as missing articles ("the" before "spending patterns") and some awkward phrasing ("spending the most on Housing fee and Transportation" could be improved to "spending the most on housing fees and transportation"). Despite these minor errors, they do not significantly impede communication.

How to improve: To improve the grammatical accuracy and range, pay closer attention to article usage and sentence structure. Additionally, aim for more precise and concise phrasing to enhance clarity and fluency. Proofreading the essay thoroughly to catch and correct any minor errors will help elevate it to a higher band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

The provided bar chart illustrates the average expenditure patterns among households categorized by three distinct income levels. Overall, it is evident that regardless of income levels, the highest proportion of expenditure is allocated towards Housing and Transportation, while Dining out accounts for the smallest proportion.

It is notable that approximately 30% of the total income across all households is dedicated to rent and housing expenses. Medium and low-income households allocate nearly 20% of their income to transportation and commuting, with higher-income households spending a slightly lower percentage in this category. Conversely, several expenditure categories such as Eating out, Entertainment, Clothing, Health, and Education exhibit similar spending patterns, fluctuating between 5% and 10% across all income groups.

However, there are notable variations in certain categories. Low-income households allocate a significant portion, approximately 13% of their average income, to homemade food, whereas medium and high-income households spend comparatively less, at 8% and 5% respectively. A similar pattern is observed in Utility expenditure. Additionally, there are marked differences in Retirement savings, with high-income households allocating approximately 17% of their income, compared to 10% for medium-income households and 3% for low-income families.

In summary, while some expenditure categories exhibit consistent patterns across income groups, others demonstrate significant disparities, highlighting varying spending priorities among households with different income levels.