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The chart below shows the distribution of positive and negative responses given in a market survey about service provision at a leisure centre. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

The chart below shows the distribution of positive and negative responses given in a market survey about service provision at a leisure centre.
Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
You should write at least 150 words.

The bar chart gives us information about positive and negative reactions of customers with services that were provided in a leisure centre.
Overall, most clients satisfied with the attitude of staff in centre, while ticket cost service had the most negative responses. In addition, booking service received the same amount in both positive and negative answers.
950 people said that they enjoyed the attitude of staff in leisure centre, made this service become the most loved with customers. In the second place was parking service with 700 choices, much lower than the top of the list. This was closely followed by booking service with 650 votes from participants. Ranked in the bottom of the list was ticket cost service that was chosen by only 350 people who enjoyed it.
In contrast, the most unenthusiastic service with customers was ticket cost with 900 choices. It was much more than the second place – booking service, which received 600 negative responses. Next come with parking service, 550 people who completed the survey said that they didn't prefer it. The attitude of staff was given the least negative answers, just only 300 people didn't enjoy it.


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Errors and Improvements:

  1. "most loved with customers" -> "most favored among customers"
    Explanation: "Most loved" is colloquial; "most favored among customers" is more formal and precise, maintaining clarity.

  2. "choices" -> "responses"
    Explanation: "Choices" can imply options available to choose from, whereas "responses" directly relates to answers or selections made in a survey context.

  3. "much more than" -> "significantly more than"
    Explanation: "Much more than" is informal; "significantly more than" is more precise and formal, suitable for a professional tone.

  4. "come with" -> "followed by"
    Explanation: "Come with" is less precise; "followed by" indicates the subsequent order in a clearer and more formal manner.

  5. "didn’t prefer it" -> "expressed dissatisfaction"
    Explanation: "Didn’t prefer it" is somewhat vague; "expressed dissatisfaction" explicitly states the negative sentiment conveyed in the survey.

  6. "least negative answers" -> "fewest negative responses"
    Explanation: "Least negative answers" could imply answers that were less negative in tone, whereas "fewest negative responses" clarifies the number of negative reactions received.

By making these vocabulary improvements, the essay will achieve a more formal and precise tone, enhancing clarity and professionalism in presenting survey results.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay generally addresses the task by summarizing the main features of the bar chart on positive and negative responses to services at a leisure centre. It provides an overview, mentioning the most positive and negative aspects identified in the survey. Key features such as staff attitude, ticket cost, parking service, and booking service are highlighted, though the details lack depth and are somewhat repetitive. There is an attempt to compare positive and negative responses, but the comparison lacks clarity and coherence in places.

How to improve:

  • Provide a clearer and more structured overview of the main trends and comparisons between positive and negative responses.
  • Ensure that all key features are adequately covered with relevant data.
  • Avoid repetition and focus more on meaningful comparisons rather than just listing responses.
  • Work on improving coherence and clarity in presenting comparisons and main features.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates some organization with a basic introduction and clear paragraphs discussing different aspects of the survey results. There is an attempt to summarize the main features and make comparisons, though the structure is somewhat disjointed. The essay lacks overall progression as it jumps between different aspects without a clear flow.

Cohesive devices are used inconsistently and often inaccurately, affecting the clarity of relationships between ideas. For instance, phrases like "In contrast" are used to introduce comparisons, but their effectiveness is limited due to awkward phrasing and lack of contextual connection.

Paragraphing is attempted, but it is not always logical. Some ideas are grouped together loosely, and transitions between paragraphs are not consistently clear.

How to improve:

  1. Organizational Structure: Focus on a clearer introduction that outlines what will be discussed in the body paragraphs. Ensure each paragraph has a distinct topic related to the survey results.

  2. Cohesive Devices: Use cohesive devices more accurately and appropriately. Connect ideas more logically using linking words and phrases that clarify relationships between sentences and paragraphs.

  3. Paragraphing: Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea or aspect of the survey results. Use topic sentences to introduce each paragraph and maintain a logical flow between them.

Improving these aspects will enhance the coherence and cohesion of the essay, leading to a more effective presentation of the survey findings.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 4

Band Score: 4.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary, often using basic and repetitive language ("positive and negative reactions," "enjoyed the attitude," "much more than"). There are several instances of word choice errors and awkward phrasing ("made this service become the most loved," "parking service with 700 choices"). The use of vocabulary is not varied enough to convey precise meanings, and there are noticeable errors in word formation ("ticket cost service," "didn’t prefer it").

How to improve:

  1. Increase Vocabulary Range: Use a wider variety of words and phrases to express ideas more precisely and clearly.
  2. Avoid Repetition: Find synonyms and alternative expressions to avoid using the same words repeatedly.
  3. Work on Word Formation: Pay attention to how words are formed and used in context to improve accuracy.

Improving in these areas will help elevate the lexical resource score to a higher band level.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 4

Band Score: 4.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a limited range of sentence structures, mostly simple and repetitive. There are frequent grammatical errors and issues with punctuation throughout the essay, which affect clarity and coherence. For example, there are problems with subject-verb agreement ("ticket cost service had the most negative responses") and sentence structure ("Ranked in the bottom of the list was ticket cost service").

How to improve:
To improve the grammatical range and accuracy:

  1. Expand Sentence Structures: Incorporate more complex sentence structures such as compound sentences and subordinate clauses to enhance variety.
  2. Correct Basic Grammar: Address issues with subject-verb agreement, tense consistency, and article usage to improve clarity.
  3. Improve Punctuation: Work on proper comma usage and punctuation at the sentence level to enhance readability.

Improving these areas will help elevate the essay to a higher band score by demonstrating a broader range of structures and improved accuracy in grammar and punctuation.

Bài sửa mẫu

Certainly! Here’s an improved version of the IELTS Task 1 report based on the provided original:


The bar chart illustrates the distribution of positive and negative feedback from a market survey concerning service provision at a leisure centre.

Overall, the majority of respondents expressed satisfaction with the attitude of the staff, while the ticket cost service received the highest number of negative responses. Additionally, the booking service elicited an equal number of positive and negative reactions.

The most favored service among customers was the attitude of the staff, with 950 respondents expressing their satisfaction. Following this, the parking service received 700 positive responses, significantly lower than the top-ranked service. The booking service closely trailed with 650 votes from participants. Conversely, the ticket cost service garnered the least positive feedback, chosen by only 350 respondents.

In contrast, the ticket cost service received the highest number of negative responses, totaling 900. This figure was substantially higher compared to the booking service, which received 600 negative responses. The parking service followed closely with 550 respondents indicating dissatisfaction. The staff’s attitude received the least negative feedback, with only 300 respondents expressing discontent.


This revised version maintains the original data points and closely mirrors the structure while enhancing clarity, coherence, and grammatical accuracy.

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