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The chart below shows the evolution of the major world exporters of liquefied gas from 2017 to 2023. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the evolution of the major world exporters of liquefied gas from 2017 to 2023. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graph illustrates how much liquefied gas has been exported by three different countries between 2017 and 2023.

Overall, while the number of liquefied gas exported by the USA and Australia increased overtime, the figures for Qatar remained unchanged.

Around ten million tons of gas was exported by the USA, after which it saw a significant rise to approximately seventy million tons in 202. By 2023, the US had become the leading exporter, with exports continuing to rise sharply. As for Australia, Australia’s exports grew at a slower pace, beginning at around 50 million tons of liquefied gas and ending with approximately 80 million tons. Qatar’s exports remained relatively stable, at around 70 million tons, throughout the period, with only slight increases.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

  1. "The line graph illustrates" -> "The line graph depicts"
    Explanation: "Depicts" is a more precise and formal term than "illustrates" in the context of presenting data visually, enhancing the academic tone of the introduction.

  2. "how much liquefied gas has been exported" -> "the volume of liquefied gas exported"
    Explanation: "The volume of liquefied gas exported" is more specific and formal, focusing on the quantity rather than the vague "how much," which is less precise in an academic context.

  3. "between 2017 and 2023" -> "over the period from 2017 to 2023"
    Explanation: "Over the period from 2017 to 2023" is more formal and specific, clearly indicating the time frame being discussed.

  4. "the number of liquefied gas exported by the USA and Australia increased overtime" -> "the volume of liquefied gas exported by the USA and Australia increased over time"
    Explanation: "Increased over time" is more formal and precise than "increased overtime," which is colloquial and less appropriate for academic writing.

  5. "Around ten million tons of gas was exported" -> "Approximately 10 million tons of liquefied gas were exported"
    Explanation: "Approximately 10 million tons of liquefied gas were exported" corrects the grammatical error ("was" to "were") and specifies the type of gas, enhancing clarity and formality.

  6. "after which it saw a significant rise to approximately seventy million tons in 202" -> "subsequently, it rose significantly to approximately 70 million tons in 202"
    Explanation: "Subsequently, it rose significantly" is more formal and precise, replacing the informal "after which" and clarifying the verb tense.

  7. "the US had become the leading exporter" -> "the United States emerged as the leading exporter"
    Explanation: "Emerged as the leading exporter" is a more formal and precise way to describe the change in status, replacing the more casual "had become."

  8. "As for Australia, Australia’s exports grew at a slower pace" -> "Regarding Australia, its exports grew at a slower rate"
    Explanation: "Regarding Australia, its exports grew at a slower rate" is more formal and avoids the repetition of "Australia," improving readability and formality.

  9. "liquefied gas" -> "liquefied natural gas"
    Explanation: Adding "natural" specifies the type of gas, enhancing clarity and precision in the description.

  10. "ending with approximately 80 million tons" -> "ending with approximately 80 million tons of liquefied natural gas"
    Explanation: Adding "of liquefied natural gas" clarifies the type of gas, aligning with the earlier specification.

  11. "Qatar’s exports remained relatively stable" -> "Qatar’s exports remained relatively consistent"
    Explanation: "Consistent" is a more precise term than "stable" in this context, indicating a steady pattern without implying a lack of change.

  12. "with only slight increases" -> "with only minor increases"
    Explanation: "Minor" is more precise and formal than "slight," which is somewhat vague and less formal.

These changes enhance the academic tone and precision of the essay, aligning it with formal writing standards.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay addresses the requirements of the task by providing an overview of the main trends in the data. It also presents and adequately highlights key features/bullet points, such as the significant rise in US exports and the stable exports of Qatar. However, the essay does not provide a clear comparison between the three countries, which is a requirement of the task.

How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing a more detailed comparison between the three countries. For example, the essay could state that the US saw the most significant increase in exports, while Australia’s exports grew at a slower pace. The essay could also compare the overall levels of exports for each country.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0
Explanation: The essay presents a coherent overview of the data, with a clear overall progression from the introduction to the conclusion. The information is arranged logically, and the main features of the graph are summarized. However, while cohesive devices are used effectively, there are instances where the cohesion between sentences could be improved, leading to a somewhat mechanical flow. The paragraphing is present but could be more logically structured, particularly in separating the discussion of each country’s exports more distinctly.

How to improve: To enhance the score for Coherence and Cohesion, the writer should focus on improving the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. This could involve using a wider range of cohesive devices and ensuring that transitions between ideas are smoother. Additionally, separating the discussion of each country into distinct paragraphs could help clarify the comparisons being made, thus improving the overall organization of the essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary relevant to the task, with some attempts to use less common terms such as "liquefied gas" and "exported." However, there are inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as "the number of liquefied gas exported" instead of "the amount of liquefied gas exported." Additionally, there are some errors in spelling and word formation, such as "overtime" instead of "over time" and "the US had become the leading exporter" which could be phrased more clearly. These errors do not impede communication but do indicate a need for improvement in lexical precision.

How to improve: To enhance lexical resource, the writer should focus on expanding their vocabulary, particularly in terms of synonyms and more precise terms related to the topic. Practicing the correct usage of collocations and ensuring clarity in phrasing will also help. Additionally, reviewing spelling and word formation rules can reduce errors, thereby improving overall clarity and sophistication in vocabulary use.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, which is characteristic of a Band 6 performance. While the writer conveys the main features of the graph and makes comparisons, there are some grammatical errors and awkward phrasing that occasionally hinder clarity. For instance, phrases like "the number of liquefied gas exported" should be "the amount of liquefied gas exported," and "the figures for Qatar remained unchanged" could be clearer if rephrased. Overall, the errors present do not severely impede communication, but they do indicate a need for improvement in grammatical accuracy and range.
How to improve: To enhance the grammatical range and accuracy, the writer should focus on the following:

  1. Variety in Sentence Structure: Incorporate more complex sentence structures and ensure that they are used accurately. This can be achieved by practicing the use of subordinate clauses and varying sentence beginnings.
  2. Proofreading for Errors: Take time to review the essay for grammatical mistakes and awkward phrasing. This can help in identifying and correcting errors that may detract from the overall quality of the writing.
  3. Use of Precise Language: Aim for more precise vocabulary and phrasing to enhance clarity. For example, using "amount" instead of "number" when referring to uncountable nouns like gas can improve accuracy.

Bài sửa mẫu

The line graph illustrates the volume of liquefied gas exported by three different countries between 2017 and 2023.

Overall, while the amount of liquefied gas exported by the USA and Australia increased over time, the figures for Qatar remained unchanged.

Around ten million tons of gas were exported by the USA, after which it saw a significant rise to approximately seventy million tons in 2022. By 2023, the USA had become the leading exporter, with exports continuing to rise sharply. As for Australia, its exports grew at a slower pace, beginning at around fifty million tons of liquefied gas and ending with approximately eighty million tons. Qatar’s exports remained relatively stable at around seventy million tons throughout the period, with only slight increases.

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