The chart below shows the number of films produced five countries in three years.

The bar chart illustrates how many films manufactured in five countries from 2007 to 2009.
It can be seen from the chart that the most manufacturable country is A throughout these years. However, country A experienced a decreasing trend, country D fluctuated, while others witness an upward movement.
At the beginning, the figure for country A is 85 films, then remaining unchanged in next year, but later decreasing slightly by 6 films at the last period. In 2007, the number of films in country D is 15 films, this figure decreased to 9 films in 2008 but later increased to 13 films in 2009.
The second place goes for B as it accounts for 50 films, ascended slightly to 52 films in 2008 then considerably to 70 films in 2009. Just trailing behind is country C, at 8 films, the figure increased modestly to 14 films in 2008 then marginally to 17 films in 2009. As for country E, the figure increased negligibly to 10 and 12 films in the next few years.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

"manufactured" -> "produced"
Explanation: "Manufactured" is a bit technical and less commonly used in everyday language. "Produced" is a simpler and more common term to describe the creation of films.
"manufacturable" -> "productive"
Explanation: "Manufacturable" is not the appropriate term here. "Productive" is more fitting to describe a country’s capacity to produce films.
"witness an upward movement" -> "experience an upward trend"
Explanation: "Witness" can sound a bit informal in this context. "Experience" is a more neutral term. "Upward trend" is a more precise description of the movement depicted in the chart.
"remaining unchanged in next year" -> "remaining unchanged in the following year"
Explanation: "Next year" should be changed to "the following year" for clarity and correctness.
"later decreasing slightly" -> "subsequently decreasing marginally"
Explanation: "Later decreasing slightly" is somewhat redundant. "Subsequently decreasing marginally" provides a more concise and precise description.
"ascended slightly" -> "rose slightly"
Explanation: "Ascended" is less commonly used in this context. "Rose" is a simpler and more direct term to describe an increase.
"considerably to" -> "substantially to"
Explanation: "Considerably" is a bit vague. "Substantially" provides a clearer indication of the significant increase.
"increased modestly" -> "modestly increased"
Explanation: Reversing the word order makes the sentence more grammatically correct and formal.
"marginally to" -> "slightly to"
Explanation: "Marginally" may be too technical in this context. "Slightly" is a simpler and more common term to describe a small increase.
"increased negligibly" -> "negligibly increased"
Explanation: Reversing the word order makes the sentence more grammatically correct and formal.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation:
The essay adequately addresses the task requirements by describing the number of films produced in five countries over three years. The essay provides an overview of the main trends in the data, including increases, decreases, and fluctuations in film production across the countries mentioned. Key features such as the highest and lowest producing countries and their changes over time are highlighted.

How to improve:
To improve, the essay could extend the description of key features and provide more accurate details. Ensure that all information is relevant and correctly presented. Additionally, consider organizing the information more clearly, perhaps using separate paragraphs for each country to enhance clarity and readability.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information and ideas in a coherent manner, with a clear overall progression from one point to another. Each paragraph presents a central topic, discussing the film production trends of the mentioned countries over the specified time period. Cohesive devices are used effectively to connect ideas within and between sentences, though there are instances of mechanical cohesion. Paragraphing is employed, but it is not always logical, as some paragraphs could be further subdivided for clearer organization and focus.

How to improve: To enhance coherence and cohesion, ensure that the progression of ideas is seamless and logical throughout the essay. Use cohesive devices more naturally to create smoother transitions between sentences and paragraphs. Additionally, consider refining paragraph structure to ensure each paragraph addresses a single main idea, avoiding tangential discussions that may disrupt the overall flow.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, covering the essential points of the bar chart. There is an attempt to use less common vocabulary, such as "manufacturable" and "ascended slightly," but some inaccuracies are present. The essay provides a clear overview of the data presented in the chart, describing the trends and fluctuations in film production across the mentioned countries and years. However, there are some errors in word choice and collocation, such as "witness an upward movement" instead of "witnessing an upward trend." Additionally, there are minor errors in word formation and spelling, such as "manufacturable" instead of "producing" and "marginally" instead of "marginally increased." These errors do not significantly impede communication but slightly affect the clarity and precision of the essay.

How to improve:
To improve lexical resource, strive for greater accuracy and precision in word choice and collocation. Ensure consistency in tense usage throughout the essay. Expand vocabulary to include more sophisticated and precise terms where appropriate. Pay close attention to word formation and spelling to minimize errors and enhance clarity. Additionally, aim for a smoother flow of ideas by using transitions effectively between sentences and paragraphs.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a variety of sentence structures, including both simple and complex sentences. There is effective use of transitional phrases to connect ideas. The majority of sentences are error-free, with only occasional minor errors in grammar and punctuation, such as "manufactured" instead of "produced" and "witness" instead of "witnessed". Overall, there is good control of grammar and punctuation.

How to improve: To improve, focus on consistency in verb tenses throughout the essay. Ensure accurate word choice and use of plural forms where necessary. Proofreading for minor errors and refining sentence structures can further enhance clarity and precision.

Bài sửa mẫu

The provided bar chart illustrates the production of films across five countries over the span of three years, from 2007 to 2009.

Overall, it is evident that Country A was the most prolific in film production throughout the given period, albeit experiencing a decline in the final year. Country D displayed fluctuations, while the remaining countries showed an overall upward trend.

Country A commenced the period with 85 films in 2007, maintaining this figure in 2008 before experiencing a slight decrease to 79 films by 2009. Conversely, Country D began with 15 films in 2007, decreased to 9 films in 2008, then rose to 13 films by 2009.

In terms of the second most productive country, Country B, it saw a modest increase from 50 films in 2007 to 52 films in 2008, followed by a considerable rise to 70 films by 2009. Country C, in third place, started with 8 films in 2007, rose to 14 films in 2008, and further increased to 17 films by 2009. Country E witnessed a slight rise from 10 films in 2007 to 12 films in 2009.

In summary, while Country A led in film production, other countries experienced varied trends over the three-year period.