The chart below shows the number of households in the US by their annual income in 2007, 2011 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the number of households in the US by their annual income in 2007, 2011 and 2015.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The provided chart illustrates the information about the volume of households in the United States categorized by the yearly salary for the year 2007, 2011 and 2015.
In general, upon analyzing the data, it is true that the number of those who earned $100,000 or more was dominant throughout the period. Another significant thing is that the changes in annual wages of houses with $75,000-$99,999 were almost negligible during the period shown.
In 2007, the proportion of individuals in the US whose income was less than $25,000 was approximately 25 million. The figure experienced a slight increase to around 29 million in 2011, after which there was a marginal decline to 27 million in 2015. A similar pattern emerged for the households with yearly income $25,000-$49,999 saw an increase from roughly 26 million to 30 million between 2007 and 2011, before dropping to nearly 28 million in 2015.
The $50,000-$74,999 and $75,000-$99,999 annual earnings brackets exhibited stability across all three years, hovering around 21 million and 15 million respectively. Ultimately, the rate of families with more than $100,000 was at the top of the list throughout the considerable timeframe, except for 2011. At that point, it declined from just under 30 million in 2007 to around 27 million in 2011, and then experienced a remarkable rise and reached the peak at 33 million in 2015.

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Errors and Improvements:

1. "the volume of households" -> "the number of households"
   Explanation: "Volume" typically refers to physical space or quantity, whereas "number" is more appropriate for counting households in this context.

2. "yearly salary" -> "annual income"
   Explanation: "Annual income" is a more precise and commonly used term to describe the total amount earned within a year, whereas "yearly salary" focuses specifically on wages.

3. "upon analyzing the data" -> "after analyzing the data"
   Explanation: "Upon" implies an immediate action following another, whereas "after" denotes a sequence of events, which is more fitting in this context.

4. "dominant" -> "predominant"
   Explanation: "Predominant" is a more precise and formal synonym for "dominant," enhancing the sophistication of the analysis.

5. "Another significant thing is that" -> "Another noteworthy aspect is that"
   Explanation: "Significant thing" lacks specificity and formality. "Noteworthy aspect" is more precise and formal, enhancing clarity and sophistication.

6. "changes in annual wages of houses" -> "variations in household annual incomes"
   Explanation: "Changes in annual wages of houses" is unclear and grammatically incorrect. "Variations in household annual incomes" accurately describes the fluctuations in income over time.

7. "almost negligible" -> "virtually insignificant"
   Explanation: "Virtually insignificant" conveys a stronger sense of insignificance compared to "almost negligible," adding emphasis to the observation.

8. "individuals in the US whose income" -> "households in the US with incomes"
   Explanation: The term "individuals" is too broad here since the data pertains to households, not individual people. "Households in the US with incomes" provides clarity and accuracy.

9. "was approximately" -> "stood at"
   Explanation: "Stood at" is a more concise and formal way to express a specific numerical value, enhancing precision in the description of the data.

10. "the figure experienced a slight increase" -> "the number witnessed a marginal increase"
    Explanation: "Experienced a slight increase" is somewhat vague. "Witnessed a marginal increase" is more specific and formal, providing clarity in describing the change.

11. "a similar pattern emerged for the households" -> "similar trends were observed among households"
    Explanation: "Pattern emerged for the households" is awkward. "Similar trends were observed among households" is a clearer and more formal way to convey the information.

12. "hovering around" -> "remaining approximately"
    Explanation: "Hovering around" is colloquial. "Remaining approximately" is more formal and precise in describing the stability of the figures.

13. "at the top of the list" -> "leading the statistics"
    Explanation: "At the top of the list" is informal. "Leading the statistics" conveys the same meaning in a more formal manner.

14. "experienced a remarkable rise" -> "witnessed a significant increase"
    Explanation: "Experienced a remarkable rise" is somewhat informal. "Witnessed a significant increase" is a more formal and precise way to describe the rise in numbers.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 7

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Band Score: 7.0
Explanation: The essay effectively summarizes the main features of the data provided, including the dominant trend of households earning $100,000 or more, stability in certain income brackets, and slight fluctuations in others. It presents a clear overview of the main trends in household incomes over the specified period (2007, 2011, and 2015).
How to improve: To improve, the essay could provide a more extensive discussion of the data, particularly in elaborating on the significance of the observed trends and perhaps offering more comparisons between income brackets across the years. Additionally, enhancing clarity and precision in language would further strengthen the response.
]

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0
Explanation: The essay logically organizes the information by first introducing the main features of the data and then providing a clear progression through the various income brackets over the three years. The writer effectively uses cohesive devices to connect ideas, such as "Another significant thing is that," "In general," and "Ultimately." Each paragraph presents a clear central topic related to different income brackets, contributing to the overall coherence of the essay.
How to improve: To further enhance coherence and cohesion, the essay could benefit from more varied cohesive devices to establish stronger connections between sentences and paragraphs. Additionally, ensuring consistent paragraphing throughout the essay would improve its overall structure and readability.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey the information effectively. There is a consistent use of appropriate vocabulary related to income and household demographics. The essay employs less common lexical items such as "proportion," "brackets," and "exhibited stability," showcasing some awareness of style and collocation. While occasional errors in word choice are present (e.g., "wages of houses" instead of "households" or "families" might be a better term), they do not significantly hinder understanding. The transitions between different income brackets are well articulated, enhancing clarity and coherence.

How to improve: To further enhance lexical resource, focus on using more varied vocabulary related to data analysis and demographics. Additionally, strive for precision in word choice to eliminate occasional inaccuracies. Proofreading for consistency in terminology and refining transitions between ideas could also contribute to improving the lexical quality of the essay.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a good control of grammar and punctuation with a variety of complex structures used throughout the text. The essay effectively communicates the main features of the chart and makes relevant comparisons between the different income brackets over the three years. Complex sentence forms are utilized to convey the information accurately. There are frequent error-free sentences, and the errors that do occur are minor and do not significantly impede communication.

How to improve: To further enhance the grammatical range and accuracy, strive for even greater variety in sentence structures. Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement and ensure consistency in tense usage throughout the essay. Additionally, proofreading for minor errors such as typos or missing articles can help elevate the overall clarity and precision of the writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

The provided chart delineates the distribution of households in the United States according to their annual income for the years 2007, 2011, and 2015.

Overall, it is evident that households with an annual income of $100,000 or more constituted the predominant segment throughout the period under consideration. Additionally, noteworthy is the relative stability observed in the income bracket of $75,000-$99,999 across the mentioned years.

In 2007, approximately 25 million individuals in the US had an annual income of less than $25,000. This figure experienced a modest increase to around 29 million in 2011, followed by a slight decline to 27 million in 2015. Similarly, households earning between $25,000 and $49,999 witnessed an increase from roughly 26 million in 2007 to 30 million in 2011, before declining to nearly 28 million in 2015.

The income brackets of $50,000-$74,999 and $75,000-$99,999 demonstrated stability across all three years, with figures hovering around 21 million and 15 million, respectively. Notably, households with an annual income exceeding $100,000 remained at the forefront throughout the period, with the exception of 2011. During that year, there was a decline from just under 30 million in 2007 to around 27 million in 2011, followed by a remarkable upsurge, reaching a peak of 33 million in 2015.